Dad Jokes | Don't laugh Challenge | Best Moments 2 | Raise Your Spirits
Summary
TLDRThe transcript captures a stand-up comedy show filled with a variety of jokes, including light-hearted and edgy humor. The comedian playfully tackles subjects like relationships, gingers, and cultural stereotypes with a mix of laughter and groans from the audience. Amidst the humor, the performer shares personal anecdotes and engages the crowd with interactive jokes, showcasing the comedian's wit and ability to connect with the audience through laughter.
Takeaways
- đ The script is a transcript of a comedy show filled with jokes and laughter.
- đ€ It includes a variety of jokes about mechanics, gingers, Boy George, and more, showcasing the comedian's humor.
- đ The comedian uses self-deprecating humor about being fired from a keyboard factory for not putting in enough shifts.
- đ There's a recurring theme of inappropriate or edgy jokes, which are met with both laughter and groans from the audience.
- đ The comedian also makes jokes about current events and pop culture, such as Michael Jackson and 9/11.
- đ€ There's a segment where the comedian pretends to be a character in a live-action Winnie the Pooh movie, highlighting his acting aspirations.
- đ€ The script features audience interaction, with the comedian engaging with the crowd and even doing shots with them.
- đ The comedian makes a joke about getting a forklift license to make eating salad easier, showing his self-awareness about unhealthy habits.
- đ The script includes a series of one-liners and puns, many of which are related to race and ethnicity, pushing the boundaries of political correctness.
- đ” There are several music cues throughout the script, indicating that the comedian uses music to punctuate his jokes or transition between segments.
- đ The comedian makes a joke about a friend injured in the military, which falls flat and is met with an awkward silence, showing the risks of edgy humor.
Q & A
What is the joke about mechanics and their girlfriends?
-The joke is that a mechanic has a girlfriend because he has two clean fingers, implying that the rest of his fingers are dirty from his work.
What is the punchline of the joke about Boy George and the lizard enclosure?
-The punchline is that Boy George was banned from the lizard enclosure because he can't keep his 'hands' off them, which is a play on words implying inappropriate behavior.
What is the joke about Cinderella at the ball?
-The joke is that Cinderella's response when she got to the ball was laughter, as indicated by 'hahaha', suggesting she found something amusing there.
What is the humor in the joke about the old boy before and after church?
-The humor lies in the punchline 'before', implying that the old boy is too old to 'fight' after church, suggesting a decline in his vigor.
What is the context of the joke about getting fired from the keyboard factory?
-The joke is about being fired for not putting in enough 'shifts', which is a pun on the keyboard keys and work shifts, suggesting laziness or lack of effort.
What is the punchline of the joke about the doctor calling about herpes?
-The punchline is the doctor telling the patient they have herpes, and the patient thanking the doctor, which is a dark humor twist on a typical bad news scenario.
What is the joke about the American metric system?
-The joke is that Americans don't use the metric system because they have a 'foot fetish', which is a humorous and stereotypical jab at American units of measurement.
What is the humor in the joke about the ginger at a party?
-The humor is in the punchline that gingers miss the most at a party is 'the invitation', implying that they are often excluded or overlooked.
What is the setup and punchline of the joke about the wide mouth frog?
-The setup is the wide mouth frog asking other animals what they eat, and the punchline is when he meets a snake that eats wide mouth frogs, to which the frog replies, 'oh, don't see many of those around here', showing surprise or denial.
What is the joke about the difference between women and cars?
-The joke is that men have been in both but treat one better than the other, implying that men take better care of their cars than their relationships.
What is the context of the joke about the nightclub for guys with erectile dysfunction?
-The joke is that the nightclub was a 'flop' and 'nobody came', which is a play on words implying both failure and the inability to achieve an erection.
Outlines
đ Stand-up Comedy Jokes
The paragraph features a stand-up comedy routine with jokes about various topics. The comedian starts with a joke about a mechanic's clean fingers, followed by a punchline about a 'tennis ball.' The set continues with humor about curing a ginger, a play on words with Boy George and a lizard enclosure, and a series of other jokes that include a mix of innuendos and light-hearted humor. The comedian also shares a personal anecdote about getting fired from a keyboard factory for not putting in enough shifts and ends with a self-deprecating joke about privacy and a diary.
đ Humor and Cultural References
This paragraph continues the comedy routine with jokes that touch on American culture, such as the metric system and a foot fetish, followed by a light-hearted comment about being 'turned on.' The comedian then dives into a series of jokes about gingers, a programmer for autocorrect, and a play on words about unemployment in Alabama. The humor is edgy, with a joke about a wide-mouth frog and various animals that ends with a cat eating wide-mouth frogs. The segment concludes with more self-deprecating humor about the comedian's inability to hold eye contact with women.
