You Are Not Special Commencement Speech from Wellesley High School
Summary
TLDRIn this commencement speech, the speaker humorously challenges the notion that high school graduates are 'special' by highlighting the ubiquity of accolades and the pressure to achieve. He urges students to seek genuine achievement over mere recognition, to read extensively, develop moral sensibility, and pursue their passions with a sense of urgency. The speech concludes with the paradoxical idea that selflessness is the key to personal fulfillment and that true success comes from focusing on things greater than oneself.
Takeaways
- 🎓 **Commencement Significance**: Commencement is a forward-looking ceremony that signifies the beginning of a new phase in life, unlike weddings which are more about the bride.
- 🤔 **Reality Check**: The speaker reminds graduates that they are not inherently special or exceptional, despite the accolades and achievements they have received.
- 🌍 **Perspective on Scale**: The script highlights the vastness of the world and universe, putting the individual's significance into perspective.
- 🏆 **Trophies and Achievement**: It critiques the culture of giving everyone a trophy, which dilutes the meaning of achievement and success.
- 📈 **Standards and Excellence**: The speech suggests that lowering standards to make everyone feel good is detrimental to genuine accomplishment.
- 📚 **Value of Education**: Education should be about the love of learning, not just material advantage or social status.
- 📖 **Importance of Reading**: Reading is emphasized as a staple of life, a principle, and a means of self-respect and moral sensibility.
- 💪 **Work Ethic**: The speech encourages graduates to work hard and pursue what they love and believe in, rather than settling for complacency.
- 🌟 **Dream Big**: It inspires graduates to dream big, think independently, and live a life that is distinctive and relevant.
- ⏰ **Urgency of Time**: The script stresses the urgency of time, encouraging graduates to act now and make the most of every moment.
- 🤝 **Selflessness**: The greatest joy in life comes from selflessness, and the pursuit of happiness should be active and not just for personal gain.
Q & A
What is the speaker's overall message in the commencement speech?
-The speaker's main message is that while graduation is an important milestone, graduates should not believe they are inherently special or exceptional simply because they completed high school. Instead, they should focus on living meaningful, purposeful lives, driven by passion, curiosity, and selflessness.
How does the speaker contrast weddings and commencements?
-The speaker humorously contrasts weddings with commencements, saying that weddings are one-sided, bride-centric ceremonies with a high rate of failure (divorce), while commencements always succeed in marking an important life achievement.
Why does the speaker emphasize that 'none of you is special'?
-The speaker emphasizes that 'none of you is special' to challenge the culture of over-praising and awarding participation trophies, suggesting that being told one is special without earning it diminishes the value of real achievement and self-discovery.
What does the speaker imply about the value of accolades?
-The speaker implies that modern society places too much value on accolades and external recognition, often prioritizing them over genuine accomplishment and personal growth. He warns against seeking validation through awards rather than through hard work and the joy of learning.
How does the speaker use the concept of 'one in a million' to make a point?
-The speaker uses the 'one in a million' concept to show that even if someone is unique, on a planet with 6.8 billion people, there would still be about 7,000 others just like them. This highlights the idea that individuality is relative and that simply being unique does not make one exceptional.
What does the speaker say about the nature of education?
-The speaker believes that education should be about more than achieving material advantages. Instead, it should focus on the exhilaration of learning, gaining wisdom, and recognizing how much more there is to learn.
What advice does the speaker give about choosing work and pursuing passion?
-The speaker advises the graduates to only do work they love and believe in, and not to settle for work that doesn't resonate with them. He also warns against complacency and encourages them to find their passion actively, rather than waiting for it to come to them.
How does the speaker define living a fulfilling life?
-The speaker defines a fulfilling life as one filled with meaningful achievements and purpose, not materialistic rewards or accolades. It comes from pursuing challenging, enriching experiences and contributing positively to others, rather than seeking external validation.
What does the speaker mean by 'selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself'?
-The speaker suggests that true happiness and fulfillment come from helping others and living a life focused on contributions to the world. This selflessness, in turn, benefits the individual by bringing deeper joy and satisfaction.
