The Best Personal Statements Begin with These 2 Sentences (Oxbridge Examples)

Summary

In this educational video, Shane, a qualified doctor and neuroscience supervisor at Cambridge and Oxford, reveals a simple yet effective strategy for crafting personal statements that have helped students gain admission to top medical schools. He emphasizes the importance of a strong introduction, focusing on motivation and engagement, and provides examples of successful personal statement openings. Shane is developing a personal statement masterclass on Skillshare, offering a free trial and a complimentary personal statement guide. The video aims to guide viewers on setting the scene about the subject and the applicant's personal story, ultimately enhancing their application's impact.

Takeaways

• 👋 Shane introduces himself as a recently qualified doctor and neuroscience supervisor at Cambridge and Oxford.
• 💡 Shane emphasizes the importance of simple yet powerful sentences in personal statements.
• 📘 Shane is developing a personal statement masterclass on Skillshare, which will be available for free using a two-month trial.
• 🎯 The introduction of a personal statement is crucial for grabbing attention and should focus on motivation and engagement.
• 🏆 Motivational sentences should explain why the subject is worth studying and demonstrate passion for it.
• 📝 Engagement sentences should highlight personal experiences and activities related to the subject.
• 🌍 Examples provided show how students successfully used these strategies to get into top-ranking medical schools.
• 📚 Shane breaks down the structure of effective introductions into two steps: setting the scene about the subject and setting the scene about oneself.
• ⚙️ The examples show various ways to demonstrate motivation, such as discussing academic interest and personal opportunities.
• 💼 Engagement examples include volunteering experiences and work placements that inspired the students to pursue medicine.

Q & A

What is the main purpose of the video?

The main purpose of the video is to demonstrate the effectiveness of two simple but powerful sentences in crafting a compelling personal statement for medical school applications.

Who is the speaker in the video?

The speaker is Shane, a recently qualified doctor and neuroscience supervisor at Cambridge and Oxford University.

What is the significance of the introduction in a personal statement?

The introduction is the most important part of a personal statement as it is the front-facing, attention-grabbing segment that sets the tone for the rest of the application.

What are the two main pillars of a strong personal statement introduction according to Shane?

The two main pillars are motivation and engagement, which are used to set the scene about the subject and about the applicant.

What does 'setting the scene about the subject' mean in the context of the introduction?

It means explaining the main reason for wanting to study the subject and defining why it is an important and worthwhile field of study.

Can you provide an example of a sentence that sets the scene about the subject?

An example is: 'In medicine, I see a purposeful and versatile vocation, yet what I love most is its fusion of a scientific call with a philanthropic heart.'

What does 'setting the scene about you' entail in the introduction?

It involves discussing personal experiences or activities that demonstrate engagement with the subject, such as volunteering or work experience.

How does the speaker suggest linking motivation and engagement in the introduction?

The speaker suggests a two-step process where the first step sets the scene about the subject and the second step dives into personal engagement with the field.

What is the role of the 'creation story' in a personal statement introduction?

The 'creation story' is a specific event or experience that inspired the applicant to pursue medicine, adding authenticity and a personal touch to the introduction.

How does the speaker recommend using the word 'love' in the introduction?

The speaker recommends using the word 'love' to express passion for the subject, as seen in the example sentence provided.

What is the importance of showing projection in the introduction?

Showing projection indicates that the applicant has deeply considered whether medicine is the right path for them, demonstrating a thoughtful and resolute decision.

How can the introduction be structured to flow well into the main body of the personal statement?

The introduction should clearly outline motivation and engagement, setting up a coherent narrative that naturally leads into the work experience section or other relevant parts of the personal statement.

What is the significance of using passionate words throughout the introduction?

Using passionate words helps to convey the applicant's enthusiasm and commitment to the subject, making the introduction more compelling and memorable.

What additional resources does the speaker offer to help with personal statement writing?

The speaker offers a free personal statement guide and mentions a personal statement masterclass on Skillshare, available for free with a two-month trial.

