AP Seminar: Incorporating Evidence
Summary
TLDRIn this lesson, AP Seminar and Research teacher Allison Malloy guides students through the process of incorporating evidence into their arguments. She emphasizes the importance of using relevant, credible, and sufficient evidence to support claims and reasoning. Malloy explains how to evaluate the quality of evidence and the role of commentary in connecting evidence to arguments. She also discusses the significance of the reference page in assessing the range and quality of evidence, and provides tips on integrating evidence smoothly into an argument, using the metaphor of a smooth elevator ride to illustrate the concept. The lesson aims to help students develop clear, convincing arguments backed by strong evidence.
Takeaways
- 📚 The lesson focuses on incorporating evidence into an argument, emphasizing the use of qualitative and quantitative data from various sources.
- 🔍 Evidence should be used to support, extend, or complicate claims within an argument, and it must be relevant, credible, and sufficient.
- 💡 The importance of having an outline or draft before discussing evidence is stressed, as it helps in planning how to use evidence effectively.
- 📝 The rubric for evaluating evidence is explained, with a high score requiring relevant, credible, and sufficient evidence that supports an argument.
- 🔑 Credibility is determined by accuracy, trustworthiness, and consistency across sources, with questions to consider about the author's reputation and expertise.
- 🔗 Relevance means the evidence has a definitive relationship to the claim and can be defended in a logical argument.
- 📉 Sufficiency refers to the adequate amount of evidence needed to convince the reader of the validity of the claim.
- 📑 The reference page is crucial as it provides the first impression of the quality and range of evidence used in an argument.
- ✍️ Commentary is essential as it acts as a bridge between evidence and claims, explaining the relevance and credibility, and should be clear and explicit.
- 🔄 The integration of evidence should be smooth, without making the reader feel the 'stops' between different pieces of evidence, like a smooth elevator ride.
- 📈 The final advice includes using less evidence but making it essential, focusing on commentary over evidence, and using resources like Purdue OWL for grammar and formatting help.
Q & A
What is the name of the teacher presenting the lesson?
-The teacher's name is Allison Malloy.
What subjects does Allison Malloy teach?
-Allison Malloy teaches AP Seminar and AP Research.
At which school does Allison Malloy teach?
-Allison Malloy teaches at Carmel High School in Carmel, Indiana.
What is the main focus of the lesson eight in the transcript?
-The main focus of lesson eight is incorporating evidence to support an argument in academic writing.
What are the three key aspects of evidence discussed in the lesson?
-The three key aspects of evidence discussed are sufficiency, relevance, and credibility.
What does the term 'credible' refer to in the context of academic evidence?
-In the context of academic evidence, 'credible' refers to sources that are accurate, trustworthy, consistent across sources, and have a reputation for reliability.
How does the lesson define 'relevant' evidence?
-'Relevant' evidence is defined as having a definitive relationship to the claim and being defensible, especially to an educated audience.
What does 'sufficient' evidence mean in the context of the lesson?
-'Sufficient' evidence means providing enough facts or examples to convince someone of the validity of a claim, without being excessive.
Why is the reference page important according to the lesson?
-The reference page is important because it gives the first impression of the quality and range of evidence included in the paper, and it helps determine the credibility of the sources used.
What role does commentary play in the integration of evidence and argument?
-Commentary acts as a bridge that unites evidence with the purpose of the argument, explaining the relevance, credibility, and how the evidence supports, extends, or complicates the claims.
How should evidence be used to develop an argument according to the lesson?
-Evidence should be used to support, extend, or complicate the claims within the argument, and it should be integrated smoothly without dominating or dictating the argument's direction.
What advice is given for improving the integration of evidence in writing?
-The advice given includes using less evidence and only essential information, using commentary effectively, and ensuring that the evidence supports rather than dictates the argument's direction for a smooth and convincing integration.
What is the importance of starting with a claim rather than evidence in an argument paragraph?
-Starting with a claim rather than evidence ensures that the argument is clear and focused, preventing the evidence from overshadowing or confusing the main point of the argument.
How does the lesson differentiate between the emphasis on evidence in an IRR versus the emphasis on argument in an IWA?
-In an IRR, the emphasis is on the evidence itself and how different pieces of evidence connect. In contrast, an IWA emphasizes the student's argument, using evidence to support, extend, or complicate the student's claims.
What is the final advice given for evaluating and improving the use of evidence in academic writing?
-The final advice includes evaluating the evidence through highlighting and checking the ratio of evidence to commentary, composing a rough draft with a bibliography, ensuring alignment between the research question and argument, and seeking help from resources like Purdue OWL for formatting and grammar questions.
