Your Worldview is Holding You Back
Summary
TLDRThe speaker emphasizes the power of personal choice and intention in shaping one's life, moving beyond past experiences of hostility or scarcity. They advocate for creating a 'friendly universe' through positive practices like meditation and assertive love, which rewire our emotional responses. The talk also challenges deterministic views, arguing for free will and the ability to make conscious choices that lead to personal growth, abundance, and a high sense of agency.
Takeaways
- đ The script emphasizes the impact of our mental frame on our physical well-being, suggesting that a constant scanning for danger can lead to stress, cortisol production, and discomfort.
- đ It offers hope that one's past experiences, even if they were hostile or negative, do not dictate their future, and personal power can be gained by shaping a different world.
- đ The speaker shares their personal journey from a hostile upbringing to creating a friendly universe, highlighting the importance of personal development and intentional living.
- đ§ Albert Einstein's quote is referenced to stress the importance of deciding whether the world is hostile or friendly, a decision that can be made independently of past experiences.
- đ The script suggests that reading personal development books and applying their teachings can lead to significant positive changes in one's life.
- đ€ It discusses the concept of 'high agency', which is the belief in one's ability to shape their life and environment, as opposed to being a passive observer.
- đ§ The practice of meditation is presented as a tool for shaping a new way of thinking and feeling, promoting freedom and presence.
- đȘ The speaker encourages the audience to consciously practice positive emotions and behaviors to align their impulses with their intentions.
- đ° The concept of abundance is introduced as a state of being that one can build and cultivate, rather than something that is simply given or received.
- đ The debate on free will versus determinism is touched upon, with the speaker advocating for the existence of free will and the power of choice in shaping one's life.
Q & A
What is the primary impact of constantly scanning for danger on a person's physical body?
-Constantly scanning for danger can lead to high levels of stress, increased cortisol, discomfort, and distrust, which can negatively affect a person's physical health.
How does the speaker suggest one can change their perception of the world from hostile to friendly?
-The speaker suggests that one can change their perception by consciously deciding to build a friendly world, shaping their current reality based on intention, and engaging in positive practices that foster trust and connection.
What role do personal development books play in the speaker's journey towards a friendly world?
-Personal development books played a significant role by providing powerful insights and guidance, which helped the speaker to understand and implement changes in their life, moving away from a hostile mindset.
What is the significance of the quote attributed to Albert Einstein in the script?
-The quote by Albert Einstein emphasizes the importance of deciding whether the world is hostile or friendly, suggesting that this decision is crucial and can be made independently of past experiences.
How does the speaker describe the shift from a hostile to a friendly family dynamic?
-The speaker describes the shift by stating that one can choose to break the cycle of hostility and consciously build a friendly family environment, starting with their own actions and behaviors.
What practices does the speaker recommend to cultivate a friendly world?
-The speaker recommends practices such as meditation, good sleep, a healthy diet, and regular exercise to cultivate a friendly world. These practices help in shaping a new way of thinking and feeling.
How does the speaker define the four primary desires that humans have?
-The speaker defines the four primary desires as aliveness, connection, meaningful pursuits, and growth. These desires are linked to emotional states and are seen as fundamental to human well-being.
What is the concept of 'high agency' as discussed in the script?
-High agency refers to the belief that individuals have the power to make choices and take actions that shape their lives, rather than being entirely determined by external circumstances or internal impulses.
Why does the speaker argue against the idea of determinism in human behavior?
-The speaker argues against determinism because they have witnessed people making choices that go beyond their circumstances, demonstrating free will. They believe that individuals have the capacity to choose growth and change, which is indicative of having high agency.
How does the speaker relate the concept of abundance to personal growth and self-respect?
-The speaker relates abundance to personal growth and self-respect by suggesting that actively building an abundant life in various aspects, such as love, joy, wealth, and health, can lead to increased self-respect and a sense of capability, which in turn influences one's emotions and impulses positively.
Outlines
đ Overcoming a Hostile Past
The speaker discusses the impact of growing up in a hostile environment, characterized by constant scanning for danger, which leads to physical stress, cortisol production, discomfort, and distrust. They emphasize that despite such a past, there is hope for change. The speaker shares their personal journey from a place of fear and avoidance to one of intentional creation of a friendly universe. They highlight the importance of conscious decision-making, detached from past experiences, to shape a new reality. The speaker also mentions the influence of personal development books and the power of intention in transforming one's life, suggesting that everyone has the agency to change their family dynamics and personal experiences from hostile to friendly.
