Don't Allow People To Manipulate You Emotionally: Part 2: English: BK Shivani at Spain
Summary
TLDRThe provided transcript emphasizes the importance of personal control over one's mental state and the power of choice in response to external stimuli. It suggests that while we cannot control others or change them, we can control our own reactions and thoughts. The speaker encourages taking charge of one's mind and not allowing external factors to dictate our emotional well-being. By doing so, we can maintain emotional stability and serve as a source of support for others during their times of crisis. The transcript also touches on the potential loss of personal power if we rely too heavily on technology and fail to exercise our ability to respond to life's challenges. It concludes with the idea that practicing emotional mastery daily is essential to being able to provide genuine support to others when they need it most.
Takeaways
- 🧠 **Self-Control is Key**: We cannot change others, only ourselves, and we have complete control over our own minds and reactions.
- 💡 **Mindset Shift**: Recognizing that we have the power to control our own minds, not others, is a crucial first step towards personal empowerment.
- 🌟 **Personal Growth**: It's important to focus on personal growth and emotional health, starting with taking charge of our own mental state for a day.
- 🚫 **Rejecting Manipulation**: We should not allow others to manipulate our minds and emotions, as it leads to a loss of control and emotional dependency.
- 🔄 **Emotional Stability**: By not mirroring others' negative behaviors, we maintain our emotional stability and do not surrender our power to choose our responses.
- 🤔 **Creating Thoughts**: We have the ability to choose the thoughts we create in response to external stimuli, which determines our emotional state.
- 😤 **Avoiding Automatic Reactions**: Removing words like 'obvious' from our vocabulary helps us avoid automatic, negative reactions to situations.
- 🧘 **Inner Strength**: The right response is one that increases our inner strength, flexibility, and independence from others' behaviors.
- 🤝 **Support Through Stability**: In times of crisis, those around us need support, which means providing a stable, powerful, and positive energy, not reflecting their distress.
- 🌱 **Daily Practice**: Becoming a master of our mind requires daily practice, choosing our responses in every situation, even when they are not ideal.
- 📈 **Power of Choice**: The human mind has the power to choose from numerous options in response to any given situation, and recognizing this power is essential for emotional well-being.
Q & A
What is the main message of the transcript regarding changing people?
-The main message is that one cannot change others; they can only change themselves. People are capable of change when they want to and believe in their ability to do so.
How does the speaker suggest we should approach our own mind?
-The speaker suggests that we should take charge of our own mind, recognizing that we are the creators of our thoughts and feelings, and that we have control over our responses to external stimuli.
Why is it important to not let others control our mind?
-Allowing others to control our mind leads to a lack of emotional health and freedom. It can result in emotional manipulation and exploitation, causing us to feel dependent on others' behaviors.
What does the speaker propose as a personal challenge?
-The speaker proposes a personal challenge to take charge of one's own mind for one day, setting no expectations from the world, and responding with peace and dignity.
How does the speaker define the 'right way' to respond to situations?
-The 'right way' is defined as the response that increases inner strength, flexibility, and allows one to be the master of their mind, not dependent on others' behaviors, and radiates positive energy.
What is the significance of removing the word 'obvious' from our vocabulary?
-Removing 'obvious' allows us to recognize that we have options in how we respond to situations. Saying something is 'obvious' implies a lack of choice and gives up our power to create alternative responses.
Why is it crucial to practice choosing our response every day?
-Daily practice helps us become the master of our mind and prepares us to respond effectively and supportively in crisis situations, where stability and strength are needed to help others.
How does technology influence our ability to remember and use certain skills?
-Technology can lead to a decline in our ability to remember and use certain skills, such as phone numbers and birthdays, as it takes over these tasks for us. This can result in a loss of power and ability if we become too reliant on it.
What is the role of a support system in times of crisis?
-A support system should provide a stable, powerful, and positive energy to help those in crisis. It involves being a source of calmness, faith, and confidence that can help pull others out of their difficult situations.
How does reflecting others' behaviors impact our ability to support them?
-Reflecting others' negative behaviors can lead to a loss of our own stability and power, which in turn diminishes our ability to provide the necessary support. It can cause us to add to their pain rather than alleviate it.
What is the key to maintaining emotional health and freedom?
