He Said She Said Part 2: How Men and Women Communicate Differently
Summary
TLDRIn this insightful discussion, communication expert Steve Rohr delves into the nuances of how men and women communicate differently, both in personal and professional settings. He explains that men tend to approach from the side to avoid confrontation, while women's direct approach can be misinterpreted. Rohr highlights that men rely on mental imagery for memory, often recalling visual details but not specific dates, unlike women who remember comprehensive details. He advises understanding rather than frustration in such situations. Rohr also touches on the fact that men process thoughts internally before speaking, while women often think out loud to reach a decision. The conversation emphasizes the importance of giving men space when they retreat and the need for active listening when women share problems, rather than immediately trying to fix them. For more insights, Steve's book can be found at RealSteveRohr.com.
Takeaways
- 👥 Men and women communicate differently in various contexts, including the workplace and personal life.
- 🚶♂️ Men typically approach each other from an angle or the side, not head-on, which can be misinterpreted as confrontational by women.
- 👩❤️👨 Men remember visual details about significant events, while women tend to remember the exact date and circumstances.
- 🤔 Men are more likely to forget dates because they focus on mental imagery rather than specific details.
- 🗣️ Women often speak before they think, using conversation as a way to process their thoughts, unlike men who process internally before speaking.
- 🧠 Men process conversations internally before expressing them, which can lead to misunderstandings about their level of care or concern.
- 🏠 When a man needs space or retreats to his 'man cave,' it's important to give him time alone rather than trying to 'fix' the situation.
- 👂 Listening is crucial when a woman has a problem; men should focus on understanding and empathizing rather than immediately trying to solve the issue.
- 🔧 Men have a natural tendency to want to fix problems, but women often just need to be heard and validated.
- 📚 For more insights, Steve Rohr's book can be found on his website, RealSteveRohr.com.
Q & A
How do men and women typically approach each other differently?
-Men usually approach each other from an angle or the side, not head-on, while women tend to approach directly from the front.
Why might a man perceive a woman approaching him from the front as confrontational?
-A man might see a direct frontal approach as confrontational because it is not the typical way men approach each other, which is more often from an angle or the side.
What is the difference in how men and women remember significant dates?
-Men tend to remember the visual imagery and how their partner looked on significant dates, but may not remember the exact date. Women, on the other hand, remember the date, time, and even details like what shoes they wore.
Why might a man forget an anniversary, according to the communication expert?
-A man might forget an anniversary because when in love, men focus on mental visual imagery rather than dates, whereas women engage in memory activity that includes the date.
What does a study suggest about how men can show they care?
-A study suggests that if a man engages in an activity that demonstrates he cares about a woman's emotions, it can be enough to show his concern.
How do men and women differ in their thought processes before speaking?
-Men process their thoughts internally before speaking, often having made a decision by the time they verbalize it. Women, however, often speak to process their thoughts out loud, seeking to figure out what to do.
What should you do when a man needs his own time or retreats to his 'man cave'?
-When a man retreats to his space, it's important to give him time alone. Women should avoid trying to fix the situation, as this can make the man feel more vulnerable.
What is the typical reaction of women when they have a problem?
-Women often want to talk about their problems and seek someone to listen to them. They are not necessarily looking for solutions but rather the act of being heard.
How should men respond when a woman needs to talk about a problem?
-Men should listen attentively without trying to immediately fix the problem. Understanding and acknowledging the woman's feelings is more important than offering solutions.
Where can one find more information or resources from the communication expert mentioned in the script?
-You can find more information and resources from the communication expert at his website, RealSteveRohr.com.
Outlines
🗣️ Communication Differences Between Men and Women
The paragraph discusses the distinct ways men and women communicate, both in personal and professional settings. It highlights that men tend to communicate by making statements, while women ask questions. The expert, Steve, explains that men approach each other from the side or an angle, not directly, which can be misinterpreted by women as confrontational or evasive. The paragraph also touches on how men remember events through visual imagery, often recalling the visual details but not the exact date, unlike women who remember the entire context. It suggests understanding rather than anger when men forget dates like anniversaries. The importance of recognizing that men show care through actions rather than words is emphasized, and it mentions that men process thoughts internally before speaking, unlike women who often think out loud. The paragraph concludes with advice on giving men space when they need it and the importance of listening to women without the intent to fix their problems.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Communication
💡Approach
💡Memory Activity
💡Emotional Care
💡Processing
💡Decision-Making Protocol
💡Man Cave
💡Active Listening
💡Vulnerability
💡Real Steve Rohr
Highlights
Men and women communicate differently, and understanding these differences is crucial for effective communication.
Men typically approach each other from an angle or the side, not head-on, which can be misinterpreted as confrontational by women.
Women tend to approach men from the front, which they see as a normal way to greet someone, but men might perceive it as confrontational.
Men often remember visual details of significant events but may forget the exact date, unlike women who remember the details extensively.
Men are less likely to remember anniversaries due to their focus on mental imagery rather than specific dates.
A study suggests that showing care through activities is enough for men to express their emotions.
Men process thoughts internally before speaking, unlike women who often speak while thinking.
Women process information out loud, seeking input and discussion, which is a part of their decision-making protocol.
Men need personal space or 'man cave' time to process thoughts and feelings, which should be respected.
Women often want to fix problems and be part of the solution, which can be perceived as intrusive by men in need of space.
When a woman has a problem, men should listen attentively without trying to fix it immediately, as women value being heard.
