Red Flags You Should Never Look Past & Phrases You Should Not Forgive

Summary

The video script emphasizes the importance of self-worth and setting boundaries in relationships. It discusses how cherishing oneself can attract the right partner or reveal that they are not a good fit. The speaker, drawing from personal experience, advises against tolerating betrayal, public put-downs, criticism of personal choices, blame, cruelty, and greed. They advocate for secure attachment styles over anxious ones and highlight the need for partners to respect and invest in each other emotionally and practically.

Takeaways

• 💔 Cherish yourself first: The speaker emphasizes that in order to attract a healthy relationship, one must first value and cherish oneself.
• 🔄 Self-work is crucial: Personal growth and self-improvement are key to becoming the best version of oneself, which can help attract the right partner.
• 🚫 Strong boundaries are essential: Establishing and maintaining strong personal boundaries is vital for self-respect and to ensure others treat you well.
• 🚫 Avoid betrayal: The speaker advises against tolerating betrayal in any form, as it can be damaging to one's self-esteem and trust.
• 🚫 Do not accept public put-downs: Public humiliation or criticism from a partner is a red flag and should not be tolerated.
• 🚫 Respect for career and hobbies: A partner should support and respect your chosen career and hobbies without trying to change or belittle them.
• 🚫 Avoid blame: Constantly being blamed for problems is a sign of a toxic relationship and is not healthy.
• 🚫 Reject cruelty: Any form of cruelty, towards you or others, is a major red flag and should not be accepted in a relationship.
• 🚫 Beware of greed: A partner who is overly stingy or unwilling to invest in the relationship may not be fully committed.
• 🔄 Willingness to change: A healthy relationship requires compromise and a willingness to adjust and change for the better.
• 🚫 Recognize manipulative phrases: Phrases that undermine your worth or make you feel undeserving are signs of manipulation and should be a cause for concern.

Q & A

What is the primary premise of getting an ex back according to the script?

The primary premise of getting an ex back is cherishing yourself first. It emphasizes self-work and becoming the person you want to be, which may attract the ex back or help you realize they weren't right for you.

How does the concept of self-worth relate to how others treat you in the script?

In the script, it is suggested that if you feel you are worthy and cherishable, others will treat you accordingly. This is based on the idea that your attitude towards yourself is mirrored by how others perceive and interact with you.

What are the two possible outcomes of focusing on self-improvement after a breakup, as mentioned in the script?

The two possible outcomes are either attracting your ex back because you were not being your best self during the relationship, or realizing that the person wasn't right for you and they were not treating you well.

Why is having strong boundaries important for women, as discussed in the script?

Having strong boundaries is important for women to preserve their energy and not be subjected to mistreatment. It is likened to guarding a castle or a treasure, signifying the importance of self-respect and self-care.

What does the speaker mean by 'red flags' in the context of relationships?

The speaker refers to 'red flags' as warning signs of potentially harmful or unhealthy behaviors in a relationship that one should not ignore, such as betrayal, public put-downs, or constant criticism.

How does the speaker describe the process of moving from an anxious attachment style to a secure one?

The speaker describes the process as a long and bumpy journey that involves 'faking it till you make it.' It involves acting secure before feeling secure to rewire the brain and change one's attachment style.

What does the speaker suggest is a better approach to dealing with potential betrayal than constantly monitoring a partner?

The speaker suggests a Zen approach, trusting in the choice of the partner and focusing on the joy of the partnership. They argue that signs of betrayal will become apparent without constant monitoring.

Why does the speaker consider public put-downs a significant red flag in a relationship?

Public put-downs are considered a red flag because they indicate a lack of respect and teamwork, which are essential for a healthy relationship. The speaker believes a partner should build you up, not tear you down.

What is the speaker's stance on the importance of investing in the relationship for both partners?

The speaker emphasizes that both partners should invest in the relationship, not just financially but also in terms of time and effort. This investment fosters a sense of ownership and oneness, which is crucial for relationship longevity.

How does the speaker feel about the phrase 'no one else would love you' in a relationship context?

The speaker views the phrase 'no one else would love you' as manipulative and dangerous because it can negatively affect one's self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

What is the speaker's advice for individuals who feel stuck in an unfulfilling relationship?

The speaker advises individuals to reframe their thinking and question whether the relationship is good enough for them. They suggest that walking away from people who exhibit harmful traits may be the best course of action.