How to Fall in Love with Yourself. Abandonment Reversed (Episode 119)

Summary

In this insightful podcast, the host introduces a transformative approach to self-love, urging listeners to treat themselves as they would a loved one. By redefining the relationship with oneself through empathy, self-advocacy, and genuine care, the host provides actionable steps to repair self-esteem and never question one's worth again. The episode also promotes the speaker's nationwide tour, 'In Leo We Trust,' sharing deeper insights on confidence and personal growth.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The speaker introduces a new approach to self-love, emphasizing the importance of never questioning one's worth or value regardless of others' treatment.
• 🎙️ The speaker is going on a tour called 'In Leo, We Trust' to discuss confidence and share deep insights learned recently, including perspectives on resentment.
• 🤔 A key exercise is to imagine being in the body of someone you love to understand how to treat oneself with the same care and attention.
• 🛡️ Prioritizing one's feelings and well-being over others' convenience is a form of self-love, akin to how one would protect a loved one.
• 📲 Checking in with oneself regularly, as one would with a loved one, fosters a deeper connection and self-awareness.
• 🛑 Being willing to halt daily activities for oneself, as one would for a loved one in distress, is a sign of self-importance and care.
• 💭 Combating negative self-talk by reassuring oneself as one would a loved one builds emotional resilience and self-worth.
• 🔨 Recognizing the impact of one's actions on oneself, and being willing to endure short-term pain for long-term gain, aligns with self-discipline.
• ⏰ Making time for oneself, as one would for a loved one, is crucial for self-connection and self-appreciation.
• 🎉 Celebrating one's own accomplishments and treating them as importantly as one would celebrate a loved one reinforces self-importance.
• 👁 Seeing oneself in entirety rather than focusing on flaws, as one would do for a loved one, promotes a holistic self-image and acceptance.
• 🤝 Justifying emotions is unnecessary; one should acknowledge their feelings as valid without needing to prove them, as one would with a loved one.
• 🤗 Reassuring oneself with 'I'm with you' during challenging times can be as comforting and transformative as offering the same reassurance to a loved one.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the podcast episode discussed in the transcript?

The main theme of the podcast episode is a new approach to self-love and how to never question one's worth or value again, regardless of how others treat them.

What was the title of the previous podcast episode mentioned in the transcript?

The title of the previous podcast episode mentioned is 'Episode 18', which focused on self-love and a 12-step journey towards it.

What is the name of the speaker's upcoming tour, and what is its significance?

The name of the speaker's upcoming tour is 'In Leo, We Trust'. It signifies the speaker's intention to discuss confidence at a deeper level than before, sharing new perspectives and insights gained from recent experiences.

How does the speaker suggest treating oneself as one would treat someone they love?

The speaker suggests treating oneself with the same care, attention, and respect as one would for someone they love, including prioritizing one's feelings, checking in on one's emotional state, and being an advocate for oneself.

What is the speaker's perspective on the importance of self-advocacy?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy by stating that one should not be afraid to inconvenience others for the sake of their own well-being and comfort, just as they would do for someone they love.

How does the speaker recommend dealing with feelings of discomfort in social situations?

The speaker recommends acknowledging one's discomfort and, if necessary, leaving the situation without forcing oneself to stay out of fear of inconveniencing others.

What is the significance of the speaker's approach to self-love in terms of emotional well-being?

The speaker's approach to self-love is significant for emotional well-being as it promotes self-compassion, self-awareness, and self-respect, which are crucial for maintaining a healthy emotional state.

How does the speaker address the issue of self-criticism and second-guessing oneself?

The speaker advises to treat oneself with the same kindness and reassurance as one would for someone they love, combating negative self-talk and focusing on the entirety of oneself rather than just the flaws.

What is the speaker's advice on celebrating personal accomplishments?

The speaker encourages celebrating personal accomplishments with a moment of gratitude and appreciation, just as one would for someone they love, to reinforce the importance and value of one's achievements.

How does the speaker suggest one should view themselves in relation to their flaws and desires for self-improvement?

The speaker suggests viewing oneself in their entirety, acknowledging but not solely focusing on flaws or areas of desired improvement, much like one would do for someone they love.

What is the final piece of advice the speaker gives for reinforcing self-love and self-worth?

