10 MOST COMMON ETIQUETTE MISTAKES | Do Not Do This!
Summary
TLDRIn this informative video, international social etiquette consultant Jamila Musayeva outlines 10 common etiquette mistakes to avoid. She advises promptly thanking gift givers, using 'you're welcome' instead of 'no problem,' addressing elders with respect, allowing women to initiate handshakes in social settings, sneezing into your elbow, not pointing with fingers, correctly pronouncing names, not returning used utensils to a tablecloth, identifying your drink glass correctly, and holding a teacup without extending the pinky. Musayeva's insights aim to enhance viewers' social graces and prevent awkward situations.
Takeaways
- 🎁 Always thank the gift giver promptly upon receiving the gift, even before opening it.
- 🙅♀️ Respond to 'Thank you' with 'You're welcome' or 'It was my pleasure' instead of 'No problem'.
- 👵 Use 'Hi' or 'Hello' when greeting elders or people you don't know, avoiding informal 'Hey'.
- 🤝 In social settings, wait for women to initiate a handshake to avoid discomfort.
- 🤧 Sneeze into your elbow or upper left palm and turn your head away from others.
- 👉 Avoid pointing at people with your finger; use your whole hand to gesture.
- 📝 Double-check the spelling and pronunciation of someone's name to show respect.
- 🍽️ Once utensils have been used, they should remain on the plate and not go back on the tablecloth.
- 🥂 Remember the 'b' for bread and 'd' for drink rule to avoid picking up the wrong glass at a table.
- 🍵 When drinking tea, hold the cup with your index and thumb pinched through the handle, with pinky tucked inwards.
Q & A
What is the first etiquette mistake mentioned by Jamila Musayeva in the video?
-The first etiquette mistake mentioned is not thanking the gift giver on time. It's important to acknowledge the receipt of a gift as soon as possible and then follow up with a detailed thank you note after opening the gift.
Why is it incorrect to respond to 'Thank you' with 'No problem'?
-Responding to 'Thank you' with 'No problem' implies that the task was a burden or a problem, which is not the sentiment you want to convey. The correct responses are 'You're welcome' or 'It was my pleasure', as they indicate that you were happy to help.
What is the appropriate way to greet someone older or someone you don't know?
-When greeting someone older or someone you don't know, it's more appropriate to use 'Hi' or 'Hello' instead of 'Hey', as 'Hey' can be considered informal and not suitable for such interactions.
Why should a man wait for a woman to extend her hand first during a handshake in a social setting?
-In a social setting, women are given priority, and it's considered polite for them to decide whether or not to initiate a handshake. A man should wait for a woman to extend her hand first to avoid making her feel uncomfortable.
How should one sneeze politely and hygienically?
-To sneeze politely and hygienically, one should sneeze into the elbow or the upper part of the left palm, and turn their head away from others. This prevents the spread of germs, especially since the right hand is often used for handshakes.
Why is it considered rude to point at people with your fingers?
-Pointing at people with your fingers is considered rude in many cultures because it can come off as aggressive or disrespectful. Instead, one should use an open hand to gesture towards the person they are referring to.
What is the proper way to handle utensils after using them during a meal?
-Once utensils have been used, they should not be placed back on the tablecloth. They should either remain on the plate if you are taking a break or be placed in a specific position on the plate to indicate that you have finished eating.
How can one avoid picking up the wrong glass at a social gathering?
-To avoid confusion, one can mentally associate the right-hand side with 'drinks' (D for right hand) and the left-hand side with 'bread and butter' (B for left hand). This helps remember which glass is yours when you return to your seat.
What is the correct way to hold a teacup according to etiquette?
-The correct way to hold a teacup is by pinching the handle with your index finger and thumb, using your middle finger for support, and tucking your ring finger and pinky inwards. There's no need to extend your pinky while drinking tea.
What does Jamila Musayeva suggest doing if you're unsure of how to pronounce someone's name?
-If you're unsure of how to pronounce someone's name, Jamila Musayeva suggests asking the person directly for the correct pronunciation. This shows respect and ensures that you address them correctly in future interactions.