đ Jokes with a Twist
The comedian's set includes jokes that play on stereotypes and expectations. A comparison between women and cars leads to a punchline about treatment. There's a quick jab about gingers missing invitations to parties, followed by a joke about a cat and a hookah. The comedian then shares a controversial joke about a music teacher that elicits laughter but is acknowledged as being in poor taste. The set continues with jokes about social workers and God, ending with a light-hearted punchline about two AI systems in love.
đ€Ł Dad Jokes and Personal Anecdotes
The paragraph contains a mix of dad jokes and personal stories. The comedian discusses the passing of their father and how it relates to the timing of jokes, followed by a self-deprecating joke about being cold and a racist comment from their father. There's a joke about a nightclub for men with erectile dysfunction and a therapist's comment about autism. The set includes more edgy humor about a gingerbread man in the war and ends with a joke about sign language and a suggestive punchline.
đ Racism and Satire
This paragraph delves into edgier humor, with jokes that touch on race and stereotypes. The comedian starts with a joke about The Jetsons being black, followed by a self-deprecating joke about being a gorilla. There are also jokes about elephants and peanuts, a forklift license, and 9/11. The set includes a controversial joke about Michael Jackson's pronouns and ends with a racist joke about a ginger's phone ringing on a Saturday night.
đ Dark Humor and War Jokes
The comedian's routine in this paragraph includes dark humor and references to war. A joke about an Asian individual and stairs is followed by a punchline about Wi-Fi on a farm and cows downloading music. The set continues with a joke about Russian Roulette and ends with a racist joke about a marriage between different races. The comedian also shares a joke about an individual's inability to swim and a punchline about a bus full of people. The paragraph concludes with a joke about sweaty breasts and a comment about using humor to deal with sensitive topics.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄMechanic
đĄGinger
đĄBoy George
đĄCinderella
đĄAutocorrect
đĄRacism
đĄJokes
đĄStereotypes
đĄControversial Humor
đĄSelf-deprecation
đĄPunchline
Highlights
Joke about a mechanic having two clean fingers
Humor about a ginger needing chemotherapy
Boy George banned from the lizard enclosure joke
Cinderella's arrival at the ball humorous take
Joke about an old boy's behavior before and after church
Firing from a keyboard factory for not putting in enough shifts
Ex-partner's privacy issue revealed in her diary
Doctor's call about herpes as a humorous situation
Why Americans don't use the metric system
Programmer for autocorrect getting fired for no reason
Joke about reducing unemployment in Alabama
Parkinson's disease joke about a wobbly table
Holding eye contact difficulty due to women's physical attributes
Stick and uncle Dinesh joke
Wide mouth frog meeting different animals and their eating habits
Difference between women and cars humorous comparison
Ginger missing the party invitation
Pedo music teacher joke
G-string and fingering a minor joke
How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb
Joke about making God cry by being Ginger
Joke about a nightclub for guys with erectile dysfunction
Alan's next film role in a live-action Winnie the Pooh movie
Gingerbread man losing his leg in a war joke
Elephants and peanuts humor
Joke about getting a forklift license
Joke about 9/11 and 7-Eleven
Joke about an Indian girl hitchhiking
Cutting off Wi-Fi at the farm due to cows downloading music
Russian Roulette safety joke
Marriage issue with a white woman and a mother's disapproval
Transcripts
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
[Laughter]
how do you know a mechanic has a
girlfriend
how he has two clean fingers
[Laughter]
no that was good it was good yeah it was
good
for me
is that what you call your vagina a
tennis ball
weird
I don't I don't understand that all
right
I'll take a show
okay
how do you cure a ginger
chemotherapy
that's very funny that is very funny
thanks I like that you should tell that
on Spanish
I don't do jokes on stage oh no I know
my love [Â __Â ] cheers
cheers
why was
boy
no
no uh why was Boy George Bend
well I was Boy George banned from
that's a lot it's a drink hold on why
was Boy George band from the lizard
enclosure
[Laughter]
yeah because he can't become a captain
[Laughter]
[Applause]
[Laughter]
[Applause]
that was good
I wrote that about an hour ago
[Laughter]
I had so much trouble getting that one
up
what did uh Cinderella do when she got
to the ball
hahaha
[Laughter]
oh yes
oh man that's good
fill me up
[Laughter]
how does an old boy fought before and
after church
before
what about after
[Laughter]
oh
I'm [Â __Â ] sorry okay that's [Â __Â ]
funny as [Â __Â ]
can you do the second one
all right okay I'll do it I'll do a
clean one next I uh I got fired from my
job at the keyboard Factory
they said I wasn't putting in enough
shifts