Outlines
📚 Introduction to Evidence in Argumentative Writing
Allison Malloy, an AP Seminar and Research teacher at Carmel High School, introduces the focus of the video: incorporating evidence into an argument. She emphasizes the importance of understanding how to use qualitative and quantitative data from various sources to support an argument. Students are reminded to have an outline for their argument before proceeding. The teacher also reviews the rubric for scoring, highlighting the need for relevant, credible, and sufficient evidence to achieve a high score.
🔍 Criteria for Selecting Credible, Relevant, and Sufficient Evidence
The video discusses the criteria for selecting evidence, defining 'credible' as accurate, trustworthy, and consistent across sources. Factors such as the reputation of the author, the currency of the information, and potential biases are considered when evaluating credibility. 'Relevant' evidence is defined as having a definitive relationship to the claim, and 'sufficient' evidence means providing enough information to convince the reader. The teacher uses examples to illustrate these concepts and advises students to think critically about the evidence they choose to include in their arguments.
📈 The Role of Reference Pages in Assessing Evidence Quality
The instructor explains the significance of reference pages in the evaluation process, as they provide an initial impression of the evidence's quality and range. The teacher provides examples of reference pages that demonstrate a commitment to finding academic, peer-reviewed sources versus those that rely heavily on journalistic sources. The importance of including a variety of academic sources and citing stimulus material is highlighted to ensure a high score in evidence.
🔗 The Function of Evidence in Supporting, Extending, and Complicating Claims
Evidence should serve to support, extend, or complicate the claims made in an argument. The teacher clarifies that evidence is not just about proving a point but also about addressing counterclaims and objections. The importance of being explicit about how evidence functions within the argument is emphasized, and students are encouraged to ensure that their argument drives the use of evidence, rather than the evidence dictating the argument's direction.
🗣️ The Importance of Commentary in Linking Evidence to Claims
Commentary is described as a bridge that unites evidence with the argument's purpose. The teacher stresses the need for clear and explicit connections between evidence and claims, advising students to avoid merely summarizing evidence and instead explain its relevance and credibility. High-scoring examples from the Chief Reed report are provided to illustrate the effective use of commentary in creating a convincing argument.
🎯 Distinguishing Between Evidence Emphasis and Argument Emphasis in Writing
The video contrasts the emphasis on evidence versus the emphasis on argument in writing, using examples from an Informational Synthesis Essay (IRR) and an Individual Written Assignment (IWA). The teacher points out that in the IRR, the focus is on summarizing and connecting evidence, while in the IWA, the argument should be clear and drive the use of evidence. Students are advised to start with a claim or counterclaim and use evidence to support their argument, ensuring that the student voice is prominent throughout.
📝 Improving Integration of Evidence in Argumentative Writing
The instructor provides guidance on integrating evidence effectively, using color-coding as a metaphor to illustrate the balance between claims (student argument) and evidence. The teacher demonstrates how to rewrite a paragraph to improve the integration of evidence, ensuring that the argument is clear and evidence supports, extends, or complicates the claims without overwhelming the reader. The importance of a smooth 'elevator ride' of ideas is emphasized, where evidence feels like a natural part of the argument.
📘 Final Advice on Using Evidence and Writing the Argument
The video concludes with final advice on using evidence, emphasizing the importance of using key words and excerpts rather than full quotes, and the value of commentary over evidence description. The teacher suggests using color coding to evaluate the balance between evidence and commentary and advises students to ensure alignment between their research question and their argument. The Purdue Online Writing Lab (Purdue OWL) is recommended for students seeking help with formatting and grammar. The instructor outlines the next steps for students, which include evaluating their evidence, composing a rough draft, and ensuring the alignment of their research question with their argument.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Incorporating Evidence
💡Relevant Evidence
💡Credible Evidence
💡Sufficient Evidence
💡Commentary
💡Argument Development
💡Persuasion
💡Synthesizing Data
💡Academic Journals
💡News Media
Highlights
Introduction to the lesson on incorporating evidence in an argumentative paper by Allison Malloy, an AP Seminar and AP Research teacher.
Objectives include understanding how to incorporate evidence to support claims and reasoning, and recognizing what makes evidence sufficient, relevant, and credible.
Emphasis on the importance of having an outline or draft before discussing evidence to ensure a clear plan for its use.
Explanation of the rubric for evaluating evidence, focusing on the necessity of evidence being relevant, credible, and sufficient to support an argument.
Discussion on the credibility of sources, including accuracy, trustworthiness, and consistency across sources.
Questions to consider for evaluating the credibility of a source, such as the reputation of the author and the publication.
Differentiation between the terms 'relevant' and 'sufficient' in the context of evidence, and how they relate to an argument's claims.
Importance of the reference page in giving the first impression of the quality and range of evidence included in a paper.
