HOW TO STOP TANTRUMS FOREVER! (3 Easy Steps) | Dr. Paul

paulthomasmd - Dr. Paul

4 Oct 201908:39

Summary

TLDRIn this video, Dr. Paul shares effective strategies for managing difficult behaviors in preschoolers and young children. He emphasizes three key methods: isolation timeouts with no emotional reaction, redirecting negative behavior before it escalates, and using 'Instagram moments' to reinforce positive actions with enthusiastic praise. A parent shares her success story, explaining how these techniques transformed her child’s behavior, resulting in fewer tantrums and a more peaceful home environment. Dr. Paul encourages parents to try these simple but effective techniques and share their results.

Takeaways

😀 Parents struggling with difficult preschool-age behavior (e.g., tantrums, hitting, biting) will benefit from advice shared.
😲 One parent had a breakthrough after applying the recommended strategies, transforming their child's behavior.
🤖 Strategy 1: Use timeouts with isolation and no emotion. Parents should act like a robot, remaining calm and neutral.
🛏️ Timeouts should occur in a safe place, like the child’s room, and the child is only released when they calm down.
👀 Strategy 2: Use redirection to divert a child’s attention before they act out (e.g., pointing out something interesting).
📸 Strategy 3: Use ‘Instagram moments’ to positively reinforce good behavior by energetically praising small actions (e.g., complimenting their outfit).
🌈 Parents should aim for 20 positive moments per day to shift the child's attention towards good behavior.
🙌 The parent who implemented these strategies saw a significant improvement in their child, with fewer tantrums and no more aggressive behavior like biting.
💡 The real success came from changing the parent's approach, not blaming the child.
💬 While the comment section is disabled for safety reasons, the video encourages viewers to try the tips and share the video with others.

Q & A

What age group of children does the video primarily address regarding behavior management?
-The video primarily addresses the behavior management of preschool-age children, though it also mentions some early school years.
What kind of behavioral issues are discussed in the video?
-The video discusses various behavioral issues, including tantrums, hitting, biting, and general out-of-control behavior in young children.
What is the first strategy recommended for handling difficult behavior in children?
-The first strategy recommended is using 'time out' in isolation, where the child is placed in a safe space with no emotion or anger shown by the parent, similar to a robot. The child can come out when they are calm.
Why is it important for the parent to act like a 'robot' during the timeout process?
-Acting like a 'robot' ensures that the parent remains calm and emotionless, avoiding giving the child any emotional reactions that might encourage further disruptive behavior.
What is the second strategy for managing children's behavior mentioned in the video?
-The second strategy is 'redirecting,' where the parent distracts the child from engaging in unwanted behavior by drawing their attention to something else, like toys or activities, before the misbehavior occurs.
How does the 'redirect' strategy help in managing difficult behavior in children?
-The 'redirect' strategy helps by distracting the child from their intended disruptive behavior, preventing the action from occurring and thereby avoiding the need for discipline afterward.
What is the third strategy discussed for managing children’s behavior?
-The third strategy is called the 'Instagram moment,' where the parent uses energy and excitement to describe and praise positive behavior or things they observe, reinforcing good behavior with attention.
Why is it called the 'Instagram moment' strategy, and what does it aim to achieve?
-It is called the 'Instagram moment' to convey the idea of capturing positive moments with enthusiasm, similar to sharing highlights on social media. It aims to reinforce positive behavior through verbal acknowledgment and attention.
How did implementing these strategies affect the child mentioned in the video?
-Implementing these strategies led to a significant change in the child's behavior. The child stopped biting her sister, damaging furniture, and became calmer around the baby, resulting in a more manageable environment for the family.
What is the key takeaway from the video for parents struggling with difficult child behavior?
-The key takeaway is that consistent application of these three strategies—time out with isolation, redirection, and the 'Instagram moment'—can result in a positive change in the child's behavior, making it more manageable for the parent.

Outlines

00:00

👶 Handling Preschool Behavior: Common Challenges and Solutions

The speaker introduces the topic of managing difficult behavior in preschool-aged children, discussing various issues such as tantrums, hitting, and biting. They promise to share advice given to a parent that yielded positive results, and recount how a parent was struggling with their child’s tantrums before trying this advice.

05:03

🤖 Key Tip 1: Timeouts in Isolation with a Calm, Robotic Approach

The first strategy the speaker offers is the use of timeouts, explaining that they must be done in isolation and without emotion. The speaker emphasizes acting like a robot—calm and unemotional—when managing a child during a timeout. They recall their own experience with their children fighting and how a timeout helped, even sharing the humorous moment when they realized their children fought only when they were home.

🚗 Key Tip 2: Redirecting the Behavior Before it Escalates

The second strategy focuses on redirection. The speaker explains that when a child is about to act out, like hitting or causing trouble, it's better to redirect their attention to something else. By drawing attention to something exciting, like cars outside the window, the parent can prevent the misbehavior before it occurs.

📸 Key Tip 3: Creating 'Instagram Moments' to Reinforce Positive Behavior

The third tip, called 'Instagram moments,' is about energetically praising a child's positive actions, even something as simple as wearing a dress. The speaker encourages parents to be energetic and specific in their praise, reinforcing good behavior by paying attention to their children’s actions in a positive light.

