What The Ultimate Study On Happiness Reveals

Summary

Este video explora qué conduce a una vida feliz, contrastando la percepción común de que la riqueza y el éxito garantizan la felicidad con hallazgos de investigación que sugieren lo contrario. A través de entrevistas y estudios extensos, como el Harvard Study of Adult Development, el video destaca cómo las relaciones sólidas y significativas son cruciales para nuestra salud física y emocional. A pesar de que muchas personas inicialmente valoran el dinero y el éxito, el estudio revela que aquellos que priorizan sus relaciones tienden a ser más felices y saludables, incluso en la vejez.

Takeaways

• 💰 La riqueza y el éxito en la carrera son importantes para la mayoría de las personas, pero no necesariamente aumentan la felicidad.
• 🧠 La memoria reconstruida y la falta de objetividad hacen difícil medir la felicidad a través de las respuestas personales.
• 📈 El estudio de Harvard sobre el desarrollo adulto, iniciado en 1938, es uno de los estudios más largos y exhaustivos sobre el desarrollo humano.
• 🏃🏽‍♂️ Cuidar la salud física, como hacer ejercicio y comer bien, tiene un impacto significativo en la longevidad y la calidad de vida.
• 🤝 Las relaciones sociales no solo mejoran la felicidad, sino que también son fundamentales para la salud y la longevidad.
• 💔 La soledad y el aislamiento social están asociados con un aumento en el riesgo de enfermedades y una disminución de la esperanza de vida.
• 🇺🇸 El aislamiento social y la soledad están en aumento, y se han declarado como epidemias de salud pública en algunos países.
• "La calidad de las relaciones cercanas, más que la cantidad de conocidos o el estado civil, es lo que realmente importa para la felicidad y la salud."
• 🧘🏼 La capacidad de estar contento cuando estás solo es una habilidad valiosa, pero la conexión humana es esencial incluso para los introvertidos.
• 👵🏼 Las personas que se sienten más satisfechas con sus relaciones maritales a los 50 años tienen una mayor probabilidad de ser felices y saludables a los 80.
• 💌 Las relaciones actúan como reguladores de emociones y estrés, lo que puede tener efectos positivos en la salud física y mental a largo plazo.

Q & A

¿Qué es una de las preguntas más importantes que se aborda en el video?

Una de las preguntas más importantes que se aborda en el video es qué conduce a una vida feliz.

¿Por qué la riqueza y el éxito en la carrera son importantes para algunas personas?

La riqueza y el éxito en la carrera son importantes para algunas personas porque consideran que son aspectos significativos de una vida feliz y pueden proporcionar seguridad financiera.

¿Cuál fue el porcentaje de estudiantes universitarios encuestados en 2018 que deseaban ser exitosos en su carrera y ricos?

En una encuesta de 2018 a alrededor de cien mil estudiantes universitarios, alrededor del 55% expresaron su deseo de tener éxito en su carrera y el 83% querían convertirse en ricos.

¿Cómo se podría estudiar qué hace felices a las personas?

Se podría estudiar qué hace felices a las personas realizando encuestas y preguntando directamente a los individuos sobre qué factores contribuyen a su felicidad.

¿Por qué las memorias reconstruidas no son completamente confiables para las investigaciones de la felicidad?

Las memorias reconstruidas no son completamente confiables porque solo detectamos, codificamos y almacenamos en nuestra mente fragmentos de la experiencia total frente a nosotros, lo que puede llevar a sesgos y distorsiones en la percepción de la felicidad pasada.

¿Cuál es el estudio más largo de desarrollo humano que se conoce y quién lo dirige actualmente?

El estudio más largo de desarrollo humano que se conoce es el 'Harvard Study of Adult Development', que actualmente lo dirige Robert Waldinger.

¿Qué dos aspectos clave han descubierto 85 años de investigación en la vida saludable y feliz?

