You Will Never Make REAL Friends If You Keep Doing This

Summary

The video script delves into the modern struggle of finding genuine connections amid perceived superficiality. It challenges the belief that people are inherently untrustworthy, suggesting that our perceptions may be skewed by past experiences and biases. The speaker encourages introspection to dismantle these toxic mindsets, emphasizing the importance of effort in nurturing relationships. They also address the impact of unrealistic expectations and the need to question assumptions about others, advocating for open-mindedness and active engagement with the world to foster meaningful friendships.

Takeaways

• 😔 The feeling that the world is fake and people are superficial is common, but it may be more about personal biases and mindset rather than reality.
• 🤔 The saying 'you are the five people you hang out with most' is often true, but it's important to recognize that your own mindset can influence your perceptions of others.
• 🧐 If you struggle to make friends, it might be due to an untrustworthy mindset and negative perceptions of people, rather than the people themselves.
• 🌱 Changing your mindset from being untrustworthy to recognizing that most people are just busy can help in forming healthier relationships.
• 👶 Upbringing and past experiences can significantly shape your beliefs about trust and relationships, affecting how you interact with others.
• 💤 Lack of sleep can drain your charisma and effort, making it harder to engage with others. Improving sleep quality can have a positive impact on your social interactions.
• 🛌 Magnesium supplements, like Magnesium Breakthrough by Bio-Optimizers, can help improve sleep quality, reduce stress, and regulate testosterone levels.
• 🤯 Unrealistic expectations about life and people can hinder the formation of genuine friendships. It's important to question the validity of these beliefs.
• 🌐 The internet can sometimes create a distorted view of reality, making it seem like the world and people are worse than they actually are.
• 🌟 Engaging with real people in the real world can often reveal more empathy and friendliness than what is commonly portrayed online.
• 🚶‍♂️ Instead of focusing on finding 'perfect' friends, start by building relationships with positive people and putting in the effort to maintain those relationships.

Q & A

What is the main issue discussed in the video script about forming friendships?

The main issue discussed is the difficulty of finding genuine people to form real friendships in a world perceived as superficial and fake, and the role of personal biases and mindset in this challenge.

What is the 'quote' referred to in the video script that relates to the company you keep?

The quote is 'You are the five people you hang out with the most,' which emphasizes the influence of the people around you on your own behavior and attitudes.

According to the script, why might someone feel that they can't find a high-quality friend group despite trying to be more charismatic?

The script suggests that the problem might be due to a toxic mindset, including biases built up from past experiences, which leads to an inaccurate perception of reality and hinders the formation of solid friendships.

What is the scenario presented to illustrate the difference in perception between two people who have had different upbringings?

The scenario compares two people: one raised in a rough environment with trust issues, and another raised in a nurturing environment with fulfilling friendships. Their different interpretations of the same situation (a friend cancelling plans) highlight how upbringing affects their perceptions of trustworthiness.

What is the role of self-reflection in addressing the toxic mindset discussed in the script?

Self-reflection is crucial in identifying and challenging the preconceived notions and beliefs that may be hindering the ability to form genuine relationships, by questioning the validity of these beliefs and understanding their origins.

How does the script relate poor sleep quality to the ability to form and maintain relationships?

The script suggests that poor sleep quality can lead to a lack of energy and motivation to reciprocate love and effort in relationships, and that improving sleep through means like magnesium supplementation can help enhance one's social abilities.

What is the significance of the supplement 'magnesium breakthrough by bio-optimizers' mentioned in the script?

The supplement is highlighted as a means to improve sleep quality, reduce stress levels, and regulate testosterone, which in turn can positively affect one's social skills and charisma.

What is the unrealistic expectation discussed in the script that might be hindering the formation of friendships?

The unrealistic expectation is the belief that all people should meet a certain set of criteria (e.g., being successful, having similar goals) to be considered as friends, which can limit the potential for forming diverse and meaningful relationships.

What advice does the script offer for those who struggle with trust issues and the feeling that no one likes them?

The script advises to challenge one's upbringing and beliefs, to question the validity of negative assumptions about others, and to put in the effort to initiate conversations and make plans with potential friends.

How does the script encourage viewers to approach the idea of meeting new people and forming friendships?

