"What Makes P*rn Addiction So Dangerous?"
Summary
TLDRThe video script discusses the complexity of overcoming pornography addiction, emphasizing that it's not about defeating the addiction completely but rather learning to resist it. It highlights the importance of understanding the underlying factors that drive the addiction and the role of environment and community in the recovery process. The video also explores the neurological aspects of addiction and the need for a holistic approach to treatment, including emotional regulation and finding meaning and purpose in life. It concludes with the paradoxical notion that for some, the addiction has led to significant personal growth and improvement in their overall life quality.
Takeaways
- đĄïž Addiction is not something you can 'beat' once and for all; it's a continuous battle where you only win the battle each day.
- đŻ The misconception of 'beating' addiction can lead to lowered vigilance and potential relapse.
- đ Overcoming porn addiction involves understanding the underlying factors that drive the addiction, rather than directly addressing the addiction itself.
- đ« Many clinicians lack specialization in pornography addiction, which can hinder effective treatment.
- đ The community aspect of addiction is crucial; changing one's social environment is often necessary for recovery.
- đ The 'community of pornography' is often loneliness, making it difficult to overcome addiction.
- đ The ease of access and ubiquity of pornography contribute to its addictive nature.
- đ§ Pornography affects the entire brain and all neurotransmitters, making it difficult to treat with a single medication or intervention.
- đĄ The process of overcoming pornography addiction can lead to significant life improvements and finding meaning.
- đ± Early exposure to pornography can shape the brain's vulnerability to addiction later in life.
- đ The recovery journey from pornography addiction often involves a holistic approach, including emotional regulation and finding purpose.
Q & A
What is the common misconception about overcoming addiction?
-The common misconception is that one can completely 'beat' an addiction as if it were a one-time opponent. In reality, addiction is a continuous struggle where one only wins the battle each day, not the war.
How does the speaker suggest approaching pornography addiction?
-The speaker suggests not trying to 'beat' the addiction but rather understanding the risk factors that contribute to it and focusing on resisting it daily.
What are some factors that drive a person towards pornography?
-Factors driving a person towards pornography can include boredom, emotional disturbance, seeking dopaminergic rewards, and using it as an emotional regulation technique.
How does the community aspect play a role in overcoming pornography addiction?
-The community of pornography is often associated with loneliness. Overcoming addiction involves finding new social connections and environments that do not trigger the desire for pornography.
What makes pornography addiction particularly challenging to overcome?
-Pornography addiction is challenging because it is easily accessible, ubiquitous, and provides a super normal stimulus that is emotionally unregulated. It also affects the whole brain, making it difficult to address with a single solution.
How does the brain's reward system relate to pornography addiction?
-Pornography affects the entire reward system of the brain, involving multiple neurotransmitters and modulators, which makes it difficult to treat with a single medication or intervention.
What is the significance of early exposure to pornography?
-Early exposure to pornography can shape the developing brain to be more vulnerable to addiction later in life, as it provides a super normal stimulus that the brain is not yet equipped to handle.
How does overcoming pornography addiction impact other areas of life?
-Overcoming pornography addiction often leads to improvements in other areas of life, such as finding meaning and purpose, building a career, and achieving physical health, as the process necessitates a holistic approach to personal development.
What is the speaker's perspective on the relationship between addiction and life improvement?
-The speaker believes that overcoming pornography addiction can lead to significant life improvements, as it forces individuals to address and enhance every aspect of their lives.
How does the speaker address the spiritual aspect of overcoming addiction?
-The speaker mentions that some patients view overcoming their addiction as a karmic process, where the addiction serves as a signal to live life in a more meaningful and authentic way.
What is the speaker's advice for those struggling with pornography addiction?
-The speaker advises focusing on building relationships, being comfortable in one's body, and addressing all aspects of life as part of the process to overcome pornography addiction.
Outlines
đĄïž Understanding and Overcoming Pornography Addiction
This paragraph discusses the misconception that pornography addiction can be 'beaten' and emphasizes the continuous nature of overcoming addiction. It highlights the importance of daily vigilance and understanding the underlying factors that contribute to the addiction. The speaker, an addiction psychiatrist, explains that addiction is not about defeating an opponent but about managing it daily. The paragraph also touches on the complexity of treating pornography addiction due to its roots in various aspects of brain function and the lack of specialized clinicians. It suggests that overcoming addiction involves more than just addressing the addiction itself; it requires understanding and managing the risk factors that contribute to it.
