How To Deal With A Toxic Boss Without Losing Your Mind!
Summary
TLDRThis video, hosted by Brian from Life After Layoff, offers practical strategies for dealing with a toxic boss, a situation many encounter in their careers. Brian emphasizes the importance of first verifying if the boss is truly toxic, identifying signs like micromanagement, poor communication, and favoritism. He advises maintaining professionalism, establishing boundaries, and documenting interactions for self-protection. Seeking support from mentors or HR, if necessary, is also suggested. Brian cautions against quitting immediately, recommending exploring all options first. He stresses the importance of self-care and provides resources for those considering a job change, including resume tips and interview strategies from his website.
Takeaways
- 📝 Ensure you're actually working for a toxic boss by recognizing signs like micromanagement, lack of communication, bullying, and undermining your credibility.
- 🛡️ Maintain professionalism at all times, even when facing unprofessional behavior from your toxic boss.
- 📌 Establish clear boundaries with your boss to protect your mental well-being and communicate these professionally.
- 📖 Document everything, including instances of toxic behavior and any agreements or commitments made during discussions.
- 👥 Seek support from trusted colleagues or mentors, either within or outside your organization, for advice on handling the situation.
- 📚 Consider using your employer's Employee Assistance Program (EAP) for confidential support and guidance.
- 🛠️ If the situation severely impacts your performance or mental health, a meeting with HR might be necessary, but as a last resort.
- 💡 Explore legal options with an employment attorney if you're facing constructive discharge or illegal workplace conditions.
- 💸 Updating your resume and beginning a job search may be wise if the situation does not improve or affects your career advancement.
- 🧘 Focus on self-care to manage stress and gain clarity on your situation, emphasizing the importance of your mental and emotional health.
Q & A
What is the first step in dealing with a toxic boss according to the video?
-The first step is ensuring that you are indeed working for a toxic boss by accurately identifying their behaviors and not hastily labeling any challenging authority as toxic.
What are some signs of a toxic boss mentioned in the video?
-Signs of a toxic boss include micromanaging, narcissism, lack of communication, bullying, favoritism, intimidating tactics, undermining credibility, and unfair treatment regarding paychecks or bonuses.
Why is maintaining professionalism important when dealing with a toxic boss?
-Maintaining professionalism is crucial because it ensures that you do not stoop to the boss's level of unprofessionalism, potentially leading to a more favorable outcome for yourself in the workplace.
How can establishing boundaries help in dealing with a toxic boss?
-Establishing boundaries communicates to your boss that you will not tolerate bad behavior, helping to protect your mental well-being and potentially indicating the next steps you should take.
Why is documenting everything important when working with a toxic boss?
-Documenting everything provides evidence of the toxic behavior, which is crucial for managing upward and potentially supporting your case in discussions with human resources or legal actions.
What is the role of support from trusted colleagues or mentors in dealing with a toxic boss?
-Seeking support from trusted colleagues or mentors can provide advice, a different perspective, and potentially a senior ally, which is valuable for navigating the situation more successfully.
What should you do if the toxic behavior impacts your performance?
-If toxic behavior starts impacting your performance, consider having a closed-door meeting with human resources as a last resort, especially if you feel targeted for quiet firing.
What is the importance of self-care when dealing with a toxic boss?
-Self-care is important for reducing stress and gaining clarity on what steps to take next, helping you to preserve your mental and emotional well-being amidst a challenging work environment.
What options does the video suggest if you decide to leave a toxic workplace?
-If deciding to leave, consider speaking with an employment attorney to explore your options, and view quitting as a last resort after attempting to resolve the issue through other means.
How does the video propose using LinkedIn for job seekers dealing with a toxic work environment?
-The video suggests leveraging targeted networking on LinkedIn as a game-changer for job seekers, potentially allowing them to bypass recruiters and directly engage with employers.
Outlines
🛡️ Navigating the Toxic Boss Terrain
The video opens by acknowledging the commonality of encountering toxic bosses during one's career and emphasizes the importance of handling such situations with care rather than hastily quitting. It outlines strategies for identifying a genuinely toxic boss, including signs like micromanagement, narcissism, exclusion from communication, and public undermining. The presenter, Brian, shares his personal and coached experiences on navigating these difficult waters, stressing the importance of professionalism, setting boundaries, and maintaining performance. Brian also mentions his free newsletter aimed at empowering professionals in their career journey.
