Batman helps you overcome self-sabotage...#batman #thedarkknight #batmanarkhamknight #father
Summary
TLDRThe script challenges the common belief that emotions must dictate our actions, highlighting the self-sabotage that arises from such reliance. It emphasizes the importance of developing self-discipline by becoming aware of and creating distance from our emotions. The speaker introduces mindfulness as a tool to train the conscious self, allowing for better control over life's direction. The script concludes with an exercise to practice this awareness and discipline, advocating for small, consistent actions that align with one's values to pave the way for a better life.
Takeaways
- 🚫 Feelings as a Barrier: The script emphasizes that relying on feelings to dictate actions can often lead to self-sabotage and prevent us from achieving our goals.
- 🌟 Inner Leadership: It suggests that we already possess an inner leadership within ourselves that can guide us towards better decisions and actions, independent of our fluctuating emotions.
- 🔍 Awareness and Attention: Becoming aware of our emotions and paying attention to them is crucial in identifying when they are steering us in a self-destructive direction.
- 🧘 Mindfulness as a Tool: Mindfulness is presented as a practical tool for training our conscious self to disengage from autopilot and reconnect with the present moment.
- 🤔 Psychological Distance: Creating psychological distance from our emotions allows us to acknowledge feelings without being controlled by them, providing the autonomy to act independently.
- 💪 Self-Discipline Development: The script outlines an exercise to develop self-discipline, which is essential for making decisions and taking actions aligned with our values, despite emotional challenges.
- 🌱 Small Steps for Big Changes: It advocates for making small, consistent, values-oriented moves that, over time, can lead to significant transformations in one's life.
- 🌀 Dethroning Emotional Saboteurs: The process of changing our internal command structure to dethrone emotional saboteurs is not easy or quick, and it requires consistent effort and practice.
- 🔄 Overcoming Inconsistency: The script acknowledges that inconsistency is part of the process of change, and it's important not to let this deter us from our goal of progress.
- 🌟 Better Self Advocacy: Our 'better self' is interested in good outcomes rather than fleeting good feelings, advocating for decisions that are beneficial in the long term.
- 🎯 Aligning Actions with Values: The ultimate goal is to align our actions with our deepest values and best interests, even when they are not accompanied by immediate positive emotions.
Q & A
What is the common lie that the speaker refers to at the beginning of the script?
-The common lie is the belief that we must feel a certain way, such as being motivated, inspired, or energetic, before we can take action on our goals and commitments.
What does the speaker suggest is the most persistent form of self-sabotage?
-The speaker suggests that allowing feelings to dictate actions, and thus preventing oneself from accomplishing what is known to be necessary, is the most persistent form of self-sabotage.
What is the 'better self' according to the speaker?
-The 'better self' is the part of an individual that knows when they are not doing what they ought to, convicts them, and is interested in good outcomes rather than just good feelings.
Why do good feelings often not accompany the initial effort of doing something good for oneself?
-Good feelings typically do not accompany the initial effort because the hard work comes first, and the good feelings often come later, after the effort has been made.
What is the significance of creating psychological distance from one's emotions?
-Creating psychological distance is significant because it allows a person to disassociate from their emotions, enabling them to act independently of how they feel and preventing emotions from dictating their actions.
What is the role of mindfulness in addressing self-sabotage?
-Mindfulness is a tool for training one's conscious self to observe what the mind, body, and emotions are doing in response to the moment, which helps in recognizing when emotions are attempting to control one's life.
Why is it important to pay attention to our feelings when trying to prevent self-sabotage?
-Paying attention to our feelings is important because it helps identify when and how our emotions are overriding our reason and leading us down self-destructive paths, which is the first step in addressing the problem.
What is the exercise the speaker suggests to help manage emotions and prevent self-sabotage?
-The exercise involves tuning into bodily sensations, noticing surrounding sounds, focusing on the environment, and then examining an unpleasant emotion without judgment to create psychological distance and make a decision aligned with one's values.
How can the small, values-oriented actions suggested by the speaker have a significant impact over time?
-These small actions, when performed consistently over time, can have a compounding effect, leading to significant transformation in one's life and preventing emotions from sabotaging one's future.
