you're a man-child (harshhh truth, lets talk)

Summary

The speaker addresses the issue of 'Manchild' behavior, emphasizing the importance of personal responsibility and emotional maturity. He argues that blaming others for life's setbacks is a sign of immaturity and stresses the need for self-accountability. The transcript highlights the importance of emotional intelligence, self-sufficiency, and the pursuit of fulfillment over comfort. The speaker encourages viewers to take control of their lives, set goals, and work towards independence, all while maintaining a sense of self-respect and discipline.

Takeaways

• 😤 The first sign of being a 'Manchild' is blaming others for personal failures and not taking responsibility for one's life.
• 🙏 It's crucial to let go of grudges and understand that life is one's own responsibility, regardless of upbringing.
• 💪 Embracing the idea that life's outcomes are within one's control can be empowering and lead to positive changes.
• 👨‍💼 Financial independence and the willingness to work harder are signs of maturity and a purpose-driven mindset.
• 😢 Emotional intelligence is key to handling life's challenges; a real man controls his emotions and doesn't resort to violence.
• 🏡 Pursuing self-sufficiency and independence is essential for personal growth and the ability to support others in the future.
• 🎮 The ability to sacrifice short-term pleasures like playing video games for long-term goals is a mark of discipline.
• 📝 Having a to-do list and being organized is a sign of maturity, unlike the aimless routine of a child.
• 🍳 Knowing basic life skills like cooking and doing laundry is fundamental to being self-sufficient and independent.
• 👶 Not growing out of childish behaviors and expecting constant comfort and praise is a sign of immaturity.

Q & A

What is the first sign of being a 'Manchild' as described in the script?

The first sign of being a 'Manchild' is blaming others for one's own shortcomings in life and not taking personal responsibility for where one is in life.

Why is it important to stop blaming others for one's life situation according to the speaker?

It is important to stop blaming others because it hinders personal growth and progress. Taking responsibility allows individuals to have control over their lives and make positive changes.

What does the speaker suggest is a sign of emotional immaturity in men?

The speaker suggests that physically assaulting others, especially women, is a sign of emotional immaturity and lack of emotional intelligence.

How does the speaker define a 'purpose-driven mindset'?

A 'purpose-driven mindset' is defined as taking matters into one's own hands and working harder to achieve goals, rather than blaming external factors for one's lack of success.

What is the significance of emotional intelligence in the speaker's perspective?

Emotional intelligence is significant because it helps individuals control their emotions, communicate effectively, and avoid destructive behaviors, which are key to personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of being self-sufficient?

The speaker emphasizes self-sufficiency because it allows individuals to be independent, take care of themselves, and potentially support others, such as family members, without depending on them.

What is the difference between chasing comfort and pursuing fulfillment according to the script?

Chasing comfort is seeking immediate ease and pleasure, while pursuing fulfillment is about achieving long-term goals and completing tasks that contribute to personal growth and success.

Why does the speaker believe it's crucial for men to learn basic life skills like cooking and doing laundry?

The speaker believes it's crucial for men to learn basic life skills because it promotes independence and self-sufficiency, allowing them to take care of themselves without relying on others.

What does the speaker suggest as a sign of maturity in handling daily tasks?

A sign of maturity is having a to-do list and a schedule, which demonstrates organization, planning, and self-discipline in managing one's responsibilities.

How does the speaker view the role of distractions in achieving personal goals?

The speaker views distractions, such as excessive gaming, as hindrances to achieving personal goals and believes that focusing on action over distractions is essential for success.

Outlines

00:00

👨‍🏫 Personal Responsibility and Growth

The speaker emphasizes the importance of personal responsibility and accountability in one's life. They argue that blaming others for one's shortcomings is a sign of immaturity, often referred to as a 'Manchild'. The speaker shares their own upbringing, being raised by a single mother, and how they've learned to take charge of their life's direction. They encourage listeners to let go of grudges, stop pointing fingers, and start taking action to improve their circumstances. The message is about empowerment and self-improvement, suggesting that everyone has the power to change their life's trajectory.

05:00

😡 Emotional Maturity and Respect

This paragraph discusses the importance of emotional intelligence, particularly in men. The speaker uses an example of a wealthy man physically abusing a woman to highlight a lack of emotional control. They stress that regardless of one's status or wealth, resorting to violence is a sign of immaturity and a lack of emotional intelligence. The speaker advocates for communication and self-control as key aspects of emotional maturity. They also touch on the idea that real men do not resort to physical aggression and that emotional maturity is crucial for handling life's challenges.

