How to 'overcome' fear | Trevor Ragan | TEDxCedarRapids
Summary
TLDRThe speaker delves into the science of fear and its impact on learning, highlighting how the amygdala, or 'lizard brain,' generates fear to avoid perceived threats. He explains that fear is a natural response to uncertainty, attention, struggle, and change, which are also the ingredients for growth. The talk encourages embracing fear as a compass for bravery and stepping out of comfort zones to foster personal development, rather than striving to be fearless, which is unattainable.
Takeaways
- 🧠 The amygdala, often referred to as the 'lizard brain', is responsible for generating fear to keep us safe, but it can't distinguish between life-threatening dangers and personal growth challenges.
- 🚀 Fear can be a barrier to learning and development, often stemming from the fear of looking bad, the unknown, or making mistakes.
- 💡 Overcoming fear is a skill that anyone can develop, and it involves understanding and working with the natural response of the 'lizard brain', rather than trying to eliminate it.
- 🔄 Fear is triggered by uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle—elements that are also present in the best learning opportunities.
- 🙈 The 'lizard brain' can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as procrastination or choosing less challenging tasks, which can hinder personal growth.
- 🤔 The speaker suggests that instead of trying to 'kill' the lizard brain, we should 'dance with it', using it as a compass to guide us toward brave and bold actions.
- 🚶♂️ Fear can rob us of opportunities for growth, such as in the examples of the third-grader avoiding playing in the infield or the high school student not singing at the audition.
- 🌟 Seth Godin's influence on the speaker emphasizes the idea that feeling fear is a natural and human response, and it should be acknowledged rather than shamed.
- 💪 The concept of 'dancing with fear' suggests that we should not avoid fear but instead use it as a signal that we are stepping out of our comfort zone and into a learning experience.
- 📚 Liz Gilbert's approach to keeping fear in the 'back seat' of our lives is highlighted as a way to acknowledge its presence without letting it control our decisions.
- 🌱 The speaker concludes that stepping out of our comfort zone is a skill that can be developed over time, and that it's a continuous process of growth and learning.
Q & A
What is the main idea of the speaker in the video script?
-The speaker discusses the concept of stepping out of one's comfort zone for learning and development, focusing on the role of fear and how it is generated by the amygdala, often referred to as the 'lizard brain'. The speaker suggests that understanding and managing fear can enhance learning and personal growth.
Why does the speaker refer to the amygdala as the 'lizard brain'?
-The speaker uses the term 'lizard brain' to describe the amygdala because it is a primal part of the brain responsible for survival instincts, including the generation of fear to avoid danger. The term 'lizard brain' is used to illustrate its ancient and instinctual nature.
What are the four triggers that the speaker identifies as enhancing fear?
-The four triggers that enhance fear, as identified by the speaker, are uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle. These elements can provoke a fear response, which can hinder learning opportunities.
How does the speaker describe the relationship between fear and learning opportunities?
-The speaker describes fear as a barrier to learning opportunities. He explains that the same elements that create fear—uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle—are also present in the best learning opportunities, which can lead to avoidance if not properly managed.
What is the speaker's view on the common advice to 'be fearless'?
-The speaker argues that advising someone to 'be fearless' is flawed because it is impossible to completely eliminate fear, especially in situations involving uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle. Instead, he suggests embracing and managing fear as a natural human response.
What does the speaker mean by 'dancing with the lizard brain'?
-The speaker suggests 'dancing with the lizard brain' as a metaphor for understanding and working with the fear response rather than trying to eliminate it. It means recognizing the fear signal as an indicator of a learning opportunity and choosing to engage with it rather than avoid it.
How does the speaker's perspective on fear change after his conversation with Seth Godin?
-After his conversation with Seth Godin, the speaker's perspective on fear shifts from trying to eliminate it to using it as a compass for identifying and engaging with learning opportunities. He adopts the idea of embracing fear as a natural part of the learning process.
What is the speaker's personal experience with fear in relation to his dream of attending Duke University?
-The speaker shares that he felt immense fear during his first year at Duke University, which led him to avoid participation in class discussions and presentations. He attributes this fear to his 'lizard brain' signaling that he was out of his comfort zone.
What advice does the speaker give for dealing with fear in the context of job interviews or performances?
-The speaker advises that feeling fear in such situations is natural and human. He suggests that recognizing fear as a signal of a learning opportunity can help individuals to engage with these experiences, learn, and grow, rather than avoiding them due to fear.
