It's a Choice

Summary

In this reflective video, the speaker discusses the concept that emotions like anger and depression are choices, albeit not always easy ones. They use sports analogies to illustrate that while it's theoretically possible to control these feelings, it often requires practice and effort. The speaker acknowledges that in extreme situations, these emotions might feel inevitable, but in everyday life, recognizing them as choices can be empowering. They also touch on the idea that anger often masks deeper emotions like fear or sadness, suggesting that self-awareness and emotional management are crucial for personal growth.

Takeaways

• 🤔 Anger and depression are often perceived as choices, though they don't feel like it due to external circumstances.
• 👐 The concept of 'choice' can be misleading as it oversimplifies the complexity and effort required to change one's emotional state.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Overcoming negative emotions is not an instantaneous process but requires consistent effort and practice.
• ⚽️ The analogy of scoring a difficult goal in sports illustrates that while it may be challenging, it's theoretically possible with enough practice.
• 🧠 Remembering that emotions are a choice can be empowering, but it's also crucial to acknowledge the difficulty of making such a choice in certain situations.
• 😢 It's important to differentiate between situations where the emotional response is almost inevitable, like the death of a child, and those where it's more a matter of personal choice, like losing a job.
• 🧘‍♂️ The speaker shares a personal experience of choosing to meditate to overcome anger, highlighting the active role we play in our emotional responses.
• 🤯 The speaker acknowledges that sometimes we make the 'wrong' emotional choice due to lack of training or willpower, indicating a need for self-improvement.
• 🚗 The discussion on anger suggests that it's often a surface-level emotion that can mask deeper feelings like fear or sadness.
• 🤝 The script touches on the idea that anger can be a defense mechanism, protecting us from more vulnerable emotions, drawing parallels to narcissistic behavior.
• 🐌 The speaker humorously interjects personal anecdotes, like accidentally killing snails and a conflict with a dog, to lighten the mood and add relatable elements to the discussion.

Q & A

What is the main theme discussed in the transcript?

The main theme discussed in the transcript revolves around the idea that emotions such as anger and depression are choices, and how acknowledging this can be both challenging and empowering.

Why does the speaker say that anger and depression being choices can be contentious?

The speaker acknowledges that it can be contentious because it might seem to imply that people choose to feel these negative emotions, disregarding the external circumstances that contribute to them.

How does the speaker describe the process of choosing not to be angry or depressed?

The speaker describes it as not an instantaneous choice but a concerted effort that often requires long-term practice and mental training.

What sports analogy does the speaker use to illustrate the concept of emotional choice?

The speaker uses the analogy of scoring a difficult free kick in football, explaining that while it's theoretically possible for anyone to do it, it requires a lot of practice and skill.

What does the speaker mean when they say emotions are 'choices' in the context of losing a job?

In the context of losing a job, the speaker suggests that while it's natural to feel upset, the extent of one's reaction and the ability to move on is a choice that requires mental fortitude and resilience.

Why does the speaker say that reminding oneself that emotions are a choice can be useful?

The speaker believes it can be useful because it shifts the focus from external circumstances to personal control, which can empower individuals to manage their emotional responses more effectively.

What does the speaker suggest about the nature of anger as compared to other emotions?

The speaker suggests that anger is often a surface-level emotion that can be a substitute or a way of avoiding deeper emotions like fear, sadness, or humiliation.

How does the speaker relate anger to the concept of ego?

The speaker relates anger to the ego by suggesting that egoic responses, including anger, are often a defense mechanism to protect oneself from vulnerability or feelings of being threatened.

What personal realization does the speaker share about their own experiences with anxiety?

The speaker shares that they realized their anxiety was a choice and by accepting this, they were able to take control and reduce its impact on their life.

What advice does the speaker give for dealing with anger?

The speaker advises practicing self-control and mental training to deal with anger, similar to how one would train for a physical task like scoring a free kick.

