Befriend Yourself | Nivetha Thomas | TEDxOMCH

Summary

Nevada Thomas shares her journey from childhood to adulthood, highlighting the challenges of balancing school and acting career. She discusses her cultural roots, the importance of holistic education, and the support from her school and family. Thomas also reflects on her college experience in architecture, the internal struggles, and how she overcame them. She emphasizes the significance of self-belief, the impact of people in her life, and her aspirations to portray diverse characters in cinema.

Takeaways

• 🕒 The speaker, Nevada Thomas, emphasizes the rapid pace of life and the importance of taking time to reflect on past experiences.
• 🌟 Nevada shares her multicultural background, highlighting the significance of cultural integration and how it shapes her identity.
• 🏫 She discusses the challenges of balancing school and work from a young age, and the support she received from various people in her life.
• 🎓 Nevada reminisces about her school days and how they laid the foundation for her character and personality.
• 🏆 A pivotal moment in her school life was when she received an award for her first film, which was a validation of her hard work and the support of her school.
• 🤔 After finishing high school, Nevada faced the difficult question of what to do next, which she describes as a 'danger zone' that many students experience.
• 🎬 She chose to pursue both acting and studying, which was a challenging decision that required managing her time and energy carefully.
• 🏛️ College life was a significant transition for Nevada, offering new freedoms and responsibilities, and it was a period of intense learning about herself.
• 🏗️ The struggle of studying architecture while acting was taxing, and she had to deal with stress, self-doubt, and the pressure of meeting expectations.
• 💪 Despite the internal struggles, Nevada found strength in the support of her family, friends, and the faith she had in herself.
• 🌐 She believes in the importance of people and interaction, and as an actor, she feels privileged to portray different characters and have a societal impact.

Q & A

What is the main theme of Nevada Thomas' speech?

The main theme of Nevada Thomas' speech is the importance of balancing multiple aspects of life, such as work and education, and the challenges and growth that come from such experiences.

How does Nevada Thomas describe her experience growing up in China City?

Nevada Thomas describes her upbringing in China City as beautiful, but she also emphasizes her strong connection to her homeland Kerala, highlighting her cultural integration and the influence of both places on her identity.

What challenges did Nevada Thomas face in school?

Nevada Thomas faced challenges in school such as attending classes infrequently due to work commitments, the pressure of keeping up with classwork, and the struggle to balance her acting career with her studies.

How did Nevada Thomas' school support her acting career?

Nevada's school was very supportive of her acting career. Her principal, Brother George, was particularly encouraging and even seemed to look forward to her returning to work.

What was the significance of the Kerala State Award for Nevada Thomas?

The Kerala State Award was significant for Nevada Thomas because it was her first film award and it was announced by her principal at school, which made the moment of recognition very special and memorable for her.

Why did Nevada Thomas decide to continue working while studying in college?

Nevada Thomas decided to continue working while studying in college because she had been doing both for most of her life and couldn't imagine choosing just one over the other.

What was Nevada Thomas' major in college?

Nevada Thomas pursued a degree in architecture for five years in college.

What difficulties did Nevada Thomas encounter while studying architecture?

Nevada Thomas struggled with managing minimum attendance, performing well academically, completing designs on time, and balancing her acting career with her studies while studying architecture.

How did Nevada Thomas cope with the stress and challenges during her college years?

Nevada Thomas coped with stress and challenges by finding support in her family, friends, and the appreciation she received for her work in films. She also found strength in her faith and her own self-belief.

What life lessons did Nevada Thomas learn from her experiences?

Nevada Thomas learned the importance of self-belief, the value of constructive criticism, and the acceptance of her own perfection with flaws. She also realized the importance of people and interactions in overcoming life's challenges.

What is Nevada Thomas' dream in terms of her acting career?

Nevada Thomas' dream is to portray different characters and experiences through cinema, aiming to have a positive impact on society without causing harm.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Timeless Dreams and Cultural Roots

Nevada Thomas begins by greeting her audience and reflecting on the fast pace of life, suggesting the need to pause and appreciate past experiences. She shares her background, being raised in China City but with roots in a small village in Kerala, India. She expresses her strong connection to her homeland through her love for its cuisine and people. Nevada also highlights the importance of cultural integration, considering herself equally a Telugu, Malayalee, and Tamilian, which allows her to feel at home anywhere.

