I’m 50 years old Japanese man struggling with midlife crisis. Things that my wife hates me.

Askjapan
19 Sept 202417:31

Summary

TLDRIn this video, the creator discusses a recent family crisis that led to an urgent meeting with his wife. He admits to being overly absorbed in his YouTube channel, neglecting family time, which was a significant reason for his wife's temporary departure. They also address the stress from her volunteer work at their daughter's kindergarten, their children's behavioral issues, and the untidiness of their home due to his hobby as a toy collector. The creator acknowledges his shortcomings and the need for a better work-life balance.

Takeaways

  • 🕒 The video script is set in the late evening, indicating a personal and reflective tone.
  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The speaker and his wife had an urgent family meeting to address relationship issues and stress.
  • 🏠 The wife had left the family home temporarily but returned within the same day, causing concern for the speaker.
  • 🛍️ The wife's departure was due to needing a break, which she spent shopping to relieve stress.
  • 📹 The speaker's YouTube channel growth has led to him devoting all his energy to content creation, neglecting family time.
  • 🚫 The wife is uncomfortable with the idea of their private life being shared on the speaker's YouTube channel.
  • 🏡 The family's home is often untidy, which the wife finds stressful to manage, especially with the speaker's hobby taking up space.
  • 👶 The couple's children, particularly their daughter, are growing and becoming more challenging, affecting the family dynamic.
  • 📈 The wife's involvement in their daughter's kindergarten as a volunteer has added to her stress and responsibilities.
  • 🎉 The speaker acknowledges that he has not been fully present in family events, which has been a point of contention.

Q & A

  • Why did the speaker and his wife have an urgent family meeting?

    -They had an urgent family meeting to address the stress in their relationship and to discuss why the wife had left the house for a few hours, which was a significant event for the speaker.

  • What was the main reason the wife left the house for a few hours?

    -The wife left the house to go shopping as a way to release stress, needing a break from the pressures of their daily life.

  • Why was the speaker's wife feeling stressed?

    -The wife was feeling stressed due to her responsibilities as a helper at their daughter's kindergarten, the behavior of their children, and the untidiness of their home.

  • How has the speaker's YouTube channel impacted his family life?

    -The speaker's devotion to his YouTube channel has led to him spending almost all his time on it, which has caused him to be less present and engaged with his family, leading to stress and dissatisfaction for his wife.

  • What was the wife's reaction to the idea of the speaker making a video about their conversation?

    -The wife did not agree with the idea of making a video about their conversation, as she values her privacy and does not want to expose their family's personal issues to the public.

  • What is one of the reasons the speaker's house is always untidy?

    -The house is untidy partly because the speaker uses one of the rooms to store his collection of toys and gadgets, which makes it difficult for his wife to keep the house clean.

  • How does the speaker's daughter's behavior affect the family dynamics?

    -The speaker's daughter has been behaving naughtily, which adds to the stress in the family and makes it challenging for the parents to manage her, especially when she misses her daily nap.

  • What was the speaker's attitude towards celebrating their 14th wedding anniversary?

    -The speaker initially gave up on the idea of celebrating their 14th anniversary at a fancy restaurant with their kids, which disappointed his wife and contributed to her decision to take a break.

  • Why did the wife feel that the speaker was not participating enough in family events?

    -The wife felt that the speaker was not participating enough in family events because his focus was primarily on his YouTube activities, which left him less available and engaged in family matters.

  • What was the speaker's realization about his behavior towards his family?

    -The speaker realized that his behavior, particularly his obsession with his YouTube channel, was disrespectful to his family and that he needed to devote more time and energy to his family.

Outlines

00:00

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family Urgency: A Break for Stress

The narrator discusses an urgent family meeting with his wife to address relationship issues. His wife had left him for half a day due to stress, but returned after shopping. The narrator admits that he has been devoting all his energy to his YouTube channel, which has caused a strain on the family. His wife's objection to being filmed for a video is highlighted, as she values privacy and does not appreciate the public exposure of their family life.