Contrasting examples of high-quality and low-quality reference pages and their impact on the evaluation of evidence.
The function of evidence in supporting, extending, or complicating claims within an argument.
Advice on being explicit with how evidence functions to support the argument and not letting the evidence dictate the argument's direction.
The role of commentary in connecting evidence with the argument, serving as a bridge between the two.
Highlighting the difference between the IRR and IWA in terms of the emphasis on evidence versus the argument, with examples.
Integration of evidence and argument through effective writing, avoiding the overwhelming presence of evidence over the argument.
Metaphor of a smooth elevator ride to illustrate the concept of well-integrated evidence within an argument.
Final advice on using evidence, emphasizing the importance of commentary over large chunks of evidence.
Recommendation to use Purdue OWL for guidance on formatting and grammar to ensure clarity in writing.
Instructions for next steps, including evaluating the use and quality of evidence, composing a rough draft, and ensuring alignment between research question and argument.
Transcripts
welcome back all you ap7 are students
and teachers I am so glad that you are
here to join me again just a reminder my
name is Allison Malloy and I am an AP
seminar and AP research teacher at
Carmel High School in Carmel Indiana so
we have progressed right through the
individual written argument or the IWA
we are now on less than eight which is
going to focus on incorporating evidence
so let's get right into it so our
objectives today are pretty
straightforward we are going to talk
about evidence so interpreting using and
synthesizing qualitative and
quantitative data from various
perspectives and sources to develop and
support an argument specifically and a
little bit more clear terms this means
that we're going to understand how to
incorporate evidence to support claims
and reasoning as it pertains to an
argument we're going to understand what
makes evidence sufficient relevant and
credible and we're going to understand
how to use commentary to Cola to connect
the chosen claims that we have have
picked so before we get any further I
want to remind you about your outline
it's really hard to talk about evidence
and to talk about our evaluation of
evidence if you haven't actually started
to think about how you plan to use
evidence so please stop this video and
come back once you've outlined your
argument and/or written a draft but
minimally if you have an outline you've
at least thought about how you plan to
use evidence and that's enough for you
to then be able to progress through this
video so we're going to start as we
always do just looking back at the
rubric rows and making sure it is very
clear what we are talking about so in
lesson 7 mr. Gonzales covered row 3 with
you in a lot more depth and then in
lesson 6
I covered row 4 but just a reminder Row
3 is about perspectives we're making
sure that we have a variety of arguments
represented but a variety of voices as
well and that we're considering
objections implications and limitations
to really get to that high score for row
4 we're looking at making sure we're
making a clear and convincing argument
and that our argument is logically
organized
and well-reasoned and that we've
connected our claims and evidence which
is going to carry over to row five which
is going to be our focus today so if we
look at the high score for row five this
response includes relevant credible and
sufficient evidence to support its
argument now that's really important
there to support its argument so not
only is the evidence relevant credible
and sufficient and we'll get more into
the definitions of those terms on the
next couple slides but it's being used
to support an argument so if you are not
actually writing an argument you cannot
score high even if you have wonderfully
well vetted sources okay we go to a
medium if you have mostly relevant and
credible sources so thinking about what
this means this means that I might have
a couple academic sources but I'm mostly
relying on news or journalism as my
primary focus for sources and then for
the low any evidence presented in the
response is irrelevant and or lacks
credibility and so in this case I'm not
finding good credible sources or I'm
really finding things that don't really
serve the purpose or attach to what
we're doing so let's get into those
definitions so we can better understand
this rubric grill so credible and I
realize that hopefully these terms have
been defined for you but like I said in
six we were talking about building an
argument is we want to make sure we
define key terms so we're all on the
same page so there's no concerns as
we're moving forward and if we have that
consistent definition and basis then
it's easy for us to actually start to
implement those into our paper so for
credible what we're looking at is
accurate trustworthy and and then the
other thing I like to consider for
credible is that it's consistent across
sources if you read a source and you
think oh my gosh this is too good to be
true right I haven't seen this anywhere
else this is exactly what I want
everything else does something different
then that should at least you know cause
some alarm for you in your head thinking
well if this one says one thing but all
of these other sources who have cited
things and done their research say
something else then that really starts
this conversation about which one is
actually accurate and usually there's a
consistency
maybe there
off by a little bit but by and large if
one is saying something completely
obscure in comparison to everybody else
then most likely that is not the
credible source okay some questions to
consider as you're thinking about the
credibility of the source and what
they're saying is what's the reputation
of the author organization source
publication and have they lied in the
past or what about their past actions do
we know is there any reason to believe
they may not be reliable or credible
when we think about the publication as
well are they in a position of authority
would they have access to this
information and would they actually be
considered an expert on this information
are they up to date obviously technology
