The Power of Community | Howard Partridge | TEDxTAMU

Summary

The speaker addresses the increasing disconnection in our digital age, where people crave belonging but feel more isolated than ever. He highlights the dangers of being addicted to technology, both in personal and professional life, leading to disengagement. The solution lies in building real, face-to-face communities through support, encouragement, and accountability. True community fosters belonging, personal growth, and stronger relationships. Using real-life examples, the speaker emphasizes that success and happiness come from helping others achieve their goals, overcoming fear, and forming meaningful connections.

Takeaways

• 💡 Every human being has a deep longing for belonging, to feel loved, valued, and accepted.
• 📱 We are more digitally connected than ever, yet we feel more isolated and disengaged in personal and professional lives.
• 📉 Gallup reports that 70% of American workers are disengaged, with 18% actively working against their companies' success.
• 🌍 True community is essential for well-being, involving shared vision, values, and a sense of belonging with others.
• 💪 Support, encouragement, and accountability are the three keys to building strong communities.
• 🚀 Helping others reach their goals and dreams builds stronger connections and a positive community.
• 👏 Encouragement inspires people to overcome their fears and pursue meaningful aspirations.
• 🔍 Accountability in relationships, built on support and encouragement, helps people become who they want to be.
• 🎯 Technology can be helpful, but true human connection and community require face-to-face interaction.
• 🤝 Communities built on support, like the Amish response to tragedy, exemplify the power of true community in difficult times.

Q & A

What is the main message of the speaker's presentation?

The main message is about the importance of building true communities, both in personal and professional settings, to address issues of digital addiction, disengagement, and the longing for belonging that all human beings experience.

How does the speaker describe the relationship between digital connectivity and human isolation?

The speaker highlights that although we are more connected digitally than ever before, many people feel more alone and isolated because technology distracts us from meaningful, in-person interactions.

What personal example does the speaker provide to illustrate digital addiction?

The speaker shares a personal story of being distracted by his phone while watching TV, which led his wife to give him a book titled 'How to Break Up with Your Phone.' This made him realize his addiction to his phone.

What alarming statistics does the speaker mention regarding employee engagement?

The speaker cites a Gallup poll, which reveals that 70% of American workers are disengaged and 18% are actively disengaged, meaning they are working against the success of their companies.

How does the speaker define 'community' in the context of this presentation?

Community is defined as a group of people who feel they belong together, share the same values, vision, and mission, and support each other in personal and professional growth.

What example does the speaker use to emphasize the power of in-person community?

The speaker shares an example of people flying from various places to support someone giving a TEDx talk in person, even though they could have watched the livestream for free.

What are the three keys to building a community according to the speaker?

The three keys to building a community are support (helping others reach their goals), encouragement (helping others overcome fears), and accountability (helping people become the best version of themselves).

How does the speaker explain the concept of accountability in building community?

Accountability is described as helping people become the person they want to be, rather than simply making sure they do their job. It involves fostering relationships and supporting personal growth.

What impact does encouragement have in the workplace, according to the speaker?

Encouragement gives people the courage to pursue things they might be afraid to do, leading to greater engagement, personal fulfillment, and success in both professional and personal goals.

How does the speaker connect the idea of community to the Amish response to tragedy?

The speaker references the Amish community's act of surrounding the widow of a schoolhouse shooter at her husband's funeral to protect her from the media, despite their own loss, as a powerful example of true community support and forgiveness.

Outlines

00:00

📱 The Digital Disconnection Dilemma

The speaker begins by addressing the human need for belonging, highlighting how modern digital connectivity often leads to increased isolation rather than community. He shares a personal anecdote about his own addiction to smartphones and discusses how this detachment extends into the workplace. He emphasizes that disengagement is a growing issue, with 70% of American workers being disengaged and 18% actively working against their companies. The speaker introduces the concept of 'community' as a solution to this problem, offering hope for better engagement in both personal and professional settings.

