4 Habits For Quiet Men That Make You Look Bad Ass
Summary
TLDRIn this video, Tom Hardy's unique approach to confidence is explored. Despite social anxiety, he exudes charisma by embracing authenticity and not seeking universal approval. Hardy's willingness to polarize, be genuine in reactions, and prioritize his comfort over appearing flawless are highlighted. The video suggests that by accepting fear and imperfections, one can build genuine confidence. It concludes with a promotion for 'Charisma University,' a program aimed at enhancing social skills and confidence.
Takeaways
- đ Tom Hardy's charisma stems from his confidence, which is built on a few core mindsets rather than conventional body language advice.
- đ Hardy is comfortable with polarizing opinions, understanding that not everyone will like him, which allows him to make a strong impression.
- đŁïž Authentic reactions are key to Hardy's confidence; he reacts genuinely to people rather than trying to please everyone.
- đ€ Hardy's willingness to show vulnerability, like admitting his fears and imperfections, paradoxically boosts his confidence and makes him more relatable.
- đ ââïž He doesn't shy away from being imperfect, often prioritizing honesty over appearing flawless, which people find attractive.
- đ Hardy's comfort in his own skin is evident when he delays an interview to get more comfortable, showing that he values his own comfort.
- đ Prioritizing personal comfort over seeking others' approval can lead to increased confidence and authenticity in social situations.
- đŹ Hardy's interviews show that he's not afraid to be himself, even if it means going against social norms, which draws people to him.
- đ The video suggests that to build confidence, one should focus on being authentic, comfortable, and not overly concerned with others' approval.
- đ The script promotes a program called 'Charisma University' as a resource for those seeking to improve their social confidence and charisma.
Q & A
What is the key mindset that Tom Hardy has adopted to project confidence despite his social anxiety?
-Tom Hardy has adopted a mindset of not trying to make the whole world like him, being willing to polarize, and being comfortable with the fact that some people won't like him.
How does Tom Hardy's attitude towards polarizing people contribute to his confidence?
-Tom Hardy's attitude of being willing to polarize people allows him to make a strong impression rather than no impression, which in turn boosts his confidence.
What habit does the script suggest to help build confidence by getting used to polarizing people?
-The script suggests allowing oneself to have authentic reactions to other people, which helps build confidence and get used to the idea of polarizing people.
How does Tom Hardy's approach to interviews reflect his confidence?
-Tom Hardy's confidence is reflected in his wildly different reactions to interviewers based on how they act and what they ask him, showing that he is there to see if he likes them rather than trying to impress them.
What is the paradox that Tom Hardy embodies regarding his fear and confidence?
-The paradox is that despite experiencing fear, Tom Hardy has learned to be confident while still experiencing some fear, showing that one can be confident and fearful at the same time.
Why does admitting one's imperfections help in building confidence?
-Admitting imperfections helps build confidence because it shows authenticity, which people are drawn to, and it sends a message to oneself that they are good as they are without needing to hide parts of themselves.
How does Tom Hardy's approach to interviews differ from what most people do when they want to impress someone?
-Unlike most people who may awkwardly laugh at bad jokes or pretend to be interested in a boring conversation to impress, Tom Hardy is authentic and reacts based on how he genuinely feels about the interaction.
What is the advice given for those who are nervous in social situations and want to appear flawless?
-The advice is to stop trying to look flawless and instead be honest about one's fears or imperfections, as this authenticity is more appealing and helps in building self-confidence.
Why is prioritizing one's own comfort important for confidence according to the script?
-Prioritizing one's own comfort is important for confidence because it shows that a person is not solely focused on getting others' approval, which can make them more genuine and less nervous in social situations.
What is the Charisma University program mentioned in the script and how does it help with confidence?
-Charisma University is a program that helps individuals become more confident and charismatic by teaching them how to start conversations, hook people in the first few minutes, and build real connections. It includes a step-by-step guide and comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee.