05:01

🏫 Balancing School and Stardom

Nevada discusses her challenging journey of balancing school and acting from a young age. Despite attending school infrequently, she cherishes her educational experiences and acknowledges the support she received from her school, particularly from her principal, Brother George. She recalls a poignant moment when she learned about winning her first film award during a school day, which was a turning point in her life, instilling a deep sense of gratitude towards those who supported her.

10:02

🎓 College Life: A Mix of Struggles and Success

The speaker transitions to her college years, where she pursued a degree in architecture while continuing to act. She describes the excitement of college life, the newfound freedom, and the responsibilities that came with it. However, she also faced significant academic challenges, including managing attendance and completing assignments on time. Nevada candidly shares her internal struggles with stress, self-doubt, and overthinking. Despite these challenges, she found strength in the support of her family, friends, and the Telugu film industry's warm welcome.

15:02

🌱 Growth, Self-Acceptance, and the Power of Cinema

Nevada concludes by reflecting on her growth through college, both mentally and physically. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and constructive criticism. She stresses the importance of perseverance, stating that she chose her path and had to see it through despite the difficulties. She also expresses her passion for cinema as a medium to express and explore different characters, aiming to make a positive impact on society. Her message is one of resilience and the belief in one's own strength to overcome challenges.

Keywords

💡Dreams and Aspirations

Dreams and aspirations refer to the ambitions and goals that one holds for the future. In the video, Nevada Thomas mentions her own dreams and aspirations, emphasizing the universal desire for more time to achieve them. This concept is central to the theme of the video, as it reflects the human condition of striving for personal growth and success.

💡Cultural Integration

Cultural integration is the process of blending into a new culture while retaining one's own cultural identity. Nevada discusses her multicultural background, highlighting how she feels equally connected to Telugu, Malayalee, and Tamilian cultures. This concept is important in the video as it showcases the beauty of embracing diversity and the richness it adds to one's life experience.

💡Holistic Education

Holistic education is an educational approach that considers the whole person, including emotional, social, and cognitive development. Nevada credits her school for providing her with a holistic education that helped shape her character and personality. This concept is integral to the video's message about the importance of a well-rounded educational experience.

💡Appreciation

Appreciation in this context refers to the act of recognizing and being grateful for the efforts and achievements of others. Nevada shares a moment when her principal informed her about winning an award, which was a significant moment of appreciation for her. This keyword is tied to the video's theme of acknowledging the support and encouragement received from others in one's journey.

💡Struggle

Struggle denotes the state of facing difficulties and challenges. Throughout the video, Nevada describes her struggles with balancing work and school, as well as the mental and physical exhaustion she experienced. The concept of struggle is a recurring theme, illustrating the challenges one must overcome to achieve their dreams.

💡Validation

Validation is the confirmation or approval of the value or worth of something, often through recognition or praise. Nevada mentions the validation she felt when her teachers and family celebrated her achievements. This keyword is significant in the video as it underscores the importance of external recognition in reinforcing one's self-worth and efforts.

💡Self-Belief

Self-belief is the confidence in one's own abilities and judgments. Nevada emphasizes the importance of having faith in oneself to overcome challenges. This concept is central to the video's narrative, as it highlights the power of self-belief in achieving one's goals.

💡Mental Strength

Mental strength refers to the ability to maintain a positive attitude and overcome obstacles despite adversity. Nevada talks about becoming stronger mentally and physically after facing various challenges. This keyword is key to the video's message about personal growth and resilience.

💡Constructive Criticism

Constructive criticism is feedback intended to help someone improve by pointing out mistakes or areas for improvement. Nevada discusses learning to appreciate constructive criticism, which is a vital part of her growth and development. This keyword is relevant to the video's theme of embracing feedback for self-improvement.

💡Societal Standards

Societal standards are the norms, expectations, and rules that a society establishes. Nevada encourages the audience not to conform to societal standards at the expense of their own happiness. This keyword is significant in the video as it challenges the viewer to live authentically and not be defined by external expectations.