How does the speaker relate the concept of 'dancing with fear' to Liz Gilbert's approach in 'Big Magic'?
-The speaker relates 'dancing with fear' to Liz Gilbert's idea of keeping fear in the back seat of a car, acknowledging that it cannot be completely removed but should not be in control. This analogy emphasizes the importance of managing fear rather than letting it dictate one's actions.
What is the final message the speaker hopes to convey to the audience about dealing with fear?
-The speaker's final message is that dealing with fear is a skill that can be developed and improved over time. He encourages the audience to be aware of their fear responses, make conscious choices to engage with learning opportunities despite fear, and to view fear as a signal for growth rather than an obstacle.
Outlines
💡 Understanding Fear and Learning
This paragraph discusses how we learn best at the edge of our abilities and slightly outside our comfort zones. It emphasizes that fear, particularly the fear of failure, is a major obstacle to learning. The speaker aims to bridge the gap between scientific understanding of fear and common perceptions, explaining that fear is generated by the amygdala, or 'lizard brain,' which is hardwired to keep us safe by avoiding danger.
🧠 The Amygdala's Role in Fear
The amygdala, or 'lizard brain,' is introduced as a critical player in our fear response. Located near the brainstem, it triggers quick, reactive fear responses to perceived threats, like ducking when a baseball bat flies into the crowd. However, the amygdala cannot distinguish between real dangers and beneficial challenges, causing us to avoid both. The four elements that trigger fear are identified as uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle.
🔄 The Paradox of Fear and Learning
Fear's role in both danger avoidance and learning is explored. The four elements that trigger fear are also present in the best learning opportunities, leading to avoidance of beneficial activities like asking questions in class or writing papers on time. Procrastination and choosing easier tasks over challenging ones are examples of how the amygdala steers us away from growth. The speaker uses relatable anecdotes to illustrate these points.
🏆 Overcoming Fear for Growth
Personal stories from various individuals highlight how fear can prevent us from pursuing opportunities. Examples include a third-grader avoiding playing in the infield and a high school student backing out of a final audition for The Voice. These stories illustrate that fear affects everyone and can lead to missed opportunities for growth. The speaker stresses that understanding and confronting fear is crucial for personal development.
🎤 Facing and Embracing Fear
The speaker shares his own experience with fear, particularly during his first year at Duke University, where fear of not belonging prevented him from participating in class. A pivotal conversation with his hero, Seth Godin, revealed that the goal is not to eliminate fear but to 'dance' with it, using it as a signal of significant, brave endeavors. This shift in perspective helps the speaker and others use fear constructively.
🌍 Changing Perspectives on Fear
The speaker explains how fear should be viewed as a natural response rather than something to be eradicated. Encouraging people to be fearless is unrealistic and creates shame around feeling fear. Instead, recognizing fear as part of the human experience can help us better handle challenging situations. This approach helps individuals understand that fear doesn't indicate unpreparedness but rather an opportunity for growth.
🔄 Practicing Fear Management
Acknowledging that fear is a constant companion, the speaker advocates for practicing fear management as a skill. Referencing Elizabeth Gilbert's concept of keeping fear in the backseat, he emphasizes taking control and seeing learning opportunities instead of threats. This approach requires gradual practice and awareness of choices to spend more time outside our comfort zones, ultimately leading to growth and better learning.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Comfort Zone
💡Fear
💡Amygdala
💡Lizard Brain
💡Uncertainty
💡Attention
💡Struggle
💡Change
💡Procrastination
💡Growth
💡Dancing with Fear
Highlights
Learning is most effective when operating at the edge of our abilities and slightly outside our comfort zone.
Fear is a major hurdle to becoming a great learner, stemming from the fear of looking bad, the unknown, and making mistakes.
The amygdala, sometimes referred to as the lizard brain, generates fear for survival but can't distinguish between good and bad challenges.
Four triggers of fear are uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle, which are also present in the best learning opportunities.
Fear can be an indicator of a learning opportunity rather than something to be avoided.
Procrastination often stems from the lizard brain's preference for avoiding struggle and uncertainty.
The lizard brain's tactics of avoiding uncertainty and struggle can limit personal growth and development.
Fear can rob us of opportunities for growth, as illustrated by stories of individuals avoiding challenges due to fear.
Seth Godin's teachings on the lizard brain emphasize that fear is a compass for identifying brave and powerful actions.
Attempting to destroy or defeat the lizard brain is futile; instead, we should learn to dance with it.
Fear should be seen as a natural human response to challenges, not as a sign of weakness or unpreparedness.