Los dos aspectos clave descubiertos son: el cuidado de la salud física, que incluye la alimentación saludable, el ejercicio regular y la prevención de hábitos dañinos; y las relaciones, que no solo mejoran la felicidad sino también la salud física y la esperanza de vida.

¿Por qué las relaciones de calidad son más importantes que la cantidad de personas que conocemos o vemos?

Las relaciones de calidad son más importantes porque son predictores más fiables de una vida feliz y saludable. La satisfacción en las relaciones maritales y cercanas se ha encontrado como uno de los factores más fuertes para predecir la felicidad y el bienestar a largo plazo.

¿Cómo son las relaciones capaces de proteger nuestra salud mental y física?

Las relaciones actúan como reguladores de emociones y estrés. Cuando enfrentamos retos y el cuerpo entra en modo de lucha o huida, las relaciones cercanas pueden ayudar a que el cuerpo regrese al equilibrio, reduciendo los niveles de cortisol y la inflamación crónica que podrían deteriorar los sistemas corporales.

¿Qué pasos simples se pueden tomar para mejorar y mantener las relaciones significativas?

Se pueden tomar acciones pequeñas y regulares, como hablar por teléfono, salir a caminar, compartir una bebida o participar en actividades comunes con los seres queridos, transformando el cuidado de las relaciones en una práctica diaria.

¿Cómo ha cambiado la forma en que usamos la tecnología para interactuar y comunicarnos con los demás y cómo ha afectado esto nuestras relaciones personales?

La tecnología ha cambiado fundamentalmente la forma en que interactuamos y comunicamos, reemplazando a menudo las conexiones personales en persona de mayor calidad con conexiones en línea de menor calidad, lo que ha llevado a una disminución en el tiempo dedicado a la socialización cara a cara.

¿Qué conclusión se puede sacar sobre el dinero y el logro después de considerar los hallazgos de la investigación de Kahneman, Deaton y Killingsworth?

La investigación sugiere que los logros y el dinero juegan un papel en nuestra felicidad, pero no son la única causa. La felicidad también se ve afectada por las relaciones y el trabajo significativo. Además, se ha encontrado que después de un cierto nivel de ingresos (aproximadamente $100,000 al año), el aumento de ingresos no se asocia con una mayor felicidad para los grupos menos felices, mientras que para los grupos más felices, los ingresos más altos parecen llevar a mayor felicidad.

Outlines

00:00

💰 La importancia del dinero y la riqueza en la búsqueda de la felicidad

Este primer párrafo explora la relación entre la riqueza y la felicidad. Se discute la creencia común de que el dinero y el éxito son fundamentales para una vida feliz, y cómo la mayoría de los estudiantes universitarios aspiran a la riqueza y el éxito profesional. Sin embargo, se cuestiona si estos logros realmente aumentan la felicidad, y se menciona un estudio que seguirá a personas a lo largo de sus vidas para entender factores que influyen en la felicidad.

05:01

🏃 La salud física y las relaciones: claves para una vida saludable y feliz

El segundo párrafo se enfoca en los hallazgos de 85 años de investigación que examinan los aspectos clave para una vida saludable y feliz. Se destaca la importancia de cuidar la salud física a través de la alimentación saludable y el ejercicio, y cómo esto reduce el riesgo de enfermedades y mejora la esperanza de vida. Además, se revela lo sorprendente que las relaciones sociales tienen un impacto significativo en nuestra salud y longevidad, más allá de la felicidad emocional.

10:01

🧠 La calidad de las relaciones cercanas y su impacto en la salud mental

Este apartado profundiza en cómo las relaciones de calidad son mejores predictores de una vida feliz y saludable que la cantidad de personas que conocemos o nuestra situación marital. Se discute cómo las relaciones estables y satisfactorias en la vida adulta pueden proteger nuestra salud mental y cognitiva, y cómo la soledad y el aislamiento social pueden tener efectos negativos en nuestra salud, comparables a factores de riesgo serios como el tabaquismo y la obesidad.