Outlines
đ Tom Hardy's Unconventional Confidence
This paragraph discusses how Tom Hardy, despite having social anxiety, has developed a charismatic and confident persona. Hardy often defies conventional body language advice, such as slouching or fidgeting, yet he maintains a confident demeanor. The core of his confidence lies in his willingness to polarize and not seek universal approval. Hardy's authenticity is highlighted through his varied reactions to interviewers, showing that he values his comfort and personal opinions over impressing others. The paragraph suggests that by embracing polarizing, being authentic, and prioritizing personal comfort, one can project a strong and confident image.
đ The Power of Authenticity and Comfort
Paragraph 2 delves into the benefits of direct candor and prioritizing one's own comfort in social situations. It explains that admitting to imperfections can lead to authenticity, which draws people in, and that sharing these imperfections can build self-confidence. The paragraph contrasts the short-term ease of hiding flaws with the long-term damage to self-esteem that can result. It uses Tom Hardy's candid discussion of his personal struggles with addiction as an example of how to be open about one's challenges without shame. The narrative encourages starting with small revelations to build comfort and suggests that prioritizing personal comfort over others' approval can lead to a more confident and genuine social presence.
đ Transforming Social Skills with Charisma University
The final paragraph shifts focus to the benefits of the Charisma University program, which aims to enhance social confidence and charisma. It shares testimonials from members who have experienced significant improvements in their social lives, relationships, and self-confidence after completing the course. The paragraph concludes with an invitation for viewers to join the program, highlighting its 60-day money-back guarantee as a sign of confidence in the program's effectiveness. The overall message is one of transformation and empowerment through learning and applying the skills taught by Charisma University.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄSocial Anxiety
đĄCharisma
đĄPolarize
đĄAuthentic Reactions
đĄConfidence
đĄImperfections
đĄAddiction
đĄControl
đĄAnticipation
đĄComfort
Highlights
Tom Hardy has managed to project confidence despite having social anxiety, demonstrating an unusual charisma.
Hardy often slouches or fidgets, defying conventional body language advice, yet maintains a strong presence.
His confidence stems from a core mindset of not seeking universal approval, allowing him to polarize opinions.
Hardy's interview responses show he's comfortable with polarizing reactions, as seen in his 'bag of twiglets' analogy.
Authentic reactions to people, rather than seeking their approval, contribute to Hardy's confidence.
He encourages others to shift their internal dialogue from seeking approval to assessing their own comfort with others.
Hardy's candidness about his fears and imperfections paradoxically boosts his confidence and appeal.
His honesty in interviews, such as admitting to being a 'big softy,' contrasts with the typical image of a tough actor.
Hardy's approach to interviews is to be genuine rather than to impress, which endears him to audiences.
He suggests that admitting fears can lead to a more authentic and confident persona.
Hardy's comfort with his own imperfections is a strategy for building self-esteem and confidence.
He advises against pretending to be flawless, instead advocating for authenticity even when it reveals vulnerability.
Prioritizing personal comfort over fitting in can lead to a more confident and genuine social presence.
Hardy's example of eating during an interview illustrates his comfort with disregarding social norms for personal ease.
Confidence can be built by starting with small revelations about oneself and gradually sharing more as comfort grows.
Charisma University is mentioned as a program that can help individuals quickly master social confidence and charisma.
Testimonials from Charisma University members highlight improved social lives and increased confidence.
The program offers a 60-day money-back guarantee, indicating confidence in its effectiveness.