📚 Strategic Responses to Toxicity
This section delves into practical strategies for dealing with a toxic boss, including documenting interactions, managing upwards through clear communication, and seeking support from mentors or trusted colleagues. It also discusses the cautious approach of involving human resources and the potential risks associated with it. The importance of self-documentation as evidence for HR discussions or legal advice is underscored, along with a reminder that seeking legal counsel should be considered if the situation escalates to a point of unbearable toxicity. Brian concludes by suggesting self-care and professional development through his website, which offers courses and coaching for navigating job searches and career challenges.
🌱 Growth Beyond Toxic Environments
In the final section, Brian outlines additional resources available for those struggling with toxic work environments, including personal coaching and targeted courses on resume writing, interview preparation, and leveraging LinkedIn for networking. He stresses the value of skipping traditional recruitment processes through effective networking and offers support for negotiating job offers to ensure no opportunities are missed. The segment reinforces the notion that while dealing with a toxic boss is challenging, there are strategies and resources available to navigate these situations effectively and grow professionally.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Toxic Boss
💡Professionalism
💡Boundaries
💡Documenting
💡Mentorship
💡Human Resources
💡Self-Care
💡Career Strategy
💡Employee Assistance Program (EAP)
💡Quiet Firing
Highlights
Identifying if you're truly working for a toxic boss is the first step in dealing with one.
Maintaining professionalism is crucial even when dealing with an unprofessional boss.
Establishing boundaries with a toxic boss is essential for your mental well-being.
Documenting everything is a key strategy for self-preservation when working for a toxic boss.
Seeking support from trusted colleagues or mentors can provide valuable guidance.
Utilizing employer EAP programs can offer anonymous support for dealing with toxic bosses.
Having a closed-door meeting with HR should be considered a last resort.
Quitting your job due to a toxic boss is the absolute last resort and not generally recommended.
Working on self-care is important for reducing stress and gaining clarity on the situation.
Updating your resume and looking for alternative employment opportunities may be necessary.
Consulting with an employment attorney can help you understand your options in a toxic workplace.
Creating a resume that stands out is crucial for job seekers in any situation.
Networking, especially targeted networking through LinkedIn, is a game-changer for job seekers.
Personal coaching can offer a different perspective and strategy for dealing with toxic bosses.
It's important to recognize the signs of a toxic boss, including micromanagement and lack of communication.
Transcripts
in nearly everybody's career you'll find
yourself working for a toxic boss at
some point in time or another but
working for a toxic boss can torpedo
your career and everybody's first
reaction is to just quit and move on to
greener pastures but that's not always
the best answer so in this video let's
share some strategies on how you can
deal with a toxic
[Music]
boss hey everybody it's Brian from life
after layoff and today I want to share
with you some strategies on how to deal
with that toxic boss that you might find
yourself working for now inevitably
especially as you get further into your
career it's probably a statistic
likelihood that you will work for a bad
boss at some point in time or another I
certainly have in my career and there
are certain strategies that I've learned
to adopt in order to deal with these
more effectively so in this video I want
to share with you some of the strategies
I've personally used and also coached
people on how to navigate a toxic
situation specifically with with that
boss but before we get into that I
actually have a newsletter that teaches
you how to reclaim control and start to
approach your job search and your career
with more Authority and conviction and
if you're ready to power up your career
check it out it's completely free and
it's loaded with value so I think the
first step in dealing with the toxic
boss is indeed making sure that you're
working for a toxic boss and listen it's
easy to label everybody around you every
boss you've ever had and every company
you've ever worked for as toxic but the
reality is is that's just not the truth
and in some cases maybe the boss you're
working for isn't truly toxic they maybe
start the most effective lead I actually
made another video on some of the
Surefire signs that you're working for a
toxic boss so you might want to check
that one out first but some of the
things that I look for are micromanaging
if they are narcissist and narcissist is
kind of a broad term and it's kind of
used pretty Loosely we'll probably dive
into that in a future video a lack of
communication or leaving you out of
communication loops on purpose and this
might be trying to have one-on-one
meetings like a regular one-on-one sync
and they're always rescheduling or never
making time for you and inevitably the
toxic boss will always find fault in you
of not communicating enough with them
even though they're the root cause of it
and of course bullying favoritism
intimidating tactics and other things
like undermining your credibility in
public especially behind closed doors to
key decision makers reprimanding you in