The concept of 'dancing with fear' suggests using fear as a signal for engaging in learning experiences.
Liz Gilbert's 'Big Magic' advises keeping fear in the back seat, acknowledging its presence without letting it control our actions.
Dancing with fear is a skill that can be developed and improved over time through practice.
The speaker's personal experience with fear during presentations was transformed by understanding and embracing it.
The speaker encourages incremental steps outside the comfort zone to build resilience and reduce fear over time.
The transcript concludes with the message that everyone can learn to spend more time outside their comfort zone to foster growth.
Transcripts
[Music]
we learn the best when we operate at the
edge of our abilities and a little bit
outside of our comfort zone the truth is
I could go in for a few hours about what
that looks like and how we can do that
but today I want to zoom in on sort of
an underrated angle which is why do we
hate getting out of our comfort zone I
think if you dig into the research of
learning and development it's pretty
clear that one of our biggest hurdles to
become a great learner is fear the fear
of looking bad the fear of the unknown
the fear of messing up that's a huge
reason we definitely prefer it in our
comfort zone the good news is anybody
can learn to beat fear that's a skill
that any of us can develop but the way
that we do that is much different than
you might think my intent today is very
straightforward it's just to bridge the
gap between what the science says about
fear and how we normally think about it
and talk about it first we need to talk
about where fear comes from it's
actually wired in and it comes from a
region of our brain called our amygdala
and some people call this our lizard
brain it doesn't really matter what you
call it we know a few things about this
first everybody has an amygdala it lives
right by our brainstem it's about the
size of two almonds it's there for
survival it's there to keep us alive and
one of its most common tactics to
keeping us alive is it generates fear to
steer us away from danger which is why
if we're at a baseball game and the
batter accidentally throws their bat and
it's flying into the crowd most people
duck that's our lizard brain at play
it's quick and reactive it detects a
threat generates fear we duck it's also
why I can walk around the edge of this
dot and I feel perfectly fine because
it's about two centimeters high if this
was a hundred and fifty feet high I
would be freaking out right now
that's my lizard brain generating fear
saying dude get away from the edge of
the cliff our lizard brain is great at
its job however there's a bit of a
glitch to the system the glitches our
amygdala doesn't really know the
different
between the good challenges and the
dangerous ones in life
and it doesn't know the difference
between the good and bad risks
so it's tactic is really to just avoid
them altogether there are four sort of
triggers that really enhance and create
fear uncertainty attention change in
struggle the idea here is if these four
elements are present fear will be
present now I think we can all agree
that those four elements could
absolutely describe a dangerous
situation but they're also present in
the best learning opportunities as well
they're present when we perform and
compete in art in music learning
involves lots of these things and again
if these four elements are present fear
will be present and more times than not
would we feel fear we find a way to
avoid doing the thing which is excellent
when it comes to danger but not ideal
for learning so yes this keeps us safe
from bats flying at our head but this is
also why we don't like to ask and answer
questions in a group think about it if I
called on you and you raised your hand
to speak up and give an answer what
happens most of the people in the room
go boom and they look at you you have
attention there's also some uncertainty
at play it might be the wrong answer or
a dumb question with uncertainty and
attention comes fear more times than not
we don't ask the question we call that
the lizard won the battle this small
little moment would challenge us and
stretch us out of our comfort zone we
feel fear we don't ask we've all been
there this is why back in the day you
had a paper due in two weeks what day
would you write the paper night before
same every time
procrastination in a big way is coming
from the lizard brain because every day
leading up to the due date we have a
choice to sit down and do the research
and write or watch Netflix which one do
you think my lizard wants Netflix but
let's talk about why through the eyes of
the lizard the world is black and white
it doesn't really know what we're doing
in its eyes it's either I could struggle
right now or not struggle it's always
going to choose to not struggle another
tactic I do
I call it downgrading the struggle like
rather than writing a new article on my
website I'll vacuum my house three times
I'm staying busy but I'm choosing the
option that involves less struggle
uncertainty attention or change this is
why I wake up in the morning and say I
am definitely gonna cook a healthy meal
tonight and then I work all day and I'm
driving home feeling tired and my car
does this really weird thing it sees the
Chipotle and go scoop and pulls him
that's my lizard brain at play in that
moment I'm presented a choice I could
have something salty fatty and delicious
right now or go to the store buy the
ingredients go home and prepare them
which one do you think my lizard wants
Chipotle with extra guac
now I want to be clear that the tactic
of taking what we can get and getting it
now choosing easy over hard instant
gratification that is excellent back in