Why is it disrespectful to have your utensils on the tablecloth after eating?
-It's disrespectful to have your utensils on the tablecloth after eating because it can imply that you are not done with your meal or that you are making a mess. The correct etiquette is to keep used utensils on the plate.
Outlines
🎁 Timely Gift Acknowledgment
Jamila Musayeva, an international social etiquette consultant and author, discusses common etiquette mistakes in her video. She emphasizes the importance of promptly thanking gift givers upon receiving a gift. Even before opening it, one should express gratitude for the gesture. After opening, a follow-up message should be sent to appreciate the specific gift. She also advises noting the thoughtfulness of the giver.
🙅♀️ Avoiding 'No Problem' Responses
Jamila points out that responding to 'Thank you' with 'No problem' is a modern etiquette faux pas. Traditional responses like 'You're welcome' or 'It's my pleasure' are more appropriate as they do not imply the task was burdensome. She encourages adhering to these traditional responses to maintain politeness.
👵 Respectful Greetings for Elders
The video script mentions that greeting elders or unfamiliar individuals with a simple 'hey' is impolite. Instead, one should use 'hi' or 'hello'. This practice shows respect and acknowledges the age or unfamiliarity of the person being greeted.
🤝 Waiting for Women to Initiate Handshake
In social settings, it is considered proper etiquette for men to wait for women to extend their hand for a handshake first. This rule acknowledges the social precedence given to women and avoids putting them in uncomfortable situations. However, in business settings, rank and position dictate who initiates the handshake, regardless of gender.
🤧 Correct Way to Sneeze
Jamila advises against sneezing into the palm of the right hand, as it can lead to the spread of germs, especially before a handshake. Instead, one should sneeze into the elbow or the upper part of the left palm and turn away from others to maintain hygiene.
👉 Avoid Pointing Fingers at People
The script highlights that using fingers to point at people during conversations is considered rude in many cultures. As an alternative, one should use an open hand to gesture towards the person being referred to, which is a more polite way of directing attention.
📝 Proper Name Pronunciation and Spelling
Mispronouncing or misspelling someone's name is disrespectful and shows a lack of attention to detail. Jamila suggests double-checking the spelling of names in written communication and capitalizing the first letter. If unsure of pronunciation, it's acceptable to ask the person for the correct way to say their name.
🍽️ Utensil Placement After Use
Once utensils have been used during a meal, they should not be placed back on the tablecloth but should remain on the plate. This practice maintains cleanliness and order on the dining table.
🥂 Identifying Your Glass
To avoid confusion about which glass is yours at a social gathering, Jamila suggests using a mental mnemonic. By associating the right hand with the letter 'd' for drinks and the left hand with 'b' for butter and bread, one can remember that their drink glasses should be on the right side of their setting.
☕️ Correct Tea Drinking Etiquette
The video corrects a common misconception about tea drinking etiquette. It is not proper to extend the pinky finger while holding a teacup. Instead, one should hold the cup with the index finger and thumb pinching the handle, using the middle finger for support, and tucking the ring finger and pinky inwards.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Etiquette
💡Gift Giver
💡No Problem
💡Greeting
💡Handshake
💡Sneezing
💡Pointing
💡Name Pronunciation
💡Utensils
💡Glass
💡Tea Drinking
Highlights
Not thanking the gift giver on time is a common etiquette mistake.
It's important to thank the gift giver as soon as you receive the gift.
Responding to 'Thank you' with 'No problem' is considered impolite.
The correct response to 'Thank you' is 'You're welcome' or 'It's my pleasure'.
Greeting elders or unknown people with 'hey' is inappropriate.
In social settings, wait for a woman to extend her hand first for a handshake.
In business settings, the hierarchy determines who initiates a handshake.
Sneezing into the palm of your right hand is impolite and unhygienic.
Sneeze into your elbow or upper left palm and turn your head away.
Using fingers to point at people is considered rude in many cultures.
Use your full hand to gesture towards people instead of pointing with fingers.