Outlines

00:00

🎓 Mastering the Art of Personal Statement Introductions

The paragraph introduces the video's focus on crafting compelling personal statement introductions for medical school applications. The speaker, Shane, a qualified doctor and neuroscience supervisor, emphasizes the importance of the introduction as the first impression of the applicant's passion and commitment. He reveals a two-sentence strategy that has proven successful for students admitted to top medical schools. Shane also mentions a personal statement masterclass he's developing on Skillshare, which will be available for free with a two-month trial. The key to a strong introduction is to establish motivation and engagement, setting the scene about the subject and the applicant's personal connection to it. Examples from successful applicants are provided to illustrate how they articulated their reasons for pursuing medicine and demonstrated their active involvement in the field.

05:01

📝 Crafting a Personal Statement with a Creation Story

This paragraph delves into the specifics of writing a personal statement introduction, highlighting the use of a 'creation story' to convey a genuine and specific inspiration for studying medicine. The speaker critiques common clichés and advises against vague storytelling, instead advocating for authentic and detailed examples that showcase both the applicant's motivation and engagement with the field. The paragraph provides examples of introductions that effectively combine the subject's significance, the applicant's academic interest, and personal qualities that make them suitable for a medical career. It also discusses the flexibility in structuring the introduction, allowing for variations that best convey the applicant's unique story and experiences.

Keywords

💡Personal Statement

A personal statement is a written document often required as part of a university application, where the applicant expresses their motivation, skills, and experiences relevant to the course they are applying for. In the video, the personal statement is the central theme, with the speaker discussing strategies for writing an effective introduction to one, particularly for medical school applications.

💡Oxbridge

Oxbridge refers to the universities of Oxford and Cambridge in the UK, which are renowned for their academic excellence and competitive admissions. The script mentions Oxbridge as examples of top-ranking medical schools where the discussed personal statement strategies have been successfully applied.

💡Motivation

Motivation in this context refers to the reasons and driving forces behind an individual's desire to pursue a particular subject or career. The video emphasizes the importance of expressing motivation in the personal statement's introduction, as it sets the stage for why the applicant is passionate about medicine.

💡Engagement

Engagement denotes the level of involvement and participation in activities related to the field of interest. The script illustrates the significance of demonstrating engagement with medicine through experiences like volunteering, which shows commitment beyond academic interest.

💡Introduction

In the context of a personal statement, the introduction is the opening section that captures the reader's attention and provides an overview of the applicant's intent and qualifications. The video discusses the two-step process of writing an introduction, focusing on setting the scene about the subject and the applicant.

💡Medical School

Medical school refers to an institution that provides education and training for individuals pursuing a career in medicine. The script is aimed at students applying to medical schools, particularly those with high standards like Oxbridge, and offers advice on crafting a compelling personal statement.

💡Skillshare

Skillshare is an online learning community with various courses taught by industry professionals. The speaker mentions developing a personal statement masterclass on Skillshare, indicating a resource where viewers can learn more about writing effective personal statements.

💡Volunteering

Volunteering is the act of offering one's time and effort for free to help others or contribute to a cause. In the script, volunteering experiences are given as examples of engagement with the medical field, showcasing the applicant's proactive approach to medicine.

💡Work Experience

Work experience refers to the practical knowledge and skills acquired through employment or internships. The video uses work experience as an example of how applicants can demonstrate their hands-on engagement with medicine and their understanding of the medical profession.

💡Creation Story

A creation story in the context of a personal statement is a narrative that describes the pivotal moment or experience that sparked the applicant's interest in their field of study. The script highlights the use of a creation story to add authenticity and personal touch to the introduction, making it more compelling.

💡Academic Interest

Academic interest refers to the intellectual curiosity and passion for learning within a specific subject area. The video emphasizes the importance of conveying academic interest in medicine as part of the applicant's motivation for pursuing medical studies.

Highlights

Introduction is the most important part of a personal statement, serving as the attention-grabbing segment.

Best introductions have two main pillars: motivation and engagement.

Introduction should set the scene about the subject and the individual.

Step one is setting the scene about the subject, defining its importance and the main reason for studying it.