sources from the 80s are going to be
completely outdated but even if you
think about early 2000s is that really
as up-to-date as we get probably not and
that's going to depend on up to date in
the topic or category that you're
actually focused on is the author in a
position that allows for reliable
evidence did they actually observe the
event that they're writing about do they
have some kind of expertise are they
neutral or bias and then what does the
author the organization or the source
have to gain from providing this
information right look those are all
things that we have to think about when
we think about credibility and here's
why news media or journalism becomes
that middle row on the rubric versus the
high is that if we think about a lot of
these questions they actually observe
the event most of the time the answer is
no they're using eyewitnesses or other
people's testimony to help them um write
about right and so they aren't in a
position of expertise and we also have
to think about the fact that even though
news is doing an amazing job and they're
reporting a lot of things they're
usually not the primary source and they
also are writing for a specific audience
so knowing that they do have something
to gain right there trying to sell
newspapers or so print or however we
want to phrase it the idea is there is
something to gain so even if they're
presenting credible information the way
that they're writing it may be different
based on their target audience right so
that's why we really want to go to those
primary
and expert sources so then when we think
about the term relevant relevant has a
definitive relationship to the claim so
you can have credible evidence it can be
100% accurate but it's worthless and it
doesn't relate in any way and if it's
irrelevant then it shouldn't be what
we're actually using now if you're
thinking in your head well how do i
define relevant what does that actually
look like if you can explain how it
relates and if you can defend it and not
just defend it to anybody but think
there's an educated person on the other
side can I give this defense to them and
would they follow then you know it's
actually relevant if they wouldn't
follow it's not so just to pick up off
an example I used previously because I
knew a lot of the internet and a lot of
you are excited about Tiger King right
this idea of Joe exotic who has no prior
relationship with Carroll Baskins
husband but yet he claims that he knows
that she killed her second husband right
he's not relevant nobody cares what he
thinks he would not hold up in a court
of law because he has no prior
relationship he wasn't there he just
doesn't like her right so that makes him
irrelevant now could you say well
hypothetically I wonder if he actually
knew something and he has all this
information well maybe but if he has no
relevancy then we don't want to consider
his perspective it really doesn't matter
okay on the other end of things
there's
this hope trump to pardon joe exotic
from prison and so all of these people
that have done this you know if we think
about the other end of it his niece is
coming out who is relevant because she
is related she works for him right she
has specific information about how he's
not a great person that is going to be
relevant because she actually has that
pre-existing relationship she is an
expert because she worked for him she
was around him she's related to him she
has first-hand experience so relevancy
yes you can be accurate but again what's
the definitive relationship and can you
defend it okay so then we think about
sufficient sufficient just means enough
and that's another one where it's like
well what's the right answer
unfortunately there is no right answer
you have to think about how many
separate facts or examples that you've
given and then how many needs to be
given so in order to do that you have to
think about how much do I have to tell
someone to convince them that this makes
sense or that my claim is valid so
minimally just in a minimum level make
sure you're getting at least two pieces
of information and that's minimally but
the more you can give without being
excessive there is that sweet spot
unfortunately it varies between
different arguments so you really just
want to focus on the idea of how much
did I give what's the composition of the
evidence I gave and then how is it
working to achieve my purpose am i
convincing was it enough okay again
think about that educated person on the
other side and then how we could put
that all together okay so when we go
back to the rubric grow now we think
about the response includes relevant
credible and sufficient evidence right
now we feel good about those terms it's
accurate it has a definitive
relationship and it's enough and that's
how I score high now one of the things
you may be surprised about is that when
graders look at your paper and this is
true for the IRR and the IWA the first
thing that we are asked to look at is
your reference page bibliography you
were excited whatever that page is for
you and your in your citation stuff now
for a lot of you the reference page is
the thing you think about last you rush
at the last
and you don't give a lot of time to now
if you're not one of those people and
you do it in advance and you have it
going all along congrats to you you are
doing amazing things but for the rest of
you this shouldn't be an afterthought
because this is actually where we're
going to get our first impression of the
quality and range of evidence that you
are including so as I'm going through as
a grader and I mark some things on here
so you could see when I get down here to
this source here right what I'm noticing
is the Journal of virtual reality so
there's an academic journal that the
student has already used so I'm on the
fourth source and I'm already seeing a
really great source then I go down and I
see the fifth source the American
Journal of play now I have two academic
journals that's awesome because out of
the sources I'm already starting to see
a pattern now if I look at the other
ones I'm not saying any certain kind of
got any motion I've got Aurora which is
a University right I've got a dot org
site and then I've got a Google site
about expeditions okay if I go to the
next page of their bibliography I've got