15:03

🤝 El valor de las relaciones y la conexión social en la construcción de una vida significativa

El cuarto párrafo aborda la idea de que las relaciones y la conexión social son fundamentales para construir una vida significativa y satisfactoria. Se menciona un estudio que muestra que el tiempo dedicado a las interacciones sociales ha disminuido en años recientes, y cómo la tecnología ha cambiado la forma en que nos relacionamos, a menudo reemplazando las interacciones personales de calidad. Se destaca la importancia de invertir en relaciones profundas y significativas, y cómo las personas que se acercaron más a sus relaciones fueron las que se consideraron más felices en la vejez.

20:03

💭 La percepción de la riqueza y el éxito versus la realidad de la felicidad y las relaciones

En el último párrafo, se reflexiona sobre la importancia de las relaciones en la felicidad y cómo a menudo subestimamos su valor en la búsqueda de una vida feliz. Se presentan opiniones de personas que ven la familia y las relaciones cercanas como la base de la felicidad, más allá del dinero y el éxito. Se ofrecen consejos sobre cómo cultivar las relaciones diariamente, como una práctica que se puede mejorar con el tiempo, y se comparte una historia de alguien que encontró una comunidad y felicidad al retirarse y unirse a un gimnasio. El mensaje final es que no se debe renunciar a las relaciones, ya que la vida puede cambiar en cualquier edad.

Keywords

💡Felicidad

Felicidad es el estado de ánimo positivo que se busca en la vida y que es central en el tema del video. Se discute cómo factores como la riqueza, las relaciones y el trabajo significativo contribuyen a la felicidad. En el video, se explora la importancia de las relaciones sociales y la salud física en la felicidad a lo largo de la vida.

💡Riqueza

Riqueza se refiere a tener muchos recursos financieros y se considera como un aspecto importante de la vida feliz. Sin embargo, el video sugiere que después de un cierto punto, la riqueza no proporciona mayor bienestar emocional. Se menciona que 'Earning money' y 'Being wealthy' son vistos como importantes, pero no son los únicos factores de la felicidad.

💡Relaciones

Relaciones se refiere a los vínculos interpersonales y su importancia en la salud y la felicidad. El video destaca que las relaciones no solo mejoran la felicidad, sino también la salud física y la esperanza de vida. Se utiliza como ejemplo el estudio de Harvard que muestra que las relaciones satisfactorias en la adultez tardía son predicciones fuertes de una vida saludable y feliz.

💡Trabajo significativo

Trabajo significativo implica realizar un trabajo que tenga un propósito y valor más allá del simple ganancia. En el video, se sugiere que hacer un trabajo significativo puede aumentar la felicidad, contrastando con las 'badges of achievement' que no necesariamente hacen a una persona más feliz.

💡Estudio de Harvard

Estudio de Harvard es una investigación longitudinal que ha seguido a miles de personas a lo largo de sus vidas para entender los factores que contribuyen a una vida saludable y feliz. Este estudio es clave en el video ya que proporciona evidencia sobre la importancia de las relaciones y la salud física en la felicidad.

💡Salud física

Salud física es el estado de bienestar general del cuerpo y se relaciona directamente con la felicidad. El video menciona que el cuidado de la salud física, como hacer ejercicio y una alimentación adecuada, no solo aumenta la esperanza de vida sino también la calidad de vida.

💡Lonely (solitario)

Solitario se refiere a la sensación de aislamiento social y la falta de conexión con los demás. En el video, se discute cómo el sentimiento de soledad puede ser tan perjudicial para la salud como fumar o ser obeso y cómo está en aumento en la sociedad.

💡Bienestar emocional

Bienestar emocional se refiere al estado de equilibrio y satisfacción en la vida afectiva. El video explora cómo el ingreso, las relaciones y el trabajo significativo afectan el bienestar emocional, y cómo estos factores varían de persona a persona.