What is the primary goal of the exercise and the training the speaker discusses?
-The primary goal is to develop self-discipline and a system for making small, values-oriented moves each time one encounters a difficult emotion, which collectively pave the way to a better and more fruitful life.
What advice does the speaker give for maintaining progress and not giving up despite feelings of faltering?
-The speaker advises to stay focused, be diligent in training, and always press forward, regardless of feelings or setbacks, with the understanding that better times and results will follow with determination and attentiveness.
Outlines
🚩 Overcoming Emotional Roadblocks
The script addresses the common misconception that emotions must dictate our actions. It highlights how feelings can often serve as barriers to achieving our goals, leading to self-sabotage. The narrator suggests that we need to develop better leadership within ourselves to override the whims of our emotions. This internal leadership is described as our 'better self,' which is always present but can be drowned out by our manic emotions. The better self is concerned with long-term outcomes rather than immediate feelings. The script emphasizes the difficulty of changing this internal dynamic, as emotions have been in control for a long time and won't relinquish control easily. It sets the stage for a journey of self-improvement that requires awareness and consistency.
🧘♂️ Cultivating Mindfulness and Psychological Distance
This paragraph delves into the importance of mindfulness as a tool for self-improvement. It explains that mindfulness is not about spiritual awakening but rather a method to train the conscious self to be present and aware. By observing our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, we can recognize when our emotions are attempting to control our actions. The script introduces the concept of 'distance,' which is the psychological space created by differentiating our emotions from our identity. This distinction allows us to acknowledge our feelings without being controlled by them, providing us the autonomy to act despite our emotional state. The narrator provides an exercise to help develop this skill, emphasizing the importance of being attentive to the present moment and our internal experiences.
💪 Taking Action Despite Emotions
The final paragraph focuses on leveraging the psychological distance created through mindfulness to take action aligned with our values, even when faced with negative emotions. It encourages examining emotions objectively, without judgment, to disassociate from them and see them as temporary occurrences within us, not defining us. The script suggests making a decision and taking action that serves our best interests, regardless of our emotional state. This action doesn't have to be grand but should be consistent and values-driven. The exercise provided earlier is reiterated as a means to develop self-discipline and to make small, productive moves that, over time, can lead to significant life changes. The paragraph concludes with a motivational note to stay focused, be diligent, and never give up, promising better times and results with consistent effort.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-sabotage
💡Motivation
💡Better self
💡Leadership
💡Mindfulness
💡Emotional regulation
💡Psychological distance
💡Self-discipline
💡Values
💡Progress
💡Attention
Highlights
The common misconception that feelings must dictate our actions is a persistent form of self-sabotage.
The importance of separating feelings from actions to achieve consistency and avoid mood-driven decisions.
The existence of an internal 'better self' that can guide actions towards good outcomes, not just good feelings.
The challenge of altering one's internal command structure to overcome self-sabotage is not easy or quick.
The need for awareness and mindfulness to identify when emotions are taking control of one's life.
Mindfulness as a tool to train the conscious self to observe and disengage from autopilot.
Creating psychological distance as a method to disassociate from strong feelings or impulses.
The distinction between experiencing emotions and identifying with them is crucial for self-control.
The exercise of noticing and examining emotions without judgment to create psychological distance.
Making decisions and taking actions aligned with deep values, even in the face of difficult emotions.
The practical exercise provided to develop the skill of creating psychological distance from emotions.
The importance of practicing mindfulness regularly to increase attunement to one's thoughts and feelings.
The compounding effect of making small, values-oriented moves consistently over time.
The transformative impact of consistently dealing with emotions and making productive moves on one's life.
The necessity of staying focused and diligent in training to develop self-discipline.
The encouragement to press forward despite feelings and setbacks for better times and results.