How does the speaker's encounter with a dog reflect their discussion on emotions?

The speaker's encounter with a dog that dislikes them serves as a metaphor for how past experiences can trigger strong emotional reactions, and the need to manage those reactions through choice and self-control.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Understanding Emotional Choices

The speaker begins by contemplating the idea that emotions like anger and depression are choices, acknowledging that this notion might seem controversial because emotions often feel imposed by external circumstances. They clarify that the term 'choice' might be misleading, as it suggests an easy, instant switch from negative to positive feelings, which is not the case. The process is more about a deliberate effort and practice over time. Using the analogy of scoring a difficult goal in sports, they explain that while it might be improbable for an average person, it's theoretically possible with enough practice. The speaker emphasizes that emotions are ultimately within one's control, even if choosing a different emotional response can be very challenging.

05:01

😢 The Nuances of Emotional Responses

In the second paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the concept by discussing extreme emotional situations, such as the death of a child, where the idea of choice seems absurd. They contrast this with less innate situations like job loss or divorce, where the choice of emotional response might be more applicable, though still very difficult. The speaker shares personal experiences of struggling with anger and the conscious decision to meditate as a counteraction, only to be overcome by the intensity of the emotion. They reflect on the idea that emotional responses can be trained like a muscle, and it's important to hold oneself accountable for making better emotional choices, even when it's hard.

10:02

🤯 Decoding the Complexity of Anger

The third paragraph focuses on the complexity of anger, suggesting it's often not a singular emotion but a mix of fear, humiliation, and other feelings. The speaker uses the example of road rage to illustrate how anger can encompass various emotional reactions to a single event. They propose that anger is sometimes a surface-level emotion that masks deeper feelings and can act as a defense mechanism, especially for those with narcissistic tendencies. The speaker also touches on the idea that most people have elements of narcissism to varying degrees and that it's a trait rather than a defining characteristic.

15:05

🐌 Encounters with a Hostile Canine

In this paragraph, the speaker humorously recounts an encounter with a hostile dog in their neighborhood, which has created a tense relationship every time they cross paths. The story serves as a light-hearted break from the heavier emotional topics discussed earlier. The speaker describes the dog's size and behavior, and how a past conflict has led to ongoing animosity. This anecdote provides a relatable and amusing interlude in the script.

20:07

🌟 Personal Growth and Emotional Management

The final paragraph circles back to the theme of emotional choice, with the speaker sharing their personal journey with anxiety. They reflect on how they realized that their anxious feelings were, to some extent, within their control. The speaker admits that while it's not easy to change emotional responses, the acceptance of this fact was a turning point in managing their anxiety. They also mention a recent bout with depression due to family news, indicating that while they've made progress, they still face emotional challenges. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of working on emotional management, especially with anger, which is a current focus for them.

Keywords

💡Choice

In the context of the video, 'choice' refers to the idea that individuals have the power to decide how they react to situations, including their emotional responses. The speaker discusses how emotions like anger and depression might feel involuntary, but they are ultimately a choice we make. For instance, the speaker mentions that while it's not easy to 'snap fingers' and change one's mood, the possibility of making such a choice exists and can be developed over time, similar to learning to make a difficult shot in sports.

💡Anger

'Anger' is explored as an emotion that can be chosen, despite often feeling like a reaction to external events. The speaker reflects on how anger can be a surface-level emotion that masks deeper feelings, such as fear or sadness. An example from the script is the speaker's own experience with anger and the realization that it's a choice they make, even if it's a difficult one to change, especially when compared to the slower-developing emotions like depression.

💡Depression

Depression is discussed as a state of low mood that can be a choice, although the speaker acknowledges it often feels forced by circumstances. The script mentions that while it might not be easy to choose to be happy when dealing with depression, recognizing it as a choice can be a step towards managing it. The speaker contrasts it with anger, noting that depression can be harder to shift due to the extended period of contemplation it involves.