The script encourages viewers to let go of unrealistic expectations, to be open to forming relationships with 'cool, positive people,' and to practice the art of making relationships by challenging and destroying negative inner beliefs.

What is the final message of the video script regarding the pursuit of genuine friendships?

The final message is that there is no shortage of great people in the world with whom one can form genuine friendships, but it requires inner work to overcome negative beliefs and unrealistic expectations, and to put in the effort to maintain relationships.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Overcoming Trust Issues and Unrealistic Expectations

The first paragraph discusses the struggle of finding genuine people in a seemingly superficial world and the impact of one's mindset on this perception. It explores the idea that our biases and past experiences can lead us to view others as untrustworthy. The speaker uses two contrasting hypothetical individuals to illustrate how different upbringings can shape one's ability to trust and form friendships. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of challenging our preconceived notions and understanding that most people are not inherently untrustworthy, but our perceptions may be skewed by our own life experiences. It concludes with the advice to take initiative in relationships and recognize that maintaining friendships requires effort from both parties.

05:02

🌙 Addressing Sleep Deprivation and Unrealistic Social Expectations

The second paragraph delves into the effects of sleep deprivation on one's social skills and charisma, suggesting that poor sleep can lead to a lack of effort in reciprocating love and forming connections. The speaker introduces a product, Magnesium Breakthrough by Bio-Optimizers, which they claim has improved their sleep quality. They discuss the importance of magnesium for stress regulation and testosterone levels. The speaker also addresses the unrealistic expectations people have about life and others, influenced by self-improvement content and online narratives. They encourage questioning these beliefs and engaging with the real world to find that most people are more empathetic and friendly than they appear online. The paragraph concludes with a reminder to challenge our assumptions and to not let unrealistic expectations prevent us from forming meaningful relationships.

10:03

🚀 Letting Go of Judgmental Standards for Friendships

The third paragraph focuses on the unrealistic standards and judgments people have when it comes to forming friendships, particularly within the self-improvement community. The speaker advises against the idea of only seeking out 'successful' or 'perfect' friends and instead suggests building relationships with positive and cool people who contribute to one's happiness. They emphasize the importance of putting in the effort to maintain relationships and allowing for natural growth and change within friendships. The speaker also encourages letting go of preconceived notions and judgments about others, suggesting that this will ultimately lead to attracting the right kind of people into one's life. The paragraph ends with a call to action for viewers to work on their social skills and charisma, and to challenge their inner beliefs that may be hindering the formation of healthy relationships.

Keywords

💡Toxic Mindset

A toxic mindset refers to a collection of negative beliefs or attitudes that can hinder personal growth and relationships. In the video, the creator discusses how a toxic mindset can lead to distrust and the perception that most people are untrustworthy, which is a barrier to forming genuine connections. The script uses the example of two individuals with different upbringings to illustrate how one's mindset can influence their interpretation of social interactions.

💡Untrustworthy

Being untrustworthy implies a lack of reliability or honesty. Within the video's context, the term is used to describe a perception that the majority of people are not to be trusted. This belief stems from the creator's past experiences and biases, which have shaped their outlook on relationships and social interactions.

💡Genuine People

Genuine people are those who are authentic, honest, and show true feelings or intentions. The video script explores the difficulty of finding such individuals in a world perceived as superficial. The creator challenges the viewer to consider whether the problem lies with others or with their own mindset and expectations.

💡Superficial

Superficial refers to something that is concerned only with surface aspects without depth or substance. The video discusses the superficial nature of modern society and how it affects the search for meaningful relationships, suggesting that the creator's past experiences have led them to view many interactions as lacking depth.

💡Mindset

Mindset is a set of attitudes or beliefs that shape how one perceives the world. The video emphasizes the importance of challenging and changing one's mindset to overcome negative perceptions and build better relationships. The creator reflects on their own mindset and how it has affected their social experiences.

💡Initiate Conversation

Initiating a conversation means starting a dialogue with someone. The video encourages viewers to take the first step in social interactions, suggesting that this can help in forming connections and dispelling the belief that others are uninterested or untrustworthy.