The final piece of advice is to reassure oneself with the phrase 'I'm with you,' signifying a commitment to self-support and self-companionship, regardless of emotional state or life circumstances.

Outlines

00:00

💡 New Approach to Self-Love

The speaker introduces a novel perspective on self-love, emphasizing the importance of never questioning one's worth. They discuss an upcoming tour called 'In Leo, We Trust,' which will delve into confidence and personal growth. The speaker also mentions a past podcast episode about their journey to self-love, highlighting the idea that it's a continuous process rather than a fixed state. They encourage the audience to buy tickets for the tour through the links provided in the description and social media bios.

05:02

🤔 Prioritizing Self-Care and Emotional Well-being

This paragraph focuses on the concept of self-advocacy and the importance of prioritizing one's own feelings and needs. The speaker suggests that people should treat themselves with the same care and consideration they would give to someone they love. They discuss the idea of not being afraid to inconvenience others for the sake of one's own comfort and well-being, and the importance of checking in with oneself regularly. The speaker also emphasizes the need to stand up for oneself and to be willing to disappoint others if necessary for personal growth and happiness.

10:03

🌟 Embracing Self-Compassion and Discipline

The speaker continues the theme of self-love by discussing the importance of self-compassion and discipline. They suggest that individuals should be willing to stop their day to address their own emotional needs, just as they would for someone they love. The speaker also touches on the idea of being aware of one's actions and their impact, and the willingness to endure short-term pain for long-term gain. They advocate for making time for oneself and celebrating personal achievements, emphasizing the value of self-celebration and the positive reinforcement it provides.

15:05

💕 Celebrating Personal Interests and Prioritizing Self-Worth

In this paragraph, the speaker talks about the importance of valuing one's own interests and not criticizing oneself for what is important to them. They encourage the audience to make time for activities they enjoy and to stop questioning the value of their own interests. The speaker also discusses the importance of complimenting oneself and celebrating personal achievements, like birthdays or accomplishments, to reinforce a positive self-image and a strong sense of self-worth.

20:06

🎉 The Importance of Self-Celebration and Acknowledging Emotions

The speaker emphasizes the need for self-celebration and the acknowledgment of one's own emotions. They recount a personal experience of deciding to celebrate their own birthday despite initial reluctance, as a way of practicing self-love. The speaker encourages the audience to celebrate their accomplishments and to appreciate their own worth. They also stress the importance of not forcing oneself to justify their feelings, advocating for the acceptance and validation of one's own emotions without the need for external validation.

25:07

🤝 Reassurance and Emotional Support

The final paragraph discusses the power of reassurance and emotional support in the context of self-love. The speaker shares the personal practice of verbally reassuring oneself, using the phrase 'I'm with you,' to foster a sense of companionship and support. They highlight the transformative effect this can have on one's emotional state, especially during moments of vulnerability or challenge. The speaker concludes by reinforcing the idea that self-love is an ongoing practice that can provide a solid foundation of self-appreciation, regardless of external relationships or circumstances.

Keywords

💡Self-love

Self-love refers to the appreciation and care that one has for oneself. It is a central theme in the video, emphasizing the importance of treating oneself with the same kindness and respect as one would treat a loved one. The video discusses various ways to cultivate self-love, such as prioritizing one's own needs and feelings, and not questioning one's worth.

💡Value

Value, in this context, pertains to the intrinsic worth or importance of oneself. The speaker discusses the struggle of not questioning one's value, especially in the face of others' treatment. The video encourages viewers to see their value as unshakeable, regardless of external opinions.

💡Emotional Care

Emotional care involves looking after one's feelings and mental state. The script mentions the importance of being attentive to one's emotions, similar to how one would care for a loved one's feelings, suggesting that self-compassion and acknowledgment of one's emotional state are crucial for self-love.

💡Advocacy

Advocacy, in the context of the video, means standing up for oneself and one's needs. The speaker talks about not being afraid to inconvenience others for the sake of one's own comfort or well-being, illustrating that self-advocacy is a key component of self-love.

💡Perspective

Perspective refers to a particular way of considering or regarding something. The video introduces a new perspective on self-love, urging viewers to consider how they would treat a loved one in their care and apply those same actions towards themselves.

💡Resentment

Resentment is a feeling of bitterness or indignation due to perceived unfairness. The speaker mentions having cracked a 'big one' about resentment, suggesting that overcoming or understanding resentment is part of the journey towards self-love and self-acceptance.

