Success, failure and the drive to keep creating | Elizabeth Gilbert

Summary

In this inspiring speech, the author of 'Eat, Pray, Love' candidly discusses the challenges of following up a bestseller and the importance of finding one's 'home'—the passion that drives creativity beyond the fear of failure or the allure of success. She emphasizes the need to return to this 'home' to ensure resilience in the face of both personal and professional upheavals, advocating for a relentless dedication to the work itself, regardless of the outcome.

Takeaways

• 🎭 The speaker identifies as the author of 'Eat, Pray, Love', which was a significant turning point in her career.
• 🚫 She faced the challenge of meeting expectations after the success of 'Eat, Pray, Love', fearing both fans and critics would be disappointed with her next work.
• 🏠 The concept of 'home' is central to the speaker's approach to writing, representing a place of comfort and dedication beyond personal ego.
• 📚 The speaker's early career was filled with rejection, but she persisted by returning to her love of writing as her 'home'.
• 🔄 Despite the stark differences in experiences, the speaker found a psychological connection between failure and success, both disorienting and distant from one's self.
• 🌌 Success and failure are both extremes that can distance one from their sense of self, with the subconscious unable to discern the difference between the two.
• 🔑 The remedy for both failure and success is to find one's way back 'home', which is a metaphor for returning to what one loves most.
• 📖 The speaker emphasizes that writing is her 'home', and she returned to it after the overwhelming success of 'Eat, Pray, Love'.
• 💣 The follow-up book to 'Eat, Pray, Love' did not achieve the same success, but the speaker was unfazed because she had rediscovered her passion for writing.
• 🛠️ The speaker encourages finding and returning to one's 'home', a place of dedication and love, regardless of external outcomes.
• 🔗 The speaker promises that by staying true to one's 'home', one can remain safe from the unpredictability of life's outcomes.

Q & A

What significant event in the author's life is mentioned at the beginning of the script?

The author was approached by two women at JFK Airport who recognized her as the person behind 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

How did the success of 'Eat, Pray, Love' impact the author's perspective on writing another book?

The success of 'Eat, Pray, Love' put the author in a difficult position, as she felt that whatever she wrote next would disappoint some readers, either because it wasn't the same as 'Eat, Pray, Love' or because it confirmed her continued existence as an author.

What did the author consider doing instead of writing after the success of 'Eat, Pray, Love'?

The author considered quitting writing and moving to the country to raise corgis due to the pressure of following up on the success of 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

What personal realization helped the author to continue writing despite the fear of failure or disappointment?

The author realized that she needed to find inspiration to write the next book regardless of its outcome, drawing from lessons she learned about creativity surviving failure earlier in her life.

What was the author's initial dream and how did she pursue it?

The author's initial dream was to become a writer, and she pursued it by writing throughout her childhood and adolescence, sending stories to The New Yorker, and continuing to write and try to get published after college while working as a diner waitress.

How did the author cope with the constant rejection she faced for almost six years?

The author coped with rejection by finding resolve in returning to the work of writing, viewing it as her home and loving it more than she hated failing at it.

What unexpected connection did the author discover between failure and success in relation to her subconscious?

The author discovered that her subconscious could not discern the difference between the emotional impact of great failure and great success, only recognizing the distance she had been flung from her normal self.

What is the 'home' the author refers to in the context of finding one's passion or purpose?

The 'home' the author refers to is whatever one loves more than oneself, which could be creativity, family, invention, adventure, faith, service, or any other devotion that makes the results inconsequential.

How did the author manage to publish the follow-up to 'Eat, Pray, Love' despite the fear of failure?

The author managed to publish the follow-up by returning to her 'home' of writing, focusing on the devotion of writing itself rather than the outcome.

What was the reception of the author's book after 'Eat, Pray, Love', and how did she feel about it?

The follow-up book to 'Eat, Pray, Love' bombed, but the author was fine with it, feeling bulletproof because she had returned to writing out of devotion.

What advice does the author give for dealing with great success or failure?

The author advises to identify the thing one loves most, build one's 'home' on top of it, and fight one's way back to that home through diligence, devotion, and performing the tasks that love calls forth, regardless of the outcome.

Outlines

00:00

📚 The Struggle and Success of a Writer

The speaker shares a personal anecdote about being recognized for her book 'Eat, Pray, Love' at JFK Airport, which became a significant turning point in her career. She reflects on the challenges of following up such a successful work, acknowledging the inevitable disappointment from both fans and critics. The author discusses the fear of failure and the pressure of maintaining success, which led her to consider quitting writing altogether. However, she emphasizes the importance of finding inspiration despite the odds and drawing from past experiences of overcoming failure. The speaker's love for writing is portrayed as her 'home,' a place of solace and dedication, which she ultimately returns to in order to continue her craft.

