Alex Hormozi: the BEST life MENTOR | 15 MINUTE
Summary
TLDRThe speaker emphasizes the importance of embracing challenges rather than expecting ease in the pursuit of success. They discuss the power of reframing reality, acknowledging personal shortcomings, and taking ownership of one's journey. By confronting the possibility of being 'right' about negative feedback, individuals can find strength and motivation. The narrative also touches on the value of perseverance, personal growth, and the idea of becoming the hero of one's own story, overcoming adversity to achieve a greater purpose.
Takeaways
- 🌟 People often root for those who don't need support, highlighting the importance of self-belief and perseverance.
- 🤔 The speaker emphasizes the importance of resetting expectations and facing the reality of the challenges ahead.
- 💪 Acknowledging and confronting reality, even when it's uncomfortable, can lead to personal growth and a stronger mindset.
- 👂 Listening to criticism and considering its validity can be a powerful tool for self-improvement and resilience.
- 🚫 Denying reality or avoiding criticism often leads to wasted effort and missed opportunities for growth.
- 🙅♂️ The speaker shares a personal story about overcoming self-doubt and the realization that success doesn't require self-worth.
- 🙌 Success is achievable regardless of self-perceived worth, and focusing on actions that lead to success can be empowering.
- 🤝 The concept of 'deserving' is challenged, suggesting that gratitude and enjoyment are more important than feeling entitled to success.
- 🔥 Burnout is defined as a decrease in output per unit of time, distinguishing it from emotional exhaustion caused by an inability to reframe reality.
- 💡 Taking ownership of one's situation by acknowledging 'my fault' can be a transformative step towards personal responsibility and growth.
- 👊 The power of reframing challenges as opportunities for growth and viewing oneself as the hero of one's own story can be a powerful motivator.
- 🎯 Having a larger narrative or vision for one's life can provide the motivation to overcome hardships and see them as part of a bigger journey.
- 📈 The speaker suggests that the early, difficult stages of any endeavor are crucial for building the skills and context needed for future success.
- 🏆 Embracing the idea that the path to success is often hard and lonely can be a powerful mindset shift, turning a perceived negative into a unique advantage.
- 👏 The importance of self-encouragement and being your own cheerleader, especially during the times when others may not yet recognize your potential.
Q & A
What does the speaker suggest about people's expectations and reality?
-The speaker suggests that people often have unrealistic expectations, and when reality doesn't meet these expectations, it can lead to disappointment. He emphasizes the importance of aligning expectations with reality and accepting the challenges as part of the journey.
What is the speaker's perspective on the concept of 'deserving' success?
-The speaker argues that one doesn't necessarily need to 'deserve' success to achieve it. Instead, focusing on the actions that lead to success is more important. He believes that the idea of deserving can limit enjoyment and gratitude for achievements.
How does the speaker relate the idea of confronting reality to personal growth?
-The speaker believes that confronting reality, even if it's uncomfortable, is crucial for personal growth. By acknowledging and accepting the truth, individuals can move past denial and take steps towards improvement.
What role does the speaker assign to gratitude in the context of success?
-The speaker suggests that gratitude is essential in appreciating success. He argues that if one feels they deserve their success, they might not fully enjoy it. Instead, focusing on the journey and the effort put in can lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment.
How does the speaker view the relationship between blame and power?
-The speaker posits that power follows the blame finger. By blaming others or external factors for one's situation, one gives away their power. Taking responsibility and acknowledging 'my fault' is a way to reclaim that power and control over one's life.
What advice does the speaker give regarding the early stages of pursuing a goal?
-The speaker advises that the early stages of pursuing a goal are often the hardest and that expecting them to be easy is a mistake. He encourages embracing the challenges and viewing them as necessary steps towards success.
How does the speaker describe the process of reframing reality?
-The speaker describes reframing reality as a process of acknowledging and confronting the truth about one's situation. He suggests that this can help individuals move past denial and take control of their lives, rather than being held back by false expectations.
What is the speaker's view on the importance of storytelling in personal development?
-The speaker believes that storytelling is a powerful tool in personal development. By envisioning the story of one's journey, including the challenges and triumphs, individuals can gain motivation and a sense of purpose.