💡Ejercicio

Ejercicio es una actividad física que se destaca en el video como una forma de mejorar la salud física y, en consecuencia, la felicidad. Se menciona que incluso 15 minutos de ejercicio diario pueden reducir el riesgo de mortalidad y aumentar la esperanza de vida.

💡Aislamiento social

Aislamiento social es la falta de interacción social y la falta de relaciones significativas. En el video, se indica que el aislamiento social puede aumentar el riesgo de muerte prematura y que es especialmente peligroso para los introvertidos.

💡Conexión social

Conexión social es la sensación de estar unido y en contacto con otros. El video enfatiza la conexión social como un factor crucial para la felicidad y la salud, y sugiere que es algo que se puede cultivar y mejorar con el tiempo.

Highlights

La importancia de la riqueza y el éxito profesional en la búsqueda de la felicidad.

La sorpresa de que los estudios sobre ganadores de la lotería muestran que la felicidad no siempre es sostenible.

La limitación de las memorias reconstructas en el estudio de la felicidad.

El estudio de desarrollo humano más largo de la historia, iniciado en 1938.

La fusión de dos estudios de Harvard para formar el Harvard Study of Adult Development.

La diversidad de trayectorias profesionales de los participantes del estudio.

El seguimiento de la vida de los participantes a través de entrevistas y exámenes físicos.

La expansión del estudio para incluir cónyuges e hijos de los participantes originales.

El uso de tecnologías modernas como la medición de RNA mensajero y la metilación de ADN en el estudio.

Los dos grandes hallazgos del estudio: el cuidado de la salud física y las relaciones interpersonales.

El impacto de la actividad física en la reducción del riesgo de mortalidad y la salud cognitiva.

La conexión entre las relaciones sociales y la salud y la longevidad.

El riesgo a la salud asociado con la soledad y la falta de conexión social.

La declaración de la soledad como una epidemia de salud pública por el Médico General de EE. UU.

La diferencia entre la soledad y estar solo, y cómo esto afecta la salud.

La calidad de las relaciones cercanas en lugar de la cantidad como factor determinante para la felicidad y la salud.

El papel de las relaciones como reguladores de emociones y estrés, y su efecto en la salud física.

El consejo de cultivar las relaciones sociales como una práctica diaria para mejorar la felicidad.

El contraste entre la importancia percibida de logros y riqueza versus las relaciones en la reflexión final de la vida.

El estudio de 2010 de Daniel Kahneman y Angus Deaton sobre el ingreso y la felicidad emocional.

La actualización del estudio de Kahneman y Deaton con datos más recientes que sugieren un patrón diferente de ingreso y felicidad.

Transcripts

- This video is about one of the most important questions:

what leads to a happy life?

- Realistically, money.

- Being wealthy is definitely a big aspect of it.

- To save a lot of money.

- Money. - Money.

- Earning money.

- It's very important to be rich.

- It's easy for people

to say they don't care about having money

and that money can't buy happiness,

but that's really not true.

- 'Cause I would rather cry on a yacht

than in a like a Subaru.

(both laugh)

- [Derek] Clearly, having a successful career

and financial wealth are important to people.

Is there a number in mind? Something you wanna get to?

- At least a million.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- In a survey from 2018

of around a hundred thousand college freshmen,

about 55% said they wanted to be successful in their career

and 83% reported that they wanted to become rich.

But do these accomplishments really increase happiness?

Well, that's what I wanna find out in this video.

But how do you study what makes people happy?

Well, you can ask them.

What's gonna make you happy?

- Um. - Uh.

- Uh. - Uh.

- Ooh.

- [Derek] But people aren't really good

at judging what will make them happy.

Winning the lottery seems like it should make you happy.

- What!? (sister screams)

What!? What!?

- [Derek] But numerous studies on lottery winners

find that after the initial surge of happiness wears off,

many are no happier than the rest of us.

Some are, in fact, more miserable than they were beforehand.

- 'Cause you don't see as many people as you used to see.