05:01

🏠 Finding One's True Home in Passion

Continuing from her previous narrative, the author delves into the psychological parallels between failure and success, both of which can dislocate one from their sense of self. She likens the experience to being catapulted into unfamiliar territory, whether it be the darkness of disappointment or the blinding light of fame. The key to navigating these extremes, she suggests, is to find one's 'home,' a passion or pursuit that one loves more than oneself. The author shares her journey of returning to writing after the tumultuous experience with 'Eat, Pray, Love,' and how the commercial failure of her subsequent book did not deter her because she had reconnected with her love for the craft itself. She encourages the audience to identify and build their lives around what they love most, advocating for dedication and perseverance in the face of life's unpredictable outcomes.

Keywords

💡Eat, Pray, Love

Eat, Pray, Love is a memoir by the speaker, which became a significant part of her identity as an author. It represents both a breakthrough in her career and a challenge for her future work, as she felt pressure to meet or exceed the success of this book. The phrase is used to illustrate the impact of success on an artist's psyche and the expectations that follow.

💡Inspiration

Inspiration is the driving force that motivates creativity and the act of creating. In the context of the video, the speaker found inspiration in unexpected places, particularly in lessons learned from past failures. It is central to the theme of overcoming the fear of failure and success to continue one's creative pursuits.

💡Failure

Failure is a central theme in the video, depicted as a period of constant rejection and lack of success in the speaker's early writing career. It is contrasted with success, showing how both can lead to a feeling of being lost and the need to find one's way back to a place of comfort and authenticity.

💡Success

Success, particularly the overwhelming kind that followed 'Eat, Pray, Love,' is portrayed as both a blessing and a curse. It can lead to a sense of disconnection from one's roots and a challenge to maintain authenticity in the face of fame and recognition.

💡Corgis

The mention of raising corgis is a humorous aside that illustrates the speaker's contemplation of quitting her writing career in the face of the daunting task of following up 'Eat, Pray, Love.' It serves as a metaphor for the idea of retreating to a simpler, more peaceful life.

💡Vocation

Vocation refers to a person's main occupation or career, often one that they feel a strong sense of purpose or passion towards. The speaker's vocation is writing, and she emphasizes the importance of not giving up on it, even in the face of potential disappointment.

💡Psyche

Psyche in the video refers to the human mind, especially in relation to one's emotional well-being. The speaker discusses how both failure and success can 'fling' a person from their psychological comfort zone, necessitating a return to a metaphorical 'home' for restoration.

💡Devotion

Devotion is the act of committing oneself wholeheartedly to a pursuit or cause. The speaker emphasizes the importance of writing with devotion, regardless of the outcome, as a means to find safety from the unpredictability of success and failure.

💡Outcome

Outcome refers to the result or effect of an action or condition. The speaker discusses the unpredictability of outcomes in creative work, and how focusing on the process and devotion to one's craft can provide a sense of security despite varying outcomes.

💡Home

In the video, 'home' is a metaphor for the place or activity to which one feels the deepest connection and passion. It is the source of comfort and authenticity, and the place to which one must return after being 'flung' by either failure or success.

💡Dedication

Dedication is the commitment of time, effort, and energy to a specific task or purpose. The speaker talks about the need for singular dedication to one's 'home,' or passion, as a means to navigate the challenges of failure and success.

Highlights

Author's identity strongly associated with 'Eat, Pray, Love', leading to pressure for future works.

The challenge of pleasing readers after massive success with 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Consideration of quitting writing due to the fear of disappointing readers.

The importance of finding inspiration despite inevitable negative outcomes.

Learning from past failures to fuel creativity and overcome success.

A lifelong aspiration to be a writer and early struggles with rejection.

The psychological connection between experiencing failure and success.

The subconscious inability to discern the difference between failure and success.

The concept of 'home' as a source of devotion and resilience in the face of outcomes.

The idea that 'home' is what you love more than yourself, providing safety from external judgments.

The author's realization of needing to return to writing after the success of 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

The publication and reception of the follow-up book to 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

The liberating feeling of being bulletproof from the impact of book sales due to dedication.

Continuing to write regardless of success or failure, anchored by the love of writing.

The advice to identify and build one's life around the thing they love most.

The importance of diligently performing tasks that stem from love, regardless of outcomes.

The reassurance that finding and staying true to one's 'home' will lead to overall well-being.

Transcripts

So, a few years ago I was at JFK Airport

about to get on a flight,

when I was approached by two women

who I do not think would be insulted

to hear themselves described

as tiny old tough-talking Italian-American broads.

The taller one, who is like up here,

she comes marching up to me, and she goes,

"Honey, I gotta ask you something.

You got something to do with that whole

'Eat, Pray, Love' thing that's been going on lately?"

And I said, "Yes, I did."

And she smacks her friend and she goes,

"See, I told you, I said, that's that girl.

That's that girl who wrote that book

based on that movie."

(Laughter)

So that's who I am.

And believe me, I'm extremely grateful to be that person,

because that whole "Eat, Pray, Love" thing

was a huge break for me.

But it also left me in a really tricky position

moving forward as an author

trying to figure out how in the world

I was ever going to write a book again

that would ever please anybody,

because I knew well in advance

that all of those people who had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"

were going to be incredibly disappointed

in whatever I wrote next

because it wasn't going to be "Eat, Pray, Love,"

and all of those people who had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"

were going to be incredibly disappointed

in whatever I wrote next

because it would provide evidence that I still lived.