oh
that's really
that's [Â __Â ] but
That's my kind of gag yeah well done I'm
just gonna pour this for you just in
case I do make you laugh at some stage
that's all right
did you know that my uh ex dumped me
because she didn't think I gave her any
privacy
can you believe that no I can't believe
that that's what it said in her diary
[Laughter]
best newcomer
[Laughter]
what do you what do you call a
[Music]
[Laughter]
uh it's your doctor calling uh you've
got herpes
hello
hello
what
you've got herpes thank you so much
you're welcome
you also loved
why don't Americans use the metric
system
why because they have a foot fetish
call me American
[Laughter]
I laugh when I'm turned on
what does a ginger do
what does a ginger do what he wants to
high-five a friend
he claps
[Laughter]
that's pretty good
[Music]
you know I used to work as a programmer
for autocorrect
oh yeah
they fried me for no reason
but yeah
they fried me for no reason is what I'm
trying to get out
okay
[Laughter]
how do you reduce unemployment in
Alabama
you open a bunch of Subway restaurants
because they are really good at making
things inbred
[Laughter]
Sweet Home Alabama
racist that was racist
this is wobbly
the Parkinson's
what is
how are you I'm good what is this yeah
this is the closest I've been to a woman
we literally hugged like 10 minutes it
was very scary
okay
um I actually have
a hard time holding eye contact with
women
because boobies don't have eyes
you're doing a great job right now
was that a dad joke are we starting oh
yeah that was just me talking okay you
can start I don't have to you can tell
another one if you'd like are you really
uncomfortable at the moment no I am
I was sitting on a rock
dude
[Laughter]
what is uh brown and sticky
what
a stick
and my uncle Dinesh
[Laughter]
that was good
really good
um so there's a wide mouth frog and he
is meeting a bunch of other animals and
he goes up to them he says hi I'm a wide
mouth Frog who are you and what do you
eat
and it sees an L who says I'm an owl and
I eat mice and he goes oh lovely he
walks off to another animal and he goes
hi I'm a wide mouth Frog who are you and
what do you eat
he says well I'm a grasshopper I eat
dirt grass bugs
and it goes lovely and he walks on to
another guy and he says hi I'm a wide
mouth Frog who are you and what do you
eat
I sucked the joke up a little bit but
we'll keep going
that one's a cat and the cat says
this counts
I'm not finished
sorry
okay guys
so it goes on to the next guy and he
says hi who are you and what do you eat
and he says I'm a snake and I eat wild
mouth frogs he goes oh don't see many of
those around here
I'm sorry
you have to do a shot
I don't know what happened it was a
journey it was
hahaha
I apologize no you gotta sorry that's
good it's a good joke it's a little
structured look there's different ways
to approach there's different ways to
approach this that's good thank you
thank you
what's the difference between women and
cars
I don't want to say anything good cool
uh men have been in both but they treat
one way better than the other the woman
right obviously
[Laughter]
if I lose
what do gingers miss most at a great
party
what the invitation
that's
that's true that's right I'm sorry to
hear that no it's okay I was a brunette
and my teen years it's wait that makes
it sound like that's the only time you
party it has been a while actually now
that I think of it yeah it's looking
kind of like a blonde but oh no oh
Fair uh
what do you call a cat oh yeah drink up
buddy
what do you call a hookah
sex worker
well I'm gonna do a different one no do
that one do that one no we're doing a
good job these days as well
Abby news
I'm sorry sorry I'm so sorry
you take repeat
what yeah
I know
okay
if you hear about the pedo music teacher
[Laughter]
I don't give a [Â __Â ] hey
hey
tell a clean one okay yeah all right
okay
okay
oh [Â __Â ]
yeah the one who broke a g-string while
fingering a minor a minor
the one who broke a g string well finger
in a minor that's the punch line
oh [Â __Â ] it did
I wrote it with a [Â __Â ] Capital be
like well the joke is the key
oh you didn't even get your own joke dog
yeah dog I got that one off the net
though okay how about this
how many social workers does it take to
change a light bulb how many only one
but the light bulb has to really want to
change
how do you make God cry be Ginger
[Laughter]
drink up
thank you I have a really uh bad joke to
go with the rest what do you call two AI
systems that are in love with each other
what members of the chat LGBT community
Ah that's probably your best ones those
are oh yeah well done
yeah that's
okay
[Laughter]
it is of the chat LGBT community yeah
that's not bad gonna buy it off I'll
give it to you yeah
why can't you can't
why can't you keep score
in Afghanistan
why because of the Taliban
those crazy afghans
when does a joke become a dad joke
when when it died five years ago
so context my dad died five years ago
it's funny it's funny
yeah just like let me like down with
that one thanks dude Jesus by the way
these bottles are really hard to pour oh
I uh I told my dad I was cold the other