Example sentence: 'In medicine I see a purposeful and versatile vocation, yet what I love most is its fusion of a scientific call with a philanthropic heart.'

Step two is setting the scene about the individual, showcasing personal engagement with the subject.

Example of engagement: Volunteering on the Lifeline Express hospital train in Marina, India.

Engagement examples should link to personal motivation and inspiration to study medicine.

Introduction should outline both academic interest and personal opportunity gained from studying the subject.

Use of passionate words throughout the introduction can effectively convey motivation.

Work experience can increase appreciation of the demanding and fulfilling nature of a career.

Introduction should flow well into the main body, allowing for a coherent personal statement.

Creation story can be a powerful strategy in the introduction if done authentically and specifically.

Introduction can also focus on key qualities that make the individual suitable for the subject of study.

Different styles of structuring the introduction can be effective, depending on personal storytelling.

The choice of how to structure and word the introduction is up to the individual.

Full examples of past personal statements can provide further guidance on crafting an effective introduction.

Transcripts

yep you read that correctly just two

simple but powerful sentences

and none of them involved saying ever

since i was a child seriously

don't be that guy hey guys welcome back

to the channel my name's shane i'm a

recently qualified doctor neuroscience

supervisor at cambridge and oxford

university

and you probably don't believe me two

simple but powerful sentences

just screams fake news right well let me

show you these examples from students

who've gotten into oxbridge and other

top ranking medical schools

using this exact strategy the video

you're about to watch is a clip from a

personal statement masterclass

i'm developing over at skillshare and

i'm working super hard to bring it to

you as soon as possible it'll be

available for free using a two month

free trial the link for which you can

find in the description box below and

once you're at it you can also grab the

free personal statement guide that i've

released as well now the introduction

is arguably the most important part of

your personal statement

it's the front-facing attention-grabbing

segment so it makes perfect sense to put

the best efforts into this

after analyzing numerous personal

statements i worked out that the best

introductions

have two main pillars within them the

first is motivation

and the second is engagement and these

pillars should be used to do two

important things within the introduction

it almost creates a two-step process for

writing your introduction

step one involves setting the scene

about the subject and step two involves

setting the scene about you

so let's begin with this step one and

unpack it

so what we mean when we say setting the

scene about the subject

is essentially talking about the main

reason you want to do this subject and

essentially defining why it's

such an important subject that's worth

your time and worth studying here's an

example sentence pulled from an

introduction that does this perfectly

in medicine i see a purposeful and

versatile vocation

yet what i love most is its fusion of a

scientific call

with a philanthropic heart now this is a

beautifully written sentence

that clearly explains to the reader why

medicine is such a great subject

and it utilizes several pillars from our

framework including passion with the use

of words like love as well as

demonstrating some consideration into

what aspects of medicine is so great

so as we can see here the introduction

and often the first sentence

dives straight into the main reason why

someone wants to study it and that

serves to set the scene about the

subject

and defines its importance now let's

move on to step two and see what we

actually mean when we say

setting the scene about you essentially

this is talking about the pillar of

engagement the second part of your

introduction

should dive straight into something that

you've done to engage with medicine

here's an example of that

volunteering on the lifeline express a

hospital train in marina india

first inspired me to study medicine now

this is a great sentence because it

shows their engagement with medicine

straight away because it talks about

their volunteering and

also alludes to their motivation and

their inspiration to study medicine

here's another example of this

last year my work experience at dao

university hospital in karachi was one

of the most interesting yet exhausting

experiences of my life

and although it was both emotionally and

physically demanding it instilled in me

a resolute desire to study and practice

medicine now this is a fantastic

sentence that shows engagement with

medicine at its core

because it's talking about the

volunteering they've done but it also

links it to some degree of projection

where they've considered deeply whether

medicine is right for them

okay so this was raham's introduction a

distressing fact of life is that most

people remain somewhat unaware of their

body

until it malfunctions taking its

intricate complexity for granted

beat managing heart failure or a

neurodegenerative condition

a doctor's vocation is unique and

constantly changing due to medical

advances

work experience has increased my

appreciation of this demanding and