How does the speaker relate the concept of 'burnout' to productivity and emotional state?
-The speaker differentiates between burnout as a measurable decrease in output per unit of time and emotional burnout, which he sees as a mislabeling of frustration or disappointment. He suggests that reframing reality and confronting the truth can help manage emotional burnout.
What advice does the speaker give for dealing with criticism or negative feedback?
-The speaker advises acknowledging and confronting the criticism, even if it's uncomfortable. He suggests that by admitting the truth in the criticism, one can move past the shame and focus on improvement, rather than being held back by denial.
How does the speaker encourage viewing challenges as opportunities?
-The speaker encourages viewing challenges as opportunities by reframing them as necessary steps towards success. He suggests that embracing the difficulty can lead to personal growth and a stronger sense of achievement.
Outlines
🤔 Embracing Challenges and Redefining Success
The speaker initiates a dialogue about the misconception that people only support those who are already successful. Through interaction with an audience, they explore the reality of challenges and the reset of expectations. The speaker emphasizes the importance of confronting reality, using the example of someone being teased for having big ears to illustrate the point of accepting truth and moving forward. They discuss the power of reframing thoughts, such as not needing to 'deserve' success to achieve it, and the transformative effect of taking responsibility for one's own life and success. The summary also touches on the speaker's personal journey and the concept of gratitude, suggesting that recognizing one's own faults can be a powerful motivator.
💪 Overcoming Adversity and the Power of Self-Belief
In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the challenges faced by individuals from various disadvantaged backgrounds and the potential to rise above them. They acknowledge the legitimacy of some people's struggles while encouraging a mindset of taking responsibility and becoming an inspiration to others. The speaker advocates for the idea that power lies where blame is directed and suggests that internalizing responsibility can lead to empowerment. They also discuss the importance of creating art for oneself and the value of personal growth over immediate external validation. The speaker shares personal anecdotes to illustrate the concept of becoming the hero of one's own story, using future storytelling as a motivational tool during difficult times.
🛡 The Early Struggles and the Path to Greatness
The speaker reflects on the hardships faced during the early stages of one's journey, likening the experience to a battle with limited resources. They discuss the importance of viewing these struggles as formative experiences that build the skills necessary for future success. The speaker uses the movie 'Slumdog Millionaire' as a metaphor for how seemingly random experiences can contribute to one's ability to overcome larger challenges later in life. They encourage embracing the difficulty of the path less traveled, suggesting that it is precisely the hardship that deters others, making it a unique advantage. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of self-belief and self-motivation, suggesting that one must be the first to root for oneself on the path to exceptional achievements.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Expectations
💡Reality
💡Permission
💡Deserving
💡Gratitude
💡Burnout
💡Narrative
💡Ownership
💡Inspiration
💡Epic Story
💡Resources
💡Selection Effect
Highlights
The importance of resetting expectations to match reality and how it can alleviate feelings of hardship.
Confronting reality and accepting criticism as a means to stop denial and move forward.
The concept of not needing to 'deserve' success to achieve it, and the power of taking responsibility for one's actions.
The role of gratitude and the potential negative impact of feeling entitled to success.
Defining burnout as a decrease in output per unit of time and distinguishing it from emotional exhaustion.
The power of reframing negative experiences and comments by acknowledging their validity and moving past them.
Taking ownership of one's life and success by pointing the finger of blame inwards rather than outwards.
The idea that hardships and disadvantages can be overcome to become an inspiration to others.
The concept of 'Power follows the blame finger' and how it relates to personal responsibility and empowerment.
The value of creating art or content for oneself, which can resonate with a larger audience.
The significance of viewing oneself as the hero of one's own narrative, especially during challenging times.
Using the 'epic story' framework to make decisions and predict one's behavior in difficult situations.
The early days of a venture being the most challenging due to limited resources and the importance of perseverance.
The idea that hardships in the beginning can provide unique advantages and context for future success.
Embracing the difficulty of the path as a sign that it is less likely to be followed by others, increasing one's chances of success.
The necessity of being one's own cheerleader, especially during times of loneliness and struggle on the path to success.