đ§ââïž Shaping a Friendly Universe Through Practice
The speaker explores the concept of meditation and personal practices as tools to shape not just an escape from negativity but to actively create a new way of thinking and feeling. They argue that by meditating and intentionally placing oneself in desired emotional states, one can rebuild their inner architecture. The speaker shares their own practice of daily meditation and how it has helped them to feel more freedom and presence. They also discuss the four primary desiresâaliveness, connection, meaningful pursuits, and growthâand how practicing these can lead to a more friendly world perception. The speaker encourages the audience to practice positivity and to recognize that while negative experiences are inevitable, it is the positive practices that drive one's life and emotions.
đ° Building an Abundant Life
The speaker challenges the notion of scarcity and advocates for the conscious creation of abundance in all aspects of life, including love, joy, wealth, and health. They share their own background of growing up in poverty and how it shaped their initial mindset of protection and hoarding. The speaker emphasizes the importance of intention in accessing and building abundance, suggesting that one must actively decide to create an abundant life. They encourage the audience to take pride in building abundance and to align their actions and beliefs with this goal. The speaker also discusses the psychological shift that occurs when one experiences self-respect through their achievements, which in turn diminishes negative impulses and emotions, leading to a more positive and engaging outlook on life.
đ Debating Free Will and Determinism
The speaker engages in a philosophical discussion about free will versus determinism, challenging the idea that all actions are predetermined and that there is no free will. They share an anecdote about a conversation with a podcaster who believed in determinism and use it to illustrate how people can make choices that go beyond their circumstances, biology, and sociology. The speaker argues that coaching experiences have shown them the power of free will, as individuals often make choices that are not dictated by their environment or past. They emphasize the importance of recognizing one's ability to make choices and the liberating feeling that comes with understanding the concept of high agency in life.
đïžââïž Embracing High Agency and Growth Mindset
The speaker concludes with a call to embrace a high agency mindset, where one takes command of their life and makes active choices to pursue growth and change. They argue against the belief in being fixed or stuck, suggesting that staying in such a state is, in fact, a choice. The speaker encourages the audience to observe people in challenging situations, like a Spartan Race, to witness the exercise of free will. They emphasize the importance of understanding one's fluidity and adaptability, and the ability to choose growth over impulse. The speaker concludes by reinforcing the message of freedom in making choices and the strength that comes with taking responsibility for one's actions and life direction.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄScanning
đĄCortisol
đĄDistrust
đĄPersonal Power
đĄHostile Universe
đĄDetachment
đĄVulnerability
đĄIntention
đĄMeditation
đĄAbundance Mindset
đĄHigh Agency
Highlights
The impact of a constant scanning for danger on one's physical body includes stress, cortisol production, discomfort, and distrust.
It's possible to shape a different world and gain personal power despite a hostile past.
Albert Einstein's quote emphasizes the importance of deciding whether the world is hostile or friendly.
Conscious adults can answer the question of the world's nature independently from their past experiences.
The idea that our thoughts and emotions are shaped by our past does not limit our ability to create a new reality.
Personal development books can be a powerful tool for shaping one's current world based on intention.
The concept of agency in shaping one's life is a key to finding a new level of self-control.
The decision to build a friendly world is a conscious choice that can change one's emotional state.
Reading 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' can be a step towards building a friendly group of people.
Meditation is not just for moving away from negative experiences but for shaping an entirely new way of thinking.
Practicing emotions and feelings can lead to a world that feels more friendly.
The four primary desires are aliveness, connection, meaningful pursuits, and growth.
Practicing positive things can lead to impulses that align with those practices.
The idea that as we mature, our intentions start to condition our impulses.
The shift from being driven by impulses to being driven by intentions is a sign of maturity.
The concept of abundance versus scarcity and the importance of building an abundant life.
The belief that abundance is accessible but requires intention to be experienced.
The debate on free will and determinism, and the argument for the existence of free will based on personal experiences and observations.
The importance of high agency in life and the ability to make choices that go beyond circumstances.
