This Mindset Will Make You 10X More Attractive
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares his journey from feeling inferior and chasing after girls, to realizing his own worth and adopting an abundance mindset. He emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and confidence, explaining that when you stop desperately seeking validation and start valuing yourself, you become more attractive to others. He encourages setting boundaries and treating oneself as an equal or better, which he believes leads to healthier relationships where the girl respects the man.
Takeaways
- 🧠 The 'Pedestal Effect' refers to the mindset where one perceives someone else as superior or unattainable, often leading to feelings of inadequacy and desperation.
- 💭 Over-chasing or being overly attentive can signal a scarcity mindset, which can push others away rather than attract them.
- 🔄 Changing one's mindset from a scarcity to an abundance mindset can significantly alter one's approach to relationships and self-worth.
- 🚀 Building self-confidence and recognizing one's own value is crucial in not only attracting potential partners but also in maintaining healthy relationships.
- 🎯 Focusing on personal growth and self-improvement can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling dating experience.
- 💪 Physical fitness and self-improvement can bolster one's confidence and sense of self-worth, making them more attractive to potential partners.
- 💌 Treating others with respect and expecting the same in return is essential for establishing a strong foundation in any relationship.
- 🚫 Setting boundaries and standing up for oneself is a sign of strength and can increase attractiveness in the eyes of potential partners.
- 🔄 The transition from being a 'chaser' to an 'attractor' involves a shift in mindset and behavior, where one becomes less needy and more self-assured.
- 👥 Joining a supportive community or 'Brotherhood' can provide encouragement and reinforcement of positive changes in mindset and behavior.
Q & A
What is the 'pedestal effect' as described in the script?
-The 'pedestal effect' refers to the phenomenon where one person in a relationship or a potential relationship perceives their partner or love interest as superior or better than themselves. This often leads to feelings of inadequacy and a fear of losing the valued partner, which can result in desperate behavior and an unhealthy dynamic.
How did the speaker's mindset change over time regarding relationships?
-The speaker initially had a 'scarcity mindset', feeling like he was not good enough and always chasing after girls. However, over time, he adopted an 'abundance mindset', realizing his own worth and understanding that he doesn't need to settle or be desperate. This shift in mindset made him more confident and attractive to others.
What is the significance of having an 'abundance mindset' in relationships?
-An 'abundance mindset' in relationships means that one feels they have plenty of options and are not afraid of losing any one particular person. This mindset leads to healthier relationships as it promotes self-respect, confidence, and the ability to set boundaries, rather than being overly needy or desperate.
Why did the speaker's initial approach to relationships often lead to failure?
-The speaker's initial approach, characterized by the 'pedestal effect' and a 'scarcity mindset', led to failure because it created an imbalance in the relationship dynamic. His desperation and perceived low self-worth made him less attractive and caused the girls to lose interest, as they could sense his lack of self-assurance and confidence.
What advice does the speaker give for men who feel like 'chumps' in their relationships?
-The speaker advises men to change their mindset from seeing themselves as less valuable to their partners. He encourages them to build their self-confidence, set boundaries, and understand their worth. He also suggests that they should not be afraid to lose a partner and should focus on being the kind of man who can attract a partner, rather than desperately chasing after them.
How does the speaker suggest one can gain confidence in relationships?
-The speaker suggests that gaining confidence in relationships comes from building oneself up, recognizing one's own worth, and having a proven track record of accomplishments. This could include physical fitness, personal development, or other achievements that contribute to a sense of self-worth and confidence.
What is the importance of not faking confidence in relationships?
-Faking confidence can lead to inauthenticity and can be sensed by others, which can be off-putting. True confidence should come from within, based on genuine self-improvement and self-awareness. This authenticity is more attractive and sustainable in relationships.
What does the speaker mean by 'you have to become the man who has that proof'?
-The speaker means that one must have tangible evidence of their worth and accomplishments. This 'proof' is what gives them the genuine confidence to approach relationships from a place of strength and self-assurance, rather than from a place of neediness or desperation.
How does the speaker's approach to relationships affect the balance of power?
-By adopting an 'abundance mindset' and recognizing his own worth, the speaker equalizes the power dynamic in relationships. He no longer feels the need to prove himself, which prevents him from being dominated or taken advantage of by his partners.
What is the speaker's view on setting boundaries in relationships?
-The speaker believes that setting boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships. He encourages men to be assertive and stand their ground when it comes to their preferences and comfort levels, rather than being pushovers or accommodating to everything their partners want.
What does the speaker suggest is the ideal dynamic in a long-term relationship?
-The speaker suggests that in a long-term relationship, the dynamic should be one of mutual respect and need. Ideally, the girl should need the man more than the man needs her, which he believes leads to a healthier and more balanced relationship.