đĄ The Neurological and Emotional Aspects of Pornography Addiction
The second paragraph delves into the neurological and emotional aspects of pornography addiction. It explains how pornography affects the entire brain and all neurotransmitters, making it difficult to treat with a single medication. The speaker discusses the universality of the brain's reward system and how pornography taps into it. The paragraph also addresses the ease of access to pornography and its role as an emotional regulator, which contributes to its addictive nature. Furthermore, it explores the idea that early exposure to pornography can shape the brain's vulnerability to addiction later in life, and the speaker shares clinical observations on the relationship between age of exposure and addiction risk.
đ The Positive Outcomes of Overcoming Pornography Addiction
In this paragraph, the speaker shares insights from patients who have overcome pornography addiction, highlighting the positive outcomes of their journey. These individuals often report that the process of overcoming addiction led them to improve every aspect of their lives, finding meaning, purpose, and better relationships. The speaker suggests that the addiction served as a signal to live life more authentically and meaningfully. The paragraph also touches on the karmic perspective, where the addiction is seen as a catalyst for personal growth and improvement. The speaker mentions upcoming resources that will delve into these spiritual aspects of overcoming addiction.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄPornography addiction
đĄEmotional regulation
đĄCommunity
đĄDopaminergic signal
đĄNeuroscientific changes
đĄPsychotherapy
đĄSuper normal stimulus
đĄMeaning and purpose
đĄTrauma
đĄNeuroanatomy and function
đĄPost-traumatic growth
Highlights
Understanding that addiction is not something you can 'beat' but rather a continuous battle.
The misconception that addiction can be completely vanquished, leading to lowered vigilance and potential relapse.
The importance of constant vigilance and understanding the risk factors contributing to addiction.
The role of loneliness in the community of pornography and its impact on addiction.
The difficulty in overcoming pornography addiction due to the ease of access and ubiquitous nature of online content.
The brain's struggle with emotional regulation in the modern world, exacerbated by the prevalence of pornography.
The unique challenge of pornography addiction compared to other addictions, due to its accessibility and lack of physical community.
The neuroscientific understanding of how pornography affects the brain, involving multiple neurotransmitters and brain areas.
The lack of a 'silver bullet' for emotional regulation, highlighting the complexity of overcoming pornography addiction.
The impact of early exposure to pornography on the developing brain and its long-term effects.
The holistic approach required to overcome pornography addiction, involving emotional regulation and finding purpose and meaning in life.
The paradoxical positive outcome of overcoming pornography addiction, leading to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
The connection between trauma and pornography addiction, and the potential for post-traumatic growth.
The transformative journey of overcoming addiction, where individuals often find a renewed sense of self and life purpose.
The potential for pornography addiction to serve as a signal to reevaluate and improve one's life, leading to personal growth.
Transcripts
and then they'll tell me the weirdest
thing pornography addiction is the best
thing that ever happened to me and I'll
ask them well what what what makes you
feel that way help me understand how you
arrived to that conclusion and he's like
this has really made me realize what I
appreciate about life and like how
important these things are and like what
kind of life I want to
[Music]
live how long does it take to beat a
porn addiction I know this might might
sound a bit too vague but I would
appreciate it a lot if you guys would
help me especially those who have beaten
the addiction
maybe I'm asking too much but if you
guys could potentially give me tips okay
so first thing you've got to understand
is that an addiction is not you can't
beat an addiction so if you even like
use that terminology right so this
implies that there is an opponent and
once the opponent is vanquished it is
dead forever I've won the game is over
that's not how addictions work so
addictions are things that are with you
all the time you never win you just win
the battle today you can't ever really
win the war I mean you can we'll get get
to that later but so that that's the
first thing is that this is why where a
biggest mistake that so many people make
with pornography addiction is that they
try to beat it and why is that it's
because people are tired of dealing with
it so the desire to beat it comes out of
a fantasy of no longer wanting to fight
it every day working as an addiction
psychiatrist the worst thing that I want
is a patient who thinks they have beaten
their addiction because that's when the
addiction really trips you up your guard
is down now that you've won it is people
who have constant vigilance until
certain neuroscientific changes are made
that that's really when you can conquer
it but for now don't try to beat it try
to resist so how do you do that how long
does it take to beat a porn addiction so