05:01

📱 Distractions and Disconnections

The narrator confesses that his focus on his YouTube channel has affected his family life. Despite spending time with his children, he is often distracted by his phone and YouTube analytics. His wife's dissatisfaction with his behavior and the lack of privacy in their lives is emphasized. The narrator also acknowledges that his wife's volunteer work at their daughter's kindergarten adds to her stress, contributing to the family's tension.

10:02

🏠 Chaos at Home: The Impact of Responsibilities

The narrator's wife is overwhelmed with her new responsibilities at their daughter's kindergarten, which includes early mornings and late evenings without compensation. Their daughter's behavioral changes and the need for a daily nap are discussed, along with the challenges of maintaining a clean and organized home. The narrator admits that his YouTube hobby, which involves collecting toys, has contributed to the messiness of their home, causing additional stress for his wife.

15:06

🎥 The YouTuber's Dilemma: Balancing Family and Fame

The narrator reflects on his decade-long career as a YouTuber and the impact it has had on his family life. He mentions his multiple YouTube and TikTok accounts and the constant pressure to create content. His wife's desire for him to be more involved in family events, such as their anniversary, is highlighted, along with his perceived lack of participation. The narrator acknowledges that his dedication to his online presence may have come at the expense of his family's well-being.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Urgent Family Meeting

An urgent family meeting refers to a crucial gathering of family members to address pressing issues or conflicts. In the video, the narrator mentions having an urgent family meeting with his wife to discuss and fix their relationship issues. This concept is central to the video's theme as it sets the stage for the discussion of personal and family challenges.

💡Stress

Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. The script mentions the wife needing a break due to stress, indicating it as a significant factor leading to her temporary departure. Stress is a recurring theme in the video, highlighting the impact of external pressures on family dynamics.

💡YouTube Channel

A YouTube channel is a platform for creators to upload and share videos with an audience. The narrator discusses how the growth of his YouTube channel has consumed his energy, affecting his family life. The channel serves as a metaphor for the competing demands between career and family, a common struggle depicted in the video.

💡Privacy

Privacy refers to the state or condition of restricted access or disclosure. The wife's concern about her privacy and not wanting to be featured in videos is mentioned, reflecting a personal boundary that the narrator had to respect. Privacy is a key concept in the video, emphasizing the balance between public life and personal space.

💡Volunteer Work

Volunteer work involves doing tasks or jobs for others without payment, often to help a person or organization. The wife's volunteer role at the kindergarten is highlighted, showcasing an additional source of stress and commitment that contributes to the family's challenges.

💡Naughty Child

A naughty child is one who behaves badly or mischievously. The script describes the daughter's behavior as naughty, which is a source of stress for the parents. This keyword is used to illustrate the typical challenges of parenting and the need for patience and understanding.

💡Messy House

A messy house is a dwelling place that is untidy or cluttered. The narrator admits that his hobby of collecting toys has contributed to a messy house, causing additional cleaning burdens for his wife. This term is used to symbolize the physical manifestation of disorganization and the domestic responsibilities often overlooked.

💡Anniversary Celebration

An anniversary celebration is a commemoration of a significant event, typically a yearly recurrence. The narrator discusses missing an opportunity to celebrate their 14th wedding anniversary, which is a missed chance to reinforce their relationship. This keyword is used to underscore the importance of special occasions in maintaining family bonds.

💡Participation

Participation implies being involved or engaged in an activity. The wife's desire for the narrator to participate more in family events is mentioned, indicating a need for shared experiences and a more active role in family life. Participation is a central theme in the video, emphasizing the importance of involvement in family activities.

💡Complaints

Complaints are expressions of dissatisfaction or dissatisfaction with something. The narrator uses the term to refer to the issues his wife has with his behavior, highlighting the communication of grievances as a step towards resolving conflicts. This keyword is integral to the video's narrative of addressing and resolving issues.

💡Content Creation

Content creation involves the process of producing various forms of content, such as videos, for online platforms. The narrator's focus on content creation for his YouTube and TikTok channels is a significant theme, illustrating the potential conflict between professional commitments and family life.

Highlights

Urgent family meeting held at 11 p.m. on a Wednesday night to address relationship issues.