Transcripts
one of the most common Lies We often buy
into is the notion that we have to to
feel a particular way in order to take
action that we must feel motivated
inspired energetic or generally in good
spirits to execute upon our goals and
commitments how many times have you
intended to do something only to find
that when the time came to do it your
feelings presented you with a
roadblock how many times has your
attitude your mood your desires or
Cravings presented resist distance which
has held you back from accomplishing
what you know you
must I'm willing to wager that this
above all else is the most persistent
form of self-sabotage that you subject
yourself to you allow your feelings to
dictate what you do you subordinate
right action to the whims of your Ever
Changing
moods you can't achieve consistency
because your inconsistent feelings are
driving your
actions what you you need is better
leadership a Changing of the
Guard you need a new and more
trustworthy Captain to steer the ship of
your body and your
soul the good news is that the
leadership you need already exists you
don't have to go out of your way to find
it it's in you right now if you listen
close you can hear it your manic
emotions will often drown it out but
it's there it's always speaking to you
it's your better self the part of you
that knows when you're not doing what
you ought to the part that convicts you
the part that brought you here the part
that's resonating with what I'm saying
right now it wants good for you not good
feelings but good outcomes you know all
too well that good feelings are fleeting
things here one moment and quickly gone
on the next you also know that when you
attempt to do something which is
actually good for you good feelings
typically don't accompany the initial
effort they come later after you've
performed the hard work your better self
isn't interested in you feeling good at
least not in the near term it's
concerned with ensuring that you are
good to yourself to others and to the
Future which will ultimately result from
the decisions you make right now but to
do its job your better self must take
command so so how do we make that
happen before answering this question I
need to disabuse you of one very false
notion namely that the process of
altering your internal command structure
will be easy or quick it won't be count
on it your feelings have been steering
the ship for a very long time and they
won't give up the captain's seat easily
you will struggle you will be
inconsistent you will fall back into Old
patterns don't don't expect otherwise
and don't allow this inevitability to
shake your resolve to grow and to
change you won't do this perfectly but
Perfection isn't the goal progress
is now to Dethrone the part of you bent
on self-sabotage you'll first need to
become aware of how and when it exerts
command influence over your life you do
this in two ways by paying attention and
creating
distance
attention is one of your most crucial
weapons in the fight against your
shifting moods yet it's often
neglected intuitively you believe you
should be doing something not Naval
gazing so you skip this part and try to
force a solution via other means but it
never works time and time again you find
yourself right back where you began
scratching your head and wondering why
your erratic emotions have thwarted yet
another attempt to make genuine change
the reality is you can't address a
problem until youve first identified it
and that's what attention does it
identifies when and in what ways your
feelings override your reason and guide
you down self-destructive
paths to stop your feelings from
dictating your actions you need to catch
them in the act you need to notice when
your feelings are taking hold because
it's in noticing your feelings that
you'll begin to create the crucial space
needed to maneuver through and around
them let me be very clear on this point
every time you've allowed your emotions
to steer your life in a bad Direction it
was because you weren't paying attention
you were so fused with how you felt that
you were blind to what the feeling was
doing to you and where it was taking you
if you want to make meaningful progress
in addressing self-sabotage you must
learn to notice when your feelings have
begun to undermine the interests of your
better self to do this you'll require
training a lot of it the best way to get
that training is through
mindfulness mindfulness isn't an
exercise in Spiritual Awakening it's a
tool a method for training your
conscious self to turn off autopilot and
reconnect with what's happening right
now if you can train yourself to observe
what your mind body and emotions are
doing in response to the circumstances
of the moment
you'll be better equipped to recognize
when your emotions are reaching for the
control levers of your
life by catching your emotions in the
act of dictating your actions or
reactions you'll position yourself to
take the next crucial step in resting
back
control creating psychological
distance to act in opposition to a
strong feeling or impulse you must first
disassociate from it this disassociation
is what we'll call distance it's the
space created when you differentiate
what you feel from who you
are when you experience a powerful
impulse like anger depression or anxiety
it's common to identify with it you say
I'm angry I'm depressed I'm anxious
you're not trained to notice the
inherent distinction between the
experience and the one experiencing it
you don't realize that to feel something
is not the same thing as being what you
feel why is this distinction
important because once you become aware
of the fact that you are not what you
feel you'll soon recognize that the real