an education at Autopia that's there
right they would give us information on
education and games and learning which
is what this student is focused on then
I've got another org I've got a Wii form
but then when I go down here here's
another academic journal frontiers in
psychology and that's there and then I
start to see the stimulus material which
is where it says s1 so what I'm noticing
here is if I were grading this this
student has made a commitment to finding
academic sources they also have a
commitment to academic journals as they
have three and they're all three
different journals it's not the same
journal with three different articles
from it because if I'm talking about
range right just using the same journal
doesn't really give us a range and I'm
seeing that they've cited the stimulus
material so already I know that in my
head when I go back into their paper
this student can earn a high score in
evidence because the student has made a
point to find good evidence I can tell
all of this from that reference page now
in contrast when we look at this
students reference page the first
thing I see is this hazing interview
okay that's you know whatever I see
anti-hazing law okay but then I see
Huffington Post I see USA Today I've got
something from Duke but then again I've
got at the bottom NBC news so I'm
starting to see a pattern here of
journalistic sources and if I'm seeing
journalistic sources that means they're
going to news media they're not going to
primary documents for those experts
right if I go the second page I still
have all these ends for news again so
I've got Business Insider
I've got ABC News I've got philly.com
which is the Philly Enquirer so what
this student has done this student
cannot earn a high score in evidence
because they have an over reliance on
news now what I have to then go back and
see if there's anything that's actually
peer reviewed or academic here right in
an easy way to think of peer reviewed is
it was there any process or vetting that
happened before that information was
published okay
was there a formal process do they have
to submit stuff that's my academic
journals are so great because there's a
process of submission and verification
before those things become published if
I look on here I don't see anything
academic in terms of a peer-reviewed
journal and so that student couldn't
even get that middle score if we don't
have those things because that is
required okay so really that reference
page is so important in deciding how
good your evidence is so make sure it's
not an afterthought that you really took
time and intent to think about the
quality of your evidence so when we
think about developing an argument which
was the other part of the row we want to
think about what the function of
evidence actually is and so an easy way
to put this is that evidence should be
used to support extend or complicate
your claims and I put your in all caps
there because this is not just about the
evidence it is about how the evidence is
being used to support extend or
complicate your claims and your argument
support is really easy right it works to
help you prove your point
extend it helps you extend your point to
make it connect further but then the
term complicate what I mean by that is
if I'm trying to flesh out counterclaims
and objections and limitations I have to
take on and I have to be willing to
shoot down and accept so that I can
address those pieces of evidence that
complicate our claim so if we go back to
that Tiger King example I gave you with
Joe exotic right people saying that he
should be pardoned because he was taken
advantage of and he's this good person
in whatever but his niece coming out and
saying I work for him for I don't know
how long he was like ten or so years and
her saying that he's a hundred percent
worse the Netflix showed and he's a
terrible person you have to if you're
trying to make this argument about his
exoneration or his release you have to
confront that complicated evidence that
evidence that doesn't agree and you have
to then be able to handle it and shoot
it down because again it's like
cherry-picking if we only find evidence
that supports our point we're not really
making a convincing argument because
we're relying on the weak version of the
other side and we're just actually
ignoring it and acting like it doesn't
happen okay
you also want to be blatant and explicit
with how the evidence is functioning so
minimally right if I'm saying that
school should start later and I have
this piece of evidence that says and I'm
totally making this up right now but
let's say it says that 60% of kids do
worse in first period than any other
period in the day academically right I
need to make sure what I'm talking about
that evidence I am blatant and explicit
about how this this is then proves that
we need to move school start time back
right
can't can dine for anything you have to
present the meeting and you have to make
sure that we're given that okay and then
the other big thing is that evidence
shouldn't dictate what you say it's not
about what the sources
it's rather it's about how your argument
is dictating it and then the evidence is
used to prove that okay so it's not
about the evidence and in saying here's
what the evidence says and then we're
going along on that path it's that your
argument and then how the evidence is
actually going to be used okay so then
what's the function of commentary okay
because we can't just have our evidence
especially if you look at the rubric
grow it's that connection especially in
ribeirão for about the link between the
evidence and the commentary or the
evidence in the claims right so
commentary is essentially like a bridge
it's going to unite your evidence with
your purpose if we don't have that
connection right then it doesn't work
you have to be blatant and explicit with
how the so what of your evidence
influences your argument and what I mean
by that is you have to tell us that
connection if you don't tell us that
connection we don't know why you use the
evidence we can't infer what it's
supposed to mean a really convincing
argument it's going to put all of those
pieces together and make sure we're on
the same page commentary is what's going
to move your evidence from existing to
actually being a part of your argument