the day for survival and we didn't know
when our next meal was gonna be it's
great to keep us out of danger but we're
playing a different game now but the
software is the same this is also why
giving this talk is way harder than the
one I did last night in my hotel room
this is also why we've all been in our
basement watching TV for a couple hours
and we know for a fact there are no
monsters in the basement but then you
turn the TV off and you turn the lights
off and then you walk upstairs like this
that's our lizard brain think about that
we know nothing's in the basement but as
soon as it's dark the lizard goes look
I'm gone it's kind of funny the joke
about the problem is that's the force
that's driving lots of our behavior
that's the force that's making lots of
our decisions I guess what I'm getting
at is the tactic of avoiding uncertainty
attention struggle and change is great
if we're in danger but most of our life
is spent not really in danger and in
this case that tactic really robs us of
amazing opportunities to grow I've had
the absolute honour of teaching research
like this and principles like this to
hundreds of groups all around the world
I've worked with major league baseball
teams I've worked with hundreds of
schools students of all ages fortune 500
companies and even inside of a prison
before and when we teach this we ask a
powerful question when has fear robbed
you of an opportunity to grow the
responses I think say a lot one
everybody has a response which means no
matter who we are what we do this
happens fear robbing us of experiences a
third-grader we taught this concept to
them he got up and he shared he said I
play baseball and in every game I tell
my coach I want to play in right field
because no one ever hits the ball to
right field he said I want to play in
the infield but I'm afraid if someone
hits a ball at me I might mess up so I
always play right field everybody can
relate to that story but there is
something we wanted to do could do maybe
even should do but when the time comes
to do it we end up in right field that's
our comfort zone and we've all been
there a high school student shared she
was in the final qualifying round to get
on the voice the singing show and that
she had to sing one more song and if it
went well she could have made it on it
came time to sing the song she freaked
out and left she shared this in front of
her classmates and many of the students
in the room gave her the scrunched up
what are you thinking look and they're
kind of right like singing that song
could have changed her life
here's the truth about fear it's really
easy to sit in a comfortable room and
talk about what we could do and should
do and it's even easier to talk about
what other people could do and should do
like it's easy to say on paper of course
the third graders should play in the
infield he'll be fine and on paper of
course she should have got on the stage
saying the song that's easy to say but
the truth is if we're in their shoes
with their experiences we probably do
the same thing because fear is such a
powerful force the other angle I want to
talk about with her example we don't
know how it would shake down but I think
we can agree on two things you can't
make it on the show if you don't sing
the song just like you can't get the job
if you don't apply and you can't get
into the college unless you send in your
app so fear is robbing us of many
potential outcomes but it also robs us
of something else that's maybe even more
important and that's the experience that
getting on the stage and singing the
song that applying for the job and going
through the interview process that's
those are good experiences whether we
make it or not and fears getting in the
way of that every day no matter who we
are what we do fears robbing us of
opportunities to grow I actually learned
about this topic from my hero that guy
right there his name is Seth Godin he is
my absolute hero and I had the honor of
skyping with him a few years ago and we
had an incredible conversation about
fear he taught me about the lizard brain
and what it does as he was going through
this it rocked my world big time because
as he was teaching me this I was
flashing back to all the times in my
life that fear is messed me up
here's my biggest I actually grew up in
Lander Wyoming which is also called the
middle of nowhere and it was my dream
since about fifth grade to go to school
at Duke University and I was obsessed
with that from fifth to twelfth grade I
chased that with everything I had long
story short I was accepted into the into
the school probably because they needed
someone from way
but I cut in and I got out to Durham
North Carolina for my first year of
college thousands of miles from home I
was way out of my comfort zone which
meant there was a lot of fear I felt
like everybody there was smarter than me
and better than me and richer than me
and that I didn't really belong during
my first year of classes at my dream
school I never said a word in a class I
never asked a question never answered a
question didn't participate in
discussion on the days I was supposed to
get up and present like this
I skipped why because my lizard was at
the wheel generating lots of fear I felt
if I gave the wrong answer they were
gonna know I'm the guy from Wyoming that
doesn't belong here
the way I see it fear robbed me of a
year of development at an incredible
school so let's go back to this
conversation with Seth as he's teaching
me this and I flashback to that I think
you can start to guess what I asked him
next my question was how do you get rid
of this because my thinking was fear
made me bad at learning if I removed the
fear then I could be good at learning so
the question I asked is how do you kill