-The key is to take charge of our own mind, make conscious choices in our responses to life's situations, and not allow external factors or other people's behaviors to dictate our emotional state.
Outlines
🧠 Taking Control of One's Mind
The first paragraph emphasizes the importance of understanding that we cannot change others, only ourselves. It discusses the fallacy of believing we can control others while neglecting self-control. The speaker suggests shifting focus to what we can control—our own minds—and proposes an experiment of maintaining emotional health for a day to realize our inner power. The paragraph also touches on the dangers of allowing external factors to dictate our emotional state and the potential for manipulation when we are not in control of our own minds.
🌟 Creator of Thoughts and Feelings
The second paragraph delves into the concept that we are the creators of our thoughts and feelings. It challenges the notion that external stimuli dictate our reactions and instead encourages us to recognize our power to choose how we respond to life's situations. The speaker uses the example of someone being rude and asks whether we can choose to respond respectfully. The paragraph also addresses the limitations of using the word 'obvious', which can trap us into a single, predetermined reaction, and the importance of creating our own responses to be truly in control of our minds.
📈 Increasing Inner Strength and Flexibility
The third paragraph focuses on selecting the right way to respond to life's challenges based on what increases our inner strength and flexibility. It argues that the right response is one that allows us to be masters of our minds, not dependent on others' behaviors. The speaker warns against reflecting others' negative behaviors, which can lead to a loss of power and control. The paragraph also discusses the role of technology in taking over human functions and the potential loss of personal abilities if we become too reliant on it. It concludes with the idea that we must practice choosing our responses daily to be able to support others in times of crisis.
🤗 Providing Support Through Stability
The fourth paragraph discusses the importance of providing stable, powerful, and positive energy to those around us who may be in pain or crisis. It contrasts the need for a calm and supportive mindset with the tendency to mirror the negative emotions of others. The speaker emphasizes that true support comes from a place of strength and confidence, not from reacting to the immediate situation. The paragraph concludes by stressing the necessity of daily practice in choosing our responses to become a source of support and stability for others, regardless of the circumstances.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Change
💡Control
💡Mind
💡Emotional Health
💡Manipulation
💡Power
💡Response
💡Stability
💡Support
💡Situation
💡Technology
Highlights
The realization that one cannot change others but can only change oneself.
The importance of understanding when people will change themselves - when they want to.
The concept that we have control over our own mind, not others'.
The idea that we often mistakenly believe we can control others and lack control over our own mind.
The suggestion to shift focus to the mind, which we have control over, instead of others.
The challenge to take personal responsibility for one's emotional health for a day.
The empowerment that comes from recognizing we are the creators of our thoughts and feelings.
The notion that we often give away our power by attributing our emotional state to others.
The advice to remove the word 'obvious' from our vocabulary to avoid limiting our options.
The assertion that the right response is one that increases inner strength and flexibility.
The concept that reflecting others' behaviors leads to a loss of personal power and choice.
The warning against becoming overly dependent on technology, which can erode our abilities.
The importance of practicing daily to become the master of one's mind and not just reacting to situations.
The idea that we should aim to be a source of support for others by maintaining a positive, stable mindset.
The need to choose a response every day that is independent of the situation to build mental strength.
The challenge of providing support to others during their crisis by maintaining a higher vibrational energy.
The emphasis on the power of the human mind to have options and the importance of making conscious choices.
