Janine (1990) Short Film by Cheryl Dunye

Summary

The transcript recounts a personal journey of self-discovery and friendship. The speaker reflects on their complex relationship with their high school friend Janine, who came from a wealthy background while the speaker was from a working-class, Black family in Philadelphia. Despite struggling with feelings of inadequacy and differences in their lives, the friendship evolved, revealing underlying tensions related to class, race, and the speaker's sexuality. The speaker came out as a lesbian in high school, which led to a painful rejection from Janine and her family. Years later, a conversation with Janine reveals unresolved feelings, culminating in a disconnection that underscores the speaker's growth and personal understanding.

Takeaways

• 😀 The narrator's best friend in high school was Janine, who came into her life in ninth grade after the narrator had been at Mary Mercy Academy for several years.
• 😀 The narrator felt an imbalance in their friendship with Janine, constantly trying to fit into her world and be more like her, especially due to their differing backgrounds.
• 😀 Janine was from a wealthy family, living on the affluent side of City Line Avenue, while the narrator was a Black girl from a working-class family in Philadelphia.
• 😀 The narrator struggled with feelings of inadequacy, desiring to be more like Janine, who epitomized whiteness, which left the narrator feeling less than and imperfect.
• 😀 A memorable moment in their friendship was when Janine criticized the narrator’s way of applying shampoo to her hair, which made the narrator feel even more out of place.
• 😀 The narrator had a secret, internalized longing for Janine, realizing during the 10th grade that she was gay and had romantic feelings for her, but this was never openly acknowledged.
• 😀 In the 12th grade, the narrator came into her sexuality and started exploring her identity, maintaining a split between her school life and her weekend, secret life as a lesbian.
• 😀 During Senior Week, instead of partying, the narrator spent time at Janine’s house, reflecting on her sexuality while listening to Joni Mitchell tapes and distancing herself from mainstream experiences.
• 😀 After coming out as a lesbian to Janine, the narrator was met with surprise and a reaction from Janine’s mother, who suggested sending the narrator to a doctor to talk about her 'problems.'
• 😀 The relationship with Janine felt unresolved for the narrator, and after reconnecting years later, Janine focused on nostalgic memories from high school, while the narrator had moved past those moments.
• 😀 The narrator became disillusioned by Janine’s conservative views, especially when Janine made a judgmental comment about women having children out of wedlock, which further strained their connection.

Q & A

How did the narrator's friendship with Janine develop over time?

The narrator's friendship with Janine began in ninth grade when they played basketball together. Although it started as an attempt to be friends, it was a constant struggle due to their different social backgrounds. Over time, they became closer, but the relationship was complicated by the narrator's feelings of inadequacy and desire to be more like Janine.

What was the narrator's perception of Janine's background?

The narrator viewed Janine as someone from a wealthy background, describing her as being from the Main Line, having a BMW, and being part of a privileged social circle. Janine's family seemed to have a higher status, which made the narrator feel inferior, especially since they were from a working-class black family living in Philadelphia.

How did the narrator feel about their own identity in comparison to Janine?

The narrator struggled with their identity, feeling less significant and wishing to be more like Janine, even to the point of wanting to be more white. This feeling was exacerbated by moments like Janine's comment about how the narrator washed their hair, which made them feel wrong for their cultural practices.

What incident with Janine led to the narrator feeling self-conscious about their hair care routine?

Once, when the narrator was washing their hair at Janine's house, Janine commented on how the narrator squirted shampoo directly onto their head instead of into their hand, calling it wrong. This made the narrator feel self-conscious and, for months afterward, they altered their hair-washing routine to avoid the perceived mistake.

How did the narrator's sexuality play a role in their relationship with Janine?

The narrator realized they were a lesbian during their 10th grade and had feelings for Janine, though they never openly expressed these feelings. The tension around the narrator's sexuality continued to affect their interactions with Janine, especially when the narrator later came out to her.

What was Janine's reaction when the narrator came out to her in the 12th grade?

Janine initially responded nonchalantly to the narrator's declaration of being a lesbian, but later revealed that she had cried and discussed it with her mother. Her mother then offered to pay for therapy for the narrator, which the narrator felt was an attempt to fix them.

How did the narrator feel after Janine's mother offered to pay for therapy?

The narrator felt disturbed and uncomfortable after Janine's mother offered to pay for therapy, as it felt like an attempt to 'fix' the narrator's sexuality. This offer further distanced the narrator from Janine and left the relationship unresolved.

What was the narrator's reaction to speaking with Janine years after high school?

When the narrator spoke to Janine years later during Thanksgiving, they found that Janine was nostalgic about their high school days, but the narrator did not share the same fondness. The conversation revealed unresolved tensions, especially when Janine made a comment about unmarried women having babies, which the narrator found judgmental.

How did Janine's views on unmarried women with children affect the narrator?

Janine's judgmental comment about unmarried women having children as a sin made the narrator feel uncomfortable and distanced from her. The narrator realized that Janine's worldview had not evolved in a way that was compatible with their own beliefs, especially given their different experiences and identities.

What was the narrator's final stance on their relationship with Janine?

After the conversation during Thanksgiving, the narrator realized that they were over their feelings for Janine and the unresolved tension from their past. They decided to move on, as the relationship felt emotionally disconnected, and they no longer shared common ground on key issues.