What is the significance of the speaker's statement 'you're not special because everyone is'?
-The speaker means that if everyone is considered special, then the term loses its meaning. Instead of relying on the idea of being special, graduates should focus on what they do and how they contribute, which will make their lives extraordinary.
Outlines
🎓 Commencement Address: The Illusion of Specialness
The speaker begins by expressing gratitude for the opportunity to address the Wellesley High School class of 2012. They humorously compare commencement to weddings, emphasizing the forward-looking nature of graduation ceremonies. The speaker then discusses the symbolism of the event, noting the uniformity of the graduates' attire and diplomas, which signifies that no one is inherently special. They challenge the notion of individual exceptionalism by pointing out that everyone has been pampered and supported, and that empirical evidence shows there are many others just like each graduate. The speaker uses statistics to show the ubiquity of valedictorians and class presidents, suggesting that if everyone is special, then no one is. They also touch on societal pressures and the fear of insignificance that drives the pursuit of accolades over genuine achievement.
🌌 The Humbling Perspective of Scale
In this paragraph, the speaker broadens the perspective to the vastness of the universe, reminding graduates that they are not the center of it. They use humor to illustrate the point that if everyone is special, then the term loses its meaning. The speaker also addresses the American obsession with accolades over actual achievement, suggesting that this has led to a lowering of standards and a misunderstanding of what constitutes success. They criticize the idea that building a resume is more important than genuinely helping others and urge graduates to pursue what they love and believe in, rather than what will simply look good on paper. The speaker emphasizes the importance of education for its own sake and the joy of learning, rather than for material gain.
💪 The Pursuit of an Extraordinary Life
The speaker concludes by encouraging graduates to live life actively and purposefully. They quote historical figures and authors to inspire action, exploration, and the pursuit of challenges. The speaker warns against the passive consumption of life and the pursuit of superficial achievements. They advocate for selflessness, suggesting that the greatest joy in life comes from contributing to the world and the people in it. The speaker concludes by congratulating the graduates and urging them to make the most of their lives, not for their own sake, but for the sake of others and future generations.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Commencement
💡Special
💡Darwinian competition
💡Materialism
💡Accolades
💡Insignificance
💡Pursuit of happiness
💡Selflessness
💡Moral sensibility
💡Cessations
💡Carpe Diem
Highlights
Commencement is life's great ceremonial beginning with its own symbolism and meaning.
This ceremony, unlike weddings, works every time; you will stay forever graduated from high school.
The uniform worn during commencement symbolizes equality — everyone is dressed exactly the same.
Contrary to popular belief, you are not special despite the many trophies and accolades you may have received.
With 3.2 million seniors graduating across the country, if everyone is special, then no one is.
The speaker critiques the current culture of valuing accolades over genuine achievement.
Building a medical clinic should be about the well-being of others, not to boost a college application.
Wellesley High is not immune to the epidemic of compromising standards for accolades.
The phrase 'one of the best' is used often to make us feel special, but by definition, only one can be the best.
The pursuit of education should be about the exhilaration of learning, not material advantage.
You should do things you love and believe in, rather than focusing solely on the outcome or accolades.
Resist complacency and the pursuit of materialism; instead, focus on personal growth and meaning.
Reading should be a fundamental part of life — it builds self-respect and wisdom.
Live with urgency and passion, knowing that time is limited, and every day matters.
Selflessness is the most fulfilling pursuit — doing good for others brings the greatest joy.