05:03

🌍 The Power of True Community

The speaker defines community not as a geographical or national entity, but as a group of people with shared vision and values, working together toward a common mission. True community is demonstrated by individuals going to great lengths to support one another. He highlights the limitations of virtual communities, stressing that while technology has its advantages, it cannot replace the physical presence and emotional connection needed for real community. The speaker shares a personal story about the impact of physical community and concludes by reminding the audience of the importance of human touch and face-to-face interactions.

10:06

🎯 Three Keys to Building Community

The speaker introduces three fundamental keys to creating a sense of community: support, encouragement, and accountability. The first key, support, involves helping others achieve their goals and dreams. He explains that by supporting others, individuals can fulfill their own desires as well. He shares an example of a company that transformed its culture by focusing on the personal goals of its employees. The second key, encouragement, is about giving others the courage to overcome their fears. The speaker emphasizes the need for hope in today’s world and provides an inspiring story of a martial arts business that changed its approach to focus on encouraging clients. Finally, accountability is described as the process of helping people become the best version of themselves by nurturing personal development, rather than merely enforcing task completion.

15:08

👥 Accountability and Potential

The final key, accountability, is explored in more depth. The speaker distinguishes between traditional accountability—focused on task completion—and a more human-centered approach, which helps people become who they want to be. He explains how social media and societal pressures contribute to a decline in mental health, particularly among teenagers, who often feel inadequate due to unrealistic standards. He uses a powerful example of a tragic increase in teen suicide to highlight the consequences of disengagement and lack of support. The speaker closes with an emotional story about the Amish community, illustrating the profound impact of true community and compassion, even in the face of tragedy.

Keywords

💡Belonging

Belonging refers to the human need to feel accepted, loved, and valued by others. In the video, the speaker emphasizes that every human has a deep desire for belonging, which is central to our happiness and fulfillment. This need for connection is contrasted with the isolation that many people experience in today's digitally connected world.

💡Disengagement

Disengagement is the state of being mentally or emotionally detached from one's surroundings, tasks, or relationships. The speaker highlights the widespread disengagement in modern life, especially in the workplace, where 70% of workers are disengaged. This concept also appears when describing the young worker distracted by her phone while neglecting her duties.

💡Community

Community in the context of this video refers to a group of people who share values, vision, and a sense of belonging. The speaker promotes the power of true community, where people support and encourage one another, fostering a sense of purpose and connection. It’s presented as the solution to disengagement and isolation, with examples ranging from workplace teams to close-knit groups like the Amish.

💡Support

Support involves helping others achieve their goals and live fulfilling lives. It is one of the three keys the speaker identifies for building a strong community. By supporting others, we can help them reach their potential, which in turn strengthens bonds within the community and fosters collective growth and success.

💡Encouragement

Encouragement is about giving others the confidence to face their fears and pursue their dreams. The speaker presents it as another essential key to building a community, noting that it helps people overcome their internal doubts. For instance, encouraging a child not to quit in martial arts is used as an example of helping someone build confidence.

💡Accountability

Accountability is the concept of being responsible for one's actions, especially within a supportive relationship. The speaker redefines accountability as helping people become the best version of themselves rather than simply ensuring tasks are completed. In true community, accountability is about mutual growth and personal development.

💡Technology Addiction

Technology addiction refers to the overuse of digital devices, such as smartphones, leading to disconnection from the present moment and the people around us. The speaker admits to being addicted to his phone and notes that most people who own smartphones have an unhealthy relationship with them. This addiction impacts both personal and professional lives, contributing to disengagement.

💡Isolation

Isolation in this context refers to the emotional and social separation that people experience despite being more digitally connected than ever. The speaker contrasts the increase in digital communication with the growing sense of loneliness, noting how people often feel more isolated in their personal relationships and work environments.

💡Leadership

Leadership is about influencing others positively, and in the context of this video, it involves creating a sense of community and inspiring engagement among team members. The speaker emphasizes that leaders who foster community will see their teams become more engaged, productive, and loyal, as they feel connected to a greater purpose.