Obviously, you become slightly isolated,

I think in some ways.

- Yeah, I agree.

- Another problem is that people's memories aren't reliable.

- We only detect, encode and store in our brains

bits and pieces of the entire experience in front of us.

It's called reconstructed memories.

It happens to us

in all the aspects of our lives all the time.

- Most studies on happiness find older people

and ask them to recall what made them happy.

But as we've just seen, memory is unreliable.

So a better way to conduct a study

would be to follow people throughout their entire lives,

capturing the choices they make

and how those affect their happiness.

That is really hard to do.

But there is one study like this

that's been running since 1938.

Now, 85 years is a long time to run a study

so it has been passed down

from one generation of researchers to the next.

It's currently run by its fourth director, Robert Waldinger.

What is the claim to fame then of the study?

- You know, the claim to fame is that it is,

as far as we know, the longest study of human development

that's ever been done.

The longest study of any depth.

These are studies that take deep dives into people's lives

and their mental and physical health.

- [Derek] The study actually began as two separate studies

by two groups of Harvard researchers

that didn't know about each other.

The first group followed 268 young men from Harvard

to find out how they would develop into early adulthood.

- So of course,

if you wanna study normal young adult development,

you study all white guys from Harvard, right?

(Derek laughs)

You know, it's one of those limitations.

- [Derek] The second group studied 456 boys

from middle school onwards

from Boston's poorest and most disadvantaged families.

- So there were these two studies,

both meant to be studies of what goes right in development

and how we predict who does well as they grow up.

- Eventually, the two studies merged into one:

The Harvard Study of Adult Development.

At the start of the study, the participants were interviewed

and received extensive physical examinations.

And as they grew, they entered all walks of life.

Some of them became bricklayers and doctors

and factory workers and lawyers,

and one even became president of the United States.

(presidential music)

Every two years, researchers ask them questions

about their lives.

Like, "If you could stop working without loss of income,

would you, what would you do instead?

How often do you feel isolated from others?

True or false, life has more pain than pleasure."

And other questions about their marriage,

career, friendships, and their physical and mental health.

While the study started with just 724 participants,

over time, their spouses and children

were also included in the study.

So how many people are we talking about in total

who have been part of the study?

- Between 2,500 and 3,000 people altogether in the study.

- [Derek] And as technology improved,

so did the methods of data collection.

- We now draw blood from DNA.

You know, DNA wasn't even imagined in 1938.

We measure messenger RNA, DNA methylation,

we bring people into our laboratory,

we deliberately stress them out

and then see how quickly they recover from stress.

Looking at heart rate variability, for example,

looking at cortisol deposited in hair,

because that seems to be a long-term measure

of circulating cortisol.

But all of these new methods are in the service

of studying the same big phenomena

of human wellbeing.

- So what do 85 years of research

across entire human lives teach us

about a healthy and happy life?

- Two huge takeaways really.

One is no surprise.

It's that if you take care of your physical health,

it has huge benefits, not just for your longevity,

but for how long you stay healthy.

Eating well, getting regular exercise,

not abusing alcohol or drugs, not smoking,

getting preventive healthcare,

exercise is hugely important.

- [Derek] A Taiwanese study looked at the medical data

of 416,000 healthy people between 1996 and 2008.

Eight years later, they followed up with each person

to look at the link between exercise and mortality.

They found that people who exercised just 15 minutes a day

had a 14% reduced risk of dying,

and a three year longer life expectancy.

Every additional 15 minutes of exercise

decreased the risk of dying by an extra 4%.

A large meta-analysis from 2008 confirms

that people who are physically active

have a reduced risk of dying

during the timeframes investigated in each study.

Exercise also protects our cognitive health.

A meta-analysis from 2014 found

that participants with higher levels of physical activity

had a 35% reduced risk of cognitive decline

and a 14% reduced risk of dementia.

- And then the big surprising finding is, relationships,

not just keeping us happier,

but keeping us healthier and helping us live longer.

