Find happiness by choosing to be a giver | Professor Raheel Nawaz | TEDxStaffordshireUniversity

Summary

In this engaging TEDx talk, the speaker explores the transformative power of giving, drawing from personal experiences and reflections. By asking thought-provoking questions about behavior, happiness, and influence, the speaker challenges the audience to consider the impact they have on others and the deep connection between happiness and generosity. The talk emphasizes that both happiness and giving are contagious and self-reinforcing, inspiring the audience to embrace a mindset of perpetual intrinsic giving in everyday interactions. With humor, vulnerability, and insight, the speaker encourages us all to choose kindness and positivity as we navigate life.

Takeaways

• 😀 Giving is not just altruistic; it’s logical and selfish, and becoming a perpetual intrinsic giver is a life hack.
• 😀 We can engineer and re-engineer our behaviors. Change is possible when we have a strong desire and support network.
• 😀 Small actions, whether positive or negative, have a significant impact on others and can shape the atmosphere of a group.
• 😀 Happiness is different from pleasure—happiness is enduring, inclusive, and often involves others, while pleasure is short-lived and material-based.
• 😀 True happiness comes from being thankful and being useful to others, often involving giving and caring for others’ well-being.
• 😀 Our happiness is deeply connected to the happiness of others. The happiest moments in life often involve sharing joy and gratitude with others.
• 😀 A small act of kindness, like a smile or a positive gesture, can have a ripple effect and trigger widespread positivity.
• 😀 The impact of one person’s behavior can influence an entire group or culture—one positive apple can save the whole barrel.
• 😀 Perpetual intrinsic giving involves consciously striving to make a positive impact in every interaction, no matter how small.
• 😀 Every day, we are faced with choices: to be a giver or a taker, and we must remind ourselves who we want to be, despite our flaws.
• 😀 Life is a balance between competing with others and finding win-win strategies that benefit everyone—being generous creates more opportunities for all.

Q & A

What is the central theme of the speaker's TEDx talk?

The central theme is the concept of giving, which the speaker argues is not only altruistic but also logical and self-serving in a positive way. The speaker links giving to happiness and explores how this cycle of giving can create a fulfilling life.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of giving in their talk?

The speaker believes that giving is essential for personal happiness and that it has a contagious, self-reinforcing nature. By giving to others, we also enrich our own lives and contribute to creating a more positive environment.

What personal experience does the speaker share to illustrate behavior change?

The speaker shares their experience of quitting smoking, a habit they acquired in the army to hide insecurities and impress others. This example is used to demonstrate how behaviors, even bad ones, can be changed with determination and support.

How does the speaker define happiness in contrast to pleasure?

The speaker defines pleasure as fleeting, materialistic, and often exclusive, whereas happiness is enduring, inclusive, and beyond material wealth. Happiness is something that must be earned, and it is tied to positive relationships and helping others.

What role does gratitude play in happiness, according to the speaker?

Gratitude is a significant component of happiness. The speaker suggests that being thankful, especially toward others, is one of the primary ways to foster long-term happiness.

How does the speaker suggest we impact others in casual interactions?

The speaker argues that every interaction, no matter how small, impacts others. A single positive gesture, like a smile or a kind word, can create a ripple effect, whereas negativity can spread in the same way. We should be mindful of the influence we have on others.

What is meant by the phrase 'perpetual intrinsic giving' in the talk?

Perpetual intrinsic giving refers to a mindset where giving is a continuous part of one's life, not just in isolated acts but as a way of being. It involves giving to others and oneself in every interaction and situation, fostering a positive environment.

Why does the speaker bring up their son Danyal in the talk?

The speaker uses their son Danyal as an example of how small, positive actions can change someone's mood. Danyal's simple act of reminding the speaker to smile and do better serves as a reminder of the importance of staying positive and giving to others.

What is the significance of the metaphor 'One good apple can save the entire barrel'?

This metaphor emphasizes the power of a single positive person or action to influence an entire group or environment. Just as one bad apple can spoil the barrel, one good apple can uplift and change the mood of a group for the better.

What is the speaker's perspective on personal growth and self-improvement?

The speaker believes that personal growth is an ongoing process. While they acknowledge their own imperfections, they highlight the importance of self-reflection and striving to be a better person each day. This is illustrated by the daily struggle between their 'giver' and 'taker' selves.