💡Circumstance

Circumstance in the video refers to the external events or conditions that can influence a person's emotional state. The speaker argues that while circumstances can make it seem like emotions are inflicted upon us, the response to these circumstances is still a choice. For example, losing a job or going through a divorce are circumstances that can lead to feelings of depression, but how one chooses to deal with these emotions is within one's control.

💡Effort

The term 'effort' is used to describe the work required to change one's emotional state. It suggests that choosing different emotions is not an instantaneous act but rather a process that requires consistent effort over time. The speaker uses the analogy of practicing a free kick in sports to illustrate that changing emotions is similar to developing a skill through repeated effort.

💡Control

'Control' is mentioned in relation to the power an individual has over their emotional responses. The speaker emphasizes that although external events can be beyond our control, our reactions to them are not. This concept is central to the video's message that accepting control over our emotions can lead to personal growth and better mental health, as seen when the speaker discusses the possibility of choosing not to be angry or depressed.

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is portrayed as an emotion that the speaker used to struggle with but has since learned to manage by recognizing it as a choice. The speaker's journey with anxiety is used to illustrate the process of accepting personal responsibility for one's emotional state and the transformative power of this realization. It's noted that anxiety, like anger, can be a rapid response that doesn't always allow for conscious choice, but with awareness, it can be managed.

💡Emotion

Emotion is a broad term used throughout the video to encompass feelings such as anger, depression, and anxiety. The speaker discusses how emotions are often perceived as involuntary but can be recognized and changed through conscious choice. The exploration of different emotions helps to convey the complexity of emotional experiences and the importance of acknowledging them as choices.

💡Binary Choice

The concept of a 'binary choice' is mentioned to contrast with the more nuanced reality of emotional choices. The speaker clarifies that choosing emotions is not as simple as a yes-or-no decision but involves a spectrum of possibilities. This is exemplified by the speaker's discussion of anger as not just a single emotion but a combination of fear, humiliation, and ego, which complicates the choice of how to respond.

💡Mental Training

Mental training is discussed as a way to develop the ability to make different emotional choices. The speaker likens it to physical training for sports, suggesting that with practice, one can improve their emotional responses over time. This is evident when the speaker talks about how they consciously decide to meditate to manage anger but sometimes fail due to a lack of mental training or discipline.

💡Ego

Ego is explored in relation to how it influences emotional responses, particularly anger. The speaker suggests that anger can be an egoic response meant to protect oneself from more vulnerable emotions. The script provides examples such as road rage, where the ego might react defensively to protect from feelings of fear or humiliation, illustrating how the ego can drive instant emotional reactions that feel beyond our control.

Highlights

Emphasizing that anger and depression are choices, though not always easy or instantaneous.

Acknowledging that external circumstances can make it seem like emotions are inflicted, not chosen.

Clarifying that the concept of 'choice' can be misleading due to the effort and practice required to change emotional states.

Drawing an analogy between emotional control and the skill of scoring in sports, such as basketball or football.

Discussing the unrealistic expectation to instantly overcome strong emotions like the death of a child.

Arguing that for less innate emotional responses, like getting fired, it can be useful to remember that our reactions are a choice.

Describing the process of changing emotional responses as similar to training a muscle.

Sharing a personal anecdote about choosing to meditate despite feeling angry and the struggle to make that choice.

Exploring the idea that anger is often a surface-level emotion that masks deeper feelings.

Suggesting that anger can be a substitute for deeper emotions like fear, sadness, or humiliation.

Discussing how the ego uses anger as a defense mechanism to protect from vulnerability.

Musing on the idea that narcissism might be a spectrum of traits rather than a distinct category of people.

Sharing a personal encounter with a hostile dog and the impact it has had on the speaker's routine.

Reflecting on the realization that anxiety is a choice and how that understanding improved the speaker's mental state.

Noting the difficulty of managing anger due to its instantaneous nature compared to the slower emotions like depression.

Encouraging self-reflection and the importance of expecting better emotional control from oneself.