The analogy of the 'slow clap' in an auditorium representing the gradual recognition and support one may receive on their journey.
Transcripts
yeah people only root for those who
don't need to be rooted
[Music]
for and so I just asked them a couple
questions I was like who here before
pledging started was like I want to be a
part of this house the guys were like
you me okay like okay got it who here
thought it was going to be easy who here
thought it would be hard they raised
their hands I'm like guys this is what
hard feels like and all of a sudden
there's just like this big EX in the
room they're like expectations get reset
this is normal you wanted this thing you
expected it to be hard reality now
matches conditions sorry expectations
now match conditions this is what heart
feels like and then all of a sudden it's
like they got permission to feel shitty
and by getting permission to feel shitty
they stop feeling and the next one is
like what if we confront it and say like
what if they're right now what cuz a lot
of I think a lot of effort gets put into
trying toy deny reality right like
there's this clip that I shared uh from
B and he was talking about how he gets
made fun of for his ears being big right
and I think it's a really good clip cuz
his point that he was making um cuz it's
such a visual easy example for people to
understand he's like is that it's true I
do have big ears and and so that's
that's like the if they're like you have
no right to be making content are they
right okay and yeah I'm still going to
do it anyways because the thing is like
I one of the things that I had earlier
on in my career was like
I didn't think I was a really good
person like I was like I'm not a good
person like some people like yeah I just
had that right and I had a you know
whatever and one of the things that gave
me a lot of respite or relief from that
kind of thought process was like comma
that's okay because I can still do the
things that create success and not
deserve it and still get it and that
actually felt very powerful for me
because it was like I don't have to
deserve to success I can still just do
the stuff that gets it it's like you
don't have to you don't have to deserve
the girl but you can still do the things
that get her and do deserve it when you
have her I don't know who knows I hate
the word deserve to begin with right yes
but like that concept because also I I
could segue into like gratitude around
like if you think you deserve it then
you don't you don't enjoy it but um that
has been super powerful for me which is
like what if they're right and because a
lot of people just trying to they spend
so much effort trying to fight the fact
that the comments might be right this
might have been a [ __ ] terrible
thumbnail you know what this might have
been a boring video this this post might
have been regurgitated content this post
might have been inspired too closely by
someone else's post right what if
they're right and yeah does it make me a
piece of [ __ ] what if it does and I hear
stats like that and I just think man it
is so easy to win like that I mean like
when I hear that that's exactly what I
think I'm just like man if everyone's
like struggling to win it's like you
like most of the pain that people
experience is purely in their own minds
and so to your point I think there's an
interesting one between like burnout
versus hard and so like for me burnout
is when my I would Define it as my
output per unit of time decreases so I
can see that that's measurable right now
like I can say like number of pages that
I edit or the quality of the content
that I create like my output per time
like the team knows when I like when I'm
like 6 hours 7 hours into recording
something they're like I literally start
like slumping you know like like
physically I just start like slumping
and like my Cadence isn't as like I'm
just not as sharp right there's that
versus emotional burnout which I think
people mislabel as burnout out when
really it's just like they don't know
how to reframe reality and so what it
really is is they got a comment on a
post that bugged them and like again
it's like pulling it from the Shadows
it's like no this stuff doesn't work
it's like hold on what's the one voice
that actually is coming through what is
the real thing well there is this
comment okay great it's embarrassing to
even have to say that but when you say
it then you admit it and all of a sudden
you put it in the light and the shame
kind of starts to evaporate because then
you can name it and be like is this
Comet better than my bigger than my
future is this Comet bigger than me
and one of the things that I um that has
helped me was saying like what's true
about this you stay in poverty until you
learn the first lesson of poverty which
is two words my fault and so when I was
younger I was really angry at my parents
like many people are right Justified or
not doesn't really matter I was very
angry and I blamed them for the woes of
my life and I realized when I was 19
that these people that I hated I was
giving all the power over the fact that
I wasn't the person I wanted to be and I
was like well it's their fault and the
idea that I had actually given these
people that I hated Power Over My
Success was ultimately something that
made me feel sick to my stomach and was
what allowed me to point the finger of
blame inwards and say my fault and then
at least take ownership over the fact