So I knew that I had no way to win,

and knowing that I had no way to win

made me seriously consider for a while

just quitting the game

and moving to the country to raise corgis.

But if I had done that, if I had given up writing,

I would have lost my beloved vocation,

so I knew that the task was that I had to find

some way to gin up the inspiration

to write the next book

regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.

In other words, I had to find a way to make sure

that my creativity survived its own success.

And I did, in the end, find that inspiration,

but I found it in the most unlikely

and unexpected place.

I found it in lessons that I had learned earlier in life

about how creativity can survive its own failure.

So just to back up and explain,

the only thing I have ever wanted to be

for my whole life was a writer.

I wrote all through childhood, all through adolescence,

by the time I was a teenager I was sending

my very bad stories to The New Yorker,

hoping to be discovered.

After college, I got a job as a diner waitress,

kept working, kept writing,

kept trying really hard to get published,

and failing at it.

I failed at getting published

for almost six years.

So for almost six years, every single day,

I had nothing but rejection letters

waiting for me in my mailbox.

And it was devastating every single time,

and every single time, I had to ask myself

if I should just quit while I was behind

and give up and spare myself this pain.

But then I would find my resolve,

and always in the same way,

by saying, "I'm not going to quit,

I'm going home."

And you have to understand that for me,

going home did not mean returning to my family's farm.

For me, going home

meant returning to the work of writing

because writing was my home,

because I loved writing more than I hated failing at writing,

which is to say that I loved writing

more than I loved my own ego,

which is ultimately to say

that I loved writing more than I loved myself.

And that's how I pushed through it.

But the weird thing is that 20 years later,

during the crazy ride of "Eat, Pray, Love,"

I found myself identifying all over again

with that unpublished young diner waitress

who I used to be, thinking about her constantly,

and feeling like I was her again,

which made no rational sense whatsoever

because our lives could not have been more different.

She had failed constantly.

I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectation.

We had nothing in common.

Why did I suddenly feel like I was her all over again?

And it was only when I was trying to unthread that

that I finally began to comprehend

the strange and unlikely psychological connection

in our lives between the way we experience great failure

and the way we experience great success.

So think of it like this:

For most of your life, you live out your existence

here in the middle of the chain of human experience

where everything is normal and reassuring and regular,

but failure catapults you abruptly way out over here

into the blinding darkness of disappointment.

Success catapults you just as abruptly but just as far

way out over here

into the equally blinding glare

of fame and recognition and praise.

And one of these fates

is objectively seen by the world as bad,

and the other one is objectively seen by the world as good,

but your subconscious is completely incapable

of discerning the difference between bad and good.

The only thing that it is capable of feeling

is the absolute value of this emotional equation,

the exact distance that you have been flung

from yourself.

And there's a real equal danger in both cases

of getting lost out there

in the hinterlands of the psyche.

But in both cases, it turns out that there is

also the same remedy for self-restoration,

and that is that you have got to find your way back home again

as swiftly and smoothly as you can,

and if you're wondering what your home is,

here's a hint:

Your home is whatever in this world you love

more than you love yourself.

So that might be creativity, it might be family,

it might be invention, adventure,

faith, service, it might be raising corgis,

I don't know, your home is that thing

to which you can dedicate your energies

with such singular devotion

that the ultimate results become inconsequential.

For me, that home has always been writing.

So after the weird, disorienting success

that I went through with "Eat, Pray, Love,"

I realized that all I had to do was exactly

the same thing that I used to have to do all the time

when I was an equally disoriented failure.

I had to get my ass back to work,

and that's what I did, and that's how, in 2010,

I was able to publish the dreaded follow-up

to "Eat, Pray, Love."

And you know what happened with that book?

It bombed, and I was fine.

Actually, I kind of felt bulletproof,

because I knew that I had broken the spell

and I had found my way back home

to writing for the sheer devotion of it.

And I stayed in my home of writing after that,

and I wrote another book that just came out last year

and that one was really beautifully received,

which is very nice, but not my point.

My point is that I'm writing another one now,

and I'll write another book after that

and another and another and another

and many of them will fail,

and some of them might succeed,

but I will always be safe

from the random hurricanes of outcome

as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.

Look, I don't know where you rightfully live,

but I know that there's something in this world

that you love more than you love yourself.

Something worthy, by the way,

so addiction and infatuation don't count,

because we all know that those are not safe places to live. Right?

The only trick is that you've got to identify

the best, worthiest thing that you love most,

and then build your house right on top of it

and don't budge from it.

And if you should someday, somehow

get vaulted out of your home

by either great failure or great success,

then your job is to fight your way back to that home

the only way that it has ever been done,

by putting your head down and performing

with diligence and devotion

and respect and reverence

whatever the task is that love

is calling forth from you next.

You just do that, and keep doing that

again and again and again,

and I can absolutely promise you, from long personal experience

in every direction, I can assure you

that it's all going to be okay.

Thank you.

(Applause)