right because evidence does exist but if
we don't intertwine if we don't make it
work it's not actually a part of our
argument and then that's gonna cause us
to not make it strong of a claim or
convincing argument as they want okay so
let's look at what this actually looks
like but before we do I want to show you
how important this is so I took a
snippet from the chief Reed report and
for those of you who are unfamiliar at
the end of reading Archie for your codes
together
they're docked observations that graders
and that she had as well for high
scoring and low scoring the the higher
examples are doing this the lower
examples are doing this it's really
meant to enormity help us do better in
the future
so if you look at the side with the
green these are the things that kids
didn't do well right the kids that were
low scoring consistently did these
things the things in the yellow are the
things that kids did well the kids that
were high scoring did these things look
at the pattern here right lacked
commentary only summarize implied
minimal connections treated all evidence
is equal okay so hopefully you're seeing
that pattern but just in case you aren't
let's see what the high scores did
demonstrated a link between evidence and
claims okay
presented a clear line of reasoning with
a thorough explanation of the links
between claims with a strong student
voice driving to paper provided
commentary to explain the relevance and
credibility and selected relevant
evidence that fully supported the claim
so it should be really obvious to you is
if you lack commentary right if you only
summarize if you imply you're gonna
score poorly if you are directly
connecting if you are linking if you are
clear and thorough with that commentary
and that use of evidence that supports
your student voice which is your
argument you're gonna score high so that
commentary is super important because
that's the link like I said that takes
your paper and your evidence from
existing to being an actual argument
okay so that last line is super
important alright so let's look at the
difference the irr asked for something
completely different than the IWA and
this is also a great example of to see
what it looks like when the emphasis is
on evidence versus the emphasis being on
your argument so just to give you the
highlights and this is a place where you
can pause the video stop and read the
whole paragraph and then come back in
but I know that these become long so I
want to just give you the highlights so
you see what you're looking for okay so
according to Mark D Griffin's director
of the international gaming Research
Unit of nine
Trent University psychology department
and his associate and then it goes on to
give us a piece of evidence from that
first line what should be really clear
is that this is about the source this is
not in any way about an argument that a
student is making it's about what the
evidence is saying okay then we have
this yellow line that follows though
there is generally a positive
relationship that is just meant to
extend what the source is saying and
then we have this second source
according to Hayley Ponce of Nottingham
Trent University so that staying the
University in their article and then
more evidence okay at the bottom again
we have that extension sentence this
socially detrimental behavior is one of
the primary things that separates an
avid gamer from an addicted woman and is
thus one of the major social concerns
regarding IgD so what you have here is
that the evidence is really the
foundation of what's happening this is
about what the evidence says and how
these pieces of evidence are connecting
that's an IRR that should not happen
here if you start your paragraphs and
you notice that you're starting with a
piece of evidence then your argument is
not clear and you need to fix that so
what does it look like when we actually
look at the IWA again
pause the video read through the whole
paragraph and then you can follow along
with my commentary but I'm gonna give
you the short version so if you look at
that first sentence here's a huge
difference already right in addition to
capturing engagement games also foster
motivation and collaboration among
students that greatly benefit them
academically and socially so from the
first sentence that I've read right look
go back according to Mark D Griffiths
so I already am talking about a source
in this one however the student has
started with a sub claim or a reason
right this student is arguing why we
need to use gaming more in the classroom
and so what we're seeing from this first
line is that games foster motivation and
collaboration and they benefit kids
academically and socially the only thing
the student didn't say if I wanted to be
really blatant and connect back which is
why we should use games in the classroom
more then the student says contrary to
the belief that they cause aunt Assoc
allottee anti socio social sorry
talk too fast their concentrations
Blazers video games cause anti sociology
they actually help develop social and
cooperation skills as gamers are
connected to family friends and even
more from people around the world so the
big idea here is that they're starting
with a counterclaims they're addressing
that complicated evidence then what
they're doing is they're coming back to
as mentioned earlier McGonigle's so now
we got the stimulus which is great but
she's then explaining that when they're
on the verge of an epic win so we go
back to the yellow because that's the
students voice the student trying to
bring all of this stuff together this
epic win applies to students because
rather than giving up they are more
inclined to persevere through a
difficult lesson which improves their
academic achievement right so this
student has taken evidence and it's not
about the evidence but now it's about
how the evidence proves the point that
is a huge thing here so we want to make
sure that it's the student voice that's
driving the organization the composition
the paragraph not just the evidence okay
so if you need a second to look back
over this paragraph again this is what
it should do if you rewind the video and
go back to that other slide that is not
what it should do because that paragraph
that one we just looked at was about the
