Why Women Don’t Mean What They Say (Schopenhauer Explains)

Summary

This script explores the complex dynamics of modern relationships, focusing on the disconnect between what women say they want and what they are biologically drawn to. Drawing from Schopenhauer's philosophy, it argues that women’s desires are shaped by both cultural expectations and primal instincts. The script discusses how men often misinterpret women’s words, overcompensating in efforts to please, only to lose attraction because of an imbalance of strength and emotional dependence. The key message is that true attraction stems from a man’s self-confidence, mystery, and rooted presence, not from overgiving or seeking approval.

Takeaways

• 😀 Women may not always want what they say they want. Their words often conflict with their biological desires.
• 😀 Schopenhauer observed that women are driven by primal instincts rather than social values, leading to a mismatch between what they say and what they respond to.
• 😀 A man’s kindness or emotional availability often does not lead to greater attraction; instead, emotional leadership and strength are more desirable traits.
• 😀 The more a man adapts his behavior to please a woman, the more he risks losing his own identity, which ultimately diminishes attraction.
• 😀 Effort and devotion do not guarantee lasting attraction. What matters most is presence, confidence, and the ability to lead.
• 😀 Women often admire men who can maintain their boundaries and mystery, rather than those who constantly seek validation.
• 😀 True emotional availability means being rooted and strong, capable of leading without being emotionally dependent or over-explaining.
• 😀 The paradox is that the more a man becomes emotionally available and tries to please, the less attractive he becomes due to the loss of his edge.
• 😀 Schopenhauer believed women are instinctively drawn to strength, dominance, and grounded leadership, not kindness or consistency.
• 😀 Attraction is based on energy, not just words or actions. A woman is more likely to be drawn to a man who exudes unshakable presence rather than one who tries too hard to gain her approval.

Q & A

What is the central theme of the script?

The central theme of the script explores the disconnect between what women say they want in a partner and what their primal instincts are actually drawn to. It discusses how men often try to fulfill women's stated desires, only to find that it leads to loss of attraction, as they become too predictable and emotionally dependent.

What does Schopenhauer's philosophy reveal about female attraction?

Schopenhauer's philosophy suggests that women's attraction is driven by biological instincts rather than logic or what they say they want. Women are programmed to be attracted to strength, leadership, and mystery, not kindness or emotional transparency, which often leads to the man being perceived as weak or dependent.

How does a man’s devotion affect his attractiveness according to the script?

A man's devotion, if excessive, can kill the polarity that keeps a woman attracted to him. When a man gives too much, becomes too emotionally available, and loses his edge in the process, he becomes predictable and uninteresting, causing the woman to lose respect and desire.

What are the two types of women described in the script?

The script describes two types of women: the social self and the primal self. The social self is the version that expresses desires like emotional safety, connection, and listening, while the primal self is driven by instincts and is more attracted to strength, dominance, and mystery.

Why does a woman pull away after a man gives too much?

A woman pulls away when a man gives too much because his behavior signals emotional dependence, which her survival instincts perceive as a form of danger. She is not looking for someone to provide constant validation, but someone who can lead, be strong, and remain grounded.

How does a man's behavior change when he becomes too focused on pleasing a woman?

When a man becomes too focused on pleasing a woman, he starts to lose his edge and individuality. He sacrifices his boundaries, stops being the leader, and becomes overly predictable and emotionally dependent. This shift leads to a loss of attraction, as he no longer maintains the mystery and strength that initially drew her to him.

What is the role of a man’s 'edge' in maintaining attraction?

A man's 'edge' refers to his strength, boundaries, and mystery. It is crucial in maintaining attraction because it prevents him from becoming too emotionally available or predictable. His edge keeps him grounded and allows the woman to feel drawn to him, rather than suffocated by his constant availability and effort.

Why does emotional transparency without boundaries lead to a loss of attraction?

Emotional transparency without boundaries leads to a loss of attraction because it signals instability and a lack of control. Instead of being a grounded leader, the man becomes emotionally chaotic, which makes the woman feel unsafe and less attracted to him.

What does the script say about the idea of 'trying too hard' in a relationship?

The script argues that 'trying too hard' in a relationship is detrimental because it signals desperation and neediness, which kills the polarity between the partners. While effort might seem like a way to earn affection, it actually makes a man lose his mystique, and thus, his attractiveness.

How does Schopenhauer's perspective on women and love differ from modern expectations?

Schopenhauer viewed women’s attraction through a biological lens, emphasizing their role in the propagation of the species, rather than through a lens of romantic love. He believed that love and attraction were rooted in instincts rather than logic, which contrasts with modern expectations that focus on communication, emotional availability, and fairness in relationships.