day
and he's like go stand in the corner
it's 90 degrees
and you're ugly
you brown piece of [Â __Â ]
and the smell on you
that really escalated yeah my dad was a
drinker as well
what did your father drink bamboo Lassie
hello
[Laughter]
[Applause]
stay out of me
[Applause]
it's my time all right
so Alan's actually an actor
his next film is in the live-action
Winnie the Pooh movie
the Studio's Gonna Save a lot of money
because they don't have to paint him
yellow
[Laughter]
I smell and I'm Brown
all right sorry you did Rose joke so I
wanted to get you back
I started a nightclub
I started a nightclub
[Laughter]
nothing wrong with you
I have a segment where you go to therapy
gee
it's quiet
do you have autism he definitely does
you know I I started at our club for
guys with erectile dysfunction
it was a total flop and nobody came
[Music]
yeah the penis stuff's satisfying
sorry Rory I love to buy a joke do we
have to drink when you laugh at your own
job yeah
a piece of [Â __Â ] sorry this is we didn't
laugh yeah
yeah
these two are [Â __Â ] us up yeah cheers
we should have been do you want to swap
teams yeah can we make it more diverse
yeah what's up with this apartheid yeah
did you hear about the gingerbread I'm
gonna be on this I ran out of ginger
jokes these are gingerbread man jokes
not gonna lie I'll take them
oh that's so worth the shot
but uh talking about that sort of sort
of material did you hear about the
gingerbread man who was uh fought in the
War
he uh he lost his leg in nom
it was called a Limp Biscuit
[Laughter]
do you know sign language
no you should learn it it's pretty handy
your mother gave me a handy
she told me about that she said it was
should have said it was very short
it's because she has big hands
what would the Jetsons be called if they
were black
[Music]
the first word that came into my mind
what
[Laughter]
The Jetsons you [Â __Â ] racist
I have a little bit let's see if you
like this
I'm not gay
I'm a [Â __Â ] gorilla okay take me
seriously okay
[Laughter]
did you pay 200 for that
you're worth we're the same brother
oh my God
um
[Laughter]
[Laughter]
thank you
come on
[Laughter]
trying to explain why that's fun
see someone gets it it's funny because
oh [Â __Â ] are you a griller exhibit
because I want to drop a baby in you
[Applause]
[Â __Â ]
he's got action
I also didn't laugh so I don't know why
a lot of stupid people think that
elephants eat peanuts they actually this
gorilla dick
[Laughter]
[Music]
um
I got my forklift license last week
really yeah it's gonna make it eating a
salad way easier
I don't eat salads I can tell
[Laughter]
okay
that's funny
I hope that hurt yeah yeah
um
later we get to 9 11. shall we say all
right
Saturday's 7-Eleven jokes
nice
one of Michael Jackson's pronouns
I also brought that same joke and he
comes up to me goes let me do it I've
been practicing The Voice
hahaha
okay do it again you've practiced it do
it again I got a new iPhone for my
girlfriend
All Things Considered those are pretty
good trade
[Laughter]
I hate rum I'm gonna get violent and I
might
[Laughter]
oh are you a racist
what do you call it when a Ginger's
phone rings on a Saturday night
a wrong number
[Laughter]
oh [Â __Â ]
what do you call an Indian girl that
went hitchhiking
Miss sing
missing where are you
looking
wow the accent I'd love to tell you a
little story I had a friend come back
from active duty recently right he was
on the wall and he came back early
because his vehicle hit one of those
hidden explosives
I know what they're called but it's it's
nuts he's in the hospital his feet have
been blown apart right and I went to
visit him and he's he's like got a
blanket over his feet and he's trying to
show me trying to show me how bad it is
I was like begging him please
please don't like don't you know I'm
lactose intolerant
wow
that that joke took so long it became a
granddad
okay
[Laughter]
I threw an Asian down the stairs the
other day mm-hmm
it was Wong on so many levels
[Laughter]
why did they cut off the Wi-Fi at the
farm
why because the cows kept downloading
music
[Laughter]
you said [Â __Â ] yeah right
I didn't get that before but no that
makes more sense
I can't win them all right
you said music
uh you laughed a little bit there are
you gonna do a shot oh okay
we're having fun here aren't we yeah
just a couple of tick tock superstars
there's a couple of fellas did you know
five out of six people agree that
Russian Roulette is safe
why
[Laughter]
[Music]
this is fun
is this like a date is this kind of like
a date I don't know I've never been on
one fair enough
um
all right the ranged marriage is not
going well
my mum would never approve of a white
woman hey
waterproof
even
I have to be honest what's yellow and
can't swim
my punchline's not gonna beat that but
um a Bus full of people
Alan Ellen
what do you call sweaty boobs
humidities
yeah humidity yeah
oh [Â __Â ] all right it was you got what I
was going with that
can you use Ken honestly can you use any
of that well I'll figure it out
no that's great
[Laughter]
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