Be a Leader | Motivational Talks With Steve Harvey

Summary

The speaker emphasizes the importance of leadership and personal development. They argue that being a follower can lead to undesirable consequences, such as layoffs, whereas leaders make decisions and face fewer risks. The narrative includes a personal story of a former inmate who was inspired to change his life by the speaker's radio talks, eventually becoming a chef at the Hilton. The speaker didn't aspire to be a world leader but wanted to be relevant and make a difference in people's lives, as symbolized by the dash on one's tombstone representing the life lived.

Takeaways

• 👶 **Choice of Role**: You have the choice to be either a leader or a follower, and this choice impacts your life significantly.
• 💼 **Leadership as Skill**: Leadership is not innate but a developed set of skills that one can cultivate.
• 🚫 **Fear of Consequences**: The fear of the consequences of leading often prevents people from taking on leadership roles.
• 🔍 **Responsibility of Followership**: Being a follower comes with its own dire consequences, such as job insecurity and lack of control over one's life.
• 💡 **Leadership Insight**: Leaders are often the last to face the negative impacts of organizational changes, whereas followers are the first.
• 🌟 **Personal Leadership**: You don't have to be a world leader to lead; leading your own life is a form of leadership.
• 📢 **Inspirational Impact**: Sometimes, you can inspire and change lives without intending to, just by being a role model.
• 🎓 **Self-Improvement**: Even in challenging circumstances, like being in prison, one can improve oneself and change their future.
• 😢 **Emotional Connection**: Genuine connections and impact on others can lead to emotional and heartfelt moments.
• ⏳ **Relevance Over Time**: The desire to be a relevant person whose life makes a difference, as symbolized by the dash on one's tombstone.

Q & A

What is the main idea the speaker is trying to convey about leadership?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking on a leadership role and developing leadership skills, as it offers more control over one's life compared to being a follower.

What does the speaker suggest is the fear that prevents people from becoming leaders?

The fear of the consequences of leading, such as taking responsibility for decisions and outcomes, is what stops the average person from becoming a leader.

Why does the speaker believe being a follower can be more detrimental than being a leader?

The speaker argues that followers have to deal with the decisions made by leaders, such as layoffs, which can have severe personal consequences, whereas leaders have more control over their fate.

What is the significance of the story about the man who became a chef at the Hilton?

The story illustrates the impact the speaker's words had on someone's life, inspiring them to change their life while in prison and become a successful chef.

What is the speaker's view on the role of a leader in a company facing financial difficulties?

The speaker believes that leaders are less likely to be affected by cutbacks compared to followers, as leaders make the decisions and the consequences often start at the bottom.

What does the speaker mean when he says 'leader of your own life'?

The speaker suggests that one doesn't necessarily have to be a world leader to be a leader; one can lead by taking charge of their own life and making decisions for themselves.

How does the speaker describe his aspirations regarding leadership?

The speaker did not aspire to be a world-renowned leader like Martin Luther King or Gandhi, but he did aspire to be a relevant and inspirational person.

What is the significance of the 'dash' on a tombstone according to the speaker?

The 'dash' represents the life lived between birth and death, and the speaker suggests that it is the most important part of a person's legacy.

Why does the speaker feel a connection to the man who approached him after a speech?

The speaker feels a connection because his words had a profound impact on the man's life, leading to a meaningful change and personal growth.

What does the speaker mean when he says he wants to be a 'relevant person'?

The speaker wants to have a meaningful impact on others' lives, such that his presence and contributions are remembered and valued.

What is the speaker's perspective on the importance of personal development and self-improvement?

The speaker believes in the importance of personal development, as evidenced by his encouragement for the inmate to better himself while in prison.

Outlines

00:00

🚀 The Choice Between Leading and Following

The speaker begins by discussing the dichotomy between leaders and followers, emphasizing the importance of choosing to be a leader. They argue that leadership is a skill set that can be developed, but many are held back by the fear of the consequences of leading. The speaker points out that the consequences of being a follower can be more severe, as followers have to deal with the decisions made by leaders without control over their outcomes. Using the example of layoffs, the speaker illustrates how followers can face unexpected hardships, while leaders have more control over their destinies. The narrative also touches on the idea that one doesn't need to aspire to be a world leader like Martin Luther King or Gandhi to be a leader; sometimes, leading one's own life is enough. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about a man who was inspired by their words to change his life while in prison, highlighting the impact that leaders can have on others.

Keywords

💡Leader

A leader is an individual who guides, directs, or commands a group, organization, or nation. In the context of the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of developing leadership skills and taking responsibility. The theme suggests that being a leader involves making decisions and facing consequences, which is juxtaposed with the passivity and vulnerability of being a follower. The speaker shares personal anecdotes about how he has become a leader to young men who look up to him, illustrating the impact of leadership on others.

💡Follower

A follower is someone who accepts the guidance or leadership of others. The script contrasts the roles of leaders and followers, suggesting that followers often have less control over their circumstances and are more susceptible to the decisions of leaders. The example of layoffs during Christmas time illustrates how followers can be adversely affected by the decisions made by leaders.

💡Responsibility

Responsibility refers to the state or fact of having a duty to deal with or take care of something. The video script discusses the fear of taking on responsibility as a barrier to becoming a leader. It argues that followers also bear responsibility, often for the consequences of leaders' decisions, which can be severe and dire.

💡Consequences

Consequences are the results or effects of an action or decision. The speaker in the video discusses the fear of consequences as a deterrent for people to become leaders. However, it is also highlighted that followers face consequences, such as job losses, which can be more severe than those faced by leaders.

💡Decision

A decision is the act of making a choice or determination. The script encourages individuals to make a conscious decision about whether they want to be a leader or a follower, underscoring that this choice has significant implications for one's life and the control one has over it.