Transcripts
so let's tell our mind once and for all
today I cannot change people I can
advise I can suggest I can
instruct I can order I can force I
cannot
change who can change
them who can change them they themselves
when will they change themselves when
they wanton that's what is very
important when they want until then what
am I going to
do they will change when they want and
when will they change when they believe
they want to change until then what's
going to be my state of
mind till then I can just shift to
change the one on whom I have total
control what we did was we thought
changing People is very easy and for
ourselves we said mind is not at all in
my
control I can control other people's
mind but when it comes to my mind I
don't have control over my mind so the
equation went wrong where there was no
control we thought we have control and
where there was control I said I have no
control which mind do you think is
easier to take charge of others or my
mind my mind then let's just shift the
attention there tomorrow one day can you
take personal guarantee that you will
respond your way let anybody do whatever
they
want only one
day only one day let's experience an
emotional health of 10 because that will
show us the amazing amount of power
which we have we only have to
start we only have to start using it but
if I live under an illusion thinking
that people have the remote control of
my
mind then I allow my mind to go through
ups and downs ups and downs ups and
downs and then I start experiencing that
fluctuation most of the time of the
day and people also start believing that
they have the remote control of our
mind so they when they have to talk to
their spouse or to somebody they will
just check m
now I know what to say to get my work
done so because we believe that people
can control our mind people have also
started trying to manipulate our
mind and then because we are not masters
of our mind we sometimes allow ourself
to
get we allow oursel to get manipulated
exploited by other people
emotionally emotionally
and that's when it's not healthy for me
because then I truly believe that I'm
being controlled by somebody
else if they are happy I am happy if
they are upset I am in pain if they are
angry I'm hurt I have no Freedom left
here nothing is in my hands everything
seems to be dependent on people's
behavior so just for one
day take charge and all that you have to
do is just take
charge no expectations from the world to
be my
way let's give the world the permission
for one day be and do what you want for
one
day say what you want for one
day and I will be able to respond with
peace and dignity for one
day done
done
certain
certain personal guarantee this is
personal
guarantee we will not
try we will be certain that we will do
it why should we try the word try should
only come for those things which are not
in our
control if it comes to changing other
people I try because I'm not sure
whether they will whether they will not
so I say I will try when it comes to
hear there's no reason to try it's my
mind who is the creator of our thoughts
and
feelings who is the creator of our
thoughts and
feelings who is the creator of our
thoughts and feelings I myself once in a
while or
always always and yet I go through the
day saying they upset me they irritated
me I'm happy because of her I'm angry
because of him every time every line was
giving away the power to another person
saying you control my
mind illusion that we were living in who
is the creator of every thought and
feeling who is the creator of every
thought and feeling myself now look at
any stimulus of your life which means
look at any situation of your life it's
an outer stimulus it's
here it's here it could be a work crisis
it could be a financial crisis it could
be a health issue it could be a
relationship issue it's
outside I create the thoughts about that
issue I create the thoughts about about
that issue do I have a choice what kind
of thoughts to
create do I have a choice what kind of
thoughts to create which means if
someone is rude to me can I be
respectful to
them if someone is rude to me can I be
respectful to them yes should I
be
can I be yes should I be yes will I be
tomorrow and there
after what stops us from using our
power what stops us from using our power
you walk into this hole you walk up to
somebody you know and you just walking
up to them to wish them they see you
coming there and they deliberately look
away
you're walking up smiling ready to greet
them they see you coming and they
go how would we
respond how would we
respond options number
one option number
one different there are lot of responses
option number one they turned away
option number
one response option not thoughts first
option in response they turned away
option in
response I smile at them one option I
ignore them two option any other
option I smile at them one option I
ignore them two option any other
option I greet them third option fourth
option I greet them in my words say
horrible things about them in my
mind fifth option I greet them in my
words and I'm nice about them in my
mind sixth option forget them who's
interested in talking to them if they're
not interested in talking to me Option 1
2 3 4 5 6 we can come up with six more
options that's the power of the human
mind the human mind has
options but you know what vocabulary we
started using they turned away obviously
I'll get
Disturbed and when I used the word
obvious I was saying this was the only
option there was no other
option so let's remove this word obvious
from our vocabulary that obviously I
will feel that way because when I say
obvious I give up my power to create
options and when I say obviously I'll
get
Disturbed my friends around me said
obviously you'll get Disturbed
stamp
Endor and then repeatedly we are saying
this is the obvious response and when I
say that a couple of times this is the
obvious reaction I've prepared my mind
that every time people are not nice to
you this is how you're supposed to react
it'll do that for a
lifetime it will do that for a lifetime
because I've told it obviously this is
the way to
react she's asking me what's the right
way my right way will be my right way
there is no Universal right way way we
will need to