Transcripts
dr. Wong dr. Keough missus Nowakowski
miss Curran members of the Board of
Education family and friends of the
graduates ladies and gentlemen of the
Wellesley high school class of 2012 the
privilege of speaking to you this
afternoon I'm honored and grateful thank
you so here we are
commencement life's great
forward-looking ceremony and don't say
what about weddings weddings are
one-sided and insufficiently effective
weddings are bride centric pageantry
other than conceding to a list of
unreasonable demands the groom just
stands there no stately hey everybody
look at me procession no being given
away no identity changing pronouncement
and can you imagine a television show
dedicated to watching guys try on
tuxedos their father's sitting there
misty eyed with joy and disbelief their
brothers lurking in the corner muttering
with envy left two men weddings would be
after limits testing procrastination
spontaneous almost inadvertent during
halftime on the way to the refrigerator
and then there's the frequency of
failure statistics tell us half of you
will get divorced
a winning percentage like that'll get
you last place in the American League
East the Baltimore Orioles do better
than weddings but this ceremony
commencement a commencement works every
time from this day forward truly in
sickness and in health through financial
Fiasco's through midlife crises and
passively attractive sales reps at trade
shows in Cincinnati parents go through
diminishing tolerance for annoyingness
through every difference your
reconcilable and otherwise you will stay
forever graduated from high school you
and your diploma as one till death do
you part
now commencement is life's great
ceremonial beginning with its own
attended and highly appropriate
symbolism fitting for example this for
this auspicious rite of passage is where
we find ourselves this afternoon the
venue normally I avoid cliches like the
plague wouldn't touch them with a
ten-foot pole but here we are on a
literal level playing field that matters
that says something and your ceremonial
costume shapeless uniform one size fits
all whether male or female tall or short
scholar or slacker spray-tanned prom
queen or intergalactic xbox assassin
each of you is dressed you'll notice
exactly the same and your diploma but
for your name exactly the same all of
this is as it should be because none of
you is special
you're not special you're not
exceptional contrary to what you're you
nine soccer trophies suggests you're
you're glowing 7th grade report card
despite every assurance of a certain
corpulent purple dinosaur that nice mr.
Rogers and your batty on Sylvia no
matter how often your paternal Caped
Crusader is swooped in to save you you
are nothing special yes you've been
pampered cosseted doted upon helmeted
bubble-wrapped yes capable adults with
other things to do have held you kissed
you fed you wiped your mouth wiped your
bottom trained you taught you tutored
you coached you listened to you
counseled you encouraged you consoled
you and encouraged you again
you've been nudged cajoled wheedled and
implored you've been fetid and fond over
and called sweetie pie yes you have and
certainly we've been to your games your
plays your recitals your science fairs
absolutely smiles ignite when you walk
into a room and hundreds gasp with the
light at your every tweet way maybe
you've even had your picture in the
townsmen and now you've conquered high
school and indisputably here we all have
gathered for you the pride and joy of
this fine community the first to emerge
from that magnificent new building but
do not get the idea you're anything
special because you're not the empirical
evidence is everywhere numbers even an
English teacher can't ignore Newton
Natick neat I'm allowed to say Needham
yes that has to be 2000 high school
graduates right there give or take and
that's just the neighborhood ends across
the country no fewer than 3.2 million
seniors are graduating about now for
more than 37 thousand high schools
that's 37,000 valedictorians that's
37,000 class presidents 92 thousand
harmonizing Altos 340 thousand
swaggering jocks two million one hundred
eighty-five thousand nine hundred six
see seven pairs of Uggs but why limit
ourselves to highschool after all you're
leaving it so think about this even if
you're one in a million on a planet of
6.8 billion that means there are nearly
seven thousand people just like you
imagine standing somewhere over there on
Washington Street on Marathon Monday
watching 6,800 yous go running by and
consider for a moment the bigger picture
your planet I'll remind you is not the
center of its solar system your solar
system is not the center of its galaxy
your galaxy is not the center of the
universe in fact astrophysicists are
sure us the universe has no center
therefore you cannot be it neither can
Donald Trump which someone should tell
him
although the hair is quite a phenomenon
but Dave you cry what Whitman tells me
my I'm my own version of perfect the
picked it just tells me I have the spark
of Zeus and I don't disagree
so that makes 6.8 billion examples of
perfection 6.8 billion sparks of Zeus
you see if everyone is special then no
one is if everyone gets a trophy
trophies become meaningless in our
unspoken but not so subtle Darwinian
competition with one another which
Springs I think from our fear of our own
insignificance a subset of our dread of