Sharing a Reddit comment that suggests breaking down anger into its constituent emotions for better management.

Concluding thoughts on the ongoing personal journey of emotional management and the importance of self-reminders.

Transcripts

hey guys so uh I'm in the process

of kind of reminding myself I guess that

anger and

depression are choices uh you know you

kind of choose to feel that way and that

can sound like a sort of contentious

statement like that you choose to feel

that way

because um a lot of the time it feels

like it's in flicted on you through

circumstance and in a sense it

is uh that's true and the word choice

can be misleading because it makes it

sound like like it's easy like you can

just snap your fingers and and feel okay

and feel better that's all there is to

I'm going to have so many [ __ ] bites

on me if I stay here um they're all over

me man so

uh yeah it feels it makes it feel like

it's you know something that's it makes

it sound like it's something that's so

easy uh like you can just choose to like

not be annoyed you can just choose to

not be depressed you can just choose to

be happy

and it's not like a simple binary yes or

no instantaneous Choice like that it's

not that

easy

it's uh concerted effort most of the

time and often like over a long period

of time it's not a

thing that you can just do and it's also

something that takes practice but it's

still a choice ultimately like it's

still exists purely within the realm of

your control uh I think it's a bit like

for example you imagine like making a

really difficult

shot in like say like basketball for

example like I don't know anything about

basketball but on the other side of the

court all the way down the one end

and you you know like trying to

like [ __ ] what do you even call it in

basketball score hoop trying to uh

whatever it is um let's go with football

take an amazing free kick right to to

score a free kick Loop the ball over the

wall

and uh

score a a perfectly placed

accurate and Powerful free kick um

that's like I've got so lost in the in

the uh in the weeds of these analogies

but basically like that's something that

you you essentially can't do right like

if you if you tried to do that like most

normal people you can't do that you

can't score like a a sort of you know

David Beckham mask free kick um but but

if you're awarded the free kick then

only you can no one else can and

theoretically you can it's not that you

can't do it it's that like being

realistic most probably you don't have

the ability to right now or it would

take a lot of work or you're not really

mentally prepared to do it or you don't

have the confidence to do

it uh

but essentially like in theory you can

you could do that if you took that free

kick a million

times one of those million times you

might just score an absolute belter so

it is within your capabilities to do it

um but it would be unreasonable for

someone to go just [ __ ] score the

free kick you know stop being a dick

score the free kick

because it would be so difficult for you

but it's still possible you can still

score the free kick

um and if it's you who's awarded it no

one else can do it for you you know so

the only person who can do it is you and

this act exists purely within the realm

of of what you do or don't end up doing

and ultimately that comes down to

choice so in the same sense like if

something horrific happens to you um

uh how you feel about that is a choice

but it might be an almost impossible

Choice it might be a choice where the

99.99999% probability is you're going to

feel a certain way about that

um and

so from that point of

view in effect it's it's it's not really

a choice but it's still really useful to

remember at other times that it is a

choice I know it sounds like I'm talking

complete [ __ ] here but uh just bear with

me like um you

know let's say uh you have a kid and

your kid dies right there's no point

someone telling you it's a choice you

know you don't need to feel upset like

you'd want to kill them it would just be

such a pointless and stupid thing to say

at that moment and it wouldn't really be

a choice in that moment you know unless

you're like a psych path if your kid

dies you're going to feel

terrible

um but let's say you get fired for

example right that's less of an innate

thing um and for most people getting

fired is a disaster obviously losing a

job is horrible and it's something

that's deserving of like sympathy or

going through a divorce for example uh

you know very traumatic and stressful

thing for most people but in a situation

like that it can be useful to remember

that it's a choice and even then it's an

a very difficult choice I mean you'd

have to be immensely well sort of

mentally trained and developed to get

fired

and just like not care uh divorce might

you might be happy about getting

divorced to be fair a lot people [ __ ]