- It's not just the Harvard study.

There's now a whole list of studies

that show the importance of relationships

to human happiness and health.

They teach us three main lessons.

The first is that relationships are great for our health.

In 2010, researchers looked across 148 studies

with a total of more than 300,000 participants.

They found that, on average,

people with stronger social connections

had a 50% increased likelihood of survival

for any given year.

Being married, in particular,

has a large impact on how long people live.

- There's one study, I think it's pretty well respected,

that suggests that married men

live 12 years longer on average than unmarried men

and married women live seven years longer on average

than unmarried women.

Marriage is always a better deal for men on all parameters

than it is for women. (Derek laughs)

And it's not because you have a marriage license, right?

It's because people living together

in an intimate partnership

tend to keep each other healthier.

You have somebody who's kind of watching,

looking out for you.

It's a very real, concrete effect.

- If feeling well-connected to others

makes us happier, healthier, and extends our lives,

then what happens if we feel disconnected?

- There's a researcher, Julianne Holt-Lunstad,

out of the University of Utah,

who did a meta-analysis of a whole slew of studies

of the physical effects of loneliness.

And her calculation was that being lonely

is as dangerous to your health

as smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day,

or as dangerous as being obese.

- [Derek] Feeling disconnected from others

also makes you more prone to disease.

A large meta-analysis from 2016

found that poor social relationships

were associated with a 29% increase in risk of heart disease

and a 32% increase in risk of stroke.

- So these have real sort of quantifiable consequences

when we look at studies of thousands of people.

- One caveat is that most studies

on the health effects of loneliness

focus on people aged 50 and older.

(clock ticking)

And loneliness is on the rise.

- The U.S. Surgeon General today

declared a new public health epidemic in America.

Loneliness.

- We're now finding that one in two adults

report measurable levels of loneliness

and it turns out that young people are most affected.

And here's why this is so concerning.

It's because we've realized

that loneliness is more than just a bad feeling.

It has real consequences

for our mental and physical health.

- The UK has appointed a minister of loneliness.

Many, many countries are concerned

about this breakdown in social connection.

- A question about loneliness,

like, what does that look like?

Because, obviously, everyone experiences

some periods of loneliness.

So you know, when does it become sort of really detrimental

and how do we define that?

- Well, loneliness is different from being alone, right?

So you can be alone and quite content,

and many people are, in fact.

The ability to be content when you're alone

is quite a skill and it's a wonderful ability.

Loneliness is that subjective experience

of being less connected to people than you wanna be.

And that's why, you know, you can be lonely in a crowd.

We're all on a spectrum between extroversion,

you know, wanting lots of people in our lives,

and introversion, actually needing a lot of solitude

and not wanting a lot of people,

a lot of people are stressful for introverts.

And what we know is that neither one is healthier, right?

Like introverts are perfectly healthy.

They just may need one or two really solid relationships

and don't want a lot more people.

Nothing wrong with that at all.

Whereas extroverts may want lots of people in their lives.

- [Derek] So the second lesson is

that it's not how many people you know or see,

or even whether you're married or not,

because a bad marriage can be worse

for your health than getting divorced.

Instead, it's about the quality

of your close relationships that matters.

- When we'd followed all the original people

out to their 80s we said,

"Okay, what data actually are the best predictors

at age 50 of who's gonna be happy

and healthy at age 80 as opposed to sick or dead?"

And we thought we were gonna be looking

at blood pressure and cholesterol level at age 50

as the strongest predictors.

It was their relationships.

It was particularly their satisfaction

with their marital relationships

that was the strongest predictor.

- And relationships don't just keep us happier

and physically healthier,

they also protect our brains.

People who are in secure relationships in their 80s,

where they feel that they can rely on the other person,

find that their memories stay sharper for longer.

And people who feel lonely,

well, their memories fade quicker.

A study of retired U.S. adults found

that the rate of cognitive decline

was 20% higher over 10 years for those who felt lonely.