Transcripts
if you're always scanning always
scanning as a dominant frame for danger
well guess what that does to your
physical body stress cortisol discomfort
distrust if that is true of your past I
want to let you know there's hope that
was true of my past that's what I grew
up in that's what I experien that's what
I
know but I don't have to live there and
stay there you can shape a different
world and when you you got that you got
real personal
power I cannot tell you how genius level
Albert Einstein was when he said this
it's just like wait a
minute this is one of the most important
decisions we'll ever make is this a
hostile or friendly world and I want you
to know that this question can be
answered detached from your past
experience
that we can as conscious adults goou
know what I feel like it's a hostile
Universe because all these bad things
happen to me and here's all the reasons
it is or I can say you know what let me
start shaping a friendly
Universe this is what I did I grew up in
a very hostile place so my emotions were
primarily what you would call fear or
avoidance driven emotions protect
yourself be careful my thoughts were
that way my immediate anxieties were
that way so my sense of being on guard
was all the time and my thoughts were
like be careful watch out not can't
trust this person can't trust this
person and it was always on the lookout
high levels of stress and cortisol
following along with that mental frame
does that make sense if you're always
scanning always scanning as a dominant
frame for danger well guess what that
does to your physical body right stress
cortisol discomfort dis
trust and
avoidance
Detachment not being vulnerable not
sharing because you don't want to be
hurt shamed
attacked and listen if that is true of
your past I want to let you know there's
hope that was true of my past that's
what I grew up in that's what I experien
that's what I
know but I don't have to live there and
stay there now I didn't have to do
therapy for it I happen to be somebody
who just did personal I've read all
these personal development books which
by the way everyone craps on personal
development books half of them are
written by psychologist for Pete's sake
so it's like wait these were incredibly
powerful and thoughtful people and I was
reading these personal development books
and it was saying hey even if you came
from that you now get to shape your
current world based on
intention and I'm sure even our
therapist friends will agree on this one
that's that's the switch that's the
power
that's where you find a new level of of
self-control over life is go oh yeah
maybe I did grow up in a
hostile world but I'm not going to
perpetuate that as Ed melet says I'm
gonna be the one to change that in the
course of my family I'm going to be
wanting this generation to shift us from
a hostile family to a friendly family
yet just because you had and you were in
danger mode it doesn't mean that you
can't now decide to build friendly world
and that's what I did I said you know
what I'm scared to
everybody uh I'm going to read How to
Win Friends and Influence People and
start building a
friendly group of people around me I'm
going to learn to engage people and
create friendships with people that is
going to allow me to live in that
emotion to live in that feeling live in
that experience even more than the past
it doesn't say that those things didn't
come up for me it just says I was going
to consciously create something
different you can shape a different
world and when you got that you got real
personal power I really believe you have
more mental health you can be aware of
these things you can be accepting of
these things you can be forgiving of
these things I'm not saying deny it I'm
saying yes those things exist but the
switch in our human behavior in changing
the future happens that moment ago
I can create a friendly
Universe the universe doesn't just
happen to me I have high agency in this
I I can shape this if I'm in a marriage
that is hostile I have input into this
thing I can ship this thing I can shape
this thing I can leave this thing I can
do something about this thing that's
that's the moment people get
freedom and I want to give you that you
have the freedom to now choose
you have the freedom to see and sense
and feel and experience things but also
create shape structure things right for
me why do I
meditate well it's not just to move away
from these negative things that happen
in my life is to shape an entire new
brain is to shape an entire new way of
thinking it's to shape the feelings of
freedom and presence that I want to
experience more often now notice it
doesn't happen you me I I meditate every
day in other words I made it a
practice your emotions and putting
yourself into emotions feelings and
moods that you want to experience
becomes a practice and the more you
practice it the more the world feels
more friendly because you've got a
guiding hand in it does that make sense
you you're back in the game you're back
at the driver's wheel this shifts
everything it doesn't mean you don't
have negative experiences I I got tons
of negative experiences negative people
negative days negative events negative
emails negative bills you all these
things happen and are true I don't deny
them but they don't drive me what drives
me is my positive conscious
practices that allow me to feel
good to connect to succeed in the world
does that make sense to feel good to
connect with other people to achieve
meaningful Pursuits you all have heard
me share this before that I believe that
the four primary desires and of course
these all have emotional states with
them too are that we all want we all
want
aliveness
connection meaningful
Pursuits and
growth aliveness connection meaningful
Pursuits and growth well I can practice
those things as I practice those things
I feel feel those things as I feel those
things over and over and over and over
again it's like rebuilding the inner
architecture of My Mind Body Spirit and
all of a sudden the more I get to feel
those things listen the more I get to
feel those things sense those things the
more I practice the things that drum
those things up the more listen my
impulses start to fall in
line This is why change is possible
