What To Do When She Pulls Away
Summary
TLDRThe video script addresses the common issue of a woman pulling away in a dating scenario, outlining three typical male reactions that can exacerbate the situation: becoming needy, shutting down, or ignoring red flags. It advises men to reassess their feelings, respond respectfully without chasing, and be willing to let go if necessary. The key takeaway is to maintain self-respect and dignity, as women value and respect men who respect themselves.
Takeaways
- đŁ When a woman pulls away in a relationship, it can be confusing and lead to men reacting in ways that may worsen the situation.
- đ€ Men often react by becoming needy, shutting down, or ignoring red flags, which can be problematic for the relationship dynamic.
- đ It's important to reassess and reaffirm one's feelings and intentions when a partner pulls away, rather than reacting impulsively.
- đ« Avoid acting out of neediness, anger, or resentment as these reactions can push the woman further away.
- đ Communication is key; label the behavior you've noticed and open the door for a conversation without pressuring or chasing.
- đĄ Be willing to let her go if the relationship isn't aligned with your standards or if she's not ready to communicate openly.
- đ Respect is crucial; women want to be with men they respect, and acting in a way that disrespects oneself can diminish trust.
- đ€ Maintain self-respect and dignity throughout the process, regardless of the outcome.
- đ Sometimes a woman pulling away can provide valuable insights into her character and the health of the relationship.
- đ€ Be open to understanding her perspective and the reasons behind her actions, but also maintain your boundaries.
- đ The ultimate goal is to act in a way that reflects self-respect and dignity, which can positively influence the relationship.
Q & A
What is the common reaction of men when they feel a woman they are dating is pulling away?
-Men often react in one of three ways: becoming needy, shutting down and becoming defensive, or ignoring the situation and not addressing the red flags.
Why do some men become needy when a woman pulls away?
-They may feel anxious, stressed, and worried about losing the woman they are attracted to, leading to behaviors like text bombing or trying to quell their neediness through unhealthy habits.
What does it mean when a man shuts down after a woman pulls away?
-Shutting down involves catastrophic thinking, where the man may assume the worst about the situation or the woman's intentions, and decides not to bother with the relationship anymore.
How can a man's reaction to a woman pulling away affect the relationship?
-Reacting from a place of neediness, anger, or defensiveness can push the woman further away and make it harder to understand why she is pulling away.
What is the first step a man should take when a woman pulls away?
-The first step is to reassess and reaffirm his feelings and intentions, taking a moment to breathe and not immediately react to the situation.
Why is it important not to react immediately when a woman pulls away?
-Reacting immediately can come from a place of neediness or anger, which can be perceived as weakness and may hinder the opportunity for genuine communication and understanding.
What should a man do instead of chasing a woman who has pulled away?
-Instead of chasing, a man should call her in by addressing the behavior directly and opening the door for conversation, while maintaining his own standards and self-respect.
What does it mean to 'call her in' when a woman is pulling away?
-Calling her in involves initiating a conversation about the change in behavior without pursuing or pressuring her, showing respect and honesty in the approach.
Why is it important for a man to be willing to let a woman go if she pulls away?
-Being willing to let go shows self-respect and acknowledges that the relationship may not be right or that the woman may not be ready for a relationship that requires open communication and mutual respect.
What is the significance of a man maintaining respect for himself in the situation?
-Maintaining self-respect is crucial because women are more likely to be attracted to and respect men who respect themselves, regardless of the outcome of the relationship.
How can a man handle a situation where a woman is pulling away with dignity?
-A man can handle the situation with dignity by being true to himself, maintaining self-respect, and addressing the woman's behavior honestly without resorting to neediness or resentment.
Outlines
đ Handling Withdrawal in Relationships
This paragraph discusses the common issue of a woman pulling away in a dating scenario and the typical reactions from men, which often exacerbate the situation. Men may become needy, defensive, or disconnected. The speaker advises reassessing feelings and the relationship dynamic, reaffirming one's own value and interests, and not reacting impulsively. It emphasizes the importance of understanding the reasons behind the withdrawal and whether it aligns with one's desired relationship.