that too depends on how many factors are
there that are driving you towards porn
and how many factors are driving you
away from porn so for example if you use
pornography to as a antidote to boredom
as long as you are bored you will have
an interest in pornography as long as
you use pornography as an emotional
regulation technique as long as your
emotions are Disturbed you will lean
towards pornography hey y'all if you're
interested in applying some of the
principles that we share to actually
create change in your life check out Dr
K's guide to mental health it combines
over two decades of my experience of
both being a monk and a psychiatrist and
distills all of the most important
things I've learned into a Choose Your
Own Adventure format so check out the
link in the bio and start your journey
today so this is where what we really
need to do is under understand okay
there's a dopaminergic signal there's an
emotional signal there's a emotionally
suppression signal and then there's a
component of just like the brain is like
if we're not doing anything today let me
at least get that hit of dopamine so
really overcoming pornography addiction
is not in addressing the addiction
directly which there is a part of that
it's really in understanding what are
all the risk factors that are
contributing to the pornography
addiction and that's what we try to do
when we do addiction Psychiatry so is
the substance itself let's use an
example of alcohol there's the whole Act
of not taking a drink but then there is
also what goes into that which is okay
let's do Psychotherapy to understand why
you started drinking in the first place
let's understand what your triggers are
let's understand like all of the par
alcoholic Behavior and the problem that
I see with a lot of people who struggle
with pornography addiction is that first
of all a lot of clinicians don't
specialize in it they don't really
understand how it works and secondly
they don't fix all of the environment
right so for example a big part of
overcoming alcohol add
is changing your community so if you go
hang out with your friends who go to the
bar or you go hang out with your friends
who are part of a frat you're going to
drink so you have to find new friends
but what's the community of pornography
the community of pornography is
loneliness so it's very difficult you
can tell an alcoholic not to go to a bar
it is far harder to tell a pornography
addict to no longer be lonely this is
why pornography addiction is
skyrocketing sure things are getting
more into the supern normal stimulus
realm but really it's that what's the
community of pornography it's loneliness
and so when we when I really see good
outcomes with people who overcome
pornography addiction they have more
meaning in their lives and they have
more Community but that's very difficult
to do so what is the bar of pornography
right so the bar is the physical
location that you go to drink where do
you watch pornography and where do you
masturbate usually at home right those
of the people that don't do it at home
are the ones who wind up on sex offender
Registries wind up up in jail those
kinds of things and so how do you get
away from your house this is why
pornography addiction is so bad today
ease of access ubiquitous super normal
stimulus emotionally unregulated
population so at what we're doing is our
brains we're getting worse and worse at
emotional regulation you see this with
all the Kens on the internet you see it
with people posting all this toxic stuff
this misogyny and all this kind of stuff
every corner of the internet is filled
with just negative emotion and then you
have safe spaces that are just vent
just vomiting all of this negative
emotion constantly and so the the the
world is becoming more emotionally
disregulated and so what is our Silver
Bullet what is the brain's Silver Bullet
when it comes to emotional regulation
pornography it's not a controlled
substance so I don't have to get someone
to prescribe it for me it's not illegal
so I don't have to like hang out with a
drug dealer it doesn't cost me my rent
usually there's a whole other aspect of
like only fans and parasocial
relationships we're not going to get
into so imagine if like heroin was like
freely available on the internet and you
don't have to pay for it right what
would use be like you just everyone had
all the equipment in their own homes so
we if you look at any addictive
substance it gives pleasure and it takes
away pain and porn does that very well
right porn is the one addiction that
accesses the one part of our brain not
the one part of our brain the one
function that accesses all parts of our
brain I'll give you all an example of
this neuroanatomy and function of human
sexual behavior or neglected known issue
so I was trying to figure out I tried to
look at like okay what part of the brain
does pornography affect sexual behavior
is regulated by both subcortical
structures such as the hypothalamus
brain stem spinal cord and several
cortical brain areas acting as an
orchestra to finally adjust this
primitive complex and versatile Behavior
chef's kiss of Neuroscience okay now
let's just look table one summary of the
brain areas involved in Su human sexual
behavior basically all of them the
reward system okay like basically your
home whole brain wait wait it gets
better neurotransmitters and modulators
summary of the main neurotransmitters
and modulators involved in regulating