love getting divorced um but you know I

don't think people enjoy the proceedings

but I think enjoy the the end result but

yeah I mean getting fired you know for

example from a job you care about and

that you depend on it would be very hard

to just to just not care but it's not

it's not impossible it's not impossible

in the way that it would be to to not

care about you know for example like

your child dying or

something um and it's like a muscle that

can be exercised it's like a thing that

can be trained like free kicks or

throwing a basketball whatever you call

it

um and

uh

it's it's good to remember that it's

important to remember that I

think it's not a nice thing to remind

people of you know it's not it's not

depending on the context you know it's

not really a it can be a sort of

insulting thing to say to somebody in

many contexts but it can be a very

useful thing to say to

yourself uh

like ultimately it's a choice and

sometimes I have that fa when I'm like

really angry or depressed and I think

like this is a choice and then I think

well it's not cuz I'm still angry it is

a choice I'm choosing to be and

sometimes I'm I'm wedded to that like I

I want to I mean it's not just a choice

it's like I mean it's like an active

choice you know like like the other day

yesterday I was I was really um sort of

angry and stressed

out and I was like right I'm going to

meditate and I sat down I put the timer

on and within like a minute I was like

this [ __ ] bastard [ __ ] what is

this [ __ ] person thing they I started

like seeing with rage and I was like

[ __ ] this I'm not meditating I'm going

to go and [ __ ] do something I can't

[ __ ] sit here and so in that moment I

was really making a choice

like that really was a choice and

probably not even that difficult of a

choice just a a you know a choice in

which I would was I was too weak willed

to make the better choice I wasn't well

trained enough I wasn't

well I wasn't experienced enough in that

situation and I just wasn't I just I

just didn't I just made the wrong choice

I made the choice in that moment

to to go and you know fester and

whatever and to be angry um so in that

situation yeah it wasn't even that

wasn't even like you know an against the

odds free kick that was like like a

Sunday League free

kick against you know like a fat

goalkeeper who's hung over and I just

looked at the ball and I was like nah

and I just picked it up and [ __ ] ran

off you know uh had a

tantrum that's

uh that that really is a choice so I

guess what I'm saying is technically you

know theoretically it's always a Choice

some cases it's not really I think it's

it's unrealistic to uh to expect people

to just overcome their

emotions in an instant regardless of the

weight of

them but I think it's fair in situations

like I was in you know when I went to

meditate to expect better from myself to

expect yeah just to expect better just

to expect you know myself to say hey I I

should probably for the sake of being

like better to be around and just being

a more functioning person I should

probably like persevere with this it's a

10-minute meditation and I should the

whole point of it is to you know be less

angry

so if I just get up angrily I'm I'm

really defeating the purpose of it and I

think I can expect or I should expect

that level of

uh of commitment for myself um

so I'm thinking out loud here partially

because because

uh

it's it's an important thing to remember

you know for

myself um yeah what else yeah I saw I

saw a good uh comment on Reddit the

other day about anger um

and it

was about how you know you should split

it into different emotions cuz it's it's

rarely just anger it's usually a lot of

things at once and I found that to be

very helpful as well uh like for example

the example this commenter gave was if

someone like Cuts you off in traffic not

that I would [ __ ] know so I've got my

license um I dream of the day someone

cuts me off in traffic if someone cuts

you off in

traffic you go into a rage right and

like

you just think like this [ __ ] person

cut me off well probably not it's

probably one this is the examples this

person I don't remember exactly I'm

paraphrasing but one is like you know

you're actually very scared you're

scared for your life you're scared that

this person could have killed you you're

angry that they were just being reckless

in general you're also angry they were

being Reckless around you specifically

you're also angry that they drove off

and you didn't get to say anything and

you know perhaps you're sort of hurt and

sad by the possibility of what could

happen and what might happen to somebody

else and and you know there's a lot of

different emotions there it's not just

like oh some prick cut me off I'm

furious like there's there's there's a