💡Discipline

Discipline is the practice of training oneself to obey rules or a code of behavior. The script mentions discipline in the context of making tough decisions that may cause short-term pain but are beneficial in the long run, highlighting the role of discipline in personal growth and self-care.

💡Prioritization

Prioritization is the act of arranging tasks or activities in order of importance. The video emphasizes the need to prioritize self-care and personal time, just as one would make time for someone they love, to demonstrate self-respect and self-love.

💡Compliments

Compliments are expressions of praise or admiration. The speaker encourages giving oneself compliments, just as one would for a loved one, to foster a positive self-image and reinforce self-love.

💡Celebration

Celebration is the act of acknowledging and honoring achievements or milestones. The video script talks about the importance of celebrating oneself and one's accomplishments, as a means of recognizing and appreciating one's own worth.

💡Validation

Validation is the act of confirming the truth or value of something. In the context of the video, self-validation involves acknowledging and accepting one's feelings without needing to justify them, which is essential for emotional well-being and self-love.

💡Support

Support means to bear all or part of the weight of something or to hold it up. The speaker uses the phrase 'I'm with you' to illustrate the concept of self-support, suggesting that reassuring oneself of one's own support can be a powerful tool for self-love and emotional stability.

Highlights

A new approach to self-love that helps individuals never question their worth or value, regardless of external treatment.

The concept that self-love is a journey that requires work, not just a feeling that one has or lacks.

A personal tour called 'In Leo We Trust' focusing on confidence and deeper insights gained from recent experiences.

The importance of treating oneself with the same care and consideration as one would a loved one.

Practical steps to repair the relationship with oneself by imagining being responsible for the well-being of a loved one.

The idea of not being afraid to inconvenience others for the sake of one's own comfort and well-being.

Checking in with oneself regularly to understand and address one's feelings and needs, as one would with a loved one.

Being willing to halt daily activities to attend to one's own emotional state, as one would for a loved one in distress.

The necessity of combating negative self-talk and reassuring oneself, just as one would support a loved one.

Recognizing the importance of one's own actions and their impact on personal well-being, including the willingness to endure short-term pain for long-term gain.

Making time for oneself and prioritizing self-care, similar to how one would for a loved one.

Celebrating one's own accomplishments and treating them as significant, just as one would celebrate a loved one.

Seeing oneself in entirety, embracing all aspects, not just the flaws or areas for improvement.

The importance of not justifying emotions but simply acknowledging and validating one's feelings.

Reassuring oneself with phrases like 'I'm with you' to foster a sense of self-compassion and support.

The transformative power of treating oneself with the same love and care as one would a loved one, solidifying self-worth.