💡Effort

Effort in the context of the video refers to the active work one must put into building and maintaining relationships. The creator points out that many people mistakenly believe they are the only ones making an effort, when in reality, relationships require constant work from both parties.

💡Magnesium Breakthrough

Magnesium Breakthrough is a supplement mentioned in the video that is said to improve sleep quality and reduce stress levels. The creator discusses its benefits and how it has helped them personally, providing an example of how addressing physical health can also impact one's mindset and social interactions.

💡Unrealistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations are beliefs or hopes that are not grounded in reality. The video script talks about the impact of having such expectations on relationships, suggesting that they can prevent people from forming connections with others who do not meet their idealized criteria.

💡Self-Improvement

Self-improvement refers to the process of enhancing one's knowledge, skills, or character. The video touches on the self-improvement space and how it can sometimes lead to negative assumptions about people and the world, if not critically evaluated.

💡Empathetic

Empathetic means being able to understand and share the feelings of others. The video script contrasts the often negative online perceptions of people with the creator's positive experiences of empathy in real-world interactions, suggesting that personal experiences can challenge preconceived notions.

💡Brandolini's Law

Brandolini's Law, mentioned in the video, states that it takes much more effort to debunk a false claim than to make one. The creator uses this concept to highlight the prevalence of misinformation and the importance of critical thinking in evaluating the beliefs that shape one's mindset.

Highlights

The video discusses the difficulty of finding genuine people and the influence of one's mindset on social interactions.

The concept that you become like the five people you spend the most time with is mentioned and its impact on forming friendships.

The video challenges the notion that most people are not of high value and suggests that our biases may be affecting our perceptions.

It argues that being untrustworthy of most people is often due to an inaccurate perception of reality rather than the people themselves.

The importance of examining one's own biases and mindset is emphasized to understand why genuine friendships are hard to form.

A scenario is presented to illustrate how different upbringings can lead to different interpretations of the same situation.

The video suggests that trust issues may stem from one's past experiences and beliefs rather than the current reality.

The role of self-reflection in identifying and challenging preconceived notions about others is highlighted.

The video points out that maintaining friendships requires constant effort from both parties and is not a one-sided process.

The negative impact of sleep deprivation on one's social skills and charisma is discussed, along with a solution.

Magnesium Breakthrough by Bio-Optimizers is introduced as a supplement that can improve sleep quality and reduce stress.

The unrealistic expectations and assumptions people have about life and others are identified as a toxic mindset.

The video encourages questioning the validity of beliefs about the world and people, suggesting that they may not be accurate.

The importance of going outside and interacting with real people to gain a more accurate perception of the world is stressed.

The video refutes the idea that the world is full of fake people and suggests that this belief may be a coping mechanism.

The concept of Brandolini's Law is introduced to explain why false ideas spread more easily than the effort to refute them.

The video concludes by encouraging viewers to challenge their beliefs, lower their expectations, and put in the effort to make friends.