evidence this is about the student voice
the student argument it has to be used
to extend complicate or support your
claims if your claims are missing that
is a problem okay all right so then if
we actually look at integration and we
think about well how do we actually
include this in and what should it look
like so just to give you some some idea
of how I coded the yellow is meant to be
the claims or the student argument where
the student is arguing the green is
their evidence and then
look at that position right you notice
that the yellow is the color that we see
the most we also notice that the
evidence the green sections aren't super
large in composition or in just one
chunk so the student has a claim
provides some evidence then tries to
connect it to another piece of evidence
another claim another piece of evidence
and then we're backing it up so the
student is really making a well-rounded
argument again pause the video read
through the paragraph here but what you
will notice as you go through and this
is just a selection of a student's
paragraph it's not the whole thing but
this student is making claim the use of
games in education increases students
interaction and engagement with content
deepening their learning experience
consequently this helps students retain
more information so game he's gonna help
kids retain information and then there's
gonna be evidence used to support extend
and complicate right and then we've got
that conversation Shapiro supports this
other study from Stanford and then
here's why okay so look at the
difference let's look at this next
integration first thing that should
stand out you don't even need to read
anything if you just look at the color
coding green is overwhelming the
paragraph right so we have two sentences
a total of two that are common to the
rest this is all summary description and
explanation explanation right these are
all examples now as you look at this you
may say well I'm not seeing quotes the
whole time well you don't have to see it
in quotes anything that is a piece of
evidence that is paraphrased or
summarized that's still evidence
description it's not advancing the
argument so what you'll see in here
carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas that
absorbs heat in the atmosphere
concentrations of the gas are rising
right according to nuclear Association
fossil fuel plants and then it continues
we have big large chunks of evidence
with no clear argument
note there so again if you pause it you
can look at it in more depth so what I
then did is I said okay if this were a
student's paper and I was that student
how would I rewrite this how could I
make it better how can I improve my
integration so look at the difference
okay now if you notice there's still a
lot of green right now but what I did do
is I left where the commentary could
continue so then if I saw this whole
paragraph the yellow would actually keep
extending I didn't want to rewrite the
whole thing to be quite so although
expensive to run countries should invest
more money in nuclear power plants
because they are better for the climate
and more reliable sources of energy now
let's look at the difference right this
one started with a description carbon
dioxide is a greenhouse gas that absorbs
heat this one started with a claim the
country should invest more money in
nuclear power plants you didn't know
this student was talking about nuclear
power plants from the first few
sentences it wasn't even clear right
there's a huge difference because now my
point is clear so the evidence is
actually serving that purpose then when
we look in the green some may disagree
claiming that what most countries are
currently doing investing in fossil
fuels is the better operation so now I'm
addressing that complicated evidence and
then I'm going to take it on and I'm
going to obviously offer my rebuttal
however according to the world nuclear
Association fossil fuel power plants
burn carbon fuels such as oil and gas to
generate steam that drives large
turbines and produces electricity
this results in reliable energy right
now the sources are working for me
rather than the evidence feeling
separate one little side note just as an
English teacher I feel the need to tell
you you do not have to use folk coats
obviously hopefully you know that but if
you look in here brackets if you're
unfamiliar with what brackets mean if
you take information out of a quote the
bracket signals to a reader that you've
taken that information out a lot of
times I like to use as you see this
produces to help the grammar flow with
my sentence and the quote don't change
the integrity of the quote but if you
need to take out a word or change a
tense to help it actually fit your
sentence more
then brackets are how you signal to an
audience that you've actually done that
okay but as you notice then we go back
to the yellow commentary given the
amount of pollution and damage caused by
the world's reliance on fossil fuels
it's important to invest in energy
sources that are healthier thus where
nuclear energy emerges as a best option
and then I've got room to continue my
commentary again so much better than the
integration here because here the the
quotes were the emphasis that was what
was important verses in here what we
have is that the claims are really
dictating where the evidence goes okay
so when we think about integration a
couple things I want to emphasize to you
and I may use a metaphor my students
know I like this but just to make it
really easy when you're evaluating your
own evidence and you're thinking about
integration before we get to this little
easy checklist that you can use and what
my brother lived in Chicago he lives in
a high-rise that was 50 floors up and
there was an elevator that was floors 1
through 30 and another elevator that was
30 through 50 now I hate closed spaces
and Heights so is this like the worst
thing was to go visit my brother um so
when I would get on the elevator I would
hope that nobody else would hit any
button so I could get straight to the
50th floor where he lived and then feel
like it was one smooth ride but if other
people got on and we stopped on every
floor the ride felt really choppy and it
felt longer than it needed to be and I
also had this struggle with like why why
are we stopping here this is unnecessary