💡Human Touch

Human touch symbolizes the importance of physical, face-to-face interaction in building genuine relationships. The speaker argues that while virtual communities and digital tools have benefits, they cannot replace the emotional connection and sense of support that comes from real-life interactions. The example of giving a hug highlights the deeper connection that in-person interactions provide.

Highlights

Every human being has a longing for belonging, a desire to feel loved, valued, and accepted.

Despite being more digitally connected than ever, people often feel more isolated and alone.

The addiction to smartphones is widespread, and many of us have unhealthy relationships with our devices.

Gallup's employee engagement poll reveals that 70% of American workers are disengaged, and 18% are actively working against their company's success.

The key to solving disengagement lies in fostering a sense of community, which can apply to any role in life—whether in leadership, parenthood, or as a student.

Community is defined as a group of people who feel like they belong together, share the same vision and values, and are on a common mission.

True community can’t be replicated virtually; it requires in-person, face-to-face interaction.

Leaders who create true community have a significant advantage, as engaged employees take better care of customers, leading to greater profits.

Support is the first key to community: helping others reach their goals and dreams.

Encouragement is the second key: helping others do things they are afraid to do, giving them courage to pursue their aspirations.

Accountability, the third key, is about helping others become the person they want to be, fostering personal growth and integrity.

A company in Vancouver transformed its culture by focusing on helping employees achieve their personal goals, leading to a thriving community.

Social media and its impact on self-image, particularly among teenage girls, contributes to a rise in depression and anxiety.

The concept of 'true beauty' is emphasized, reminding individuals, particularly girls, that they are inherently valuable and beautiful.

The Amish community demonstrated the power of true community when they surrounded the widow of the Amish schoolhouse shooter to protect her from the media.