you practice positive things for you
your impulses start over time to fall in
line it doesn't mean that there's not
still negative impulses it means that a
majority of your impulses start to fall
in line with that conscious patterning
and protocols and practices so the
reason I consciously and consistently
practice things like meditation good
sleep workout good food and diet is
because as I practice those things my
impulses lead towards those as I
practice connecting with my wife my
impulses lead to love does that make
sense even though I grew up in a hostile
place the more I practice assertive
caring kind love with my partner as I
get into practice of that my impulses
start to fall my intentions when you're
immature
your
impulses Drive Your Action when you're
mature your
intentions start to condition your
impulses does that make sense I'm not
here to say I'm not that Miracle guy I
hate those uh seminar guys who are like
you can change this thing in an instant
forever I'm like no usually intention
and practice starts to over time
condition impulses to fall more in line
not all of them not for forever not
instantaneously but more of them and so
I went from a scared kid to a very
approached kid a friendly kid a happy
kid I want you to know it's possible
it's possible so friendly versus hostile
choose friendly and put friendly
practices into your life watch how your
impulses change as you get more open to
other people more vulnerable more
assertive more connecting driven the
impulses start to fall in line over a
period of time because the
behavior starts shaping the emotion the
feeling and the mood right this is why
sometimes they say fake it till you make
it I never like that phrase what they're
saying is put yourself into play the
body and the mind the spirit will
eventually follow it right put yourself
onto that field even though you're not
an athlete over a period of time you
find yourself running right you got to
put yourself in play that's important
for positive practices okay second one
abundance versus scarcity
uh this is very powerful and this will
be uh not liked by many people I'm just
going to say it I want you to build
abundance in your
life n say I don't want you to have
abundance I want you to build it I want
you consciously decide I'm going to
build an Abundant Life abundance of Love
Abundance of Joy abundance of wealth
abundance of health I'm going to build
that as I build that my behavior is
aligned to to that my beliefs align to
that my impulses align to that I didn't
have abundance in my life we grew up
poor I didn't understand that I could
have things build things do things I
just thought that you know some people
have it some people don't but in every
area I didn't see an abundance of
affection outside of my mom and dad the
community I was growing up in didn't
have that it was hostile it was also
scarce there wasn't a lot of things so
even at school kids stole stuff stole my
books stole my pens stole my backpack
there's like a lot of scarcity and so I
just learned to protect and grab and
hoard but I never learned to build and
to generate see I'm putting you into
higher agency here I want you to build
abundance I want you to be very proud of
yourself for having built abundance and
wealth into your life building abundance
of love into your life because abundance
requires
intention abundance requires intention
you just get abundance I believe
abundance is here it's accessible from
the universe from God I'm somebody who
has great belief in that and if I don't
intend myself to experience it and to
explore it it's like it's like
gone so you have to access abundance but
more importantly I want you to build it
I want you be so I I want you to be that
person in this generation of your family
who creates more abundance of affection
of health of wealth of contrib ution of
creativity I want you to be that person
only because you decide to you just so
oh I'm going to have this abundant
mindset I'm going to align my actions
with it I'm G to build it and then you
know what you get that
self-respect that comes in and the more
you get self-respect because you've
built something you generated it you had
high
agency guess
what those
doubtful those
diminishing
impulses thoughts emotions feelings
moods those start to be diminished those
start to go away because your confidence
your worth your sense of ability and
capability in life it
grows because you grew something you
made something more abundant you grew it
right you grew it you grew more positive
emotions you grew more affection and
love you grew better relationships you
grew a business you grew your wealth you
grew your health and all of a sudden in
growing your practices of a positive
life you're like yeah I got this and now
you have the
emotions that feel like encouraging
emotions everyone put it in the chat
encouraging
emotions it's almost like your emotions
start
supporting movement
your emotions start feeling like high
levels of like let's engage let's
approach let's do it we can handle this
your thoughts start feeling more driven
by a sense of worth and self-respect and
capability that is at another level
because you grew something as you grow
these areas of your life you grow in
self respect and your impulses align I
want you to write that down in your
notes your impulses start to align L and
remember emotions are automatic impulses
they're automatic they're reactive
they're circumstantial they're physical
and they're short but you can start
getting those to pop in more positive
ways as you make progress in these areas
okay third is the world agentic or
deterministic I think You' probably seen
this huge debate uh all around the world
especially the last couple years is is
there free will they're very brilliant
thinkers from physics to psychology to
more cultural uh I would say um cultural
commentators who have come out and said
there is no free will the universe is
doing what it's doing we're along for
the ride you know fate is determined and
your choices are actually determined
based on things you can't control your
you know how your body is processing
right now uh you can't control it based
on the circumstances because
circumstances just happen randomly by