💡Cinema as Expression

Cinema as expression refers to the use of film as a medium to convey emotions, stories, and messages. Nevada shares her passion for cinema and her desire to portray different characters through it. This keyword is central to the video's narrative, as it reflects her personal journey and her chosen medium for self-expression.

Highlights

The speaker, Nevada Thomas, emphasizes the importance of pausing to reflect on past experiences.

Nevada discusses the rapid pace of life and the desire for more time.

She shares her cultural background, being raised in China City with roots in Kerala, India.

Nevada expresses her strong connection to her homeland and love for traditional food.

She talks about the cultural integration that allows her to feel at home anywhere.

Nevada recalls her school days and the challenge of balancing work and education.

She mentions the support she received from her school and the importance of holistic education.

Nevada shares a memorable moment when her principal congratulated her on a film award.

She discusses the struggles of managing school and work, including the physical and mental exhaustion.

Nevada talks about the decision-making process after finishing school and choosing an untrodden path.

She shares her journey through college, studying architecture while continuing to act.

Nevada highlights the internal struggles she faced during college, including stress and self-doubt.

She reflects on the support from her family and the influence of her mother's radical thinking.

Nevada discusses the importance of self-belief and the decision to keep going despite difficulties.

She emphasizes the role of people and interaction in her journey and the importance of an audience for an actor.

Nevada concludes by stating that her life story is not extraordinary but is about perseverance and not quitting.

She expresses her passion for cinema as a medium to voice her expression and portray different characters.