lot of different emotions and a lot of

time when you are angry yeah like a lot

of the time there's a lot of

Shame and

fear and uh I think anger and

humiliation are closely linked and

obviously anger is quite like an egoic

emotion so for me that's a big part of

it a lot of the time I feel um I feel

uh diminished you know by situations or

people or people's actions I feel kind

of like I feel uh yeah diminished or

sort of threatened by them and and um

and ultimately like kind of bad about

myself uh but it's much easier to be

angry it's quick is more readily

available and it diverts attention away

from what's really sort of deeply

hurting you because I don't think most

of the time unless you've been a victim

of something particularly infuriating I

don't think most of the time anger is a

very deep emotion I think it's quite a

surface level emotion it's one that we

sort of grab for you know

um I think uh deeper

emotions I think like fear can be a

deeper emotion than anger and I think

sadness

um you know and sort of longing and

things like that they they can

be they usually are I think deeper

emotions than anger and I think anger

can be a a substitute for those

things

um or a way of avoiding thinking about

or feeling them because a lot of things

that we do with

our uh egos a lot of the things our egos

do rather I should say lot of our egoic

responses to things are a way of

protecting us from things we don't want

to think about or feel or acknowledge

you see it a lot if you ever deal with a

a very narcissistic person and you point

out maybe an inconsistency in their

behavior

or you know some sort of wrongdoing on

their part and and the moment they don't

have a response for it or they they they

they're forced almost forced to confront

this immediately they lash out in in

Fury

um it's a very common reaction because

their ego is in like hyperdrive so it's

it's really trying to protect them from

something

and I think it's trying to protect

protect them from some feeling of some

very strong feeling of like fragility

that's kind of like a an oxymoron but

like a a pungent powerful feeling of not

even you kind it's not a powerful

feeling of fragility is it an a feeling

of fragility let's just leave it there

um it's trying to protect them from that

uh because I think usually at some point

when they were being sort of formed

emotionally a a lot of the time anyway I

think some people are just dicks but a

lot of the time they were in some way

made to feel extremely vulnerable or

challenged or threatened and or over

repeated you know long period of time

repeated incidents and it just becomes a

defense mechanism

to to go into sort of narcissism and

anger and lashing

out um

and I think all of us have that in us to

some degree it's not a thing that only

they do it's just more pronounced I

don't even to be honest I don't really

believe in the idea of like a narcissist

and a non- narcissist because most of us

are pretty [ __ ] narcissistic like

especially these days Jesus but I think

always really like people are you know

almost all of us I'd say are like

surprisingly self- involved at times not

always not in every respect but but but

um all you know is yourself you know all

you really know is yourself it's hard

not to think a lot about yourself of

course that changes when you have like

family members you care about kids and

stuff but but still even then you know

people aren't always angels in in their

sort of family lives and

uh I think most the traits that you know

when we say someone is a narcissist or

someone else is not a narcissist like we

all kind of have those traits to varying

degrees and even amongst people who

would

qualify uh you know being diagnosed as

being um

narcissists

like there's a huge Spectrum even within

that I mean you know I just I think I

guess I think that this binary

interpretation of it this very literal

sort of binary interpretation of it I

think is kind of wrong I think it's like

a a trait I don't think it's a a person

I don't think you can say a person is

that

as a noun well it can be a noun but a

noun of a a trait that they possess

rather than a noun of you know who and

what they are in its entirety but anyway

jeez I've killed like so many snails

just now I can't I'm not trying to oh my

good okay now these are actually shells

of something I did stand on a bunch of

snails back there on my bike the other

day as well when it's raining they all

cross the road I was on my bike and I

was like what are these [ __ ] noises

is this glass going in my tires or

something and then I realized I just

killed about 10 snails on the way up the

path cuz for some reason they all cross

the road when it's when it's raining

um yeah so

uh yeah that's all

really

um I'm I'm keeping half an hour on my