mortality we have of late we Americans
to our detriment come to love accolades
more than genuine achievement we have
come to see them as the point and we're
happy to compromise standards or ignore
reality if we suspect that's the
quickest way or only way to have
something to put on the mantelpiece
something to pose with crow about
something with which to leverage
ourselves into a better spot on the
social totem pole no longer is it how
you play the game no longer is it even
whether you win or lose or learn or grow
or enjoy yourself doing it now it's so
what does this get me as a consequence
as a consequence we've cheap and worthy
endeavor
and building a Guatemalan medical clinic
becomes more about the application to
Boden than the well-being of Guatemalans
it's an epidemic and in its way not even
dear old Wellesley High is immune one of
the best of the 37,000 nationwide
Wellesley High School where good is no
longer good enough where Abby is the new
C and the mid-level curriculum is called
advanced college placement and I hope
you caught me when I said one of the
best I said one of the best so we can
feel better about ourselves so he can
bask in a little easy distinction
however vague and unverifiable and count
ourselves among the elite whoever they
might be and enjoy a perceived leg up on
the perceived competition but the phrase
defies logic
by definition there can be only one best
you're it or you're not if you've
learned anything in your four years I
hope it's that education before should
before rather than material advantage
the exhilaration of learning you've
learned - I hope as Sophocles assured us
that wisdom is the chief element of
happiness second is ice-cream just just
an FYI
I also hope you've learned enough to
recognize how little you know how little
you know now at the moment for today is
just the beginning
it's where you go from here that matters
as you commence then and before you
scatter to the winds I urge you to do
whatever you do for no reason other than
you love it and believe in its
importance don't bother with work you
love work you don't believe in any more
than you would a spouse you're not crazy
about lest you to find yourself on the
wrong side of a Baltimore Orioles
comparison resist the easy comforts of
complacency the specious glitter of
materialism the narcotic paralysis of
self-satisfaction be worthy of your
advantages and read read all the time
read as a matter of principle as a
matter of self-respect read as a
nourishing staple of life develop and
protect a moral sensibility and
demonstrate the character to apply it
dream big work hard think for yourself
love everything you love everyone you
love with all your might and do so
please with a sense of urgency
for every tick of the clock subtracts
from fewer and fewer and as surely as
there are commencements there are
cessations and you'll be in no condition
to enjoy the ceremony attendant to that
eventualities no matter no matter how
delightful the afternoon the fulfilling
life the distinctive life the relevant
life is an achievement not something
that will fall into your lap because
you're a nice person or mommy ordered it
from the caterer you'll note the
founding fathers took pains to secure
your inalienable right to life liberty
and the pursuit of happiness quite an
active verb pursuit which leaves I
should think little time for lying
around watching parrots rollerskate on
YouTube the first President Roosevelt
the old Rough Rider advocated the
strenuous life mr. Thoreau wanted to
drive life into a corner to live deep
and suck out all the marrow the poet
Mary Oliver tells us to row row into the
swirl and royal locally someone I forget
who from time to time encourages young
scholars to carpe the heck out of the
diem the point is the same get busy have
at it don't wait for inspiration or
passion to find you get up get out
explore find it yourself
grab hold with both hands now before you
dash off and get your Yolo tattoo
let me point out the illogic of that
trendy little expression because you can
and should live not merely once but
every day of your life rather than you
only live once it should be you live
only once but because alou doesn't have
the same ring we shrug and decide it
doesn't matter none of this day sees him
though this alluring should be
interpreted as license for
self-indulgence like accolades ought to
be the fulfilled life is a consequence
gratifying by-product it's what happens
when you're thinking about more
important things
climb the mountain not to plant your
flag but to embrace the challenge enjoy
the air and behold the view climate so
you can see the world not so the world
can see you go to Paris to be in Paris
not to cross it off your list and
congratulate yourself for being worldly
exercise free will and creative
independent thought not for the
satisfactions they will bring you but
for the good they will do others the
rest of the 6.8 billion and those who
will follow them and then you too will
discover the great and curious truth of
the human experience is that
selflessness is the best thing you can
do for yourself the sweetest joys of
life them then come only with the
recognition that you're not special
because everyone is congratulations good
luck make for yourselves please for your
sake and for ours extraordinary lives
[Applause]
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