10:02

🏡 Pursuing Independence and Self-Sufficiency

The speaker talks about the need for men to be independent and self-sufficient. They argue that comfort should not be the ultimate goal but rather fulfillment through hard work and discipline. The speaker shares their personal journey of moving out and becoming independent, which has allowed them to support their family. They stress the importance of not just living for oneself but also working towards being able to provide for others, such as parents. The paragraph also touches on the idea of sacrificing short-term pleasures, like playing video games, for long-term goals.

15:04

📝 The Importance of Planning and Self-Care

In this paragraph, the speaker highlights the importance of having a to-do list and planning one's day. They mention the example of a friend who takes notes and has a structured approach to personal development. The speaker also emphasizes the basic life skills one should have, such as cooking and doing laundry, to be truly independent. They argue that these skills are not just for survival but also for personal growth and self-sufficiency. The message is about taking control of one's life by being organized and capable of self-care.

21:12

🎵 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

This paragraph serves as a conclusion to the speaker's message. They reiterate the importance of the points discussed in the previous paragraphs, such as personal responsibility, emotional maturity, independence, and self-sufficiency. The speaker expresses their hope that the audience will take something valuable from the talk and apply it to their lives. The paragraph ends with a positive note, encouraging the audience to embrace the journey towards personal growth and self-improvement.

Keywords

💡Manchild

A 'Manchild' in the context of the video refers to an individual who, despite being of adult age, exhibits immature behaviors and fails to take responsibility for their life. The speaker uses this term to describe someone who blames others for their shortcomings instead of taking accountability. For instance, the speaker mentions that a Manchild might still blame their parents for their current life situation, rather than understanding that their life is their own responsibility.

💡Accountability

Accountability is a central theme in the video, emphasizing the importance of individuals taking responsibility for their actions and life outcomes. The speaker argues that a man should be 100% accountable for his life, meaning he should not blame external factors or other people for his circumstances. Accountability is illustrated through the idea that one cannot expect others to do the work for them or change their life; it's a personal duty.

💡Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is discussed as a key attribute of maturity, which involves the ability to manage one's emotions effectively. The video uses the example of a celebrity physically assaulting a woman to highlight a lack of emotional intelligence. The speaker stresses that regardless of one's status or wealth, it's crucial to handle emotions maturely and avoid resorting to violence or harmful behaviors.

💡Self-sufficiency

Self-sufficiency is presented as a mark of adulthood, where one is capable of providing for oneself without relying on others. The speaker encourages the audience to work towards being independent, which includes having one's own place to live and being able to support oneself financially. This concept is tied to the idea that only by being self-sufficient can one become a provider for others, such as family members.

💡Fulfillment

Fulfillment is contrasted with comfort in the video, with the speaker advocating for the pursuit of a meaningful life over a comfortable one. Fulfillment is achieved through hard work, discipline, and accomplishing personal goals, as opposed to seeking immediate pleasure or ease. The speaker suggests that a Manchild might prefer comfort and instant gratification, whereas a mature individual seeks long-term fulfillment.

💡Responsibility

Responsibility is a recurring concept in the video, signifying the duty one has towards oneself and others. The speaker asserts that an individual's life is their own responsibility and that blaming others for one's situation is a sign of immaturity. Responsibility is also tied to the ability to provide for oneself and one's dependents, showcasing a transition from being a dependent to becoming a provider.

💡Discipline

Discipline is highlighted as a necessary trait for achieving one's goals and dreams. The speaker shares personal anecdotes about sacrificing leisure activities, like playing video games, to focus on work and studies. Discipline is portrayed as the ability to resist immediate temptations and distractions in order to work towards long-term objectives.

💡Independence

Independence is described as a crucial step towards maturity and self-sufficiency. The video emphasizes the importance of not depending on others for basic needs such as food, shelter, and emotional support. The speaker encourages the audience to strive for independence as a means to eventually support others and achieve personal growth.

💡Comfort

Comfort is presented as a trap that can hinder personal growth and development. The speaker warns against seeking only comfort and ease, suggesting that it can lead to complacency and a lack of ambition. Instead, the video promotes the idea of facing challenges and stepping out of one's comfort zone as a path to true maturity and success.

💡To-do List

A to-do list is mentioned as a practical tool for organizing one's life and responsibilities. The speaker advises the audience to write down their tasks and goals to maintain focus and direction. This concept is used to differentiate between the structured approach of an adult and the aimless wandering of a child, emphasizing the importance of planning and organization in achieving success.