đŁïž Communicating with Honesty and Respect
The second paragraph focuses on strategies for re-engaging with a woman who has pulled away. It suggests acting with honesty and truth, addressing the behavior directly without pursuing or shutting out the other party. The speaker encourages maintaining standards and being willing to let go if necessary, while also respecting oneself and the other person. It highlights the importance of respect in relationships and how acting out of anger or resentment can diminish trust and respect. The advice is to be true to oneself and handle the situation with self-respect and dignity.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄPull away
đĄMasculine core
đĄNeediness
đĄDefensive
đĄCatastrophic thinking
đĄReassess
đĄReact vs. Respond
đĄLabel the behavior
đĄRespect
đĄWillingness to let go
đĄSelf-respect
Highlights
When a woman pulls away in a relationship, men often disconnect from their masculine core, leading to negative behaviors.
Men may react with neediness, lashing out, defensiveness, or resentment when they sense a woman pulling away.
Some men shut down and engage in catastrophic thinking, assuming the worst about the relationship's future.
Others may ignore red flags and act nonchalant, failing to address the woman's behavior.
Not all pulling away is negative; it can provide valuable insights into the woman's feelings and the relationship's dynamics.
Upon a woman pulling away, reassess your feelings and the relationship's dynamics to determine if it's worth pursuing.
Avoid reacting impulsively; instead, respond from a place of truth and honesty.
Label the behavior directly by addressing the change in communication and seeking a conversation.
Maintain your standards and communicate what you will and won't tolerate in the relationship.
Be prepared to let the woman go if she does not meet your standards for communication and respect.
Respect is key; women want to be with men they respect, so maintain self-respect in your actions.
Acting with self-respect can provide clarity on whether the woman is ready for a respectful relationship.
Reassess, reaffirm your feelings, and label the behavior as a way to handle the situation with dignity.
Encouragement to share personal experiences and thoughts on the video's advice for further discussion.
A reminder to subscribe and like the video for more relationship insights.
Transcripts
what do you do
when a woman pulls away
you know let's just set the frame okay
say you're dating somebody
you really like them
uh maybe that maybe you've been dating
them for a while and all of a sudden you
can feel her pull away and you're not
really too sure why you don't know if
you've done something wrong if she's
questioning something maybe she got
scared maybe she feels insecure or maybe
she's intimidated by you maybe she's
playing game maybe she's testing you but
regardless she's pulling away and you
don't really know why
it's in these moments where
a man
will generally disconnect or can not all
men obviously but a lot of men will
disconnect from their masculine core
disconnect from
strength and stability
and can become
needy can
lash out can become defensive they can
really act from a place of resentment so
generally guys do three things that
cause a bit of a problem in the dynamic
and make things even worse so number one
a lot of guys will become needy right so
they'll feel the woman pull away they'll
really like her maybe they're really
attracted to her uh maybe they've
enjoyed spending time with her or it's
like oh that's the first woman that i
could see myself like really dating or
maybe they did start dating and it's
like you know you're six months into the
relationship and she starts to pull back
you're like what the hell is going on
and so you allow your anxiety and your
anxiousness and your stress and your
worry and concern to take over and you
find yourself doomed scrolling through
social media watching too much porn or
smoking too much weed trying to quell
that neediness or you start text bombing
the cramp out of her
the second thing that some guys will do
is they'll shut down you know they'll
think like screw her she's not worth it
uh i knew this wasn't going to work
anyway and they'll go to catastrophe
right they'll go to catastrophic
thinking like she must be sleeping with
somebody else or i knew i wasn't good
enough or whatever the story is anyway
and they'll kind of say she's not worth
it or i'm not going to bother and
sometimes when that woman comes back in
guys in this category will even try and
punish that woman and so they'll make
things worse they won't allow her back
in
they won't even seek to understand
what's gone on and then finally the
third category is the guy who's kind of
nonchalant and might blind himself from
the red flags right so he can't really
see
uh whether or not this is like healthy
behavior that she's just scared and
nervous or something's going on in her
personal life
or that there's a red flag here that
she's actually acting in a really
unhealthy maybe toxic way and and this
is going to lead to some trouble
so
not all pulling away is a bad sign you
know if a woman starts to pull away it
doesn't mean it's a bad thing it doesn't
necessarily mean that you've done
something wrong it doesn't necessarily
mean that it's the end of the
relationship
in fact sometimes a woman pulling away
can be some really valuable information
into who she is and into how she views
the relationship and so you can learn a
lot from a woman pulling away so when a
woman does pull away what do you do
right how do you actually handle this
the first thing that i like to tell guys
is start by reassessing and reaffirming
so when she pulls away slow down you
know take a few breaths don't text bomb