Wife left the family for half a day due to stress, highlighting the need for a break.

The husband's full-time dedication to his YouTube channel was identified as a major stressor for the wife.

The wife's role as a volunteer helper at their daughter's kindergarten added to her stress.

Their daughter's behavioral changes and need for a daily nap were discussed as family challenges.

The husband's collection of toys and use of a room as storage contributed to a messy home environment.

The wife's dissatisfaction with the husband's prioritization of YouTube over family time was expressed.

The couple's 14th anniversary was overshadowed by the husband's lack of interest in family events.

The wife's need for privacy and dislike of being featured on YouTube was a point of contention.

The husband acknowledged his potential disrespect towards family privacy by considering content for YouTube.

The husband's realization of the impact of his YouTube activities on family life and his wife's stress.

The wife's involvement in school events and the time commitment it required from her.

The couple's discussion on the importance of balancing work and family life.

The husband's commitment to making videos every day for over 10 years, impacting family dynamics.

The wife's request for the husband to be more involved in family events and responsibilities.

The husband's reflection on his behavior and the need for change to improve family relationships.

Transcripts

play00:01

hi it's almost 11 p.m. on Wednesday

play00:07

night so

play00:10

I me and my wife had a

play00:15

family urgent family

play00:19

meeting to fix our relationships and

play00:25

uh especially you know how

play00:30

we we were talking about how we were

play00:34

happily living

play00:36

together without each other's

play00:40

stress so and the reason why I had

play00:45

urgent on

play00:48

ENT family meeting with my wife is

play00:54

that 3 days

play00:56

ago 3 days ago she left me even though

play01:01

she came back within the same day after

play01:06

like 6 hours a half a half day absence

play01:12

without taking any funkers you know I

play01:16

thought she was she was gone and she she

play01:20

you know she she would go she would

play01:24

leaving

play01:25

me me and my kids but eventually she

play01:30

came back so she was just you know uh

play01:34

she she needed a break and uh actually

play01:38

she just went to shopping and uh release

play01:42

her stress

play01:45

so but it was my first

play01:49

time for me to have like half day

play01:54

without any without saying anything

play01:57

suddenly you know but actually actually

play02:00

she she said to

play02:01

me uh I I would like to go out and I

play02:06

needed the time I needed the break so

play02:08

and she left me and my f my my kids on

play02:14

Monday and uh it was a holid day um it

play02:18

was

play02:19

a public day the bank day bnk holid day

play02:24

in

play02:25

Japan so and then she came back and uh I

play02:32

thought that we needed we would need

play02:36

talk about what's going on and

play02:40

why she wanted to leave and why she had

play02:46

been so

play02:48

stressful why

play02:50

she became so nervous and

play02:53

so why she began to Hate Everything not

play02:59

hate everything

play03:01

exaggeration but uh I needed to talk to

play03:05

her and then actually I was going to

play03:10

make a

play03:12

video that I'm going to show a real

play03:17

conversation between me and my wife as I

play03:21

promised in the previous video so I was

play03:26

trying and uh I asked her if

play03:30

it is okay it will be okay for me to

play03:34

make a video to show the reality to show

play03:39

the real conversation for the family M

play03:43

but she didn't agree with the idea and

play03:50

she actually she said to me

play03:53

that's this is why I left her I left you

play03:59

that that's why you know this is the

play04:01

reason the biggest one of the biggest

play04:03

reason she doesn't like do my you know

play04:07

behavior and what I have

play04:10

done recently so actually since this

play04:17

YouTube channel has become bigger and

play04:22

bigger my energy I I actually I have

play04:26

been deot I have been devoting

play04:29

my energy 100% my energy into making

play04:35

videos and uh you know and thinking

play04:39

about

play04:40

that

play04:42

what I can create the

play04:47

boss in the YouTube

play04:50

so

play04:52

that's that was um actually one of the

play04:55

biggest reason that see didn't

play05:01

like because you

play05:04