Mispronouncing or misspelling someone's name is disrespectful.
Always double-check the spelling of someone's name in written communication.
If unsure of pronunciation, ask the person for the correct way to say their name.
Used utensils should not be placed back on the tablecloth.
Place used utensils on your plate when taking a break or after finishing your meal.
To avoid picking up the wrong glass, visualize the 'b' and 'd' rule for placement.
Drinking glasses should be on the right side according to the 'b' and 'd' rule.
Holding your pinky out while drinking tea is a common misconception.
The proper way to hold a teacup is without extending the pinky finger.
Transcripts
Hello, I'm Jamila Musayeva. An
international social etiquette
consultant and the author of two books
Etiquette: The Least You Need to Know and
Afternoon Tea Etiquette.
In today's video, I'm gonna address 10
etiquette mistakes that I
often encounter. I'm gonna mention each
and every one of them
and then tell you why you shouldn't be
doing that. Common etiquette mistake
number one is
not thanking the gift giver on time. A
lot of people are faulty of this. They often
forget to thank the giver on time or
even at all.
It's important to make sure that as soon
as you receive the gift, that you are
able to see the gift,
that you write to the giver, "Thank you,
I've received your gift."
Even if you still haven't had the chance
to open the gift and see what's inside,
once you know that the gift has arrived,
you have to write the giver.
Let them know that you've received it
and then follow up with another message
once you've unpacked the gift to say
"Thank you for this particular gift that
you've given."
And then, note the good things about the
gift or how thoughtful the giver was
to consider that while giving it to you.
Common etiquette mistake number two is
responding to "Thank you," with "No problem."
A lot of people are doing this mistake.
It's something that we have recently
incorporated into our daily vocabulary
to respond to a thank you with a no
problem.
It used to be just "You're welcome," or "It's
my pleasure," which is the correct way to
answer.
Because think about it, when you respond
to a thank you with a no problem,
it assumes that whatever the person has
asked you to do was actually a burden. It
was a problem.
So now, they're acknowledging that it's
not a problem for them.
That's why it's important to always
stick to the old ways of responding
that is you're welcome or just simply it
was a pleasure for me or the pleasure
was all mine.
Common etiquette mistake number three is
greeting elder people or people that you
don't know
with a simple hey. I've seen this been
done on the streets. I've seen this done
and messages, emails, even for social
media
platforms. You have to make sure that you
address someone you don't know for the
first time
or someone who's older than you with a
hi or hello.
Do not use the word hey. It's not
appropriate for someone who's older
or for someone that you don't personally
know. The fourth common etiquette mistake
that
can lead to a lot of uncomfortable
situations is when a man
extends his hand for a handshake towards
a woman in a social setting
first. And I want to emphasize the word
social setting.
Because in a social setting, the priority
is always given to females,
so women have more authority to decide
where to sit
and they get the best view and they get
to decide whether or not they want to
handshake a man.
In that case, in a social setting, always
wait for a woman to extend her
hand first. If you don't wait for that
and a man,
you being a man extend your hand first
towards a woman,
she might not respond to it at all and
your hand is going to be just hanging
there
which is not going to make you feel
comfortable at all or you'll put the
woman in an uncomfortable situation
where she has to respond,
but she's not really willing to do so. In
business etiquette, however,
gender doesn't play any role. It's the
rank, the position that you occupy
that will determine who needs to extend
the hand to whom first.
Common etiquette mistake number five is
when you are sneezing
into the palm of your right hand. So when
you just hold yourself like that
and you sneeze like that, it's not right.
It's impolite.
It is not hygienic because usually, we
use our right hand to extend for a
handshake.
Therefore, the likelihood of you
transferring your germs to someone else
is a lot higher. What you have to do is
either sneeze into the elbow of your
hand like that
or you can use the left palm of your the
upper palm of your hand like that.
And you should turn away your head away
from the person you're talking to when
you need to sneeze.
So if you need to sneeze, just apologize
and do like that,
and cover your mouth. Common etiquette
mistake number
six is using your fingers to point at
people that you're talking about.