Transcripts
despite having social anxiety growing up
tom hardy has transformed himself into
someone that oozes confidence and is
incredibly popular tom's charisma is
unusual because he doesn't follow the
normal advice you might see on something
like a body language list he'll often
slouch or fidget in conversation doing
things you're quote unquote not supposed
to do
but tom has a few core mindsets you can
steal that will instantly make you more
confident in almost any social situation
these mindsets allow him to project a
confident i don't give a attitude
that draws people to him like to say a
few words
to your public
no
uh well tom i hope we can rebuild these
bridges
[Applause]
the first thing that helps tom go into
any conversation with confidence is that
he isn't trying to make the whole world
like him he's willing to polarize he's
accepted that some people won't like him
listen to him answer the interview
question what kind of snack would you be
you know sorry more of a twiglet how
about that a bag of twiglets you would
be a bag of a
it don't you you dude love me or you
hate me either way i'm a bag of twigs i
don't i don't know anyone
one minute this mindset frees you to
make a strong impression rather than no
impression tom you're the best
it wouldn't work out but i somehow wish
that you were my dad and you could give
me
thank you so much
that said getting comfortable polarizing
is a process one habit that will help
you get used to polarizing people and
just help you build more confidence is
to allow yourself to have authentic
reactions to other people the average
person's internal dialogue is i hope
this person likes me part of tom's
confidence comes from doing the opposite
he's there to see if he likes you you
can hear this in the wildly different
reactions he has to interviewers based
on how they act and what they ask him
compare tom in these next few clips to
see what that looks like you know the
reaction to venom when we first saw in
early promos was uh social media thought
he was sexually attractive that he was
hot i mean is that was that weird i mean
is it it's a weird question
no i'm just what is the question the
question why don't you ask that question
no yeah maybe that's not a good example
of camp you don't have to wear a
mouth will you
well you know only on if i feel like it
yeah
you could lie again i've never worn
again
i was wondering if you find it difficult
for celebrities to talk about their
sexuality i don't find it difficult for
celebrities to talk about their
sexuality
um are you asking me about my sexuality
um sure
why why
um thank you okay how'd you bulk up fat
a lot of fat and trickery
a lot of fat and trickery
they do that with me here on chatty man
[Applause]
i'm actually thinking
this is obvious be authentic and react
to people based on how they act
unfortunately while most people can do
this when they're with their friends
they lose that authenticity when they're
talking to someone they want to impress
i'm sure you've seen this before
suddenly they'll awkwardly laugh at bad
jokes pretend a boring conversation is a
little too fascinating and even smile
while being insulted or talked down to
that's what happens when your internal
dialogue is i really hope this person
likes me instead next time you have a
conversation that makes you nervous
purposefully shift that internal
dialogue to something like i'm excited
to see if i like them
you'll feel more confident once you stop
treating conversations like a one-sided
tryout if this seems daunting there's an
easier first step you can take to help
you build more confidence
stop trying to look flawless
watch this next clip as an example the
interviewer asks tom why he's always
playing dark psychotic characters tom
has the opportunity to come off as cool
or tough but listen to how he answers
instead does that come away from inside
you is that like a little dark little
tom in there that i think it's because i
know what frightens me do you mean and
actually i'm a big um my big softy and
uh and that's why i'm covered in tattoos
and everything is because i'm actually
quite i'm scared of everything
most people would hesitate to label
themselves as soft or scared but
ironically for a guy who says he got his
tattoos to try to put on a fake front
tom isn't fronting he freely admits his
fear
this is the weird paradox that you can
learn from tom his fear hasn't gone away
but he's learned to be confident while
still experiencing some fear here's
another example again notice how he
prioritizes being honest over trying to
appear flawless
what scares you everything
[Laughter]
everything not being in control not
knowing
anticipation like waiting for something
to go wrong
i'm an addict and alcoholic so i have my
ups and downs
direct candor admitting things most
people would try to hide has two good
outcomes for you one people will get the
sense that you're not trying to pretend
to be something you aren't and people
are drawn to that kind of authenticity
two if you make a habit of sharing your
imperfections you will slowly build more
and more confidence in yourself because
you're messaging to yourself that you
are good as you are you don't need to
hide parts of yourself to be acceptable
for other people
lying about your imperfections may feel
easier in the short term but it will
wreck your self-esteem because you're
telling yourself that you aren't good
enough
one thing to note this isn't about
unloading on people or forcing yourself
to bring this stuff up in each instance
tom is simply being honest when
answering a question that he's been
asked if you're concerned that this will
make people like you less don't worry
for most things people are just paying