chance uh you can't control it there's
this big movement that there's no Free
Will and uh I share this story with you
um I was being interviewed by a
podcaster uh who did not run the
interview because of what happened but
he was very highly he says everything's
deterministic we we don't have control
there is no free will Brandon there's no
way you can say that uh you know humans
can just choose to do something because
you know we don't have the ability to do
that like things make us and force us to
do things from how we think to how our
body is being run to the people around
us and I think that was something uh I
don't agree with because I've spent a
career watching people like literally
seeing their eyes make a choice and that
choice wasn't because of biological it
wasn't just because of cosmological it
wasn't just because of
sociological a higher intention or a
higher spirit that was connected to
Something in the future that was their
Consciousness making that choice in fact
they had all the reasons to make other
choices logic would have said make this
choice but intention and Consciousness
and spirit said make this choice they
acted far and above impulse they acted
far and above what their family did what
their circumstances was they made a
choice of character and Consciousness
that it would actually be hard to
describe we see it all the time when
someone does something truly courageous
and not an impulsive courageousness like
they deliberated the real risk and they
did it anyway that's they went against
their own human preservation they risked
their life to help somebody else
that is more of a moralistic
character-driven or Consciousness driven
thing that is a free will moment there
was five other people standing there all
of the right logic said don't risk your
physical body five other people didn't
jump in one person jumped in that was a
demonstration of Free Will person didn't
agree with me made lots of good debates
and very philosophical um by the way
everyone usually who makes the argument
there's no free will have never been a
coach to other people over long term
maybe they had in interesting
philosophical conversations maybe
they've read lots of books but they've
never coached somebody over the course
of a year or two like they were
personally responsible to coach this
person and see them shift and change and
if you ever coach people you learn about
the power of free will it's super
obvious of course this argument is that
it's one or the other and and that's
where people get diminished they think
like well you know there is either free
will or there is not and I think of
course do things influence us lots of
things influence us tons of things
influence us but we can still make the
decision on our
own for example I told this podcaster I
said um when he said you know he got in
the argument and I just went right to it
I said uh I think when I was reading
about you I heard that you're
married and he saides I said how's that
going he goes what do you mean I said
your your marriage is it is it high
quality low quality are you happy with
it unhappy with it how's it going he
says I'm yes it's I'm I'm happy with it
I said okay well um what if you called
your wife right now what if you just
decided to call your wife right
now do you have a
choice or do you have to call her
because I just said you should call her
so that in this moment there's your
podcast team they're watching you
Brandon bashard just said your wife um
you know you could choose to or not
seems like of course you would because
you love her and you're probably someone
who values love is that true he goes
like uh where are you going with this I
said well if you love your wife and you
have a choice in this moment to talk to
her or
me who you going to talk
to he learned a lot about Free Will in
that moment uh and I could tell you he
pulled out his phone and called his wife
cuz talk to Brenan or my wife who' he
call his wife he made a choice now of
course social circumstances said he
should talk to me I'm there I flew in
you know all these people are here he
makes money from the podcast he chose
that day he was going to do like this
moment was all geared his whole life to
be a podcaster all of the situation was
there the money was all on the line made
said call you know just talk with men
but he could derail that by making a
choice well why do I go off on that even
if you don't agree with me
philosophically that's fine coach more
people and you'll start to realize
people can make outstanding
extraordinary uncommon unexpected
choices that are good that are moral
that are Beyond impulse the social
situation the moment and even every
single thing that we know they can
choose something new and it's like wow
that choice should be liberating for
you the greater you feel that you have
choice in life the more you have
freedom but too often you think well
she's just the way she is I'm just the
way that I am my family was broke this
generation was like this I'm black I'm
white I'm this I'm from there he's from
this my strength is this my inogram says
this we feel like we're fixed to these
certain situations and we don't
understand how fluid we are we don't
understand how adaptive we are we don't
understand our ability to choose growth
over impulse discomfort even right I
always tell people oh you don't believe
in free will go watch somebody run a
Spartan Race let's talk afterwards you
know it's like like there's a lot of
choice and I'm telling you there's
strength in your choice
be a high agency person if you want
something pursue it if you want to build
something do it don't believe you are
fixed and stuck if you stay stuck that's
a choice if you stay stuck in negative
emotions that's a choice freedom is
going I can choose a different thought
freedom is I can choose to build a
different thing I can start a new thing
I can quit a thing I can adapt I can
shift that growth mindset but that
growth Behavior
is so vital it's called having high
agency in life you feel that you in
command and you take actions to show it
it doesn't mean there aren't train
wrecks you don't mess up and there's not
fail what it means is you're back in the
driver seat high agency my friends
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