How to Shake Hands like a Gentleman - Handshake Etiquette for Confident Introductions

Summary

This video from the Gentleman's Gazette explores the history and etiquette of handshakes, from ancient origins to modern usage. It covers when and how to shake hands, emphasizing the importance of trust and respect. The video also addresses cultural variations in handshakes and offers tips for proper technique, including grip pressure and body language. Additionally, it discusses alternatives like the fist bump and provides advice for handling handshake mishaps.

Takeaways

• 🤝 The handshake is a fundamental part of social interactions and business deals, conveying trust, respect, balance, and equality.
• 🏺 The practice of handshaking dates back to the 5th century, originating as a gesture of peace.
• 🌍 Today, handshakes are common upon meeting, greeting, parting, offering congratulations, expressing gratitude, or completing agreements.
• 🤝 In sports, handshakes are a sign of good sportsmanship, showing respect for opponents.
• 🗣️ Handshake appropriateness varies by culture; some have specific handshakes or avoid them altogether.
• 👋 Handshake etiquette includes rising if seated, making eye contact, and offering a sincere smile.
• 🤔 The person in higher authority or older age typically initiates the handshake, but it's okay to take the lead if they don't.
• 🖐 A firm grip is important, but avoid being overly aggressive; the handshake should reflect assertiveness.
• 👐 The point of contact should be the web of the hand, avoiding a 'dead fish' or 'death grip' handshake.
• 🙌 The left hand should be visible and relaxed, not clenched or used to cup the other person's hand.
• 💡 If a handshake goes wrong, such as being left hanging, handle it with grace and perhaps humor.

Q & A

What is the historical origin of the handshake?

The handshake, also known as dexiosis, was practiced as far back as the fifth century, particularly in ancient Greece. It is believed to have originated as a gesture of peace, indicating that the hand offered for a shake was not holding a weapon.

What are the main purposes of a handshake in today's world?

The handshake is used to convey trust, respect, balance, and equality. It is commonly performed upon meeting, greeting, parting, offering congratulations, expressing gratitude, or completing an agreement.

In which situations is a handshake appropriate?

A handshake is appropriate when greeting guests, saying goodbye at a gathering, meeting in-laws or future family members, meeting someone you haven't seen in a while, and in any professional setting such as a job interview.

What are some cultural variations in handshake practices?

In Switzerland, it may be expected to shake a woman's hand first. In Russia, a handshake is common among men but not women. In Turkey or the Arabic-speaking Middle East, handshakes are softer, and a firm grip is considered rude. In China and Japan, a softer handshake is preferred, and in Korea, the senior person initiates the handshake.

How does the handshake differ in Japan and Korea?

In Japan, a formal bow with open hands at the sides is customary, while in Korea, a softer handshake initiated by the senior individual is preferred, often with the left hand grasping the right arm as a sign of respect.

What is the significance of the fist bump as an alternative to the handshake?

The fist bump spreads fewer germs than handshakes or high-fives, as it does not involve the palms of the hands. It is becoming more common in non-business settings as people become more aware of germs.

When should you offer your hand for a handshake?

You should wait until the other person has finished speaking or being introduced before offering your hand. It is also polite to rise if you are seated and to make eye contact with a sincere smile.

What is the proper grip pressure for a handshake?

The grip should be firm and not limp, but also not too strong to the point of being a 'death grip'. It should reflect assertiveness rather than aggression or passivity.

What should your left hand be doing during a handshake?

Your left hand should remain visible and not clenched into a fist, as this may come across as hostile. It should simply be at your side and not used to cup the other person's hand or touch their arm.

How should you react if your handshake is not reciprocated?

If you are left hanging, try not to feel embarrassed. It is likely a timing issue rather than a sign of disrespect. If you make a mistake, simply try again with a smile and perhaps a bit of self-deprecating humor.

What are some tips for maintaining good hygiene during a handshake?

Ensure your hands are clean and free of dirt, grease, food, or debris. If you have sweaty palms, blot your hand on your trousers or a handkerchief before shaking. If you shake hands with someone who has sweaty palms, avoid wiping your hand immediately as it may be seen as disrespectful.

Outlines

00:00

🤝 Introduction to the Art of Handshakes

The paragraph introduces the topic of handshakes, their importance in social interactions and business deals, and hints at the historical origins of this practice. It mentions that handshakes, also known as dexiosis, date back to the fifth century and were common in ancient Greece. The handshake is portrayed as a gesture of peace, indicating a hand free of weapons. In modern times, handshakes are used to convey trust, respect, balance, and equality in various situations such as greetings, farewells, congratulations, gratitude, and agreements. The paragraph also provides a list of appropriate occasions for handshakes and advises on the cultural differences in handshake practices.