Transcripts

good evening everybody my name is Nevada

Thomas it is really nice to see you all

for a girl with many dreams aspirations

and ambitions the one thing that I was

fighting against was the lack of time

but I think it's safe to say we all wish

we had more of that time as our lives

and everything around us seems to be

moving seems to be like somebody played

a tape recorder press the fast-forward

button and left it that way it's all

moving at such a rapid pace right so it

is only fair to us to pause breathe and

take a moment to think about the past

the good we faced the bad we experienced

but mind you when you move forward and

like the only baggage that you would

want to carry forward should be the good

because it would be an unpleasant case

otherwise as I sat down to think about

how to brainstorm and compile everything

that I wanted to talk about today there

was one moment it was more of the

revelation when I realized if one 23

year old had so many things to talk

about so much to say imagine the kind of

life experiences and stories you would

get to hear from people around the world

it was really exciting to think about it

let me take you through mine now

so I was born and raised in the

beautiful China City but my roots go

back to a small village in it called a

duel in irritating Kerala though I was

raised schooled everything in thumb in

Urdu my connect with my homeland Kerala

is very strong in fact it's as strong as

my love for Kappa fish curry for Emporia

and Shia is there are Mele alleys here

you will know exactly what I'm talking

about it's deep trust more but I think I

am privileged to say I believe that I'm

equally a Telugu am I now as much as I

am a Malayalee

and a Tamilian and this because this

cultural integration is what makes me

call anywhere home and I believe this

cultural integration is is

necessary for us to grow better rolling

back a couple of years now we're getting

into the the topic I'm going to share

with you a couple of my life experiences

what I went through and whatever I am

today is because of all these

experiences I had so I would like to

share it with all of you so rolling back

a couple of yours the word school the

word school resonated with an album to

me like a photo album of Polaroids

flashing in front of my eyes I have very

vivid memories of what school meant to

me I faced the camera first when I was

eight years old and since then believe

it or not I have been to school

sometimes visited school by visit I mean

literally just visited school three or

four times three or four days a month

honestly that's how much I've been there

there are I I think definitely my

teachers must have seen chief guests

repeat themselves to events more than

I've actually been in school but going

to work acting you know on longer

schedules and then coming back to

sitting in class being attentive

completing class works being on par with

where the rest of the class was was very

taxing sometimes I would also want to

give up removing all the makeup before I

fly to bed not the fair I could think

about it or realize you know the the

struggle with all this this had already

become my life so as a kid I remember I

wanted to take a moment to decide on few

things before I proceeded forward I

wanted to draw a line between work and

study that's what I wanted to do it

sounds like a very very simple idea but

trust me when I say this it required a

battalion a battalion of people to

execute I needed my teachers my

principal my friends from workplace my

friends from school my producers my

directors all my technicians and my

family more than anything

and today when I look back and think

about it I have been more than blessed I

feel like I've been blessed more than

required to have had them all in fact my

school was so supportive my principal

brother George was so supportive of me

going to act that the three or four days

that I would go to go to school he would

look at me and be like oh no Bates are

you're here when are you going back to

work I was like let me and my timing was

so off the four or five days are like

that I got to be in school was when I

had my math test

don't even ask me about it I've also

played stunts where I I have fever and I

I want my mom to take me back home just

once but yeah I have done that sadly

school was school was abundant school

was what set my foundation the base of

the base for me was is it's just it's so

strong and I can so happily say that my

character and my personality anything to

deal with the development of my

personality I owe it to my school and I

can't thank or talk enough about the

importance of holistic education that I

received from school this one memory is

so vivid in my mind where the fact that

I the announcement of me receiving my

first ever award for my first film in

Malayalam which is called where the

other barrier I had received a kerala

state award for it and the work the

person I got to know that from was

brother George my principal I was in the

school ground practicing long jump for

something for the sports tape all muddy

and dirty and there's the student who

come says who spells calling you

what do you instantly think I'm like

what did I do now I behave that was okay

did I do something wrong

so from point A to point B that's what

I'm I'm thinking about so I go to his

office and then he turns on the

television tunes into a channel

and he simply said who won so I saw my

name scrolling down with the picture em

honestly that moment it hit me so hard

that rather than feeling accomplished or

satisfied everything around me became

muted it got really quiet and I thought

that appreciation came just at the right

moment in my life when I almost took it

synonymous to wanting to show my

gratitude towards all the people who

helped me get to that point my principal

my family everybody came to my mind at

that point it was just so special and

that episode ended with you know like in

my mind it was like all my teachers from

graduating me and seeing them celebrate

and seeing them feel so joyous about me

achieving something was validation to me

that all that hours and days of hard

work doing what I loved doing was

absolutely worth it so from then on I

was happily studying away till there was

one moment where I I think I can speak

confidently for all of you there's that

one moment in your school life when we

feel something completely brand new this

is exactly after I finished my twelfth

grade which for some reason at this

point in time it feels like a danger

zone that's how it that's how it's made

to be felt like a danger zone when I

cross that that that stayed I was posted

with a very very very difficult question

what next honestly this is how it was in

my mind the room got extremely dark

there's a focus light on you all your

relatives start becoming active again

even distant once your parents are alert

your siblings if you have younger ones a

sister or a brother he or she is

suddenly looking up up at you thinking

what are you going to do who are you

going to be what do you become

what do you want to become who do you

want to be in life look though this is

an exercise just go home and say this

question three times then you'll want to

sit down because I've never been able to

answer this question who do you want to

become what do you want to become in

life

it's an incredibly heavy question which

I feel requires a lot of thinking and a

lot more living to actually figure out