public or doing Shady things with your
paychecks or cutting your bonus and
things like that so in particular you
want to look around your workplace see
how your boss is interacting with not
just you but also other people in your
department if they're consistently
treating everybody like crap then
chances are you probably do work for a
very toxic boss but if it's just you
that is being treated this way there
might be a deeper reason behind it so
assuming that you are indeed dealing
with a toxic workplace the first thing
that you really want to do is make sure
that you maintain professionalism
because even if they're not professional
with you you don't want to stoop to
their level you will certainly not come
out on top if you're trying to go
head-to-head with an unprofessional boss
the best thing you can do here even
though it might be difficult because you
have to bite your tongue is to maintain
the professionalism take the high road
double down on your performance make
sure you're meeting all of your
commitments and truly don't give them
any reason to criticize you and I've
actually personally seen certain bosses
who were particularly toxic get
dismissed or encouraged to move on as
their behavior became less and less
accepted in the workplace now I know a
lot of you are going to be thinking yeah
right that never happens but it actually
does happen if you work in a good
company with good senior leadership but
the next thing you want to do is you
want to establish boundaries and let
your boss know that you're not going to
tolerate the bad behavior and listen
sometimes establishing boundaries
especially with a toxic boss can be very
uncomfortable but you owe it to your own
mental well-being
and your career to establish some sort
of boundary and if that boss is stepping
over the line it'll give you a pretty
clear indicator of what the next steps
are for you and setting these boundaries
may require you to call them out in a
professional way when they're
overstepping the line for example if
your boss has a bad habit of calling you
late at night or over weekends you
should be firmly establishing a boundary
with them and I would say something to
the effect of it's really important for
me to spend time with my friends and
family on nights and weekends so that
can be fully recharged on Monday and
I'll be happy to sit down with you on
Monday morning to look at my schedule
together so we can rep prioritize what's
missing critical and how we can slot
this in and I realize by doing so you're
going to be pushing back fairly firmly
but you need to establish a clear
boundary with your boss otherwise you
can continue to expect nights and
weekend calls for the rest of your
career at that employer and the same
strategy works for bosses who pile work
onto you at the last minute or maybe
they ask you for something that is not
reasonable at the close of business say
the same thing I'm happy to take on this
additional project I can fit it in next
week let's sit down and look at my
calendar together and you can help me
rep prioritize what I can deemphasize so
remember to clearly communicate and
assert what the boundary is but do it in
a professional manner this next tip is
for self-preservation and this is
something that you should get into the
habit of doing anyway even if you're not
working for a toxic boss but in
particular when you are working for a
toxic boss you want to make sure that
you're documenting everything so
recording any displayed demonstration of
toxic Behavior you want to take a note
of it when it happened what the date was
if there was any Witnesses and if you
have any direct conversations with your
boss and there's a commitment that comes
out of it you certainly want to document
that and you want to send them a
follow-up email to make sure that they
know exactly what you've committed to
and what the timeline is for it the deal
here is that you're essentially managing
upward you want to let the boss know
that you are taking your job very
seriously and if you find yourself
behind closed doors with say a human
resources rep you want to make sure that
you've got very detailed and concise
notes and this is essentially evidence
that you would be using to support your
cause because toxic bosses don't often
like when people stand up to them you
just want to make sure that you've got
that in your back pocket next thing you
might want to do is seek out some
support from trusted colleagues or
mentors now this one can be kind of
sticky so be careful here because you
don't want to go to a co-worker the same
level as you and start venting
inevitably the boss will end up finding
out about it and it could get you in
even more hot water but if there's a
trusted Mentor at that boss's level or
maybe even higher you might want to go
in and just ask them for their opinion
on what's the best way to manage this
difficult situation or if you want the
safer route find somebody outside of the
organization that is at a more senior
level that can give you some advice on
how to handle this particular person but
again just know that this does come with
some risk that your boss could end up
finding out about it and it could cause
you some more grief but at the end of
the day it might be worth having a
senior Ally on your side just hopefully
they can keep the confidence another
possible option if you don't feel like
you've got any close confidence or a
trusted Mentor in your organization you
could always tap into the employer EAP
program in a lot of cases the HR
department will have a program called
the EAP now the EAP is anonymous the