so if you think about that in terms of
integration it should be like a smooth
elevator right we shouldn't even know
that your sources are there they're
laying the foundation and we're passing
each floor on our ride but they're so
well integrated that it feels like a
smooth ride right we're making this
really strong argument and the evidence
is coming along it's a part of our ride
if we have to stop and if we can feel
the elevator ride we can feel it stop
and we feel each piece of evidence then
it's stopping your argument and stopping
the progression and it's making it feel
bulky it's also causing us to wonder
what's the point right I thought we were
on one ride but instead
think of it is thinking there's a really
smooth elevator right right especially
if you're like me claustrophobic until
it like Heights you want to make sure
you get through that as quick as
possible but you're gonna convince me
more when the f
since its actually synthesized oh now
let's stop on floor 31 here's a piece of
evidence and then we continue a little
use floor 32 here's another piece of
evidence right that doesn't feel like
it's convincing of an argument as if
it's one troll right okay so just a nice
just a reminder for integration when you
think about evaluating your own evidence
this is a really easy way for you to go
through because remember you're going to
evaluate your evidence how it's used in
the paper but also through your
bibliography reference page or we're
excited so number one we're looking at
relevant credible and sufficient to get
to that high score so does your paper
cite a range of sources and yes to a
degree or no if your degree just assume
it's an oh right because we all want to
score those higher scores rather than be
in the middle and nothing can be implied
the paper directly cites multiple
divergent or contradictory perspectives
right again we're shooting free yes the
paper uses evidence from a range of
sources to develop and support its
arguments it uses relevant and credible
sources to develop an argument roughly
half of the evidence is from academic
and scholarly works the paper presents a
clear argument there's a debate it's not
just facts and it uses evidence to
support that argument evidence is not
simply stated it's used to persuade or
prove or convince okay keep in mind that
this is a great place to just stop the
video pause it go back through and see
how well you've done and start with your
reference page or bibliography because
you can gain a lot of knowledge there
again we've got the score notes at the
bottom relevant evidence is synthesized
right that's smooth elevator ride is
going to get you that high score and
your variety of sources and their
scholarly evidence is used but it's
maybe inconsistent and it's somewhat
varied but maybe one type of evidence is
dominating and then below no academic or
scholarly sources even if you have
twenty sources if you don't have
academic or scholarly you're not scoring
high and it's not used to support an
argument okay so some final advice when
it comes to the use of evidence remember
less is more essential information only
use key words and excerpts don't use
full quotes unless you absolutely have
to if you have to use full
those real long ones make sure you
follow your style guide because most of
the time any quote that's longer than
four lines is considered a blockquote
or needs to have special formatting so
make sure you do that and then
commentary is so much better we want to
see more of that and minimally go
through your paper and color code put
every piece of evidence paraphrase
summary in one color and then put your
own words or your commentary in another
color and then see what that ratio looks
like do you have more commentary okay
and then again use proper grammar again
I'm an English teacher so I'm going to
emphasize the grammar as much as I can
um comma and then the quote right and
then if you look on here remember our
period or punctuation for our formatting
goes after the parentheses not before if
we use brackets we're signalling that
we've changed something and then finally
one piece of advice I want to give to
give a shout out to a wonderful
University in Indiana who is an awesome
supporter of the capstone program but at
Purdue University amazing University and
has an online Writing Lab that is
awesome it's called Purdue owl if you
have questions about formatting about
grammar please go there not only are
they great supporters of the program but
they have comprehensive and wonderful
information that will help you as you
try to make sure that your paper is
clear in its formatting and also in your
presentation of ideas okay so just a
reminder of what we've done today
remember we talked about interpreting
using and synthesizing data from a
variety of perspectives to support an
argument hopefully you understand now
how to incorporate evidence how what
makes evidence sufficient relevant
incredible and then how to use
commentary to connect your evidence and
claim ok next steps evaluate the use and
quality of your evidence
minimally try to do that highlighting
that I talked about where you can see
what the ratio looks like and compose a
rough draft of your entire argument
including your bibliography reference
page we're excited because remember that
should not be an afterthought ok and
then return to your research clip in to
make sure there is alignment between
your question and your argument now that
once you've written your rough draft you
actually know where you went on your
trip so go back and
showed that there is a match between
what you said you were going to do and
what you actually did and and don't make
this harder than it needs to be if the
question doesn't match don't rewrite the
whole paper rewrite the question to make
it match what you actually did argue you
have no argument then obviously you need
to fix the whole thing okay as always if
you have any device or internet access
issues please reach out to college more
directly so they can help you they are
committed to that equity and access and
the contact is on the bottom for you to
reach out thank you for following along
with lesson eight mr. Gonzalez and I
will join you for Lesson nine and then
I'll see you again lesson 10
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