How to KEEP A WOMAN: the past is prologue

Summary

In this video, Dr. Orion Taban discusses how to maintain a long-term relationship with a woman, especially in the context of marriage and family. He argues that past efforts, such as gifts and experiences, do not guarantee continued commitment. Instead, what keeps a woman engaged is the future potential of what she has yet to receive in the relationship. Dr. Taban stresses the importance of cultivating desire by keeping future expectations alive and not prematurely fulfilling all her wishes. The key to a lasting relationship is the constant promise of something more, not past achievements.

Takeaways

• 😀 Past actions in a relationship (e.g., gifts, vacations, or milestones) do not guarantee ongoing affection or commitment from a woman.
• 😀 The more emotionally, financially, and socially invested a man becomes, the greater the leverage he has in a relationship, but also the greater the risk of emotional loss.
• 😀 A woman's needs in a relationship are constantly evolving, similar to how a stomach constantly needs nourishment, regardless of past meals.
• 😀 Once major relationship milestones are met (e.g., commitment, marriage, children), a man may feel he has nothing left to offer, putting the relationship at risk.
• 😀 What keeps a woman in a relationship is not what she has already received, but what she still desires and hasn't yet gotten.
• 😀 Men should focus on keeping the relationship future-oriented, ensuring there are always things for the woman to look forward to.
• 😀 'Future faking'—creating false promises about the future—is a dangerous strategy that can lead to distrust and eventual breakup.
• 😀 The key to maintaining a long-term relationship with a woman is to cultivate desires that she genuinely wants but hasn't yet received.
• 😀 Women are not typically driven by the same sense of debt or reciprocation that men might expect after giving gifts or making sacrifices.
• 😀 A man should avoid thinking that past investments entitle him to current affection, love, or commitment from a woman.

Q & A

What is the central argument of Dr. Orion Taban's talk?

Dr. Orion Taban argues that to maintain a woman’s long-term commitment, men must focus on future desires and goals that have not yet been fulfilled, rather than relying on past investments or actions.

Why does Dr. Taban claim that past efforts do not secure long-term commitment?

Dr. Taban explains that past efforts, such as gifts, trips, or material support, cannot guarantee ongoing affection or respect. What matters is what a woman is still hoping to receive, and not what she has already gotten.

How does Dr. Taban compare the concept of relationship investment to hunger?

He compares it to the stomach's constant need for food. Even if a person has eaten well in the past, they will still feel hungry again in the future. Similarly, in relationships, women continue to seek new emotional or material desires, regardless of past efforts.

What does Dr. Taban mean by the 'relationship escalator'?

The 'relationship escalator' refers to the traditional sequence of milestones in a relationship—commitment, love, marriage, children—that men often go through. However, once these milestones are reached, there may be little left to offer, which can lead to dissatisfaction.

Why is a woman’s ability to leave a relationship considered a significant risk for men?

Dr. Taban suggests that once a man has invested all he can (marriage, children, etc.), there is little else to give. If a woman sees no future rewards or changes in the relationship, she may leave, leaving the man with nothing more to offer.

What is the concept of 'future faking,' and why is it dangerous?

Future faking refers to men making promises about future benefits or desires that they have no intention of fulfilling. Dr. Taban warns that this is manipulative and ultimately leads to dissatisfaction and the woman leaving when the promises are not kept.

What kind of desires should men cultivate in their partners to ensure long-term commitment?

Men should cultivate desires in their partners that are both genuine and achievable within a reasonable time frame. These should be things that the woman truly wants and that the man is able to provide without over-promising or making false claims.

What does Dr. Taban mean by saying women lose what they 'haven’t yet received' if they leave a relationship?

Dr. Taban believes that a woman’s incentive to stay in a relationship is the anticipation of receiving something she still wants. If she leaves, she forfeits the possibility of receiving those things, which are the only 'losses' she faces.

How can men avoid the situation where a woman has received everything and has no reason to stay?

Men can avoid this by ensuring that they do not give their partners everything they want too soon. The key is to delay or stretch out fulfilling desires so that the woman remains invested in the relationship, looking forward to future rewards.

What is the main takeaway from Dr. Taban’s advice on maintaining long-term relationships?

The main takeaway is that men must remain focused on the future and continuously cultivate new desires in their partners. By doing so, they ensure that their relationships have a sense of progress and purpose, which keeps their partners committed.