Transcripts

Emily how we doing this morning I have a

question for you all how many of you

would agree with this statement that

every human being has a longing for

belonging that we all want to feel loved

and valued and accepted we want our

lives to have meaning right today we're

more connected digitally than ever

before but we seem to feel more alone

and isolated than ever before how many

of you have been in the same room with

someone and they were paying more

attention to their phone than they were

with you how many of you have been that

person I have in fact not too long ago I

was sitting there watching television

while scrolling through endless YouTube

videos and my wife threw a book under my

lap and it says how to break up with

your phone all right after reading that

book I found out that that I'm addicted

and already knew it by the way and fact

I found out that almost everybody who

has a smartphone is addicted I admit it

I have to break up with my phone and the

truth is is that we all have maybe an

unhealthy relationship with the digital

world and the way that we live our

personal lives seems to bleed over into

our work lives in fact the Gallup

Organization has been doing an ongoing

engagement employee engagement poll that

reveals that 70% of American workers are

disengaged 18% are actively disengaged

which means that they're actually

working against the success of your

company the solution there's what I call

community and what this presentation is

all about is how you can harness the

power of community regardless of what

your role is

in life whether you're in leadership in

a company or an organization or a

non-profit a student a child a parent

you can harness the power of community I

work in the business world so I get to

see this on a regular basis I was

traveling on business to Clearwater

Florida and I was on the tenth floor and

it was early in the morning and I

stepped out on the balcony to have a cup

of coffee and look at the beach and and

just look at the beauty and I noticed

that down below on the ground floor

there was a young lady who was supposed

to be washing off the sidewalk she was

supposed to be getting all the sand off

of a sidewalk where the garden hose and

the reason that I knew that is that she

had it's because she had a garden hose

in her left hand but she had something

else more compelling in a right hand and

that was her phone yeah

she was completely disengaged in fact

that water hose kept drifting off into

the bushes as she scrolled on her phone

and then she had realized that and she'd

bring it back to where it needed to be

meanwhile people are going out to the

beach that needed sunscreen they needed

towels they needed beach chairs they

needed all these kinds of things

completely disengaged ABC's 20/20 did a

special a few years ago that rebuild how

employees quit their jobs and flamboyant

ways one guy had a marching band follow

him into the manager's office to quit

his job I mean we're talking about two

boys we're talking about we're talking

about horns drums I mean this was an

experience let me tell you and he filmed

the entire thing of course then it was

on 20/20 another guy walks into a

crowded lunchroom at the company and he

stands up on it on a table and gets

everybody's attention and opens his

shirt to reveal in huge black letters

I quit everybody cheered another study

revealed that the average employee would

forego a 20% raise in order to get their

manager fired think about that for a

second this is 35 let's say of year if

you're making thirty five thousand

dollars a year that's seven thousand

dollars a year plus compounding interest

that's a lot of money we have a problem

today and that problem is an engagement

problem we're engaged digitally more

than ever before but we need true

communities so what is community anyway

in this sense it's not a neighborhood or

nationality although that's important

but in this sense it's a group of people

who feel like they belong together every

human being on planet earth has a

longing for belonging we want to belong

to something that means something we

want to be part of a group that's going

somewhere that's adding value to other

people a community is a group of people

who have the same vision they have the

same values they're on the same mission

together true community you know that

you're in true community with someone

when they'll get up in the middle of the

night for you for any reason you know

that you're in true community with

someone when they'll fly all the way

from why shouldn't state to be here to

watch someone to support someone when

they're going to do a TEDx talk I was

talking with some folks some of the

other speakers and they had several

people that came from distances and I'm

blessed to say that as well that people

have come from all over to support this

in person when they could watch it they

could watch the livestream for free

you guys did know that right that you

could be watching the livestream for

free right now don't leave

my wife was in the car we drove up here

we turned on the live stream for a

little while and watched some of it as

we were driving up here from Houston

this morning and don't do that if you're

by yourself all right

okay you talk a lot about a virtual

community but a virtual community in my

mind is an oxymoron virtual community

and Technology have done some wonderful

things for us the fact that we could

livestream this driving down the road in

fact I told my wife when I get a Tesla

it's going to drive itself and that way

I can text while I drive legally right

and watch movies and work but the point

is is that we've done some amazing

things with technology the the fact that

a soldier in Afghanistan can watch his

baby being born in in live time via

Skype it's amazing but there's something

that you cannot do over the Internet in

fact there's quite a few things that you

can't do over the Internet see true

community requires the human touch in

fact Hayden come over here here's one

thing that you can't do online very

effectively give me a hug

mrs. Hayden y'all and he wanted to say

hi to mom and dad say hi to mom and dad

right and you bet these guys have done

an amazing job and putting this together

these students have worked around the

clock to make this possible for all of

us you know a virtual hug just isn't the

same is it you get a different kind of

endorphin don't you so real community

true community happens in person face to

face there's something about social

media there's something about the

Internet there's something about there's

so much information and so much

knowledge and and so much that we can

engage in but I'm afraid that you know

one we're forgetting about our personal

relationships and the ones that we truly

love but also how much good news do you

really hear today via the media every

day it's another shooting another terror

attack another accident of some kind

every day and that's just the beginning

it repeats the news speed gives you more

and more and more and more information

all throughout the day 24 hours a day

seven days a week

see I learned something from my mentor

the great the late great Zig Ziglar you