human sexual behavior basically all of
them see like for example when we look
at alcohol addiction we literally have
pills you can take for alcohol addiction
things like Naltrexone and what nalone
does is it goes to the area where the
alcohol binds to a receptor in your
brain and it blocks that binding so we
can literally give you a pill that will
block the effect of alcohol in the brain
we also have medications like like
duliram so dulam is a devious medication
when we drink alcohol there are two
steps in the metabolism of alcohol I
think we turn it first into an acetal
alahh or something like that and then we
turn it into whatever the final product
is so the interesting thing is that
alcohol that middle step so it gets
turned in from A to B and B to C okay a
is okay C is okay but B is toxic as [Â __Â ]
so we give a medication that blocks the
conversion from B to C and then this
metabolite builds up and makes people
violently ill so if you take your Dulan
pill and you drink alcohol you will be
violently ill so we can do this when it
comes to a substance we can like
literally give you a pill that will make
you ill if you drink alcohol but when it
comes to pornography it affects the
whole brain all of the neurotransmitter
and so it's hard to like fix it just
like this and that's why the treatment
for treatment over coming pornography
addiction is so much more holistic right
it it involves emotional regulation
finding purpose finding meaning
hopefully having a a healthy sexual
relationship another thing that we
understand about pornography is that
it's not even about sex it's not about
relationships or lust or anything like
that many of the people I've worked with
with pornography addiction I don't know
about the majority usually get exposed
to pornography prepuberty so even before
their brain knows they're not aroused by
it at all they get this super normal
stimulus in their developing brains
which then shapes their brain to be
vulnerable to pornography later in life
and we know for example that marijuana
is a gateway drug why is it a gateway
drug because it Alters the parts of our
brain that then become more vulnerable
to addiction so it Alters the structure
of our reward circuitry and once you
alter the structure of your reward
circuitry now you can have a huge
vulnerability to addiction which is what
we see in marijuana in developing brains
and so with pornography this is what
tends to happen I've noticed that the
more the younger you are when you get
exposed to pornography appears that the
higher the risk is although I don't have
data to back that up that's just
clinical practice Tober nil is saying I
feel like I'm doomed okay so here's the
thing to understand you're not doomed
but fixing a pornography addiction in my
opinion for a fair number of people okay
so this isn't an absolute involves
fixing your life so in a sense it is
solvable and some people get really
upset by that they're like I have to fix
my whole life like sort of yeah on the
flip side having fixing pornography
addiction as your main quest in life
will necessitate that all of the things
that everybody else is doing as a main
quest become side quests now they be
they become boxes to check that you need
to do in order to fix the pornography
addiction Find meaning find purpose
build a career get physically healthy go
to the gym so as you chase this
insurmountable goal every other part of
your life will fall in order because
that's what it takes to overcome and so
it's it's actually like really
interesting because I've seen people
with pornography addiction the process
of overcoming their addiction means that
they square away every corner of their
life there's also a karmic perspective
that sometimes I've had discussions with
my patients about because I'll ask them
about this kind of stuff right because
it's about meaning so why do you think
you were given this addiction and
they'll kind of say that until I really
fixed every corner of my life like it
always came back it was a signal to me
from the universe that I'm not living my
life in the right way and then once I
started living my life the right way the
pornography addiction got fixed
literally these are my patient words not
mine then even if I did it 80% I would
relapse so I needed to really give it
100% And then they'll tell me the
weirdest thing pornography addiction is
the best thing that ever happened to me
and now I understand this because then
I'll ask them well what what what makes
you feel that way help me understand how
you arrived to that conclusion and he's
like this has really made me realize
what I appreciate about life and like
how important these things are and like
what kind kind of life I want to live
right there's all this dopaminergic
emotional regulation crap which is a
false life it's not a real life it's an
empty life and then in the process of
getting rid of that I've had to build
relationships I've had to be comfortable
in my body I've had to do all kinds of
other things right so we have a we have
a guide someone saying that this reminds
me of my trauma so this is a huge
perspective that's very important for
trauma we've done lectures and stuff on
post-traumatic growth which yall can
check out we have a guide coming up I
guess I'm spoiling it sort of so I just
finished filming a guide where we dig
into all this kind of more spiritual
[Music]
stuff
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