💡Basics

The 'basics' in the video refer to fundamental life skills such as cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. The speaker argues that knowing how to perform these tasks is essential for independence and self-sufficiency. These skills are presented as a foundation for building a stable life and are contrasted with the dependency often associated with childhood or immaturity.

Highlights

The first sign of being a Manchild is blaming others for your life's shortcomings.

Life is your responsibility, and you must be accountable for it 100%.

Manchildren expect others to do the work for them, lacking self-accountability.

Some hold grudges against their parents for their life's circumstances.

Emotional intelligence is crucial for handling life's challenges maturely.

A real man knows how to express emotions without resorting to violence.

Boys cry and throw tantrums; men find ways to persevere through difficulties.

Manchildren expect love and praise, unlike adults who focus on self-improvement.

Independence is key to becoming self-sufficient and not chasing comfort.

Having your own life means being able to provide for others who depend on you.

Manchildren still engage in childish activities without a sense of responsibility.

Discipline is shown by sacrificing temporary pleasures for long-term goals.

A man should have a to-do list to stay organized and focused on personal growth.

Basic life skills like cooking and doing laundry are essential for self-sufficiency.

Being independent means taking care of your own needs without relying on others.

Manchildren lack the ability to handle basic adult responsibilities.

The importance of writing things down and having a structured approach to life.

The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to reflect on their own behaviors.

Transcripts

I know this one's going to be tough as

hell for some of y'all excuse my

French but I got to keep this 100% real

bro if it's one thing I do I got to keep

this 100%

real the first sign that you are a

Manchild is that you still blame people

for the fact that you're not where you

want to be in life and not just in life

let me correct that the first sign that

you are a Manchild is the fact that you

still point fingers and

complain at other people because you're

not where you need to be in your

life it's not just in life it's your

life and I think that's what men forget

sometimes is that your life is your

responsibility your life you have to be

accountable for that 100% man

Can't Nobody Do that work for you y'all

know can't nobody do it for

you

can't so when you a Manchild you still

think somebody could do the work for

you you you still think somebody is

going to do the work for you you still

actually think that you're where you're

at in life and it's somebody else's

fault instead of taking

accountability some of y'all still

holding on to grudges because your

parents didn't to do a good job some of

y'all still upset that you ain't had no

dad growing

up most my childhood for real mama was

the was the one for me man mama mama

raised me single

mom I'm not mad at anybody we're winning

we're doing great we're elevating

because it's my life it's my

responsibility and Mama did a great job

and I'm grateful for that but if she did

a bad job I'd still be grateful because

God still woke me up

and life is still my responsibility my

life is still up to

me and that's a good thing y'all think

that's a bad thing y'all think that

that's more stress you think that that

that that that's more

pressure but that's actually a very good

thing because it means that you can do

something about it you can make

something happen you can make your life

better you have the power to do that you

got the power to change things

around your life doesn't have to look

like how it's been looking for the past

five 3 4 years it can look different if

you do different things if you put the

work in if you show up for yourself your

life could look totally

different so you're a Manchild because

you're thinking that it's somebody

else's fault you're blaming people

you're pointing

[Music]