Transcripts

the world is so fake everything's

superficial nowadays why isn't it

possible to find real genuine people now

if you clicked on this video it's likely

that these are the types of thoughts

that run through your mind on a frequent

basis you probably already know that

quote by now that says you are the five

people you hang out with the most i even

cited it in my video about removing

toxic people from my life and i still

agree with that statement so if that's

the case then why would you try and

become friends with anyone because the

majority of humanity is depressing and

not of high value the problem is a lot

of what i said in that video was based

on the biases that i built up over the

past year or so and this bias and

mindset is what you're probably allowing

yourself to accept as fact if you're

having trouble making any sort of real

solid friends if you've watched my other

videos on socializing with people and

being more charismatic but you just feel

like you still can't find that right

high quality friend group then you're

the one that's creating the problem are

there genuinely bad people out there

that just want to use you and won't

reciprocate your kindness of course but

those people that i was questioning

whether they were my friends or not

throughout my life did not fit that

criteria and i thought they did because

of the mindset that i had built up and

this is probably the case for you too so

let's break down the first part of this

toxic mindset being totally

untrustworthy and seeing most people as

negative the truth is if you're

untrustworthy of most people it's not

because those people are actually

untrustworthy okay i mean sometimes they

actually will be but because you're

functioning on an inaccurate perception

of reality to explain this further let

me give you a scenario let's say we have

two people the first was raised in a

rough environment their father left them

when they were young they never had a

solid group of friends to call their own

and were never encouraged to keep going

after they failed at something because

of this they believe the world is out to

get them and most people are fake and

only want to see them if they want

something from them the second person

was raised in a much more healthy manner

they had both parents growing up who

nurtured and loved them and they found

it easy to make friends because of it

and each of their friendships felt both

fulfilling and enriching to them so

let's put these two people in the same

scenario let's say they have a friend or

someone they want to be friends with

whom they made plans to hang out with

later that day but the person cancels

last minute because they have a family

issue to take care of the first person

would automatically assume the person

must dislike them and that it's because

they did something wrong and because

they believe this this would only

continue to fuel their mindset that most

people are untrustworthy and they'd

probably give up on trying to see that

person again the second person would

probably think to themselves well this

person is probably just busy it's all

right that they had something come up

last minute i'm sure i'll see them again

soon if i try two completely different

interpretations of the exact same

situation and if you struggle with trust

issues and feeling like no one likes you

then your upbringings and beliefs are

probably closer to person number one

many of us are functioning in a reality

that does not at all reflect how things

actually are and to fix this you really

need to dive deep into yourself and ask

yourself why is it that i hold this

belief in my head to be absolute fact

when i did this myself i realized that

many of my preconceived notions about

others actually came from the stuff that

i went through earlier on in my life

like that time i was in vegas and

reflecting on the fact that people were

untrustworthy and they would never

actually stick by my side and yet none

of that was actually true about the

situation i was in right now or even

back then and i realized yeah if i want

to go out and make friends i gotta be

the one to initiate the conversation and

put in the effort to make plans with

them because most people actually are

just busy it's not like that person

doesn't like you or care about you it's

just that you got to be willing to put

in more effort obviously you don't want

a completely one-sided relationship but

it just feels like so many people think

they're the only ones putting an effort

into a relationship when the reality is

that people naturally grow apart from

each other at one point or another in

their lives and that's just the way that

life is and maintaining friendships is

supposed to be a constant effort between

both parties like usually friends aren't

just gonna magically fall into your lap

after you meet them once and they're

gonna be the ones hitting you up saying

hey let's hang out hey let's hang out

like that's just not how it works and

there's absolutely nothing wrong with

that that's just the way that people are

and the way that life is now before we

get into the next and probably most

important part of this toxic mindset

that you have i first want to talk about

something that used to completely drain

the personality charisma and effort out

of me which was a lack of sleep you guys

have probably experienced this but when

i used to get poor quality sleep i used

to feel like this lifeless zombie that

couldn't be bothered to put in effort to

reciprocate love to others and something

that has helped me tremendously with

improving my sleep is magnesium

breakthrough by bio-optimizers magnesium

is a mineral that many people are

neglecting and are in fact deficient in

because it's kind of difficult to get it

in our diets and it is one of the most

important minerals for regulating your

stress levels your testosterone and for

getting better sleep and the reason i

take magnesium breakthrough from by

optimizers is because it blends all of

the seven essential forms of magnesium

into one effective supplement i've been

taking magnesium breakthrough for

several months now and i can confidently

say that it has definitely improved my

quality of sleep i take a couple before

bed and it has definitely reduced the

amount of time it takes me to fall

asleep as well as improved the quality

of my sleep and it's super dope to see

all of the comments on my videos about

this product of how taking a magnesium

supplement has helped you guys with

sleep and your testosterone levels so if

you are interested in the supplement and

you want to reduce your stress levels