human resources department does not find
out the details of why people are
calling into it and it might give you a
chance to talk to somebody that's
neutral but it might be a little bit
generic and if the toxic behavior is
particularly bad and you're starting to
notice that it's impacting your
performance in other words boss is
writing you up boss is affecting your
performance appraisals and things like
that then it might be worth having a
closed door meeting with human resources
but I would only use this as a last
resort if you feel like you've got no
other options and the boss is targeting
you for quiet firing and if you're not
sure what quiet firing is I actually
made another video about that as well
I'll leave a link at the very end of
this video you can check that one out
too but just know that going to HR will
be a very big escalation and know that
your boss will be aware of it because
the HR department will likely be
conducting an investigation so in other
words they'll probably call the boss
into the office with a list of these
questions they'll start to ask them did
you do this did you say that they might
ask other Witnesses and they'll go
through an entire thing and whether or
not that'll be a positive outcome for
you will be determined by what human
resources discovers and I've seen it
both ways sometimes the bus truly is
toxic and human resources does address
it or unfortunately I've seen it go
south where the employee suddenly has a
Target on their back so just use your
judgment trust your gut and I would only
do this in an absolute Last Resort of
course the last resort is if you feel
like you might be wanting to quit your
job as a result of it because that would
be a constructive discharge at that
point in time where the employer is
making it so uncomfortable for you that
you're essentially being forced to leave
in a lot of cases that can be illegal
and can be considered a toxic workplace
and if you're to that point you have
nothing to lose by going into the Human
Resources office and then addressing it
before you leave furthermore if it's
really toxic and you feel like you're
being unfairly targeted and you decide
to exit the business it may be worth
talking to an employment attorney in
your area to see what your options are
now keep in mind it's very hard to prove
that you're in this situation so keep
really good notes and let the attorney
determine what the best way is to help
you and to that end nothing in this
video should be construed as legal
advice because if you're truly in a
toxic situation and you don't know what
to do about it a competent labor
attorney can help help you look at your
options and keep in mind quitting your
job is the absolute Last Resort and it's
not something that I generally recommend
for people normally we can work through
a lot of these issues often is a
communication problem that you have with
your boss but if it's truly bad it might
be time for you to update your resume
and start to look for alternative
employment opportunities and the final
thing I'd recommend is working on
self-care take the time that you need to
clear your head spend time in nature get
away from the workplace as best you can
try to compartmentalize and leave it
behind and try to to focus on other
things that get your mind off of it
because often times doing things that
help you reduce your stress can give you
Clarity on what you should do next in
your situation so don't underestimate
the importance of self-preservation
self-care but if you do find yourself
looking for your next opportunity that's
actually something that I specialize in
I've got a website called a life after
layoff.com and it's loaded with tips and
tricks all from a recruiting Insider
perspective share my deepest and most
intimate knowledge in the formis some
training courses the first one and
probably the most important for most
active job Seekers is that resume and we
want to learn how to write our own resum
because it's the most important document
that you have in your career and that's
why I created a course called resumé
Rocket Fuel which is designed to teach
you exactly how to write a resume step
by step I take you through the entire
process you actually watch me write my
own I give you the template that I use
and it's a very robust course but once
you get your foot in the door to get
that first round interview then it's up
to you to Market yourself throughout the
rest of the interviewing process that's
where the ultimate jobseeker boot camp
comes in we go through each round of the
interview process give you tips
techniques and then ultimately hopefully
get you to that job offer once you get
to that job offer we make sure that you
don't leave a dime on the table and of
course if you want to skip the recruit
alog together that's the preferable
method of getting into the interview
process and that's where unlocking
LinkedIn comes in so if you're not
leveraging targeted networking that's an
absolute game Cher for you so check out
that course as well and if you're
somebody that's really struggling with
the toxic situation I do offer some
limited private one-on-one coaching
again it's not construed as legal advice
but I can give you a different
perspective from Human Resources side
and some strategy that you might want to
apply in order to navigate it more
successfully of course you can reach me
through my website for that anyway
hopefully this video is helpful and
you're not dealing with this super toxic
situation but if you are I'm here to
help appreciate you watching we'll see
you on the next one
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