know

play05:06

even even during the weekday we

play05:12

weekends when I you know I have I have

play05:16

Day

play05:18

offers

play05:20

actually I was trying to my best I was

play05:23

trying to my do my best to focus on you

play05:27

know the taking care of my kid

play05:30

playing with my kids but uh yeah I have

play05:33

to admit that you know I have to admit

play05:35

that not 100% I was not focusing on

play05:41

playing with my kids so every you know

play05:43

while I was playing with my kids so if I

play05:48

have some spare time I couldn't help but

play05:54

watch my you know YouTube channel and a

play05:57

YouTube Studio where you you can you you

play06:01

can you can watch you can you can check

play06:04

what's going on your YouTube channel and

play06:07

uh so every time every time and uh maybe

play06:11

you

play06:13

know almost

play06:16

almost 24

play06:18

hours except you know except I'm I'm I'm

play06:22

sleeping almost all

play06:25

day I'm

play06:27

watching smartphones to

play06:31

check my YouTube channel my the YouTube

play06:34

studio and uh sometimes I'm I'm checking

play06:38

my Tik Tok account and a Tik Tok

play06:41

Studio to to see if you know my

play06:46

channel how what's going on my latest

play06:50

videos so this is the one of the biggest

play06:54

reason reasons why she actually left me

play06:59

and uh why she needed a break so I

play07:04

wanted to show I wanted to

play07:07

show the real

play07:10

conversation between me and my

play07:13

wife but uh like explained she doesn't

play07:18

like the idea to show off her face her

play07:23

privacy everything and another thing she

play07:27

doesn't like is that you know

play07:30

I everything surrounding me I thought

play07:34

that it's good content it could be the

play07:37

good contents for for you to know for

play07:40

you to understand for you to take a look

play07:42

at the reality Japanese family's reality

play07:47

but she doesn't like to show off

play07:49

everything for example the messy house

play07:52

messy room and uh maybe you know um our

play07:57

kids faces shouldn't I think I I should

play08:01

I think I should hide I should

play08:04

cover I should respect their privacy but

play08:07

uh I actually what I what I what I was

play08:11

doing was disrespectful to my family so

play08:15

this is the second reason she hated what

play08:19

I have done what I what I what I had

play08:23

done so and

play08:26

also in addition to

play08:30

that what I messed up so these are the

play08:33

some of the reason why she she needed a

play08:39

break so the first one is a stressful

play08:43

stressful job for the Kinder Garten

play08:46

Kinder Garten Kinder Kinder Garden so

play08:50

she has become one of the I don't know a

play08:53

helper to my daughter's school it's

play08:58

actually not 100%

play09:00

volunteer however she actually she was

play09:03

selected as the helper one of the helper

play09:07

to support the school event and uh

play09:11

actually this Saturday we will have have

play09:14

the big big sports day for her for my

play09:18

for our daughter so and then the she has

play09:22

to go actually she she had to go almost

play09:27

every day to kindergarten without any

play09:29

payment without without any paycheck

play09:33

even though she receives like 100

play09:38

dollar per semester but it's almost a

play09:42

volunteer

play09:43

volunteer so and then actually she had

play09:47

to do so much things to prepare the

play09:52

school events so and uh she had to wake

play09:55

up like 5:00 in the morning and I come

play10:00

back came back to like I don't know my

play10:02

two or three evening so

play10:07

and

play10:08

entire day she has to and and and and

play10:12

and even in in in her spare time

play10:16

actually she had to

play10:19

face her computer to make some documents

play10:23

for the school events so she has she has

play10:27

been so stressful

play10:29

because of her respons the new challenge

play10:33

new responsibility and it was not her

play10:37

actually but the school actually made a

play10:41

decision made a selection for how to

play10:44

become the school helper so number two

play10:49

is our children became no deer and no

play10:52

dear I don't know how to say I don't I I

play10:56

I can't I can't find exact

play10:59

word or phrase to

play11:02

express especially our daughter so our

play11:05

daughter for years old has been so nauy

play11:10

no noty and no noer and

play11:13

noer we understand that you know she