Let's say you're at a meeting and you
need to say that I don't know, Ana raised
this point,
and you're just using your finger to
point at Ana and someone else,
and then someone else we're referring to
people. It is very
rude in a lot of cultures to point at
people using your finger.
So instead, what you have to do is use
your full hand
to gesture towards the person. So say Ana
said this
and then John said this, instead of using
your fingers to point at people.
Common etiquette mistake number seven is
mispronouncing or misspelling someone's
name.
This looks so obvious and it seems like
why would anyone misspell or
mispronounce someone's name especially
when they can see the name.
But I assure you, I get tons of emails
where people have misspelled my name.
And either, you know they've addressed me
as Jammy or
Jamelia, or people see how I sign off my
name in an email and then still address
me in the wrong way.
I think it means that people don't pay
attention to your name which is
something that's so disrespectful
towards the person that you're
addressing, so make sure to double check
that you're actually using the person's
name
to spell it when you're writing to them
as well as
capitalize the first letter, obviously.
I can, I can't just tell you how many
emails I get with my name
with a small letter in it. I think it's
so disrespectful towards the person. And
then immediately, it just
throws you off and you don't take the
email seriously that much.
So pay attention to the way you spell
someone's name because
every person loves their name and loves
to hear their name actually.
And when you are addressing someone in
person, make sure
you pronounce it correctly. And if you
don't know how to pronounce,
it's okay to ask could you please help
me? Could you tell me how
is the right way to pronounce someone
your name? And
I assure you the person will prefer that
you ask that question
instead of using a wrong name or
mispronounced name
throughout the whole conversation. Common
etiquette mistake number eight
is once you have picked up your utensils
and ate something,
those utensils that have been used can
never go back on a tablecloth.
You have to make sure that they remain
on your plate either like that, if you're
taking a break.
Or if you have finished, you'll just
place them in this position.
Or then again, you can switch and use into
this position.
But once they have touched the food, they
have to remain
on the plate. Never put them back on a
tablecloth.
Common etiquette mistake number nine is
picking up the wrong
glass. I have seen this done so many
times at different parties,
birthday celebrations where people
confused after, you know,
they stand, they stood up, they danced, they
came back to their seat,
and they confused which of these two are
actually their glass.
So in order not to confuse that, you need
to remember this rule.
Visualize in your mind. You can train
yourself to do it at home. And then, when
you're
out, you can just do it in your head. So
this is your left hand.
And if you do a circle like that, it
represents a letter b.
And if you put your fingers like that in
your right hand, it's going to represent
a letter d.
So the letter d stands for your drinks
and the letter b stands for your butter
and bread.
So when you have mentally done this
image,
you will know that your drink glasses
everything that you're drinking, all the
glasses
will be placed on the right hand side. So
once you take a seat,
you will know visually okay this is
where it has to be and this is my glass.
So don't reach out to take the glass off
the person who seated next to you.
Common mistake number ten and the final
one for this video
is holding your pinky out when you're
drinking a cup of tea.
It seems like we already know it and we
have already talked about it so so many
times.
But recently, I was watching a video on
youtube
Architectural Digest was visiting the
home of Tommy Hilfiger.
And the last episode or the last scene
was where his wife
and him were enjoying a cup of tea, and
she tells him
to put his pinky out and that was the
right way of drinking the tea.
I will let you watch this part of the
video and we'll come back to discuss
some more
every cup and no you have to have it
your pinky.
Ding the pinky up is the proper that's
right. Let's see
a little more angle. There you go. Good
and then
sip.
Perfect. So the right way of holding the
teacup,
is pinching your index finger and your
thumb
through this handle, then using your
middle finger as a support,
and then your ring finger and your pinky
is tucked inwards like that so you're
holding the teacup
just like this. There's no need to extend
your pinky.
If this is something that you enjoyed
looking at some common etiquette
mistakes,
please do let me know down in the
comment section below. If you would like
to see a series of these videos and, I'll
be more than happy to shoot new ones for
you.
Thank you for attention and I'll see you in
my next video. Bye.
[Music]
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