are what you are and where you are

because of what has gone into your mind

you can change what you are and where

you are about changing what goes into

your mind phenomenal leaders and by the

way everyone's a leader if you influence

someone else and we all do we're all

leaders phenomenal leaders inspire their

teams while their customers that make

bigger profits in our businesses today

and our universities today in our

organizations today leaders who

understand this concept of creating

community and building community and

understand where people really are today

have a tremendous advantage and how many

of you know that when team members

inspired they're engaged they're in the

game that they're going to take really

good care of the customer is that true

and when the customer is taking care of

that

we're gonna have bigger outcomes we're

going to have better profits so that we

could take better care of our people so

I'd like to share with you it turns out

that building community and creating a

sense of community around us in our in

our local areas and in our companies and

and in our churches even and and all the

spaces that were in it turns out that

there are three simple keys that we if

we would just all do these three simple

things we would all be better off so in

order to create a sense of community it

requires three things number one the

first key is called support and that is

helping others have the life that they

want to have helping others reach their

goals and dreams see the key is is to

help other people reach their goals and

dreams my mentor also said that you can

have everything in life you want if you

just help enough other people get what

it is that they want what do people want

we all want want to be happy we want to

be healthy we want to be at least

reasonably prosperous we want to have

friends we want to have good family

relationships we want to have peace we

want to have hope for the future we want

to be secure all of us do and we can all

have that when we help other people get

that there's a company in Vancouver

Washington that realized the power of

community they had a great company in

fact they made really good profits and

and the company was going really really

well except for one thing the narrative

the culture was all about the next

transaction there in credit card

processing and it was all about the next

transaction the next sale the the number

of clients that we haven't noticed good

it was a good business but today it's a

phenomenal business because they learned

one simple thing they weren't learn one

secret and that is

help their team members reach their

goals of dreams everything changed and

now they have this phenomenal culture of

community is what I call it the second

key is encouragement and encouragement

is helping others do the things that

they're afraid to do we all are afraid

to do something right there's something

that we're afraid of we all have fear of

some kind or another is that true maybe

the people around you are afraid to

write that book they're afraid to run

that marathon they're afraid to take

that promotion they're afraid to maybe

really pursue their dream and this is

why so many people are disengaged and

don't feel like they have meaning today

is because they haven't been released to

go and pursue the things that they

really want to pursue encouragement is

giving others courage that's building

the heart again Zig Ziglar said that

encouragement is the fuel on which hope

runs how many of you would agree that we

need more hope in our world today

there's a global leadership crisis

there's there's the prospects of war

there's all this bad news there's all

this fear we need more hope and we can

encourage one another by helping others

do the things that maybe they're afraid

to do a good example of this is senior

Grand Master Brenda Jay sell now Jones

okay so that wasn't enough names and

Brenda J sell is a ninth dan and take

one dough now is here yesterday doing

the run-through and I was getting the

feedback and someone said I think it's

tight Wanda I know the highest ranking

female in the world it's take one dough

all right and by the way you don't mess

with her if she says this take one dough

guess what it is take one dough

well her late husband started this this

martial arts training business and they

were so harsh and so hard on their

clients and training in martial arts

that most of them quit and they felt

like that was a badge of honor that man

they quit that means that we're tough

we've got the right program but how many

of you know that that's not a very good

business model when your customers are

quitting all the time so they decided to

have a new approach and the new

approaches will encourage people will

tell these kids you can do this don't

quit you can do this don't quit you can

do this that's encouragement and because

of that her late husband became a legend

in that industry she's a living legend

she's inspired so many people around the

world

the third key is accountability and

accountability is not the kind of

accountability that you see practiced in

so many organizations today where it's

do your job

did you get your job done did you do

your job how many of you know that all

business and all of life is about

relationships all of business and all of

life is about relationships and how many

of you know that people will be more

willing to enter into a relationship of

accountability that's built on support

and encouragement I love the social

media meme because accountability in my

mind is becoming the person that you

want to be accountability is helping

people be the person they need to be how

many of us want to be a better person we

all do we all want to have more

character we all want to have more

integrity we all want to be better I

love the social media me and the kittens

looking in the mirror and sees a lion

see that represents your potential you

have more potential than you realize did

you know that The Wall Street Journal

recently did a study and that that child

suicide

it's had doubled in the last decade

what if employers what if leaders what

if educators what if everyone in our

institution realized the challenges that

young people are going through right now

the biggest group teenage girls they

look at the images on their screens and

they think to themselves I can never

look live up to this I can never look

like that so we modify our pictures so

that we look better to everyone else

girls were trying so hard to be pretty

that they forget that they're beautiful

and the truth is is that every single

human being is beautiful every human

being is designed for accomplishment

engineered for success and endowed with

the seeds of greatness I'll close with

this Louie mondo is the widow of the

Amish schoolhouse shooter from several

years ago and if there's a there is no

greater picture representation of

community than the Amish people at her

husband's funeral the Amish community

came around her and created a human

shield a circle around her so that the

media couldn't get to her these are

people whose daughters whose sons had

been murdered that is true community

thank you very much

you