A meta-analysis from 2018 further confirms

the detrimental effects of loneliness,

finding that it also increased the risk of dementia.

But there's still a big open question:

what is it about the relationships

that makes them particularly healthful or helpful?

- The best hypothesis,

for which there's some pretty decent research now,

is that relationships are emotion regulators.

They're stress regulators.

So stressful things happen every day

to many of us, right?

So then what happens?

Well, the body goes into fight-or-flight mode,

blood pressure goes up,

respirations become more rapid,

circulating stress hormone levels rise.

But then the body is meant to go back to equilibrium

after that normal fight-or-flight response

when we face a challenge.

If I can come home and there's somebody here to talk to,

I can literally feel my body calm down.

What we are pretty sure happens

is that people who are isolated, that they're more likely

to stay in a kind of chronic fight-or-flight mode.

And that what that means is

that they have higher levels of circulating cortisol,

higher levels of chronic inflammation,

and that those things gradually wear away body systems.

So that's how, for example,

chronic stress can predict coronary artery disease,

but also arthritis and also type-two diabetes

because of this common mechanism

that breaks down multiple body systems.

- The key to preventing this breakdown is simple.

Just spend a little more time

with the people you care about.

Unfortunately, we seem to be doing the exact opposite.

Before going into why we're doing the exact opposite,

this part of the video was sponsored by BetterHelp.

There are many things

that can negatively impact our happiness.

It could be stress or fear or a clinical mental health issue

like depression or anxiety.

But regardless of which one it is,

therapy can help you by giving you the tools

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And that's where BetterHelp comes in.

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Just whatever's the most comfortable version

of therapy for you.

And it's easy to sign up, there's a link in the description.

It is betterhelp.com/veritasium.

Clicking on that link both helps support this channel

and it also gets you 10% off your first month of BetterHelp.

So you can try it out and see if it helps you.

And if you don't really fit with your first therapist,

which is pretty common,

you can easily switch to a new one for free

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then visit betterhelp.com/veritasium

or click that link in the description below.

So I want to thank BetterHelp

for sponsoring this part of the video.

And now, back to the importance of relationships.

There is an alarming trend in our society.

- [Newsreader] Social engagement with friends decreased

from 60 minutes a day in 2003

to just 20 minutes a day in 2020.

- The technology has fundamentally changed

how we interact with one another

and how we communicate with one another

and, unfortunately, has often replaced

what used to be rich in-person connections

with online connections, which often are of lower quality.

- Now, you may say you're an introvert

and you don't need to spend much time with people

to feel good.

And while it's true that introverts and extroverts

need different amounts of social stimulation,

both need human connection.

In 2015, Holt-Lunstad and her colleagues

looked at the data of 70 independent studies

with more than 3 million total participants.

Similar to other studies,

they found that the subjective feeling of loneliness

increased the risk of premature death by 26%.

But they also looked at

the objective measure of social isolation,

how much time you're actually spending with other people.

And they found that social isolation

increased the risk of premature death by 29%.

And unfortunately, introverts are more at risk

of being socially isolated.

Just like many young people today,

many participants from the Harvard study

also believed that money and achievement

were what they should go after to have a good life.

But what this study and plenty of others show

is that the people who were the happiest

were those that leaned into their relationships

with their partner, friends, family, and community.

And when they were in their 80s

the researchers asked them, what are you most proud of

and what is your biggest regret?

- Many people said that they were proudest

of something to do with their relationships.

So it could be, "I was a good boss, I was a good parent,

I was a good friend, I was a good mentor."

Nobody said, "I made a fortune," right?

Nobody even said, you know, "I won the Nobel Prize,"

which a few people did.

It wasn't about those badges of achievement, right,

that we think of as, "Oh, that's what we gotta get

to feel like we've had a meaningful life."

Everybody looking back mentioned their relationships.

The biggest regret was particularly among the men,

'cause this was the World War II generation.