that like and like sure maybe your dad
didn't hug you enough or maybe your mom
was in PR or whatever it is right it's
like and and like I said this the other
day and it'll probably piss off a lot of
your audience so you know we can put our
soft ear phones on um like if you were
if you if you suffered from racial
inequality if you suffer from gender
inequality if you suffer from being born
in Bangladesh if you were ra uh not
racial sexually abused your entire life
you would be completely justified in the
fact that you are not achieving the
things that other people who didn't have
those disadvantages have achieved and I
say this as a white guy who was born in
America to a doctor father I understand
that but to the same degree you have the
opportunity that Chris nor I have which
is that you can be an inspiration to
people who just who went through the
same thing and succeeded comma despite
those circumstances because I can
promise that there is somebody who has
had it worse and has done it better and
I think that that one single point of
proof and like there's a global point of
proof that you can look for for sure but
like you can be that very local point of
proof in your community or subc
community and I think um as soon as we
shed that that's like I just I'm a big
fan of uh Power follows the blame finger
so like wherever you point the blame
finger is where the power follows so
it's like if you point it if you point
it to the government government has the
power if you point it at your your
spouse and say like it's their fault
that I'm I'm not in shape it's their
fault they never let me do anything it's
like well you're giving them all the
power and so it's like until you're like
it's my fault it's also becomes my
responsibility what is what if it's not
your fault it doesn't matter and like I
can't run marathons because I lost my
leg at Birth and either you can just
never try or you put the metal thing on
and you do it anyways shoot I can't
remember where it was from um but
basically that the best art is Art where
the artist makes it for themselves and
where you see commercial work is where a
bunch of people are trying to make
something for an audience and so it's
they're trying to like rinse and recycle
stuff that actually solves no one's
problems because no one is actually the
audience whereas when you make it for
yourself there's thousands of people
just like you who will Who will have the
same depth of understanding of it but it
feels selfish in the moment to make
something for yourself but when you make
it for yourself you actually make it for
every and so I think when you're on the
start path you can't look at the outcome
as The only positive cuz you will never
make it and so the positive frame that
I've always used is sure you can have
the external ones of like I like
thinking about my first videos had like
13 views and I'm like well if I had an
audience of 13 people I used to spend
years pitching you know weight loss
stuff to rims of 13 and that was fine
and so thinking about that way was
helpful but the the most helpful frame
was thinking about who I was becoming as
the asset that I was building so in real
time when whenever I finished a Long
Day's Work I was becoming more like the
type of person who could work for 5
years without reward and that would be
part of the story I would someday tell
and some some of the biggest reinforces
I've had in my life has been
futurecasting the story that I would
tell about the shitty period that I was
in like I remember when I was sleeping
on the floor at my gym cuz I didn't have
enough money for two rents and I was
like I will [ __ ] tell this story and
when I lost everything for the first
time I like I have the screenshot of the
bank account like when I show it people
are like oh look there's that thing but
they forget that there was a person who
screenshotted it to be like this won't
[ __ ] happen again and I think having
a larger Narrative of where you're
ultimately going one gives you the
vision of where you're like the like
knows where he's going but it allows the
dragons that you have to slay along the
way the hard things that you have to
overcome to feed into the larger
Narrative of who of the story that
you'll someday tell and so like no one
ever tells stories about the hero who
made it all happen immediately and had
no hardships no one cares right like
okay you were born to a billionaire is
there a story there not really but
everyone loves the story because we can
see ourselves in the character and how
much we hope to be like them and it's
the being like them not the having what
they have that we usually like and so
reframing ourselves as the hero of that
narrative in my harder times was what
really got me through that and thinking
I will tell this story someday I want to
give you the single easiest razor to
predict my behavior and I I said
whatever will be the most epic story is
the thing that I will most likely do and
so often times the most epic story is
not the shortest outcome to Victory it's
the long Saga that results in this big
thing later eventually and I was like if
you ever want to know if you're like I'm
not sure what he's going to do in this
situation just wonder what the most epic
story to tell would be and that's
usually what I will do and I don't know
if that's self-aggrandizing but that's
that's genuinely my Razor for even
making the dis the big decisions about
okay I'm going to sell gym launch I'm
going to I'm going to marry ilila I'm