regulate your testosterone levels and

get better quality sleep then you can

click the link in the description or the

pinned comment it is

magnesiumbreakthrough.comcole and when

you use that link you will get a 10

discount on your order thank you to buy

optimizers for sponsoring this video the

next part of this mindset is what i

briefly covered in the first part of

this video and that is the completely

unrealistic expectations and assumptions

that you have about life and people so

let's create another hypothetical person

which might not actually be hypothetical

let's say this person has been consuming

a lot of self-improvement or similarly

related content talking about how fake

and superficial people are these days

these videos say that phones have

created a mass psychosis of sheep that

are boring with no personalities and so

this person starts believing it's the

people and the way the world is set up

that are the reasons as to why they

can't find real friends but if you think

everything in the world sucks and people

suck and life sucks is the problem

everything and everyone in the world or

is it you let's start off with this

assumption that people are faker now how

would you know if this is true have you

ever stopped to question whether this is

true or not or do you just consume what

you see online and have a few bad

experiences in real life and then you

think yep everybody's fake obviously i

didn't live a hundred years ago but when

i look back in the 1920s to 1950s era it

looks like everyone was forced to live a

certain lifestyle school was actually

necessary to get a job along with

marriage and not wearing two promiscuous

clothing and only conforming to

society's ways of thinking today we have

so much more freedom to be who we want

to be and do what we want to do you can

get a tattoo and still get hired almost

anywhere we no longer have to act all

upright and orderly and have much more

of an opportunity to express ourselves

in many different ways look it doesn't

matter whether you think this is a good

or bad thing the point i'm trying to

make is you need to start questioning

the validity of these assumptions and

beliefs you have about the world and

other people by doing what most people

fail to do going outside i think sneko

said it best in his video how people

view you too when he said when you speak

to someone face to face suddenly all the

disease and death and murder all that

you forget about when you're in the real

world talking to real people a lot of

people want to believe that the world is

an awful place and people are out to get

them because it makes it so much easier

to cope with and avoid the fact that

it's their own upbringings and beliefs

that have been shaped over time that is

the real reason that they can't find or

make any friends people truly do not

want to think critically about what

people tell them online in this internet

era so much so to the point that it's

coined the term brandolini's law which

states that the amount of effort

required to refute a bull claim is far

greater than the amount of effort

required to produce a bull claim and

based on my experience and what i've

seen online that's definitely a fact we

all secretly want to believe and be

spoon-fed false ideas like humanity is

doomed and people suck now because it

gives us the excuse to not do the

difficult inner work required to start

challenging and destroying our false

beliefs that will then open us up to

start developing healthy relationships

and it sounds super negative and mean

when i put it that way but it's actually

quite positive and hopeful when i go out

into the real world and experience real

people i'm always astonished by how much

more empathetic and friendly most people

actually are versus how most people act

online i think this woman said it best

in my last video and don't be afraid to

say hi to people most everybody wants

more friends and is afraid to talk to

people too so if you're the one who

makes that effort most of the time

they'll just be glad that somebody

talked to them there is definitely no

shortage of great high quality people

that you can vibe with in the world it's

just that you have inner work to do and

you have these completely unrealistic

expectations as to what these people

need to be like and how they need to act

and where they need to be in their lives

in order for you to be friends with them

there's this whole idea in the

self-improvement space that you always

need to be around successful people who

have the same or higher goals as you and

you need to remove everyone else and if

you can't find those people then you

have to be a lone wolf but think where

you're at in your life right now how

likely is it that you're gonna find the

people that match all that criteria that

you have in your head i think people are

just far too judgmental especially in

this space once they hear these things

of what people decide to do with their

lives and how they act of course i'm not

telling you to hang out with totally

unambitious life-sucking negative people

but god damn you don't have to hang out

with like this perfect entrepreneur

hustle type archetype that meets all

these list of criteria that you have in

your head if you've never even had a

solid

friend group in the first place and you

don't have the social skills or charisma

yet instead of having these outrageous

expectations of how people should be in

order for you to be friends with them

just hang out with cool positive people

that make you feel happy and put in the

effort required to maintain that

relationship people will come and go and

the real ones will stay and by the end

of all that you'll have the social

skills and charisma necessary to attract

those higher up type of people that you

want to attract into your life but right

now just practice the art of making

relationships with others by destroying

those inner negative false beliefs and

those assumptions that have been created

by all the things you've been consuming

over the years and let your guard down a

little or else you'll never get to that

point

thank you very much to all my patrons on

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where i'm putting out exclusive content

you can't find anywhere else and you can

talk to me one-on-one over the phone on

there link in the description if you're

still having trouble with the whole

social skills and charisma part of

making relationships then check out my

entire playlist on building

relationships with others that will help

you a ton it's right here and thank you

so much for watching peace guys love you