the lizard brain his response changed my
life
he said I'm thrilled you asked the
question that way because that is
exactly the wrong question that if
you're seeking to destroy defeat conquer
the lizard brain you will fail your
brain is nothing but a chemistry
experiment it's electricity and
chemicals and when you push back on the
lizard brain when you try to bargain and
reason with the lizard brain it freaks
out it inflames
you cannot win but what you can do is
dance with the lizard brain what you can
do is realize that our lizard brain is a
compass and then when it freaks out it's
telling you that you're on to something
that you're about to do something that's
brave and bold and powerful and that we
should listen to it by doing the
opposite of what it wants us to do I
think if we zoom out this concept of
dancing with fear and using it as a
compass is brilliant if we know our
lizard
absolutely wants us to stay in our
comfort zone if we ever do get out of
our comfort zone of course it's going to
freak out the freak out is a signal that
we're in a learning experience if we
know how it works so now I'm standing up
here in front of you saying we should
use fear and feel fear and to be honest
that's a 180 from how I used to talk
about this I used to travel around
telling people to be fearless and to not
be afraid now that we understand how
fear works and where it comes from think
about the problems of that approach I
think there are two big ones in telling
someone to be fearless we're really
telling them to do something that can't
be done that if we're doing something
that involves uncertainty attention
struggle and change we're going to feel
fear and the only way to feel no fear is
to not do it
not care or hold back and that's not
what we want so logically if I care and
it involves uncertainty attention change
and struggle I'm gonna feel fear I can
name it what I want but that feeling is
there
I think the second problem is this
creates shame around fear and can make
it worse let's say you're sitting in the
lobby before your dream job interview
you're sitting there before you go in do
you care about that interview probably
is there some uncertainty yeah you might
get it you might not there's some
attention there struggle are you gonna
feel a little something sewn without a
doubt the problem is if everyone around
you is telling you you have to be
fearless don't be afraid do you see how
that can start to snowball and create
shame you might be sitting there and go
oh I'm not supposed to feel like this
something must be wrong I must not be
ready no one else feels like this and
all of that can snowball and make the
fear worse but it's all coming from this
flawed idea of I'm not supposed to feel
fear the big upgrade we're trying to
make is for people to understand feeling
fear before a big job interview or a
performance or a talk anything that
stretches us and challenges us it
doesn't mean something's wrong it
doesn't mean we're not ready
it means we're a human that's the human
response with our old-school approach to
fear we look at it is a very negative
thing so we assume the presence of fear
means I can't or shouldn't do this with
our upgraded approach we realized it's
natural it's human and with that
knowledge you see we're more likely to
put ourselves in those situations we're
more likely to do the thing which helps
us learn grow and get better to be
honest with you no topic that I've
learned about learning has helped me
more than this one that before that
conversation with Seth I was an absolute
mess before during and after
presentations like this and I assumed
that all the fear that I felt was
because I was too young or not smart
enough to do this literally since the
day he gave me permission to feel fear
it's totally changed the way that I do
this but it doesn't mean the fear goes
away I've done almost 900 talks like
this in the last three years
dancing with fear is a skill so the more
that we do it the better we get but
speaking from experience the fear
doesn't go anywhere
my lizard is freaking out right now this
is a skill this is something we can all
get better at I think we need to steal a
page from Liz Gilbert's brilliant book
big magic where she talks a lot about
fear in fact she has a letter to fear
and she talks about how we need to keep
fear in the back seat of our car knowing
that we can't kick it out of the car we
have to keep it in the back seat I think
it's brilliant because the problem is
when the lizard is at the wheel it
detects many learning opportunities as
threats every problem challenge obstacle
or change through the eyes of the lizard
is a threat when we detect threats we
find a way to avoid them if we can put
the lizard in the back seat and we take
the wheel we realize most of those
things are actually opportunities when
we frame them as opportunities we're
more likely to do them experience them
and it helps us learn grow and get
better over time once again this is a
skill which means it's something that we
can build up to I'm not saying go home
tonight and pick the
that freaks you out the most and do it
tomorrow but I am saying in treating
this as a skill we can start to get reps
and practice of feeling fear and asking
the question anyways feeling fear and
volunteering for the project a little
bit outside of our comfort zone the more
that we do that we're building that
muscle for the bigger leaps we'll make
later nobody is perfect with this my
lizard brain still wins lots and lots of
battles the idea is to be aware of the
process and aware of our choices and
work to spend a little more time outside
of our comfort zone and that is
something that we can all do I hope this
will help you do that
thank you
[Applause]
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