fulfilling career and my desire to both

be part of and hopefully further the

advancement of such a dynamic profession

and to have a beneficial impact on the

community this introduction perfectly

follows the structure we've met in

previous lessons in that it sets the

scene about the subject

and talks about why it's such a great

subject to study then it goes on to talk

about engagement and the work experience

is undertaken it clearly outlines both

aspects of motivation

talking about the academic interest as

well as the personal opportunity he gets

from studying it

so this perfectly executes the

motivation pillar this is a great

example of an introduction

and notice how he's used passionate

words throughout

so here's the introduction working with

people from different disciplines in

various health and social care settings

has developed my interest

in both the clinical and academic

aspects of medicine

being a keen scientist with an

interesting people i look forward to the

professional and personal satisfaction

that a career in medicine can offer

these sentences nicely follow the

motivation engagement structure we've

been suggesting for the introduction

suzanne mentions clearly that he hopes

to gain satisfaction

from medicine which serves as his

motivation and he also speaks about the

academic interest in medicine

which is another important part of the

motivation pillar suzanne also

introduces his work experience therefore

talking about engagement

and this sets him up quite nicely for

the next part which is the work

experience section of the main body

this helps him flow very well from one

section to the next

and allows him to tell a nice story and

allows his personal statement to be very

coherent

so here's the introduction volunteering

on the lifeline express

a hospital train in marina india first

inspired me to study medicine the team

on the train

worked voluntarily in unfamiliar

conditions the smile on the man's face

when his perforated eardrum was repaired

spoke a thousand words medicine will

allow me to study the intricacies of the

human body with the opportunity for

problem solving in a caring

compassionate environment the decision

was reinforced through experiences

gained in hospital placements and my

voluntary work now this is a great

demonstration of the introduction

structure we've come across before that

is to set the scene about the subject

and talk about your motivations

including your academic interest

and the personal opportunity you hope to

gain from studying medicine and he also

talks about the engagement

talking about things like work

experience however a new thing that

actually is used

is something called the creation story

that's essentially to talk about

something that inspired you to actually

pursue medicine often this is done very

vaguely in an almost cliche manner and

as a result

people often advise to stay away from

creation stories but what akshay has

done is perfect

he's taken a very specific example and

explained why that made him so inspired

to study medicine and at the same time

this creation story allows him to talk

about his volunteering

and his engagement with medicine so not

only is actually his creation story

authentic

and genuine but it also allows him to

talk about his engagement with medicine

and how he's gone out of his way to

learn more about it

this therefore is a brilliantly executed

example of an introduction

that utilizes several of the

conventional things we've come across

before but also uses a very powerful

strategy of the creation story

so here's the introduction an appetite

for scientific knowledge hard work and

altruistic outlook are essential

characteristics of doctors and aspects

of my character that have drawn me to

study medicine i'm thrilled by the

prospect of exploring the causes and

treatment for diseases that affect

individuals and the opportunities to

contribute whenever possible to

improving their quality of life now this

introduction quite nicely talks about

the motivations behind studying medicine

discussing both the academic interests

and the personal opportunity now if ori

was sticking to the structure that we've

met in previous lessons he should have

gone on to talk about some work

experience

or some volunteering to show his

engagement with medicine but instead ori

has chosen to talk about his suitability

and introduce some of his key qualities

so actually this is a great example of a

different style of structuring your

introduction where you essentially set

the scene about the subject and your

motivations

and then you go on to talk about the key

qualities that you have that makes you

ideal and suitable for medicine like

we've said before

ultimately the choice of how to

structure things and how to word things

is yours so feel free to change things

around to whatever order that allows you

to tell the

best story so to summarize your

introduction should heavily borrow from

motivation and engagement

the first part should set the scene

about the subject and define why you

want to study it

and what's so great about it and the

second section need to dive straight

into engagement and talk about the steps

that you've done

to get involved with medicine now if

you'd like full examples of past

personal statements from students who've

gone into oxford and other top ranking

universities

then definitely check out these videos

thanks for watching that's it from me

for today and i'll see you guys next

time

[Music]