They said, "I wish I hadn't spent so much time at work,

I wish I had spent more time with the people I care about."

- So what about our original question?

Do achievements and money really make us happy?

Well, according to the Harvard study,

badges of achievement do not necessarily make us happier,

but doing meaningful work can.

And what about money? Does that make us happier?

Well, there's a famous study from 2010

by Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton

that found that above an income of around $75,000 a year,

there is no improvement whatever

in the measures of emotional wellbeing.

But 11 years later,

Matthew Killingsworth studied data

on 33,000 employed U.S. adults

and he found that higher incomes

corresponded to higher levels of wellbeing.

So he wrote, "There was no evidence

for an experienced wellbeing plateau above $75,000 a year,

contrary to some influential past research."

In 2022, Kahneman and Killingsworth set out

to resolve the conflict with Barbara Mellers as a mediator.

When they analyzed Killingsworth's data,

they discovered an interesting pattern,

depending on how happy people were relative to others,

earning more resulted in different increases in happiness.

For each income level,

they divided people into groups based on their happiness,

low, medium, high, and so on.

And they found that below a threshold

of roughly a hundred thousand dollars a year,

a higher income was associated

with more happiness for all groups.

But if you go above that threshold,

then for the unhappiest group,

a further increase is not associated with more happiness.

However, for all the happier groups,

higher incomes do seem to lead to more happiness.

And the real twist is

that those who are the happiest to start with

stand to gain the most with increasing income.

Relationships, meaningful work,

and money all play a role in our happiness.

So why can it be so hard

to realize just how important relationships are?

- You know, if you think about it,

relationships have been there

since before we have memory, right?

So they're like the air we breathe,

we take 'em for granted.

So you don't think about that as something you cultivate

in order to make yourself happy.

We don't think about that at all.

And yet, when we study it scientifically,

we find that that turns out to be an enormous predictor

of happiness as well as physical health.

- What's gonna make you happy?

- Um. - Uh.

- Uh. - Uh.

- Um. - Uh.

- Being wealthy is definitely a big aspect of it.

But that loving family is kind of like the foundation of it.

You know what I mean? - Realistically, money.

But like building deep connections

with people are what's going

to make me happy. - [Derek] That's awesome.

- Having like good relationships with other people.

- You raise a family.

- Have a family and provide.

- Friends and family.

- Seeing my family happy, that's all I really care about.

- Giving back to the community

where you came from, the world.

- A strong family base just to come home to every night.

- Yeah. I wanna get married, have a ton of kids.

I want to- - How many is a ton?

- Probably like five-ish, six.

- That's a- - As many as I can afford.

(Derek laughs) So.

- In fact, when I interviewed people,

I was pleasantly surprised

to see how many identified the importance of relationships.

So if you could give people advice

on what to start doing today to start being happier,

what suggestions would you make?

- To think about it as analogous with physical fitness,

if you go out today, you don't come home

and say, "I'm done.

I don't ever have to do that again," right?

It's like a practice, right?

That the people who were best at relationships

were the people who made it a practice

day after day, week after week,

to stay connected to the people they cared about.

You know, to talk on the phone, to go for walks,

to have coffee, to do whatever, to play basketball.

The people who took those actions again and again regularly

were the people who stayed very connected

and stayed happy that way.

So what we propose is

that this is a practice we can cultivate

and that there are tiny actions that people can take.

We have many stories of people

who thought that they were no good at relationships,

that they were never gonna have happy lives.

And then it changed.

And many times it changed when they didn't expect it.

So like, we have a story about one man

who really didn't have a good marriage

and was kind of distant from his kids,

didn't have any friends.

And then when he retired,

he joined a gym and he found this group of friends

that became, for the first time, a kind of tribe for him.

And that's just one example

of how our lives take these twists and turns

that we usually can't predict,

that we don't expect.

And many of those turns are in positive directions.

The message that the science tells us

is don't give up on this aspect of your life.

'cause many things can change at any age.

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