her in for 24 hours straight
take a moment to see am i really that
into her or has my feelings for her been
amplified because she's pulling away
and really start to reassess
is this the right dynamic for me am i
really interested in dating her and
and is this type of behavior something
that i
want to live with want to tolerate and
is it something that i want to invest
more into understanding and that's the
real key thing are you interested in
investing more time energy and effort
into understanding why she's pulling
away if the answer is yes great we can
move on if the answer is no it's
probably a pretty clear sign that you
don't want to move on with the dynamic
the second thing that i tell guys is
don't react respond so when you react as
a man you react from neediness you react
from anger you react because you're
embarrassed that she's pulling away or
you feel hurt and that's coming from a
place of i need you to tell me what's
going on or i don't care and if it's
from either of those polarities you're
not going to get the information that
you want she's going to see you as weak
she's going to see you as reactive and
whatever she's going through it's going
to be harder for you to get that
information out it's going to be harder
for you to understand why is this woman
actually pulling away from me
the third thing is don't chase her call
her back in
now
this
you know when you start to sit down and
and and uh really address how you want
to re-engage her
the best thing that you can do is act
from a place of truth and honesty so you
can label right rather than pursuing her
and trying to get her intention or you
know
blocking her or shutting her out and
like i don't give a crap if she ever
calls me again
address the behavior directly so get on
the phone with her facetime her or even
just text her or voice memo her and say
hey
i noticed that i haven't heard much from
you lately i noticed that your
communication is really dropped off the
map it seems like you've disappeared or
you're ignoring what's going on and open
the door for the conversation now she
might not want to step through that door
right she might still be avoidant she
might still be
you know scared to enter into it and so
you need to remain grounded to say hey
listen i'm not gonna i'm not gonna chase
you here i wanna understand what you're
going through but i need you to
communicate because i'm not willing to
be in a relationship with somebody who
pieces out like this so have some
standards and maintain those standards
and communicate those standards of what
you will and won't tolerate in the
dynamic
the next thing is be willing to let her
go be willing to let her go maybe she's
not the right one maybe it's not the
right time for her maybe she
has lost interest and doesn't know how
to communicate it maybe she's seeing
somebody else on the side uh i mean
there's there's literally a million
different things but we be willing to
let her go not from a place of i'm gonna
teach her or from a place of anger or
shame or resentment or embarrassment but
from a place of these are my standards
the type of woman that i want to date
is the type of woman who when she starts
to pull away and i ask her what's going
on once or twice that she communicates
she steps back in she does the hard
thing and says you know what i've really
been feeling insecure or this is moving
really quickly and
i am scared that you're gonna hurt me
you know that's a very common thing for
a lot of women so she might be pulling
away because she's feeling a lot you
know she's feeling a lot of attraction
she's feeling a lot of love and uh
admiration and and and her hopes are up
and that can be the thing
that causes her to pull away so this
brings me to the last thing
which is to remember that women want men
they respect women want men they respect
women want to date men they respect they
want to screw men their respect they
want to be friends with men they respect
they want to marry men that they respect
women want to be with men that they
respect so when you
lash out or allow yourself to go into
this very ungrounded needy anxious place
or you become bitter and resentful
she will lose respect for for you
regardless of what her intentions are
right whether she's pulling away because
she's scared she's going to get hurt or
she really really likes you and she's
like i don't know what to do with this
and i don't want to mess this up or
she's pulling away because she's testing
you or she's playing some sort of a game
regardless of what her motives are if
you act in a way that is disrespectful
for you for yourself as a man she'll
feel that and it'll cause trust to be
diminished in that experience so the
best thing you can do with before
yourself for the relationship is to act
in respect and when you do that you'll
very clearly get a sign of whether or
not she's ready for a man who respects
himself and she'll act accordingly to
that so be true to you be true to you no
matter what
and handle that situation with
self-respect and with dignity so
reassess and reaffirm label the behavior
be willing to let her go if that's
necessary not from a place of of uh you
know trying to hurt her get back at her
remember that women want men that they
respect and don't chase call her in call
her in so comment below let me know what
you really resonated with about this
video maybe where you've gone wrong in
the past
maybe what you're working on right now
in your relationship or in your dating
life and tell me if you think that
there's anything that i missed don't
forget to hit the subscribe button hit
the like button if you enjoyed this
video maybe share it with somebody that
you know could use the insight and i'll
see you next week
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