you has autonomy to act regardless of
how good or bad you're feeling you'll
realize that anger depression and
anxiety don't need to get a vote they
don't have to dictate what you do you
can move despite
them this is what distance affords you
the space to acknowledge the reality of
what you're feeling without identifying
with
it you've done this before perhaps many
times without knowing it to get along in
life you'll need to have regulated your
emotions to at least some degree have
you gone to work when you didn't feel
like it have you held your tongue when
you wanted to lash out if so you'll have
shown that you can when necessary deny
your impulses to make a more effective
decision in the moment the trick is to
do this more intentionally and with
greater
frequency fortunately I have an exercise
designed to help you do just
that if you practice this technique
regularly you'll find that over time
you'll become far more attuned to what
you're thinking and feeling which in
turn will afford you more opportunities
to establish psychological distance and
reassert command over the part of you
prone to
self-sabotage most of all the exercise
I'm going to share with you will lay the
foundation for the development of life's
most crucial skill
self-discipline to begin I want you to
take a deep breath as you make a slow
exhale tune into your body and its
Sensations feel the support under you
the texture of the surface on your skin
the temperature of the room room if
there is soreness in your body notice it
if you feel relaxed notice that
too now take another deep breath on a
long exhale focus in on the various
sounds which surround you notice at
least five of them look for sounds close
to you and sounds at a distance whatever
these sounds are don't label or judge
them just notice that they're
there take one more breath and on the
exhale open your eyes and try to notice
the details of your
environment try to make yourself as
present as
possible get out of your thoughts and
get as focused as you can on what you
can see around you notice small details
which you hadn't noticed before Focus
your vision and try to see these things
as clearly as you
can in just the span of three breaths
you're already more attuned to the
present moment you're turning off a Co
pilot and connecting with the world
around
you this is a good start you're aware
now and primed for your next
objective to develop the skill of
creating psychological
[Music]
distance to do this I'll need you to
connect with an unpleasant emotion if
you're already feeling stressed angry or
anxious that's good in fact I recommend
that you use this exercise to create
distance from difficult emotions which
arise naturally throughout your
day once you've identified or recalled a
challenging emotion I want you to
examine it without Judgment of any kind
simply notice the feeling what's its
intensity where do you feel it in your
body is the sensation steady or does it
fluctuate by putting what you feel under
a microscope you automatically
disassociate yourself from it in doing
this the distinction between the emotion
and the one experiencing it become
sharper instead of identifying with what
you feel you become the space in which
it happens much like the sky during a
storm no matter how fiercely the storm
rages the sky is not the storm nor is it
harmed by it the sky is simply the space
in which the storm happens we know this
because when the storm has passed the
sky is still there and so it is with
you no matter how intense the emotions
you're experiencing happen to be when
they've passed you'll still be there
emotions may occur within you but they
are not you it is this separation which
affords you the chance to make
independent moves regardless of what you
feel and that is exactly what I want you
to do now
leveraging the psychological distance
you've created I want you to make a
decision one which results in some
action that is aligned with your deepest
values and with your very best interest
it doesn't have to be Monumental and it
doesn't need to be complex it just needs
to meet the criteria I've
mentioned perhaps this means stepping
outside for some fresh air cleaning up
your personal space getting a workout in
or reaching out to a loved one Whatever
It Is do
it the exercise I've laid out for you
isn't difficult or time intensive it's
intended to be short and practical
something you can Implement virtually
any time and in any place when used
properly and with enough consistency it
will provide you with a much needed Edge
in dealing with difficult
emotions more importantly it will
provide you with the space to make small
productive moves with greater
consistency moves which if performed
over time will have a compounding effect
on your life an effect which will
radically transform your present
circumstances this is your primary goal
this is why you train to develop a
system for making small values oriented
moves each and every time you encounter
a difficult emotion if you can do this
consistently those small seemingly
insignificant moves will be as
cobblestones along your current path
providing sure footing and collectively
Paving the way to a better and more
fruitful life a life you can scarcely
dream of a life you could never achieve
if your unexamined emotions were left to
sabotage your
future so stay focused and be diligent
in your training no matter what you feel
no matter how much you falter never give
up up and always press forward if you're
determined and if you're attentive
better times and better results are sure
to follow and that's what I want I want
better for you so if you want the same
and if you're
ready let's go to
work
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