Transcripts

hi friends I have a whole new approach

to self-love and loving yourself and I

need to share it with you and this is

basically how to never question your

worth or your value again regardless of

how other people treat you my old

podcast episode episode 18 was about

selflove and my kind of 12 steps journey

to it and in that episode I talked about

how self- love is not just the feeling

that pops out of your ass like you have

it or you don't it's something you can

work toward and something you kind of

have to work toward and this new way of

looking at it is the best approach I've

found this far and this New Perspective

I unlocked on it is the best thing I've

found so I'm going to tell you exactly

how I repaired my relationship to myself

and this whole thing but I have to tell

you first I'm going back on tour if

you're watching this episode or

listening to it right now tickets are on

sale for all new cities I'm going all

over the United States as of right now I

have 20 shows that I'm doing and I'm

going everywhere all over over the US so

a lot of you got mad that I didn't come

to your city or come to a city near you

but this time I'm coming all over I just

had to do a little mini tour to test it

out but like I said if you're hearing

this right now tickets are on sale so

the link will be in the description of

this podcast whether you're on YouTube

or apple podcast Spotify any of the

audio versions and all the ticket links

will be in my social media bios on every

platform and this tour is called in Leo

We Trust cuz I just think it's

funny and you guys love that I am going

to be talking about confidence for the

most part but it's going to be 10 times

deeper than I did before the things I've

learned over the past few months and the

perspectives I've cracked I cracked a

big one recently about resentment and

I'm probably going to do a podcast

episode about it soon but everything I'm

going to talk about on this next tour is

going to be at a level I didn't even

know existed till I hit it I am so

godamn excited I can't I'm trying to

like keep it together and contain myself

but I'm so excited exed for this so if

you want a ticket the links are in the

description the last mini tour sold out

so I warned you if you don't get a

ticket sorry don't come screaming at me

later okay now let's get into the new

mental frame around self-love this is

the perspective that's going to help you

never question yourself again because I

just went through a period of that of

feeling unappreciated by people and

feeling like my value was not seen and I

started to question it we're done with

that we're never doing that again so

this is the way to experience the love

that you give other people and to

completely flip your relationship to

yourself I want you to think about the

person that you love most most people

it's going to be in a relationship and I

kind of took this into a relationship

standpoint think about someone you're

dating or the like perfect person you

can imagine to date or just use someone

you love a lot like your parent or your

kid or whoever imagine you switched

bodies for a day and you are responsible

for taking care of this person that you

love so much like you just got to be in

their body for a day now how would you

take care

of that body how would you take care of

the emotions that come up and how would

you take care of the mind that's inside

that body of the person that you love

the most this question is going to

reveal everything that needs to change

in your approach to yourself and I made

a full list of everything that I would

do and how I would treat the person that

I love the most so I'm going to run you

through my list and give you actual like

applicable daily steps and things you

can Implement make this very practical

but if you want to make make your own

list make your own list because when you

see how you would treat the person you

love the most if you were inside their

body and dealing with their emotions and

their feelings you'll be able to see how

you treat yourself is not like someone

you love the first thing I want to point

out before I jump into my list is when

you just think about being in the

person's physical body when it's someone

you love you're going to take care of

that body and cherish it you're going to

take care of it like something that you

cherish so that's going to go ahead and

reveal a lot about how you currently

treat your your body but let's jump into

my list about the deeper things like the

emotional stuff the mental stuff so

first thing on my list when I care about

somebody I'm not afraid to hurt other

people's feelings for the person I love

what I prioritize and what I care more

about is that the person that I love is

okay and comfortable and they're taking

care of their feelings are top of

consideration for me other people are

still considered but the person I love

comes over it I don't really worry about

that being an inconvenience to other

people like for me to put my effort and

focus and attention into them into

loving them and making sure they're all

right I don't really care if I'm an

inconvenience it doesn't matter to me

and I'm not talking about things always

having animosity and things being angry

and aggressive and mean of course I mean

stand up for them and protect them like

stand up for yourself and protect

yourself like you would someone you love

but I'm talking the little things when

you're in your head and you're worried

about how doing any little thing might

piss some somebody off or make them mad

at you like the whole rigid and like the

fear and like worry to take a step to

make yourself feel better when it comes

to someone you love you don't have that

you feel free to step up and take care

of the person that you love and you're

never going to realize how special that

is and how much that's appreciated until

you start doing it for yourself you're

allowed to be a bother to other people

that's showing yourself that you love

yourself I don't mean in the DraStic

extent I'm saying any thing you're

worried about doing that might