going to slum it and live at the gym I'm
going to fly around and do turnarounds
I'm going to start this whole idea of a
media company that just gives
exclusively like how do like how do I
put all these together it's like well
what would be the most epic story and I
thought of this idea of just like when I
think about who that story I want to
tell is is this billionaire that
documented the entire thing the whole
way and just gave because I always I was
like I wish that Elon Musk and and
Warren Buffett and all these guys would
have like and Jeff basos like would have
just like I would love to have seen
1997 Amazon content and a lot of the
content in terms of like it it's getting
five views it's like it's okay because
when we make it they're going to come
back and watch this so I don't need them
to watch it today I want them to know
that it's here when I do and I think
that got me out of the the loop of it I
have to win right now and then every one
of them is just dropping uh a kernel or
a bread comom for future meat to refer
back to it won't get harder like this is
the hardest part and so if you can just
make it through this everything else is
downhill it's not that the things that
you're the dragons are going to slay
aren't going to get bigger they are but
you become so much more equipped to slay
them back and you have so many more
allies you have people in the stands
cheering for you you have the audience
you have all of these other things that
are behind you but in the beginning it's
just you with a stick against a bear and
argu that fight is a harder fight to win
than beating a dragon when you have a
nuclear bomb and Six Nations behind you
and so it's not even like the the size
of the hardship it's just also the
resources and how few of them you have
and how so much of the beginning is
literally burning the one thing you have
which is time because you have no
leverage you don't have the money to pay
other people to help you you don't have
the resources to go like get someone to
to no one can learn it for you it's like
there's a lot of the things that that we
care about a lot like no one can work
out for you doesn't matter how much
money you have no one can learn skills
for you and so in the early days like it
feels so painful cuz you're like you
look around to see who can help you and
then you're like [ __ ] it's me again and
I think getting comfortable with the
idea that each of these things kind of
like Slum Dog Millionaire if you've seen
that movie where he I'll give you the
tldr he goes through his entire life of
Randomness and he gets on Who Wants To
Be A Millionaire version in India and it
has 12 questions to make a million
dollars and from only 12 random
experiences in his life that seemed
meaningless at the time was he able to
answer all of the questions and then
ultimately win the skills that you
develop along the way like Steve Jobs
learning calligraphy that then became
Apple fonts that you know transformed
how we type those early days that little
trench winning in the weeds often times
gives you these huge advantages later on
because you have more context than
anyone else and so rather than lament
them and hate the fact that you're going
through it remembering that these will
be arrows that you put in the quiver
that you're going to be using to slay
the future bigger dragons and so
expecting it to be easy is what makes it
much harder than it ever is because in
the early days hard was ooh stop this
isn't good I should I should this is a
warning sign this is a red flag I should
slow down or I should stop you know I
should pivot but the more I think about
it as a competitive landscape as I'm
clear on what this path is supposed to
look like and these rocks and these
dragons are things that I'm going to
have to slay along the way to get the
princess or get the treasure I get
happier about the harder it is because I
know that no one else will follow it's a
selection effect and I think if you can
if you can shift from this is hard to no
one else will be able to do this then it
it's it flips from being this thing that
you're like oh poor me to oh poor
everyone else who's going to have to
[ __ ] try yeah and I think that is so
much more motivating as a frame for the
exact same circumstance like the amount
of times when I was on my lonely path
where I was too different from the
friends that I had but not successful
enough to be friends with the people
that I wanted to be friends with that's
when that's when you want people to root
for you that's when you want people to
support you once you've already won
people are like he's amazing he's so
good but like that's the time when you
need it the least and so you always have
to be the person who roots for you
before everyone else does and it's
usually a single clap in the auditorium
for a very long period of time it is a
slow clap that's just you rooting for
you um and that visual I think is one
that you can kind of take because it is
people struggle to do things alone and
the path of the exceptional person is
one of an exception which means that you
are not with other people and rather
than fighting that or bemoaning it see
it as an indicator that you're on the
right path because if everyone else were
cheering you on then it means you're not
in the right place because it means
you're just like everyone else and
that's not where you want to be
[Music]
[Music]
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