05:05

🌐 Cultural Variations and Alternatives to Handshakes

This paragraph delves into the cultural variations of handshakes, noting that different countries and regions have their own styles or may not practice handshakes at all. It provides examples from Switzerland, Russia, Turkey, the Middle East, China, Japan, Korea, and Africa, highlighting the nuances in grip firmness and the alternative greetings like bows in some cultures. The paragraph also touches on special handshakes within organizations like the Scouts and Freemasons, and mentions the fist bump as a more hygienic alternative to handshakes, spreading fewer germs.

10:10

👔 Mastering the Proper Handshake Technique

The final paragraph focuses on the proper etiquette of handshakes, emphasizing the timing, body language, and grip pressure. It advises on when to initiate a handshake, the importance of eye contact and a sincere smile, and the appropriate level of grip strength. The paragraph also discusses the correct point of contact, the use of the right hand, and the visibility of the left hand during a handshake. It concludes with advice on how to handle handshake mistakes gracefully and mentions the presenter's attire, which includes a medium blue suit, pastel blue shirt, and accessories from Fort Belvedere.

Keywords

💡Handshake

A handshake is a form of non-verbal communication where two people grasp each other's right hands, typically to signify greeting, agreement, or congratulations. In the video, the handshake is the central theme, with discussions on its history, cultural variations, and proper etiquette. The script mentions handshakes in various contexts such as business deals, social interactions, and sportsmanship.

💡Dexiosis

Dexiosis refers to the historical term for handshakes, dating back to ancient Greece where it was depicted in art and practiced as a custom. The script mentions dexiosis to provide a historical perspective on the handshake, indicating its long-standing cultural significance.

💡Etiquette

Etiquette encompasses the conventions and rules for polite behavior in society. The video discusses the etiquette of handshakes, including when to initiate them, the appropriate grip pressure, and how to handle handshakes in different cultural contexts. Etiquette is crucial for conveying trust and respect through handshakes.

💡Cultural Variations

Cultural variations refer to the differences in customs and practices across different societies. The script highlights how handshakes can vary significantly around the world, such as in Russia, Turkey, China, and Japan, where the firmness, duration, or even the absence of handshakes can differ. Understanding these variations is key to respecting cultural norms during social interactions.

💡Trust

Trust is the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, or surety of a person or thing. In the context of the video, a handshake is described as a gesture to convey trust, particularly in business settings where it can signify the completion of an agreement or transaction.

💡Respect

Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. The video emphasizes that a handshake should communicate respect, as it is a customary way to greet someone, especially in formal or professional settings.

💡Fist Bump

A fist bump is a form of greeting similar to a handshake but involves lightly tapping knuckles instead of grasping hands. The script mentions fist bumps as an alternative to handshakes, especially in light of medical studies showing they spread fewer germs, thus becoming more common in non-business settings.

💡Grip Pressure

Grip pressure refers to the strength or firmness with which one holds another's hand during a handshake. The video provides guidance on maintaining a balance in grip pressure, avoiding both a limp 'dead fish' handshake and a too-firm 'death grip', to convey assertiveness without aggression.

💡Professionalism

Professionalism is the conduct, approach, or demeanor expected of a professional. The video script relates professionalism to the handshake by suggesting that a proper handshake can leave a positive impression in business environments, reflecting a courteous and confident demeanor.

💡Social Interaction

Social interaction is the process of communication between individuals. The script discusses handshakes as an important part of social interaction, used to convey a range of sentiments from greeting to expressing gratitude, and as a sign of sportsmanship in competitive activities.

💡Proper Times

Proper times refer to the appropriate moments or occasions to perform a certain action. In the context of the video, 'proper times' for a handshake are detailed, such as upon meeting, greeting, parting, or completing an agreement, guiding viewers on when handshakes are customary and expected.

Highlights

Handshakes are an important part of many social interactions.

Handshaking, also known as dexiosis, dates back to the fifth century.

Ancient Greeks practiced handshakes as a gesture of peace.

Handshakes convey trust, respect, balance, and equality.

Handshakes are appropriate upon meeting, greeting, parting, and in sports.

Handshakes are used to greet guests or hosts at a party.

A handshake is good for first-time meetings and with acquaintances.

In the workplace, a hug is no longer appropriate, especially with women.

Some cultures have specific handshakes or don't shake hands at all.

In Russia, a handshake is performed by men but rarely by women.

In China, a softer handshake is preferred and hands are held longer.

In Japan, a formal bow is customary, and handshakes should be soft.

Fist bumps spread fewer germs than handshakes or high-fives.

Proper handshake timing is crucial; wait for the right moment.

When shaking hands, stand up to show courtesy and be at the same level.

Make eye contact and offer a sincere smile during a handshake.

The handshake grip should be firm but not too aggressive.