Outlines
🚶♂️ The Chump's Journey to Self-Worth
This paragraph narrates the personal transformation of a young man, referred to as 'Matt,' from a self-deprecating 'chump' to a confident individual. Initially, Matt believed girls were superior and felt undeserving of their attention, leading to a one-sided pursuit in relationships. He recounts a specific experience in college where he placed a girl on a pedestal, fearing loss and adopting a scarcity mindset. This mindset, however, led to his eventual rejection as the girl sensed his desperation and lack of self-worth. The turning point came when Matt realized his own value and adopted an abundance mindset, no longer chasing but attracting relationships based on mutual respect and self-confidence.
💪 Embracing the Abundance Mindset
The second paragraph delves deeper into the concept of the abundance mindset and its impact on relationships. It emphasizes the importance of not being overly needy or desperate, which makes one more attractive to potential partners. The speaker advises viewers to stop caring excessively, as this shift in attitude makes one more appealing and puts the power dynamic in their favor. He stresses the need for respect in a relationship, suggesting that a healthy dynamic is one where the girl respects the man. The speaker also addresses the issue of setting boundaries and not succumbing to 'nice guy' behavior, advocating for equality and self-assuredness in relationships. He concludes by encouraging viewers to live with abundance, to not settle for less, and to join a supportive community for like-minded individuals.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Pedestal Effect
💡Scarcity Mindset
💡Desperation
💡Mindset Shift
💡Self-Worth
💡Confidence
💡Abundance Mindset
💡Respect
💡Neediness
💡Boundaries
Highlights
The speaker reflects on his past mindset of feeling inferior to girls, which led to a constant need to win them over.
The concept of the 'pedestal effect' is introduced, where one person is placed above the other in a relationship, leading to an imbalance of power.
The speaker shares a personal story of how his scarcity mindset, fearing the loss of a girl, ultimately led to the end of a relationship.
The importance of not putting girls on a pedestal is emphasized, as it leads to a fear of losing them and often results in the opposite outcome.
The speaker describes a shift in mindset from seeing himself as less valuable to realizing his own worth and attractiveness.
The idea that girls are attracted to guys who are confident and have options is discussed, as it makes them more desirable.
The speaker advises acting as if girls already like you, which can boost confidence and make you more attractive.
The speaker emphasizes the need for genuine self-improvement to back up the confidence displayed, rather than faking it.
The concept of an 'abundance mindset' is introduced, where one feels they have many options and are not afraid to lose any.
The speaker explains that with an abundance mindset, one becomes less needy and more attractive to girls.
The importance of not settling for less in a relationship is highlighted, as one should only be with someone they truly like and respect.
The speaker advises against 'nice guy' behavior and encourages setting boundaries in relationships to maintain respect.
The idea that relationships should be balanced, with neither partner needing the other more, is discussed.
The speaker shares his wish to have known about the abundance mindset earlier in life to avoid past relationship mistakes.
The speaker concludes by encouraging viewers to join a private Brotherhood for like-minded men and access exclusive content.
The overall message of the video is to stop caring so much, as this will make one more attractive and less desperate.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and confidence in attracting the right partners.
Transcripts
I want to take you inside the mind of
younger Matt back when he was a little
chump a little s okay back when he
thought that girls were so much better
than him I'd walk around thinking that
she was so much better than me and why
why did I not feel so deserving of a
girl why did I think that I had to do
everything in my power to try to win her
over remember in my first year of
college there was this girl I actually
really
liked and I started chasing after her
right I tried to win her over that's the
common theme of a s is you try to win
that girl
over constantly there for her with all
my time and all my attention and I
thought she was better than me right so
I was afraid to lose her when you put a
girl on a pedestal like this it's called
the pedestal effect all right think
about this in your own mind if you place
something above you think about how much
harder it is to get that thing when you
say oh that thing is so much better than
me I don't deserve it that's what you're
saying that's what you're telling
yourself when you say that thing is
better than me you don't deserve it then
so it's so much harder to get but going
back on the story I eventually did win
her over right she gave me the time of
day for a little bit and we started
hanging out and I try to give her all my
time and all my
energy like constantly texting her all
the time Snapchatting her all the time
because I was afraid to lose her I had a
scarcity mindset the type of mindset
that most men have because they know
that they can't get any other girl cuz
they're like me they're they're Chumps
and so what happens when I have this
scarcity mindset what happens when you
have this scarcity mindset you're afraid
to lose that thing when you're afraid to
lose something you will lose it it's
like a law of nature all right it's
going to happen and that's what happened
with me the girl could feel my
desperation she could feel and sense the
fact that I had no options there were no
other girls that were into me so why
should she be into me you've probably
heard this before but girls like dudes
that other other girls like they want a
man who can get other girls but the
problem was I was such a s I was such a
chump that I had no options so she left
me she lost interest for me and honestly
that was a common theme for me every
single relationship I got into I thought
she was better than me I put her on this
pedestal I treated her like she was the
queen and all this
[ __ ] I never put myself
first and it bit me in the ass every
single time but if we fast forward to a
few years back I flipped my mindset
completely and I'm probably going to
sound arrogant but I don't care okay I
started going about it thinking that no