fingers right let me be honest I live in

America right now you know everything

kind of expensive bro you you feel

me and you know I stay out of the you

know but I'm just saying everything kind

of

expensive and whoever our leader is

right

now he ain't doing too too good and the

reason I bring that up is I could be

pointing fingers and saying because of

who's in charge the economy is bad and

I'm not happy about that and it's their

fault why I don't have no money

instead of taking it into my own hands

and saying well if I got to get a second

job so be it that's the purpose-driven

mindset if I got to go harder then so be

it if I got to work more then so be it

and also trusting that God is going to

make a way for you as

well that's the true

leader right so guys man we can complain

about everything we could complain about

money we could complain about who's in

leadership we could complain about our

life we could complain about our friends

get better friends you have the power to

do that nobody is keeping you in this

like this little holding cell you guys

think that you know you're you're

somewhere and you can't move please stop

thinking that please understand that you

have the power to move you have the

power to create change you have the

power to transform your

life you got the power to do

that you are powerful beyond

measure but the problem is you try to

measure you try to measure how powerful

you really are and you always come up

short you always come up short cuz

that's not the true answer you don't

think that you could do anything about

your life but you can do everything

about your life it's your life so you're

a Manchild when you think that it's

other people's fault for why you're not

where you're supposed to be at number

two you're a Manchild if you don't know

how to handle yourself

emotionally I was looking at video

footage of a you know a celebrity out in

Hollywood I don't want to say no names I

don't need my channel being you know no

drama Channel nothing like that but it

was bad it was really bad and he was

beating on this girl beating on this

girl beating on this girl I'm talking

about this is a billionaire this is a a

wealthy man

bro a man that definitely has something

to

lose on top of that the morality is not

there where's your morals you don't put

your hands on no woman you don't put

your hands on nobody unless somebody is

literally trying to harm you or harm

your loved ones

okay but he was beating on his girl

somebody that he said that he

loved beating on her you know why the

emotional intelligence is not there I

don't care how intelligent you are about

making money I don't care how

intelligent you are about being a public

figure and being you know a celebrity

none of that matters when you putting

your hands on people that you shouldn't

be putting your hands on bro none of

that

matters none of that

matters we have to be emotionally

intelligent and now your legacy and

everything that you work for it's all

gone to waste because you don't know how

to control your emotions you got angry

with

somebody instead of talking it through

and expressing how you feel in that

moment

as men we can't always result to let me

put my hands on you that's some Childish

things bro that's very childish

bro we got to be more mature we got to

have more a more mature approach we have

to a real man knows a real man ain't

putting his hand on a

woman and a real man understands the

value of talking talking through

things being a emotionally mature will

save you from a lot of those situations

being emotionally mature will help you

when times are tough that's very

important what really separates a boy

from a man is that boys don't really

know how to control their emotions so

they cry you know they cry a lot you

know they uh throw Tantrums that's what

I mean when I say cry cuz if you a grown

man and you crying you that's okay

especially if you alone you at home you

going through a tough time that that's

okay bro

[Music]

but you're not supposed to be crying

every day all day you're not supposed to

be throwing Tantrums every day all day

like little boys

do we got to find a way to okay we cry

all right then we got to we got to keep

going but with boys they they stop and

they throw Tantrums they throw Tantrums

ah because you didn't get your way well

understand that life is not fair and you

may never get your way but you still got

to keep on going you still got to keep

on

going so emotional intelligence is

highly

important and understanding that you're

responsible for your life is highly

[Music]

