Is Dating Today Really “Impossible”?

Summary

In this video, Matthew Hussey discusses the challenges of modern dating and suggests that many people approach it incorrectly. He criticizes the 'race to the bottom' in dating efforts and the tendency to be aloof to appear rare and valuable. Instead, he encourages being 'rare by being awesome', expressing oneself authentically to create value and invite reciprocity. Hussey emphasizes the importance of personal leadership in dating, being proactive rather than reactive, and creating an environment where both parties can be their best selves.

Takeaways

• 😔 Dating can feel difficult due to societal pressures and the 'race to the bottom' in terms of effort, where people avoid vulnerability.
• 🧐 The belief that being aloof and distant can make one appear rare or valuable is counterproductive in dating.
• 🌟 Being 'rare by being awesome' involves expressing one's true self, showing humor, playfulness, and interest in others.
• 🚫 The danger of being too awesome is that it might be mistaken for availability, causing others to take you for granted.
• 🔑 The principle of reciprocity suggests that giving first can lead to receiving in return, which is often lacking in modern dating.
• 🙅‍♂️ A follower mindset in dating, waiting for others to make the first move, can prevent the creation of a positive, engaging dynamic.
• 💡 Personal leadership in dating involves taking initiative to create an impact and set the tone for interactions.
• 🤝 The energy and attitude you bring can influence and potentially change the behavior of your dating partners.
• 💌 Small acts of bravery in communication, like sending a flirtatious text, can significantly alter the dynamic of a dating relationship.
• 😃 Making others feel brave and like a better version of themselves can increase your attractiveness and the enjoyment of being around you.
• 👋 Leaving the follower mode and embracing leadership in dating can make the process more enjoyable and successful.

Q & A

What is the main challenge people face in dating today according to Matthew Hussey?

Matthew Hussey suggests that dating today feels difficult because of a 'Race To The Bottom' in terms of effort, where people compete to appear aloof and not vulnerable, which paradoxically makes them less unique and more like everyone else.

What does Matthew Hussey believe is the cultural issue affecting dating?

He thinks there's a cultural issue where people are playing a game of being aloof to seem rare and valuable, which actually makes them blend in and become invisible in the dating scene.

How does Matthew Hussey define 'being rare by being awesome'?

He defines it as the ability to truly express oneself, show a sense of humor, be playful, fun, flirtatious, and curious about someone, which creates value for someone else.

What is the principle of reciprocity that Matthew Hussey talks about?

The principle of reciprocity is the idea that if we give first, we are much more likely to receive the same thing from someone else, which is a powerful concept in dating.

Why does Matthew Hussey think dating is seen as hard?

He believes dating is seen as hard because people are approaching it all wrong, often expecting others to make them feel comfortable or safe before they reciprocate with vulnerability or playfulness.

What does Matthew Hussey mean by 'leadership in dating'?

He means taking personal responsibility to create an impact and energy in dating situations, rather than following or waiting for someone else to lead.

What is the 'follower mindset' Matthew Hussey warns against in dating?

The 'follower mindset' is a passive approach to dating where individuals wait for others to evoke their best qualities before they reciprocate, which can lead to missed opportunities and a lack of genuine connection.

How does Matthew Hussey suggest people should approach post-date communication?

He suggests being warm, affectionate, and expressing genuine enjoyment from the date, such as sending a message the next day saying you're still smiling from the date.

What is the role of bravery in dating according to Matthew Hussey?

Bravery plays a role in dating by allowing individuals to be more of themselves upfront, which can make others feel braver and more likely to express their true selves in return.

How does Matthew Hussey recommend using Matthew AI?

He recommends using Matthew AI to ask questions about dating, get insights on what messages mean, or seek advice on what to say next in a dating scenario.