inconvenience somebody if it's to make

you feel better so be it do it be your

own Advocate speak up for yourself like

you would someone you love even if it's

as small as leaving somewhere you're

uncomfortable don't force yourself to

stay somewhere if you don't like it and

you're uncomfortable there if you don't

have to stay Let Yourself Go if other

people are going to get disappointed or

upset okay if someone you love was

uncomfortable at a party or at an event

or something that you're at if they were

uncomfortable and wanted to leave would

you tell them shut up no so and so is

going to get mad we're going to stay

here no you would take what they wanted

and what they felt into consideration

and make that important and you would

get them out of there you would leave

with them and make sure they're okay

because you wouldn't want to force them

to stay somewhere they're uncomfortable

take that same approach to yourself and

if you need to disappoint people so be

it it's not a hateful thing it's not a

mad thing it's just no longer hindering

yourself because you're so scared of

being a bother and example I've used

before is like when you're on the

airplane and you got to pee and you're

on an inside seat a lot of people myself

included I used to be so insecure and

worried to inconvenience and bother the

person next to me because I had to pee I

would literally force myself to sit

there and go to a point where I was in

pain just so I didn't voice to the

person hey can you get up so I can go

pee not letting yourself suffer for a

little like that is huge and you're

never going to feel safe with yourself

until you start to speak up for yourself

and advocate for yourself but I wanted

to bring up flipping it like someone you

care about would you force someone you

love to sit there would you tell them to

sit there and shut up and don't be an

inconvenience or would you say that's

not too much to ask at all ask them to

get up and go piss what you would do for

the person you love is the approach you

need to take that's how you can kind of

check if you're being unreasonable the

next thing on my list is you know how

when you're dating somebody you text

them throughout the day and check on

them and you're just always wondering

what they're doing what they're up to

you check on them because you care treat

yourself the same way start checking in

on yourself don't text yourself that's

kind of weird but what I mean by this is

you have just the genuine curiosity of

the person that you're dating you check

in on them you want to know what they're

doing you want to know how they're

feeling start checking in with yourself

like that wonder how you're doing check

in with you and your internal world what

do you feeling what are you thinking

what's going on what's T check in on

yourself the way you text and check on

someone you love and that just comes

from a genuine place of just wanting to

know how they're doing and then watch

how much more looked after and cared for

you feel by yourself and then tell me

that's not

valuable next thing on my list when it

comes to someone that I love I'm willing

to stop my day if they're not all right

you need to take that same approach to

yourself you need to be willing to Halt

what you're doing if you can don't be

too dramatic with it but be willing to

halt your day like if your person texts

you and says they're upset or they're

really down or something's bothering

them you halt what you're doing to give

them your attention and your focus when

you feel down and you feel upset if

you're willing to halt your day for

someone you love you need to make room

and do that for yourself also and I do

want to clear up something because a lot

of people get too extreme with this

and they forget discipline so the way

that I Implement discipline with this

because you sometimes can't just stop

your day but checking in with yourself

when you do feel something off before

you do something even if you're going to

do it just checking in and seeing how

you're feeling and noticing it and then

choosing to do what you wanted to do

anyways is different because you're

taking an action from a standpoint of

being aware of what's going on and being

like okay I feel this way I'm still

going to do this thing versus feeling

something not paying attention to it

bulldozing it avoiding it closing your

eyes to it and just going for it anyway

there might be something you need to

take into consideration with yourself

and if there's something you can do to

make yourself feel better about what

you're about to do check in with

yourself so that you know what to do

this seems like such an easy concept but

we forget about it and that's something

that tends to slit my mind a lot when

I'm really really busy but since I've

started implementing all this I feel

brought back to life you are the only

person that's ever going to be able to

make sure you're okay and just check in

with yourself and knowing what's going

on is the best thing you can do just

acknowledging it even if you're going to

still continue forward with what you

need to do just being aware of it

checking in and looking after yourself

and just genuinely being concerned with

what's going on inside you giving your

attention to it like you would for

someone you love that's not you like

outside of you next thing we need to

talk about is when someone you love is

down on themselves or they're second

guessing their selves and they're kind

of beating themselves up a little little

bit how you going to treat someone when

you see them doing that to themselves

and if you take on the perspective of

being inside the person you loves body

how you going to respond to those

thoughts and the things going on in the

person's mind that you love you just in

their body observing it how are you

going to reassure this body you're in

for the person you love how are you

going to approach those thoughts because

you see the value in the person that you

love you're just in their environment

you're in their body observing what's

going on how are you going to address it