Men's instinct to fix problems can be counterproductive when women simply need empathy and understanding.
Understanding and respecting these communication differences can lead to better relationships and workplace dynamics.
The expert's book can be found at RealSteveRohr.com for further insights on gender communication.
Transcripts
WE ARE GETTING TIPS.
RYAN: WE COMMUNICATE A LITTLE
DIFFERENTLY SO HOW DO WE FIT
TOGETHER?
TERESA:
COMMUNICATION EXPERT
STEVE OR STOPPED BY TO GIVE SOME
TIPS.
WE HAVE YOU HERE BEFORE AND
YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW MEN
AND WOMEN COMMUNICATE
DIFFERENTLY.
MEN AND
WOMEN COMMUNICATE
DIFFERENTLY AND IT DOES MATTER.
YOU HAVE SOME POINTERS TO
EXPLAIN.
WE COVERED THAT WOMEN ASK
QUESTIONS AND MEN MAKE
STATEMENTS BUT THERE ARE A
NUMBER OF OTHER WAYS THAT WE CAN
LOOK AT MEN AND WOMEN AND HOW
THEY COMMUNICATE IN THE
WORKPLACE AND IN OUR PERSONAL
LIFE.
ONE OF THE THINGS PEOPLE DON'T
REALIZE IS THAT MEN DO NOT
APPROACH MEN FROM THE FRONT.
IF YOU EVER SEE MEN APPROACH
EACH OTHER, THEY ARE GOING TO
APPROACH FROM AN ANGLE OR THE
SIDE.
NOT HEAD ON.
A WOMAN WILL APPROACH A MAN FROM
THE FRONT BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE
THAT IS THE WAY YOU APPROACH
SOMEBODY, WHICH IT REALLY IS
.
THE MAN WILL SEE THAT AS
CONFRONTATIONAL.
IF A MAN DOES NOT APPROACH HER
FROM THE FRONT, SHE SEES THAT AS
TRYING TO AVOID SOMETHING.
SO WHY
CAN'T HE REMEMBER THE
ANNIVERSARY?
THERE IS A REASON.
IT IS BECAUSE WHEN A MAN
IS IN
LOVE, THEY START HAVING VISIONS.
IT IS ALL ABOUT PICTURES AND
MENTAL, VISUAL IMAGERY.
BUT A WOMAN WILL START THE WHOLE
MEMORY ACTIVITY IN HER BRAIN.
THE MAN WILL REMEMBER THAT YOU
LOOK BEAUTIFUL ON THAT DATE --
BUT HE MIGHT NOT KNOW THE
EXACT DATE.
THE WOMAN WILL
KNOW THE DATE,
TIME, WHAT HER SHOES LOOKED
LIKE, THE WHOLE NINE YARDS.
SO DON'T GET MAD AT YOUR
SPOUSES.
OR JUST TRY TO HAVE SOME
UNDERSTANDING.
A STUDY SHOWS THAT IF A MAN
TRIES TO SHOW THAT HE CARES, IF
THERE IS AN ACTIVITY SAYING "I
ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR
EMOTIONS" THAT IS ENOUGH.
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?
IT IS A START.
UP NEXT, WOMEN KIND OF SPEAK
BEFORE THEY THINK.
I HAVE DONE IT.
HOWEVER, MEN PROCESS MORE.
YOU ARE RIGHT.
BY THE TIME A MAN OPENS HIS
MOUTH, HE HAS ALREADY PROCESSED
THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION HE HAS
HAD.
SO WHEN HE SAYS IT OUT
LOUD, IT
IS NOT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T CARE
ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, IT IS
BECAUSE HE HAS ALREADY MADE THE
DECISION.
WOMEN WILL PROCESS OUT LOUD.
THEY WILL TALK TO THEIR
GIRLFRIENDS AND THEIR
HAIRSTYLISTS.
ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN.
BECAUSE YOU ARE TRYING TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO.
THE MEN WILL THINK SHE CAN'T
MAKE A DECISION, BUT THIS IS
JUST DECISION-MAKING PROTOCOL.
ALL RIGHT.
SO WHEN A MAN BACKS UP A LITTLE
BIT, NEEDS HIS OWN TIME, LEAVE
HIM ALONE, RIGHT?
IF HE RETREATS TO HIS MAN
CAVE, JUST LEAVE HIM THERE.
WOMEN WANT TO FIX IT.
THEY WANT TO BE PART OF THE
SOLUTION.
THAT
IS PROBABLY THE WORST THING
YOU CAN SAY BECAUSE HE IS
ALREADY FEELING SO VULNERABLE.
HE WILL COME TO YOU.
JUST MAKE SURE HE KNOWS YOU'RE
THERE.
IF A WOMAN HAS A PROBLEM OR A
SITUATION, YOU HAVE GOT TO
LISTEN TO HER.
YOU'VE GOT TO STOP WHAT YOU
ARE DOING AND LOOK AND NOT THAT
YOU UNDERSTAND AND JUST LISTEN
BECAUSE MEN WANT TO FIX
EVERYTHING, LIKE FIREFIGHTERS.
IF THERE IS A SITUATION THAT
NEEDS FIXING THEY WOULD HOSE
EVERYTHING DOWN BUT THAT IS NOT
WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT.
THEY JUST NEED YOU TO LISTEN AND
NOT.
I'M GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND IT.
WHERE CAN WE FIND YOUR BOOK?
YOU CAN FIND ME AT REAL STEVE
ROHR.COM.
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