Shake hands from your elbow to avoid jolting your conversational partner.

Aim for a web touch when shaking hands for proper contact.

Use your right hand for handshakes unless there's a specific reason to use the left.

Keep your left hand visible and not clenched when shaking hands.

Avoid using two hands when shaking with strangers as it can be intrusive.

Ensure your hands are clean before shaking hands.

If you are left hanging after offering a handshake, don't panic.

Mastering the handshake is key to looking courteous and confident.

Transcripts

Welcome back to the Gentleman's Gazette! In today's video, we'll discuss the what,

when, why, and how of handshakes.

♪ Gentleman's Gazette Theme Song ♪ Often seen as part of business deals or other

types of transactions, handshakes are an important part of many a social

interaction but what's the best way to master the handshake? That's the main

question we'll be answering in today's video but as usual, let's start with a

bit of history before we get into mechanics. Archaeological ruins and

ancient texts show that handshaking, also known as dexiosis, was practiced as far

back in history as the fifth century. In particular, shaking hands was a common

custom in ancient Greece and it's depicted in much art from that region

during that time period. One theory about how the handshake originated is that it

was meant as a gesture of peace, given that the hand that was given out to

shake could obviously not hold a weapon. In today's world, the handshake is

commonly performed upon meeting, greeting, parting, offering congratulations,

expressing gratitude, or completing an agreement. In sports or other competitive

activities, you'll also see the handshake performed as a sign of good

sportsmanship. Overall, the purpose of a handshake is to convey trust, respect,

balance, and equality. We've already listed a few situations

where a handshake is appropriate but just in the interest of being thorough,

here are a few others. Greeting guests when you're the host or hostess of a

party or conversely, greeting the host or hostess when you, yourself, are the guest

at a party. Other situations would include saying goodbye when you're

leaving a gathering, meeting in-laws or future family members, or meeting someone

you haven't seen in quite a while. Essentially, a handshake is good to

employ with anyone whom you're meeting for the first time, as well as friends,

family, and acquaintances with whom you feel a

hug or other intimate gesture wouldn't be appropriate. Also, on the topic of hugs,

be aware that as standards of workplace equity have increased, it's no longer

appropriate to greet a woman with a hug especially if she isn't close to you. The

best policy is to simply give everyone a firm and courteous handshake and you

should be good to go and of course, whenever someone else extends their hand

for you to shake, take the opportunity. After all, no one likes to be left

hanging. If, for whatever reason, you do find that you would like to decline a

handshake, be sure to do so politely and courteously. By the way, we've already

done a related video on the proper ways to make introductions and make a good

first impression, you can find our video on that topic, here. More on general

handshake tips in a moment but first here, it's important to note that some

other cultures have specific types of handshakes or don't do handshaking at

all. For example, in Switzerland, it may be expected of you to shake a woman's hand

first. In Russia, a handshake is performed by

men but rarely performed by women. In some countries such as turkey or the

arabic-speaking Middle East, handshakes are not as firm as they typically are in

the West. And also, a grip that is too firm is considered rude in these areas.

In China, a softer handshake is also typically preferred but people shaking

hands often hold on to each other's hands for an extended period after the

initial handshake. Meanwhile in Japan, a formal bow with one's hands open and at

the sides is typically customary. Bowing is also preferred in Korea but when a

handshake is performed, it should be softer initiated, by the senior of the

two individuals, and done without the other hand in one's pocket. Also, it's a

sign of respect in Korea to grasp the right arm with the left hand when two

parties are shaking hands. As a final example here, Masai men in Africa greet

one another by a subtle touch of palms on their hands for a very brief

time. Also, it's important to note that specific organizations have their own

special types of handshakes to subtly communicate between members of those

organizations. Examples of this would include the Scout handshake, typically

performed with the left hand by both Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. And the handshake

of the Freemasons, the specific technique of which is known only to the members of

that exclusive group. And we've got one other semi-related technique to mention

here, the fist bump. Handshakes have been found to spread a few different kinds of

microbial pathogens. For example, some infectious diseases like scabies are

primarily transferred through direct skin-to-skin contact. Medical studies

have also found though that fist bumps spread fewer germs overall than either

handshakes or high-fives do. Probably because they're not involving the palms

of the hands. And now that people are becoming more aware of and sensitive to

these different kinds of germs, fist bumping is becoming more common, if only

in non-business settings. You may not necessarily appreciate the practice if

you prefer a more traditional handshake but if someone extends a fist, you should

go ahead and fist bump using the knuckles of your hand to touch those of

the other person. Okay, with all of the other variations out of the way, let's get

down to business with proper handshakes. You may think there's nothing to a

handshake but in reality, there are a number of technical concerns you should

be aware of to shake hands properly. First is the when. We've already listed the

proper times overall to execute a handshake but specifically within any

one of these social situations, when should you do it? When another person is

speaking or introducing you, wait for them to finish speaking before you offer

your hand. After extending your hand and while shaking, give the other person a

simple greeting, something like "Hi, I'm Preston! It's nice to meet you!" or a

simple "How are you?" could also do. Next, the how. If you're seated, begin

by rising before shaking someone else's hand.