play11:17

it's time now she has become from a

play11:21

little baby to a small kid and uh we can

play11:26

imagine that the more the more more she

play11:30

learn the more she learn the bigger she

play11:35

has bigger stress she

play11:38

has and uh we have to understand and uh

play11:43

actually she needs a nap she needs a

play11:48

nap like one hour or one one and a half

play11:52

hour nap every day but if she misses the

play11:58

napping nap she becomes crazy she

play12:02

becomes crazy like during the evening so

play12:08

she doesn't listen anything at all what

play12:13

me and my wife says say to

play12:17

her so and and then

play12:21

especially on this

play12:24

Monday she was crazy crazy naughty she

play12:28

was screaming

play12:31

shouting and uh didn't listen and didn't

play12:36

listen award from ours

play12:40

so and then number three

play12:43

is our

play12:45

house our house always becomes untidy

play12:50

untiy and uh actually

play12:53

always always she tries to clean up our

play12:58

rooms

play13:00

living room our children rooms and our

play13:04

bedrooms and uh I think it is my my

play13:10

fault because you know I'm a YouTuber

play13:14

and I I I'm not sure if you are familiar

play13:16

with myself so I used to be a toy

play13:22

YouTuber YouTuber futuring on the toy

play13:26

review so that's why I have collected so

play13:30

many toys and uh actually one of my one

play13:36

of

play13:36

my one room one of my room of our house

play13:41

actually is

play13:44

occupied my toys and

play13:47

uh even though I almost gave up

play13:51

collecting and I I almost gave up you

play13:54

know to be to be a toy YouTuber YouTuber

play13:58

for featuring the toy you know review I

play14:01

still I still I still have been

play14:06

collecting many toys many gadgets so

play14:10

that's my of my hobby so however I

play14:15

actually use my I have used one of my

play14:18

room as

play14:19

storage even though the room should not

play14:24

be used as storage but uh it's so messy

play14:28

it's so messy and every

play14:32

time it is it was hard it was hard it

play14:36

was my wife to clean up the

play14:38

room and uh I think I I already

play14:43

explained the situation my small

play14:47

Devotion to my family so my biggest

play14:52

devotion so far had

play14:55

been to not to my family but to you know

play15:00

YouTube

play15:02

activity so I actually I have been

play15:05

YouTuber for over 10 years actually and

play15:09

uh I started Tik Tock five years ago and

play15:14

uh I have

play15:16

like five accounts of Tik Tok and a 10

play15:20

accounts of YouTube channel so every

play15:23

time every day every day never ever

play15:27

stop never ever stopping making videos

play15:33

every day

play15:35

3665 days and uh 24 hours not 24 hours

play15:39

maybe you know except my except I I'm

play15:43

sleeping so I I have been devoting 100%

play15:49

of my energy to making

play15:52

videos so and maybe I I didn't intend to

play15:57

do so but uh maybe for her maybe I look

play16:02

I have I have looked

play16:05

like I gave up like you know the playing

play16:09

with kids and

play16:11

uh I maybe I sacrificed to playing with

play16:17

my kids and uh she actually she needed

play16:20

me to participate in more like family

play16:25

events and uh yeah the the good good

play16:28

example remember was that Monday was the

play16:32

our uh anniversary our celebration we we

play16:35

were supposed to have the one of the big

play16:38

biggest family event event but uh you

play16:42

know I I didn't listen to her and even

play16:45

though I pretended to listen her listen

play16:48

to her but uh like explained in my mind

play16:53

I thought that it would be difficult for

play16:55

me and my wife to go to fancy restaurant

play16:59

with kids of course with kids of course

play17:02

to celebrate our 14th

play17:04

anniversary but the the from the start

play17:08

from the beginning I actually I gave up

play17:10

so maybe she knew that so that's why she

play17:14

doesn't she didn't like the idea and my

play17:17

behavior toward family event so all this

play17:22

is just a part of part of the complaints

play17:26

I shouldn't I shouldn't say complaints

play17:28

Maybe

play17:30

does thing

Rate This

5.0 / 5 (0 votes)

Étiquettes Connexes
Family DynamicsYouTuber LifeMarital IssuesStress ManagementParenting ChallengesWork-Life BalanceJapanese CultureContent CreationFamily ReconciliationSelf-Reflection
Besoin d'un résumé en anglais ?