important what else makes you a Manchild

you're a Manchild if you chase Comfort

versus

fulfillment babies want to be

comfortable they want to be comforted

they want kisses they won't love you

have to understand as a man you might

you might not get that bro it might be a

lonely season for you

we know as men we don't even get

compliments y'all

know people don't even compliment us

like

that y'all

know don't expect praise don't expect

love if you expect love and you expect

Praise You are a

Manchild because only children expect

love and expect praise they expect a job

well

done but as men the only expectations we

need to have is of ourselves did we put

the work in today did we do good today

did we achieve our goals and dreams

today those are the expectations that

you need to have stop expecting people

to love you stop expecting people to

shower you with praises stop expecting

people to compliment you you may never

get

that you got to believe in yourself

enough you got to love yourself enough

you got to respect yourself

enough another reason why you could be a

Manchild bro is that you are not working

on having your own in

life oh Malik I'm 18 I still live with

my parents is that okay of course that's

okay of course that's

okay as long as you're working towards

getting out of

there we have to work towards having our

own here's why it's important to be

self-sufficient I just want you guys to

be self-sufficient I want you guys to be

able to be independent as a man because

once you're independent you're able to

have dependence a dependent means that

somebody is dependent on you and your

success and your

money maybe you guys want to retire your

mom one day you want to help her out

with the bill so she don't got to work

as hard well that means that you have to

turn her into a dependent and that only

happens when you become independent as a

man that means you're putting in the

work that means you're grinding you're

working hard you're being disciplined to

the point where your mom is able to not

work another day in her life because she

raised you that's what I want to happen

for me that's what pushes me to go

forward

right we got to learn to be independent

if I was still in my mama house it' be

hard for me to take care of her one day

because I'm getting comfortable I'm

chasing comfort

I'm chasing Comfort I care about being

comfortable instead of saying let me go

out into the real world and let me let

me face the realities of the world let

me have my own so I can give back to my

mom and speaking on Comfort again

remember we need to be chasing

fulfillment and fulfillment is that

feeling that you get when you do

everything that you say you were going

to do for the day that's important don't

forget

that striving for your own striving to

have your own

you know how good you're going to feel

when you finally have your first

apartment you have your first apartment

you know how good that feels come on

man I know that feeling it's a great

feeling I got the keys to my own

house right it's not me bragging or

boasting I got the keys to my own

spot because I put the work in

and I got to pay rent every month nobody

could pay it for me I'm not expecting

nobody to pay it for me I'm not

expecting a miracle to happen I'm

expecting to put in this

work another sign that you are a man

child is you still do childish things

all day every day

247

hey one thing that I love right I love

NBA 2K I love NBA

2K I love watching basketball I love

playing basketball right and I love

playing basketball on my PS5 and what I

had to realize bro is I had to put that

down for a little bit

bro you know I put games Away really for

about 3 years I just got games back I

used to play on my Xbox one every day

after school I used to play all day

every day all day every day and then I

asked myself can I sacrifice something

that I love so I could start the work

and Chase my goals and dreams instead

and that's what I did my freshman year

of college my sophomore year of college

and my junior year in college I gave all

my Xbox One games and all that to my

little

brother I don't play games no

more now I started to play games a

little bit because I realized that I'm

no longer a slave to the games I could

put in the

work I'm getting closer to my goals so

when I want to you know have a little

bit of fun I put the games on especially

because I don't party or go out to drink

or do none of that stuff so you know The

Games Keep Me Happy The Games Keep me

relaxed so as a man I'm not saying you

can't play games what I'm saying is can

you

sacrifice if you're not willing to

sacrifice that's

childish just for a little bit can you

go without can you test yourself to see

are you really the man that you say you

are are you really

disciplined and I'm telling you you know

a lot of the times when you keep playing

video games

24/7 what do you think is

happening it's taking time away from

what really matters it's a

distraction and the one thing that I

hate is distractions it's action over

distractions action over distractions

all day every day we got to put the work

in we got to put the action in

we got

to you keep playing with childish things

you keep doing childish things as a

child I would play my game every day cuz

I could I was a child but as a man I got

a schedule I got things to do I got

things to

[Music]

complete another sign that you are a

Manchild is that you don't have a to-do

list you just going with the flow you

just think that you so smooth you got

everything in your head please write it

down please write it down one of y'all

brothers let me shout out brother Sahar

we talk every single month do you know

what Sahar is doing he writes down every

single one of these videos to help

himself improve he writes down notes not

only is he taking notes he has a to-do

list and some of y'all don't have a

to-do list you just moving with the

flow it's important to take notes it's

important have a to-do list it's

important to know what you got going on

in your life it's important to write it

out but see we don't become writers

anymore we got to write we got to read

we got to critically think use the tools

that is given to

you even if you got to write in your

notes on your phone just write down in

your notes bro today this is what I have

to do

children go throughout their day and

they don't really have a to-do list why

because their parents are telling them

wake up their parents are telling them

go to school their parents are telling

them do your homework their parents are

telling them eat

dinner oh my God everything is made for

you you just got to live you just got to

hop in the car somebody's taking care of

you

somebody is taking care of

you somebody is taking care of

you but as you grow older as a man you

realize you have to take care

ofself you have to take care of

self you got to take care of

yourself you got to take care of

yourself which means you got to make

schedule

yourself another sign you're a Manchild

is you don't know how to cook or fetch

for

food or do your

laundry the

basics the

basics every human being it doesn't

matter if you a man or a woman everybody

need to know how to cook how to

clean how to take care of themselves

because that's what it means to be

independent and self-sufficient that's

what it means to build your kingdom you

know how to do these

things you don't want to depend on

people you want to be able to be

independent and if somebody can come

into your life and they can help you

cook or cook for you then that's a

blessing but you should know how to at

least cook eggs bro I can't cook much

but I could cook eggs and if I had to

cook you know chicken and stuff like

that then I could do it but I got a girl

and she helps me out and I'm very

thankful for that I'm very grateful for

that and I do things that she don't have

to worry

about as of right now I'm covering

rent she's very thankful for that

everybody got their role to play but let

me tell you bro when she's sick you know

I'm I'm making breakfast

I'm doing my

best because I I have that skill now it

ain't hard to make eggs but damn it you

need to know how to make something so

you can

[Music]

survive My mama taught me how to do

laundry I know how to do my

laundry I may not be as skilled I may

not be as great as doing these things I

may not be 100% with chores but I at

least know the basics so I could be

independent

and as a man you have to try to do the

basics so you can be

[Music]

independent nobody's going to care or

cater for you 100% that's what children

are looking

for mama can you do this mama can you do

that but when you a man it's

bro you on your

own you on your own

I love y'all I feel like this is a solid

list this was off the The Dome off the

top man off the you know what I'm saying

so I love y'all I hope that y'all can

take something from this and I'll see

y'all in the next video peace

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]