how are you going to take care of those

thoughts you're not just going to let

them go and let them beat the person you

love up you're going to combat them and

be like no the person I love is not

worthless they're not stupid they're not

dumb and you're going to want to

reassure the thoughts inside the person

you loves head do that in your own head

when you're second guessing yourself you

have to be accountable duh like always

be accountable and check yourself you

would check the person you love I hope

I'm like that I check the people that I

care about out but I also reassure them

like I see and call out what needs to be

called out but I don't do it in a way

that's degrading and dismissive to all

their other qualities I remind them of

all their other qualities and Empower

them and reassure them literally anytime

you start worrying about it just imagine

these thoughts in the person's mind you

love and you're in their body look at

how you approach it look at how you

handle them and then use that to

yourself all right next on my list is

when I care about somebody I'm very very

aware of how my actions impact them and

what will hurt them or what could

potentially be damaging to them and then

I do not do them if you were in the

person you loves body for a day what

actions would you not take that you

usually do in your own body what would

you have to stop doing but another angle

with that one is with the people that I

love and the people that I care about I

am willing to do things that hurt them

if what I'm doing is in line with what's

best for them if I see something is

beneficial to someone I love and care

about if it means causing them a little

bit of pain right now for what's best

for them I'm willing to do it I'm

willing to hurt them a little to get

them to what they need and what they

really want if you need to remove

something remove it because you see why

you're doing it you see the positive

benefit now with yourself if you know

that there's something you need to do or

something that could cause you pain pain

but would benefit you and if pain is The

Upfront thing you need to deal with but

what you want is on the other side you

need to be willing to endure that and

put yourself through that to get to what

you want that goes in line with

discipline that goes in line with so

many things but just doing what you need

to do doing what's best for you is not a

fun thing it's a pain in the ass but

this perspective makes it a lot easier

for me next thing with people you love

what do you do you make time for them

you prioritize them you like hanging out

with them one of my favorite things to

do is hang out with myself but you have

to make the time to hang out with

yourself and to be alone and have your

own little moment prioritizing and

making sure you have time for someone

you love is something you need to

experience if you do not feel like you

love yourself you need to make time and

schedule time if you have to if you're

that busy make time to be with yourself

and sit with yourself I'm not saying you

have to meditate and all this

I'm just saying hang out with yourself

read something Journal something

something check in with yourself put on

some music hang out have a time where

there's no distraction I mean finish my

podcast but like have a time when

there's no distraction from you just

hang out with you do what you want to do

go shopping One Day by yourself go take

yourself to dinner but the point behind

this is making time for yourself because

it sends you the message you are worth

prioritizing and you get to feel what

it's like to have someone make time for

you it's yourself but like I said in the

beginning of this this is about not

questioning the love you have to give

and how you care about people and

actually loving yourself when you

experience this you know what other

people feel when you make time for them

you see how valuable it is when you give

that to other people by giving it to

yourself that's the main thing with all

this next thing this is gets delusional

with a lot of people but you know when

you're dating somebody or you really

care about somebody and what is

important to them no longer seems weird

like people can be into some weird

and you all of a sudden are like cool

with it and you're like okay this is

important and you make it be important

for them and you let it be important for

them and you prioritize it and you make

sure they get to do what's important to

them you don't criticize what's

important to them stop criticizing

what's important to you if you like

something do it it's not up for

criticism it's not up to be questioned

and dissected you're allowed for what's

important to you to be important to you

so start showing yourself that's okay

the same way you would do that for

someone that you do care about and that

you do love and I do want to emphasize

even if it's some weird other

people don't have to understand if it's

important to you it's important to you

that's okay that's fine but you allowing

yourself to let it be important is the

thing here you're allowed to like what

you like not like it next thing is a

little one but it's big when you care

about somebody a lot you be

complimenting them you be appreciating

them give compliments to yourself God

damn it like when you get in the mirror

or you like something about yourself

give yourself a compliment like make a

mental note of it and point it out for

yourself like the way that you point

things out and you say things to make

someone you love feel good do that about

you it's not weird to compliment

yourself it's not weird to look in the

mirror and be like hey you ate with this

fit that's kind of cute or to be nice

and be like okay you look hot the

like complimenting yourself and giving

yourself encouragement and little boosts

like this is huge that's something

people forget to do and there's so much

shame around it you're allowed to

compliment yourself and that's one thing

I wish a lot of people would do more and

not make it seem like it's so weird and

anyone watching this video you don't