✨ Success Story: Positive Results with a Calm and Consistent Approach

The speaker shares the success story of the parent who applied these strategies and saw a significant improvement in their child’s behavior. The child stopped biting and causing damage, becoming calmer and more manageable. The parent admits that it was their previous approach that had not been working, and this new method, especially the calmness and consistency, brought about real change.

👪 Closing Advice and Encouragement for Parents

In the conclusion, the speaker encourages viewers to follow the three tips consistently for effective results. They express disappointment about the comment section being disabled due to the pediatric nature of the content but urge viewers to share the video with others. The speaker signs off with gratitude and a hopeful message for parents who are facing similar challenges.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Timeout

A 'timeout' in this video refers to a method of discipline for children where the child is isolated in a safe space to calm down. The video emphasizes the importance of delivering timeouts like a 'robot,' without emotion or energy, ensuring that the child understands the need for quiet behavior. This is a key strategy for managing difficult behavior in preschool-aged children.

💡Isolation

Isolation is the practice of separating the child from others during a timeout. It is used to allow the child to calm down in a quiet, controlled environment. In the video, isolation is linked to the idea of managing extreme behavior, like tantrums, by removing the child from stimuli that might aggravate their emotions, giving them a chance to reset.

💡Redirect

Redirecting is a strategy used to divert a child's attention from potentially harmful or undesirable actions, like hitting or fighting. In the video, the speaker describes how parents can steer a child’s attention to something innocuous, like pointing out cars in the window, before a negative behavior occurs. This method helps avoid direct confrontation or punishment by preventing the behavior before it escalates.

💡Instagram moment

The 'Instagram moment' (formerly called 'Kodak moment') refers to a technique where parents highlight and describe positive behavior with energy and enthusiasm. In the video, the speaker encourages parents to recognize and verbally celebrate simple actions, such as wearing a nice dress or playing with toys. This builds positive reinforcement and helps children feel acknowledged and rewarded for their good behavior.

💡Tantrums

Tantrums are emotional outbursts commonly seen in young children, often triggered by frustration or an inability to communicate. In the video, tantrums are a central problem that the speaker aims to address with strategies like isolation, timeouts, and redirection. The video discusses how these outbursts can be managed effectively using structured techniques.

💡Energy

Energy in this context refers to the level of enthusiasm and engagement parents show when interacting with their children. The speaker stresses the importance of infusing positive moments with high energy to reinforce good behavior. Conversely, parents are advised to withhold energy during timeouts to avoid escalating negative behavior. This concept of energy modulation plays a key role in behavioral management.

💡Discipline

Discipline is the set of actions or strategies used by parents to correct or guide a child's behavior. In the video, discipline takes the form of timeouts, redirection, and positive reinforcement through 'Instagram moments.' The goal of discipline here is to create a consistent framework where the child understands the consequences of their actions while promoting positive behavior.

💡Parent involvement

Parent involvement is the degree to which parents actively participate in shaping their child's behavior. The video highlights how changes in a parent's approach, such as using calm timeouts or redirecting a child's attention, can dramatically alter a child's behavior. The speaker also reflects on personal experiences of realizing how their presence and actions affected sibling rivalry in their household.

💡Behavior management

Behavior management refers to the strategies and techniques used to guide and control children's actions, particularly when they exhibit challenging behaviors. In the video, behavior management is achieved through a combination of isolation timeouts, redirection, and positive reinforcement (Instagram moments). These methods aim to teach children self-control and appropriate behavior.

💡Preschool-aged children

Preschool-aged children are generally defined as children between the ages of 3 and 5. The video specifically addresses managing the behaviors typical in this age group, such as tantrums, biting, or hitting. The strategies shared are tailored for this developmental stage, where children are learning emotional regulation and social skills.

Highlights

Discussing challenges of managing difficult behavior in preschool children, such as tantrums and hitting.

The speaker mentions a parent's struggle with their child's behavior, including tantrums lasting 90 minutes.

The child's behavior was significantly different at daycare compared to home, sparking an 'aha' moment.

The speaker shares personal experience with their children fighting only when they were home.

First method: Timeouts should be done in isolation with no emotion, like a robot, to avoid reinforcing bad behavior.

Emphasizes the importance of removing all emotional energy during a timeout and allowing the child to come back when calm.

Second method: Redirecting attention before bad behavior happens by offering a distraction, such as talking about nearby objects.

The speaker explains how redirecting can prevent bad behavior and how it’s more effective than reacting afterward.

Third method: Use an 'Instagram moment,' praising the child’s positive behavior or appearance with energy and enthusiasm.

Parents are encouraged to give positive feedback 20 times a day, using high energy to reinforce good behavior.

The parent reports a dramatic improvement in their child’s behavior after implementing these methods.

The child no longer throws tantrums, bites, or damages furniture after using timeouts, redirection, and positive reinforcement.

The parent attributes the success to changing their approach, as suggested by the speaker.

The speaker emphasizes consistency in using these methods and the importance of not being drawn into emotional conflicts.

The parent shares the success story with friends, emphasizing that the methods work and bring peace to the household.