off of you to decide how they'll feel
about something if you seem ashamed
they'll think it's shameful if it
doesn't seem like it's a big deal to you
it will be less of a big deal to them
if you're not quite sure how to do this
a good trick is to use the same tone of
voice you'd use to talk about what you
had for breakfast for example listen to
tom talk about where his addictions come
from and where do you think that came
from for you i don't know i don't know i
think
my my personal issues to do with you
know alcoholism or anything like that
it's indiscriminate i don't know if it's
nature or nurture or where it came from
it's just it just is and it's what i
have and i have to deal with it on a
daily basis and do you feel you're
winning
uh yeah today is a very very good day
for tommy hardy if this still seems
daunting to you start small you don't
have to start by talking about your
deepest insecurities start by sharing
small flaws or little funny embarrassing
stories you can expand what you're
comfortable revealing about yourself as
your confidence grows the next thing you
want to do to feel more confident is to
start prioritizing your own comfort
here's a quick example where tom delays
the start of an interview so he can get
more comfortable thank you he's such a
genius man
most anxious people go into social
situations trying not to attract
attention
so rather than taking actions to be
comfortable or to stand out in a
positive way you'll try to do what you
think you're supposed to do
ironically this mindset of blending in
and doing what everyone else does
actually makes you more nervous because
you're constantly asking yourself am i
doing this right
for another example you may remember tom
hardy had a small viral moment while
promoting the movie revenant he started
eating mid-interview while leonardo
dicaprio was trying to answer a question
of course the weather was always
something that was entirely
unpredictable you know 2015 was the
hottest year in recorded history so we
had weather shifts all the time that
complicated the entire uh production
some people loved this moment for
highlighting tom's i don't give a
attitude he was hungry so he ate
people are drawn to people who seem
confident in who they are
prioritizing your own comfort shows you
aren't focused solely on getting other
people's approval
now if you only saw a few seconds of it
you might think leo and the interviewer
were upset with tom for being rude but
it actually played out totally friendly
tom he's already snacking on the smoked
chocolate chips how are they what let me
try this is really good they're good
aren't they they taste like a campfire
yeah see
put those in there
yeah yeah see
not so bad
they do taste like a campfire
this is often the case when you're
nervous in social situations you have
these fears that rarely come true but
they hold you back from enjoying
yourself or forming new relationships
now whether you want to be confident
because you're looking for a new mentor
more friends or more dates there's
obviously a lot more to that than just
what we've covered so far you have to
know how to start a conversation hook
them in the first few minutes so that
they want to learn more about you and
then build a real connection so that
they want to see you again
if you'd like a step-by-step guide that
lays out how to quickly master those
skills you may like our program charisma
university it's the fastest way to
become confident and charismatic you can
read all the details in the link below
but i figure the strongest way to let
you know what it's all about is to let
the members speak for themselves so here
are a few things that charisma
university members have written in
this first one is from someone who says
their social life has transformed they
wrote i am significantly more confident
in all social situations the connection
i feel with strangers and close friends
and family alike have increased
dramatically i transitioned from someone
who never got asked to hang out
regularly to multiple people texting me
on a daily basis many people have openly
expressed their admiration for me and i
get a lot more positive attention i've
grown so much because of this course and
i cannot thank you enough
this next one comes from a guy who's
been making new relationships
before going through charisma university
i didn't know how to bring energy to a
group and i was terrible at meeting new
people
everything in my life has improved after
cu from loving myself and others more to
creating and developing amazing external
relationships there's so much more joy
in my life and cu has been a huge reason
for it
and this last one is from a guy who
joined after a breakup he says thank you
so much for charisma university i
thought that after completing this
course i'd become a smooth talker and be
able to take over a room what i didn't
realize is i'd get that and feel so
confident in myself i feel liberated
thank you for creating this course
if you want to join but you're not sure
if it's right for you you should know
that it comes with a 60-day money-back
guarantee that means you can get a full
refund for any reason at all it's 60
days even though the course is only 30
days because we want to make sure that
every single member truly feels like
they're getting massive value from the
course if you want to learn more you can
click the link on screen now or below in
the description we've got over 8 000
members go through this course and get a
ton out of it and i would love for you
to do the same
either way i hope you enjoyed this video
and i look forward to seeing you in the
next one
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