have to worry about the misplaced

confidence you barely have any

if you're dealing with self- Lov you're

cripplingly insecure when you're on this

spectrum if you're watching this video

you can never get to a point where you

delusionally have a big head you're

allowed to compliment yourself you know

it takes a lot to get a compliment from

yourself if you're watching this I know

I see you but literally practice giving

yourself compliments like the same way

you would give to someone that you love

start looking at yourself like that it's

fine to be like I'm funny as or

like that was cute whatever I just did

that was cute or just anything you can

appreciate about yourself take a second

to do it it's not weird it's not crazy

it's necessary and if you want to tap

into the perspective of being inside

their body what little things do they

say and like think that's cute like what

little mannerisms do they have where

you're like oh that's cute look at

yourself like that start looking at

every little thing that you do and be

like oh okay like appreciate it for a

goddamn second okay before we keep going

we're going to take a second to talk

about the sponsors of today's podcast

the first one is Zach do and this is

going to be your new go-to for anything

you need with a doctor zok is a free app

and website where you can search and

compare highly rated in network doctors

near you and instantly book appointments

with them online once you find the

doctor you want you can book immediately

so you don't have to wait on the phone

and deal with the receptionist and stuff

like that but also they have verified

patient reviews so you can go through

and read the reviews on every doctor and

find the one that seems the best

reviewed and suited to you kind of like

when you're in college or you're in high

school and you can look up the teachers

and get reviews on the teachers before

you book their class you can see if

they're good or not same thing with the

doctors you can filter specifically for

the doctors who take your insurance are

located near you and treat basically any

condition you're searching for the

typical wait time to see a doctor booked

on Zach do is between 24 and 72 hours

and some of them you can even get same

day appointments so keep this in mind

anytime you need a doctor in the future

and go to Zach do.com SL aware and

download the Zach do app for free and

you can find and book a top rated doctor

today that's Z

do.com aware our next sponsor is Lumi

and they're a deodorant company and this

is very important for me because I'm a

type that will not leave the house if I

don't have deodorant on and I will turn

the car around and go back home to get

deodorant if I forgot it but Lumi is a

wholebody deodorant company created by

an OBGYN and Lumi is powered by mandelic

acid to control order in a New Way Lumi

delivers 72-hour Odor Control everywhere

from your pits your feet and yeah your

privates cuz it's a whole body deodorant

you could put it anywhere just not your

eyes and don't eat it and Lumi has over

300,000 fstar reviews Lumi starter pack

is perfect for new customers it comes

with a solid sck deodorant cream tube

deodorant and two free products of your

choice like a mini body wash and

deodorant wipes which I take to the gym

and free shipping just top it all off if

you're interested in trying it out new

customers get $5 off a Lumi starter pack

with code aware at Lumi deodorant

that equates to over 40% off your

starter pack when you visit lumi.com and

use code aware now back to the podcast

now the next thing with people I love is

I like to celebrate them whether it's

their birthday or an accomplishment or

something that they did giving them a

moment of praise and celebration with

them is a big thing I love to do it and

that's something I was not going to do

this year for my birthday was I was just

going to work through it because I have

a lot of stuff going on with this tour

and everything that's going into it it's

a lot of work but I was like I just want

to kind of skip my birthday and go over

it I'm 26 I feel like I'm getting old I

don't like it I just wanted to just not

celebrate it but I've hit this whole new

mindset and this new approach and I did

celebrate myself like you need to start

celebrating yourself and your

accomplishments and the things that you

do and Achieve with a moment of just

gratitude and appreciation for yourself

for it celebrate your goddamn self like

somebody you love if you would buy them

balloons go buy yourself balloons if you

would buy them flowers or buy them

champagne and drink with them do it get

your friends together celebrate yourself

make yourself important make what you've

accomplished be important and as soon as

you see it as important and you let

yourself feel important about it people

are going to want to join in the next

thing is a really really big one and

it's with the people you love you see

the entirety of them you see all of them

when you look at them whether it's

physically emotionally mentally any of

it you don't just look at them and see

their flaws do not do that to

yourself stop stop looking at yourself

and just seeing what's wrong with you

and the little few things you would

nitpick or the things that you want to

change look at the entirety of yourself

stop just focusing in and pinpointing

the things you don't like you don't look

at someone you love like that and I'm

not saying don't change things you want

to change I'm just saying don't only

focus on that look at and see yourself

entirely as a person instead of just

your flaws and just your issues

everybody has things they want to change

everybody has things they don't like but

when you look at someone you love you

don't only see those things so stop

doing that to you and literally watch

how much changes just off of that cuz

when you're insecure and you're not

operating like this you'll only see in

situations where you'll look back on

conversations be like oh I shouldn't

have said this or this wasn't funny I'm

annoying I'm this I'm that look at the

entirety of yourself not just this one