This shows courtesy and also, quite literally, puts you at the same level as

the other person. Remember to make eye contact and offer a sincere smile to

show that you appreciate the introduction. Also, be generally still and

face the other person head-on. After all, you don't want to give them the

impression that you're trying to get away as quickly as possible. If you're

walking, do try to make an effort to stop and face the other person in order to

shake your hand, if it's at all possible. Similarly, don't

approach with an extended hand from behind or to the side of someone, as this

may create an awkward opportunity for your handshake to go unnoticed.

Speaking of unnoticed handshakes, if you are left hanging, don't panic,

we'll get back to mistakes in a moment. Traditional etiquette dictates that the

person in the higher level of authority or age should be the one to take the

lead when executing a handshake. For example, during a job interview, the

interviewer should be the one to offer their hand first, however, if you are in

one of these situations and the senior individual doesn't take the lead, if you

still feel that a handshake would be appropriate, you can take the initiative.

Remember to extend your hand with a smile and a warm comment. Here's a

particularly critical point, grip pressure. You should make sure that your

handshake is firm and not limp. Nobody likes a dead fish handshake,

however, on the flip side, you also don't want to be one of those people that

crushes the other person's hand with a death grip. In other words, your grip

should reflect positively on you, it should communicate that you're not

aggressive or passive but rather assertive. Along these same lines, shake

hands from your elbow, not from your shoulder.

If the force of your handshake is coming from your entire arm, there's a

possibility that you're going to jolt your conversational partner around which

definitely isn't desirable. Regarding the point of contact, you should try to go

for a web touch, which is to say, the webbing between your thumb and index finger

should meet that same point on the other person's hand. Just as nobody likes a

limp handshake, getting a handful of fingers is also equally awkward. Most

people and cultures will use the right hand for a handshake unless they have a

specific reason to use the left such as injury. If you would like to shake hands

with a person who only has a left hand, then obviously, use your left as well. And

a related point, even though you're probably going to be shaking with your

right hand, your left hand should still be visible and it shouldn't be clenched

into a fist. This may come across as hostile in most business situations. Your

left hand should just remain at your side and you shouldn't use it when

shaking with your right to cup the other person's hand or touch their arm. The use

of two hands when shaking hands with strangers is often seen as intrusive and

it can sometimes be referred to as the politicians shake because it's seen as

artificially friendly. One additional note about hygiene here, your hands

should be free of any dirt, grease, food, or debris when shaking hands with

someone. If you suffer from sweaty or clammy hands, make an effort to blot your

hand on your trousers or on a handkerchief before shaking hands with

someone. Conversely, if you happen to shake hands with someone else who has

sweaty palms, don't try to wipe your hand off right

away as this will probably come across as disrespectful. To wrap things up today,

here are a few general etiquette tips on what to do when hand shaking mistakes do

occur. First of all, if you are left hanging, try not to feel too embarrassed

about it. Most likely, the situation wasn't that the person didn't respect

you enough to give you a handshake, it was simply that your timing in the

situation was off. If you do make a mistake with your handshake technique or

timing, simply try again. When you think the time is appropriate, you could maybe

add a bit of self-deprecating humor and of course,

don't forget to smile. So mastering the art of the handshake is key to looking

courteous and confident whether in a business setting or elsewhere. Armed with

all of these tips, you should have any potential situation well in hand.

Also, one more note here today, you can check out our playlist of etiquette

videos, here. In today's video I'm wearing a typical business style outfit that

does have a few colorful elements to it. The main feature of the ensemble is, of

course, the medium blue suit and I've paired it with a pastel blue shirt for a

harmonious color feel. My accessories today are from Fort Belvedere, including

my cufflinks, which are in platinum plated sterling silver in a monkey's

fist knot design. Also, my tie is a relatively new design in the Fort

Belvedere shop. It's a jacquard silk print featuring repeating diamond motifs

in a color we're calling battleship gray. The diamond motifs of the tie are in

black, blue, and an off-white color, which is echoed by my light brown linen pocket

square that has a hand-rolled yellow X-stitch. My small boutonniere is a light

blue Veronica persica, and my socks, also from Fort Belvedere, are incorporating

some warmer tones their shadow-striped socks in navy with a red stripe. Rounding

out the outfit today are my shoes, which are whole cut Oxfords in an ox blood-red color.

♪ Gentleman's Gazette Theme Song ♪