so at that point I had to choose between

walking a trodden path or an untrodden

path either you work in films or you

study something you specialize in some

field and become something but I chose

to walk in between yeah I did back then

I don't know I was just I I remember

telling my parents Amma daddy I want to

I want to work as I'm studying and I

remember them looking at each other and

they were like well if you can manage

then we don't have a problem with it

because honestly this decision was taken

by me honestly because I couldn't

imagine myself doing just one of it

because most of my life I've been

working and studying together so I just

couldn't think about doing choosing one

from that point on everything moved so

fast

it moved literally like this I moved on

from wanting to study aerospace

engineering to joining University to

study five years of architecture don't

ask me how that happened that happened

so when this fairy tale of school life

was just ending the actual picture came

into my life when I started college

College came in like a royal entry it

had a royal entry call it sort of feels

like us going to watch a Rajinikanth

film first day first show you have this

unexplainable hi you don't know what

you're feeling you suddenly feel like an

adult you you know you're given up

you're given a car you can drive

yourself to college

you know school though it's only cycling

and auto man

maybe my van driver who drove me for 14

years and suddenly you have a car

you have a place to park your car and

then you no longer wearing uniforms it's

so exciting you know you you feel like

you're an adult and you have

responsibilities and honestly no money

can ever buy the experiences that I had

or the lessons I learned during college

the five years of me studying an

institution and moving around with the

people there

it taught me more about myself than

anything or anybody could have ever

taught me

College was fun but architecture did not

serve it easy for me or for any of my

classmates for that matter I was visibly

struggling at this point I was I I had a

lot of struggles with having to manage

minimum attendance required to appear

for exams struggling with trying to

trying really hard to perform well

struggling with completely completing

designs on time struggling to be on par

with where the rest of the class was

this was extremely taxing it was but

while also listening to strip readings

and there were a lot of narrations

happening which I would okay at one

point so that I can work on those films

when I had my semester vacation so this

is how my pattern in college life was

all this was happening but the real

struggle was inside me I was constantly

at war with my mind I was struggling

with exaggerated thoughts I was fighting

against stress more than the physical

exhaustion I was fighting against stress

strain fear doubt overthinking

procrastination and also extreme

self-criticism

all these were emotions I was not

prepared to fail

I was not prepared to handle nobody

taught me in school or anywhere to to

learn how to handle these things and all

I would do is sometimes just break down

and cry would that make me feel better

sometimes but not really I would not

know what to do when I was in a point

that way it was extremely difficult now

when I think about that face between

2013 and 2018 happily thinking about it

I also think how did I even get through

how did I get through that at that point

how did I go through from semester to

semester how did I even do that I think

about it and there were a couple of

things that came to my mind was it the

way I was so warmly welcomed into a

whole new industry the Telugu industry

which happened during my second year of

college or was it the kind of

appreciation that I and my team received

for films like gentlemen and then the

quarry and everything that followed

wasn't the radical thinking of my mom

and the constant support she gave me was

it the difficulty with which my father

moved so far away from family to work

for the family earn money for the family

keep us in good shape while he missed us

so much and still worked with so much of

conviction was it seeing my brother live

his life like there's no tomorrow so

happy was it seeing my friends though

they were having struggles of their own

working extremely hard toiling

rigorously to make sure that they

accomplished their dreams while helping

me out - or was it the hand of God that

was constantly there beside me guiding

me through every step of the way and

always whispering in my ears that you're

not alone yes I believe it was all of

this but most importantly it was the

small decision that

I made to have little faith in myself

that I could do it no matter what I

could do it it seemed like a very very

simple idea

but it actually worked

I just thought this is my life I wanted

this I should be prepared from all of

this because I chose this the decision

was mine so no matter how difficult it

gets nobody is going to help you nobody

is going to be able to help you but

yourself so when I pass out of college

honestly I came out I believe I came out

much stronger I came out to be a

stronger person mentally and physically

I started appreciating myself more I

accepted the bodily changes I had

through time I understood the value and

importance of constructive criticism and

I started seeing beauty and flaws

because trust me I realized more than

ever that we are perfect just the way we

are we don't realize it we are perfect

just the way we are and boys and girls

please don't bend your knee to satisfy

societal standards live your life

because that's yours and no matter how

much you wish you got help no matter how

much you wish that this moment just fast

I closed my eyes in this moment just

pass it will never happen because those

things only happen in movies you know

they really don't happen into your life

so as long as you start believing in

believing in yourself these things will

not magically happen and through all

this I realize the importance of people

and the importance of interaction I

needed people you know people are what

people are who made me get through all

this time they helped me a lot every

doctor needs a patient every police

needs a case every climber needs a

mountain every speaker needs an audience

likewise

every actor needs an audience like every

speaker needs a listener every actor

needs an audience and me being an actor

I feel extremely privileged to be able

to be so many different kinds of people

because that is my dream we human beings

are gregarious in nature no man is an

island we cannot live in an in an

alienated society so I believe the

choices I make

I wanted the choices that I make to have

a rippling effect in the society but not

a crippling effect I wanted to make sure

that I am different people that was my

dream that is my dream I want to be so

many different characters I want to have

I want to portray the shades that we all

experience and we wish we experience

from good to the bad to fictional

everything and I all this while

everything that I was saying my life

story is not great my life story is not

extraordinary and I did not do great

things but the only thing that I did and

that I'm happy about is that I just

would not quit I would not want to stop

trying so I want to portray people that

way you know and the medium this is my

dream so the medium I choose to voice

out my expression is cinema and I will

always continue doing that thank you

[Applause]