you know what I am better than these
girls why is she better than me what cuz
she has a little kitten between her legs
because she has a big
butt [ __ ] that who cares what can she
offer me once I went about it with this
mindset thinking like hang on I'm not
going to chase after her she should be
chasing after me because I've built
myself up I know my worth this is the
mindset shift you need to have you need
to act like like girls already like you
you need to act like you can get any
girl that you see who cares how big your
butt is who cares how pretty her face is
she's no better than you
dude walk around like you are the [ __ ]
telling you this is so much more
powerful you look and exude this
confidence that girls are just like they
can't get enough of you walk around like
you're the [ __ ] she will look at you
like damn he is the [ __ ] you're no
longer fearful you're no longer scared
to lose this girl you're now able to
talk to girls and think you know what do
do I like her I don't care if she
doesn't like me but do I like her
instead of in the past where you're
constantly like oh my gosh I really hope
she likes me oh oh my gosh I got to say
this thing right I got to do this I got
to make sure I don't walk on my own toes
I got to you know what I mean
like constantly trying to prove yourself
to her no you don't need to do that bro
because you are deserving of a girl of
course you are when you change your
mindset like this and realize hang on
she is no better than me just cuz she
has a big butt it doesn't matter I know
my worth I know what I bring to the
table I know that I could get any girl
in this room when you walk around like
this I'm telling you from experience the
girls will look at you the girls will
flock to you the girls will want to be
with you cuz they can feel your
confidence but like I was saying in my
previous video you cannot fake this you
actually have to have this proof that
you are the [ __ ] so that you can
actually walk around with this
confidence so if you want to build your
dream body and actually have this
confidence and also join a private
Brotherhood where you get direct access
to me along with other guys on this
Journey with you and get access to
exclusive content then scroll down right
now and click on the link in the
description and I will see you on the
inside you have to become the man who
has that proof of like yeah I know who I
am I know what I've done I know what
I've accomplished you need to have that
proof right that's when you can actually
have this confidence and look at the
girl and say yep what can you do for me
you can actually hold yourself to a
higher standard and realize that every
girl is not going to be perfect for you
you don't have to settle for the first
girl that gives you
attention because cuz what if you don't
like her what if you only think she's
attractive but she's annoying as [ __ ]
what are you going to do be with her no
cuz you're not needy anymore you're not
desperate anymore you have this
abundance mindset you have an abundance
of options you're not scared to lose any
of them if if a girl comes in your life
you are not fearful anymore you
genuinely don't care that's like one of
the main messages of this video is stop
caring so much when you stop caring so
much you become way more attractive way
more because you're not desperate the
girl now has to try to lock you down
that is the whole point put yourself on
this
pedestal and she will see you as that
guy who she can respect this is very
important if you want to get into a
long-term relationship the girl has to
respect you in the past every
relationship I got into I had no respect
from these girls because I was putting
them on this pedestal thought they were
better than
me but when you actually act like a
freaking man dude and realize your worth
she can now respect to you and you can
get into these long-term relationships
where she won't leave you because she
sees you as that man oh the abundance
mindset I wish I knew this when I was
younger dude you're going to have girls
come and go into your life you're going
to have girls that come into your life
and you realize wait I don't really like
her maybe she realizes she doesn't
really like you who cares move on Let It
Go stop caring so much you should be in
a relationship and honestly she needs to
need you more than you need her if that
makes sense that's a good place to be if
you need her more than she needs you she
has all the power my friend she has all
the power and she will eventually
realize that you are not a strong enough
man to take care of her just being
honest so this means get rid of this
nice guy simpy behavior all right if a
girl enters your life stop treating her
like she is better than you you're
supposed to treat her like she's equal
with you but honestly most men need to
pretend and act like they are better
because when you pretend and act like
you are better you come across as way
more attractive because it honestly will
even out you're used to being like this
where you think she is way better than
you but when you actually treat yourself
like you are better than her it evens
out you know what I mean it evens out
and it it balances out because yeah
anyway stop being scared to set
boundaries with her like if you don't
want her to post ass picks on Instagram
tell her okay like set that boundary put
your foot down if she doesn't like it
fine she can leave like this is how you
have to act this is way more freaking
attractive than being the guy who's like
a pushover when you tell her that and
she says actually no I'm going to keep
posting as picks on Instagram and show
off my body and just to get attention
from other men and you're the guy who
stays in the relationship with her she's
going to walk all over you buddy she has
no respect for you no respect she's not
going to love you like I said I'm
sounding arrogant in this video but this
is the type of video that I needed when
I was growing up so that's why I'm
making it as soon as I started Living
with abundance and stopped caring so
much I became the attractor not the
Chaser I knew I could get any girl
around me I knew cuz I built myself up I
had this proof but like I said you
cannot just fake this if you want to
build your dream body if you want to
surround yourself with like-minded men
and join our private Brotherhood and
also get access to exclusive content
then go click the link in the
description right now and I will see you
in there with that said leave a like
leave a comment subscribe if you are new
and I will see you in the next video
peace
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