choose we will need to choose our right
way but on what basis are we going to
select the right way the right way is
the way which will increase my inner
strength the right way is the one which
will increase my flexibility the right
way is the one which will allow me to be
the master of my mind not dependent on
people's behaviors the right way is the
one which will radiate Good Vibrations
to my body keep me healthy the right way
is the one which will keep me happy
always now choose your right
way now choose your right way because
they turned away because they were going
through
something either they were upset with us
because of a past
Behavior either they didn't feel like
talking to us whatever that's their
issue if I reflect the same energy if I
reflect the same behavior then it's not
only one person in the day whose
behavior I'm going to start
reflecting so someone turned away this
way I turned away that way someone spoke
loudly I spoke loudly someone cheated me
I said who's interested in them I
started reflecting people's
behaviors and when I started reflecting
people's behaviors I started giving up
my power to choose a
response I only became a
I only became
a you be nice to me I'm nice to you
you're very nice to me I'm very nice to
you you're not nice to me I'm not nice
to you I don't have to do anything in
life I just have to reflect what other
people are doing to me what will that do
here my
creativity my power to choose my
response is over anything we don't
use anything we don't use we
start
any power we don't use we start losing
it 10 years back we knew everybody's
phone numbers we knew everybody's
birthdays it's a power which we were
using today
no today there is technology to tell me
what is my appointment for the day what
is everybody's birthday today what do I
have to do who do I have to meet today
now to the technology that if I'm typing
my email technology tells me my line is
not correct it corrects my grammar for
me it corrects my spelling for me
everything technology is doing which
means in the next 10 years I might not
be spelling
right I may not be writing right correct
language because technology is doing all
that for me and if I allow technology to
keep doing that for me for some time I
will start losing my power to be able to
do
it if I stop using my power to respond
to
situations and I start saying the
situation was such obviously this is
what would happen I start losing my
power and then my mind is dependent
totally on what's going on outside I'm
fortunate if things outside are going
perfect for me my mind is perfect but
the day the situation is not my way my
mind will not have the power to be
stable
it will not because I did not create
that power I have not taught it to
respond the right way I taught it to
only respond the way the situation
is and
then if life unfolds with the
situation which is not the right one for
me and that situation needs me to be
stable to focus on the solution and to
radiate power to my family that day I
may
be because I only responded to what was
happening in my life I did not choose my
response if I keep throwing back to
people the energies they are throwing to
me then I will not be able to create the
energy I need to give to
them if a member in my family is
emotionally in
pain they're going through a confusion a
crisis maybe a health issue maybe a work
related issue maybe a relationship issue
it's their issue they are going through
pain what do they need from family and
friends what do we need that time when
we are in pain what do we need from
people around us support what kind of
support what kind of support I'm going
through through pain right now I'm very
very upset I've been crying for the last
10 days nothing in my life seems to be
going right what do I need from family
and
friends what do I need from family and
friends love they all love me they don't
need to give me love at that time what
do I need love means what do I need love
means I need need
stable stable powerful pure highest
vibration energy how many of us have the
power to be most stable when our closest
family member is in absolute crisis and
pain because that's what they need that
time that's what they need that time are
we able to give that to them that time
or do we get influenced by what they are
going through and we start creating our
own share of pain and because we are in
pain we can only give pain to them we
can be sitting next to them as a
support we're sitting next to them but
we're giving them only what we are
feeling
here and what they needed that time
was what they needed that time was a
mind which is calm still full of Faith
confidence certain that everything will
be perfect not a mind sitting next to
them creating doubt fear
insecurity hurt worry anxiety that's not
called
support that's not called support which
means that situation that day in my life
will need me to create a response which
is completely opposite of the situation
the situation is here at 1 my mind needs
to be at 10 if I need to give them
support my life may be perfect but maybe
someone around me is not going through a
perfect phase in life and I am family
and friend and support means if they go
to one I should be at 10 and if I am at
10 I will be able to pull them out from
that
one but if they go to one and I also
start going down then what am I going to
do to them I will start pulling them
down even lower than what they are at
that
moment but to be able to be stable that
day when they are in crisis I will have
to choose a response every day different
to the quality of my
situation I cannot suddenly become the
master of my mind the day of a crisis it
won't
happen it won't happen practice of that
will have to happen
practice of that will have to happen
every single day in every situation
which is not my definition of a perfect
10 which means the situation could be an
eight my mind should be a 10 the
situation could be a five my mind should
be a 10 the situation could be a one my
mind should be a 10 only then only then
am I becoming not just the master of my
mind I'm also becoming a master of the
situation I'm also becoming a support
system for everyone in that situation
because if I am at 10 I will influence
others to come towards
[Music]
10
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