💡Inspiration

Inspiration is the process of being motivated or encouraged to do or feel something, especially to do something creative. The speaker recounts how he unintentionally became an inspirational figure to others, such as a former prison inmate who credits him with changing his life. This keyword is central to the theme of the video, which is about the impact leaders can have on others.

💡Relevance

Relevance is the state of being closely connected or appropriate to the matter at hand. The speaker mentions aspiring to be a relevant person, meaning someone whose life and actions have meaning and significance to others. This is exemplified by the emotional encounter with the former inmate who was deeply affected by the speaker's words.

💡Control

Control is the power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events. The video script suggests that leaders have more control over their lives and circumstances compared to followers, who are subject to the whims of those in charge.

💡Fear

Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. The script identifies fear as a primary reason that prevents people from becoming leaders. It is portrayed as a barrier to personal growth and the development of leadership qualities.

💡Dash

In the context of the video, 'dash' refers to the symbol '-' on a tombstone that represents the span of a person's life between their birth and death. The speaker uses the dash as a metaphor for the life one leads and the legacy one leaves behind, emphasizing the importance of living a meaningful life.

💡Legacy

Legacy refers to something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past. The video script uses the concept of legacy to discuss the importance of making a significant impact during one's lifetime, as represented by the 'dash' on a tombstone.

Highlights

Deciding whether to be a leader or a follower is a pivotal choice in life.

Leadership is a skill set that can be developed over time.

Fear of consequences often prevents people from becoming leaders.

Being a follower can lead to dire consequences, such as layoffs.

Leadership is about taking responsibility for one's own life.

Leadership isn't always about leading others; it can be about leading your own life.

Leadership can come unexpectedly and influence others greatly.

An inspiring story of a man who turned his life around after listening to the speaker.

The man went from being a prison inmate to becoming a chef at the Hilton.

The speaker's words had a profound impact on the man's life, motivating him to better himself.

Leadership can start with small steps and personal growth.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of being a relevant person in the world.

The legacy one leaves behind is more important than the dates on their tombstone.

The dash between birth and death dates symbolizes the life one has lived.

The speaker aspires to be a person who makes a difference in people's lives.

The speaker's influence extends beyond his expectations, touching many lives.

The emotional impact of the speaker's words can lead to life-changing decisions.

The speaker's message is about personal empowerment and taking control of one's destiny.

Transcripts

- There's an old saying that I heard

that there's two kinds of people

born in the hospital every day.

There's a person born in the hospital

that's going to get a job,

and there's a person born in the hospital

that's going to give that person the job.

You have to decide along the way,

which one you're going to be.

You can be a leader, but a leader

is a developed set of skills.

It's a developed set.

And the more, but see here's what stops

the average person from being a leader

is the fear of the consequences of leading.

Most people don't want the responsibility

of being a leader, but let me tell you the trick though,

the responsibility and ramifications and consequences

of being a follower is dire, more dire and more severe.

Because now as a follower

you just got to go along with whatever,

you know how many adjustments you got to make

when you're a follower.

The man come in and decide I'm having layoffs.

And he hand you a slip and it's Christmas.

What, that wasn't in your plans

but whoa, you decided you didn't want to be a leader,

you want to be a follower now, guess what?

You got to deal with that.

If I'm a leader and I own a company

and the company started losing money

you think I'm fidna to not have my life?

No no, cut backs start on the follower.

The leaders don't go, well, let me quit.

'Cause if I quit ain't nobody eating.

The cutbacks start at the bottom.

So you have to make a decision

if you're going to be a leader or not,

but understand what a leader is though.

Sometimes you just really want to be the leader

of your own life.

You don't have to lead a world leader,

I have no aspirations of being Martin Luther King.

I have no aspirations of being Gandhi, none whatsoever.

I had really no aspirations

of being the leader that I become today.

That I got young men listening to me

that I wasn't even really counting on.

I got dudes emailing me, man, running up to me, man,

in essence, this brother ran up to me

and Terrence was stopping him from talking to me

and the big brother, about 300 some pounds,

sweating had a chef coat on.

Had a thermometer pen, sweating all over the place.

He had seen me come off stage, saw me go through the back.

He ran all the way round to meet me

and Terrence stand down soldier.

Well this big dude right here ain't with that.

He said, hey little man, little man, come on now.

Ain't nobody got time for all of this here.

I'm trying to holler at this man right here,

'cause you don't know what I been through.

Stand down soldier.

Little man, before this turn into something else,

I got to see him today.

His whole thing was, he was a prison inmate

down in new Orleans had been listening

to me on the radio since 2005.

Did his five years, got out the joint,

started studying in prison, food prep

because he said, man, you ain't, you told me one morning

you ain't gotta sit there and do nothing.

You can better yourself from behind the wall

and make one plan or not to come back.

He said, you changed my whole life.

He said, I come to tell you man,

I'm the chef right now at the Hilton.

But the big dude was just crying.

You know, we ended up hugging, I cried with him.

Cause you know, I be feeling people like that.

I have no idea, nor did I have an aspiration

to be an inspirational person to them.

But I have always asked God

in my own way to make me a relevant person.

You know, I don't want to be a cat that when I die

ain't nobody tripping.

Church empty, ain't nothing right here.

Cause you know there's two things, you know,

when a person dies on their tombstone,

there's a birthdate, there's a dash,

and then there's a date of your demise.

And let me tell you something, when you die,

they're not gonna talk about your birthday.

They're not going to talk about the day you died.

The biggest conversation will be about that dash,

that little dash, that's the life you lived

in the middle of that date of birth and the date of demise.

That dash will determine who you are.