or two little things you said in a

minute conversation and nitpick yourself

for it there's things that the people we

love do that are annoying

there's little things that are like okay

irritating but we Overlook it because we

see them as an entire person not just

these one or two little flaws or one or

two little fuckups so that's one thing I

really want to say is don't be like that

to yourself you're not like that to

someone you love so put that toward you

now the next one is justifying

emotions when you love someone and you

care about someone they do not have to

explain

and build a case for why they feel the

way that they do when they come to you

and say they feel something you see it

for what it is and you acknowledge it

and say okay you don't poke at them and

make them prove that they're Justified

to feel the way that they do stop

doing that to you that's

something I had to crack recently very

recently is feeling like I needed to

build a case to prove why I feel the way

that I do me just saying I'm

uncomfortable I'm tired I don't like

this or I feel like I don't resonate

with this I felt like I had to fight to

hold on to and be allowed to hold this

emotion you don't have to fight to hold

an emotion how you feel is how

you feel so don't write yourself off or

look for all these things and all this

proof of why you're allowed to feel the

way that you do oh it's because I have

this this this this and this stop making

the proof you feel how you feel and

that's it stop fighting to feel like

you're allowed to acknowledge how you

feel and like feeling like you have to

prove your anger or prove your hurt or

prove your sadness because when you feel

like you have to justify feeling hurt by

something you're just going to see all

the ways it hurts you and you're going

to get stuck in it and you're going to

start to fight to be able to hold that

emotion and be stuck to it and attached

to it longer like if something small

makes you upset it's allowed to make you

upset you don't have to like it

triggered me from this from my childhood

it's from this this and this and it's

all these things I already have going on

you understand how you feel you already

know why it's bothering you you

understand why this impacted you even if

it's something small your reaction is

your reaction and the way you feel is

the way you feel stop feeling like you

have to remind yourself and give

yourself like a fact check of like

you're not allowed to feel this way but

I I've felt this this and this and I've

been through this this and this now I

can feel this way just let yourself feel

how you feel and acknowledge it

stop trying to proof for it and just

validate it you're upset by something

you're hurt by something you're mad okay

that's totally fine now what just

letting how you feel be how you feel and

just seeing it for what it is is going

to set you free a lot faster than having

to justify why you're allowed to feel

that way that's not up for discussion no

more how you feels how you feel

now acknowledge it in yourself like you

would someone you love now the last one

on my list

is the one that's helped me the most

when it comes to someone I love I always

reassure them and make sure I say to

them I'm with you and I make sure they

know that I'm there for

them that's something I've had to start

saying a lot to myself and it's been

very emotional to just look at myself in

the mirror or to just say to myself in

my head I'm with you when you stop

abandoning yourself and you reassure

yourself like you would someone you love

I'm with you I've got you I'm here it

changes the entire way you feel about

anything just bringing your attention

and your focus to yourself helps you not

feel abandoned like when you're going in

to do something and you're nervous or

you're scared or you're worried and you

just say to yourself I'm with you your

Consciousness your focus your everything

is centered with you this body and your

mind it's all separate your soul is

separate but it's the same at the same

time but just getting the verbal

reassurance of I'm with you I'm here for

you is going to change your entire

life literally anytime you're

feeling upset or literally any emotion

I'm with you when you're in the good

moments and the happy moments I'm with

you you feel so much more reconnected to

yourself and it becomes a lot harder to

abandon yourself when you start treating

yourself like someone you love and

reassure you you're with you and you've

got you when you start loving yourself

like you love other

people it becomes impossible to question

your value and your worth because you

feel it like you're never going to go

forward after you start implementing how

you love other people toward you when

you lose somebody or you break up with

somebody and you leave them they leave

you whatever it is you're not going to

be able to question yourself because

you're still with yourself you still

have love they didn't take it and they

didn't leave with your ability to

appreciate yourself because you are

still giving yourself to yourself this

is something I cannot emphasize enough

and I just went through a whole big

period of questioning myself and this is

the whole resolution I've come to around

it and feeling solid in it no one can

come in and out of my life anymore and

take my ability to appreciate myself

because I'm not leaving myself I'm not

leaving with them I'm still here with me

like I said on the last point I'm with

you

whether you're happy sad pissed off I'm

here that's all you have to say to

yourself and it's the craziest thing the

shift that will happen but I hope you

found this helpful if you liked it leave

this video a thumbs up and if you're

listening to the audio version on Apple

podcast and Spotify leave this podcast

the five stars rating thank you so much

and also tickets again to my tour will

be linked in the description I'll also

have the links to all of my social media

and everything else you need from me but

everybody be safe go start implenting

this all right take care of

yourself and I'll talk to you guys next

Sunday