surroundings here cuz there's this dog

in this area that not in dog that

frequents this area with its owner who

doesn't just walk around by itself it's

not vagrant um that [ __ ] hates me I

had an argument with itona once and it's

like a biggest dog I've ever seen it's

one of those like livestock dogs it's

like those um I forget what they're

called those like Turkish ones I think

they're Turkish there no an Italian

Shepherd it I thought it was one of

those apparently not um but it is huge

like absolutely huge and I had an

argument with his owner once and this

dog it's not only the size of an

elephant but it has the memory of one

and just like every time it sees me it

goes berserk je always has it on a

really loose collar and you know when

someone's like trying to hold their dog

back and you see the collars like out

here I'm just like Jesus Christ man this

dog could kill me like I would rather

fight like a a fighting dog than a huge

one you know like like I wouldn't want

to fight any of them but I would fancy

my chances more even against like a you

know a quite tough Pitbull than like one

of these massive ones I just wouldn't

know what to do um I guess they're not

that agile you know they don't have the

best balance you could use that to your

advantage but I just feel like if it

just got on me like it pounced on me oh

man it's big it's like a bear like it's

literally like a b and it just it's sort

of ruined this area for me cuz every

time it sees me it's like here whenever

I'm [ __ ] here and it goes mental um

from like far away you know like it's

crazy anyway yeah

yeah that's all really I've been

uh just thinking about this stuff

um and uh still trying

to to work on it because I can say all

of this in a video and then and then

suddenly I just find myself like

consumed by these

feelings and I realized it with anxiety

a long time ago I realized

like it was it was a it was a very eye

opening experience for me a very eye

openening change I guess or I don't know

whatever when I when I sort of realized

you know I was I the probably my like

most of my 20s uh from probably

like 16 to like 26 or whatever probably

not coincidentally the times when I was

like smoking the most weed but I don't

think it's just that cuz I know a lot of

people who were very similar who didn't

smoke weed but that period was really

defined by anxiety for me like very

intense

anxiety sometimes verging on

panic

and uh at a certain point I realized

whoops sorry I got [ __ ] annoying

notification there um at a certain point

I realized like

that that it was it was a choice perhaps

it was a choice is is the wrong wording

it's almost inflamm

um because there were factors that made

it you know very difficult not to feel

that way but but I realized it was in my

hands I guess uh and that doesn't mean

it's easy doesn't mean it was easy but

but when I realized that when I learned

that and I guess the most important

thing is when I accepted that when I

stopped blaming the world for how I felt

I can blame the world for the world I

can blame people for their actions I can

blame you know people when they do

something wrong but but my feelings are

sort of my responsibility for the most

part and when I realize that with

regards to anxiety like that was the

beginning of it really getting a lot

better and I wouldn't really say anxiety

is a big part of my life anymore um it

is mostly mostly like anger really um

depression isn't a big thing for me

either it has been like the last few

days cuz you know had some bad news

using the family and stuff and and

that's been

um giving me that feeling again you know

where it's like hard to do anything it's

hard

to to to motivate yourself to just get

through the day it's hard to move

sometimes hard to even like wake up your

brain you know sometimes and when you're

depressed about something but but it's

not a thing I'm afflicted by all the

time in normal

circumstances um and nor is anxiety they

both used to be so

now it's a case of of doing that with

anger

um the problem is with it being as I

mentioned earlier such an

instantaneously available emotion and

such a kind of Rapid Fire emotion it

doesn't give you much time to think uh

when you're depressed you have all the

time in the world to think you know

you're you're lying down in bed and

you're depressed and you you have this

time and space to think about it

and the same with anxiety usually it's

like Goring away at you all day so you

can talk to yourself which was a really

useful thing for me for like talking to

myself in my head

um and Talking it through anger you

don't get as much opportunity to do that

but you can do it before and

after and yeah that's what I

uh that's what I need to

do uh more I think so yeah thanks for

watching guys