Effective Mentorship: How to Prepare for the First Meeting and Ask the Right Questions | xoreni

Summary

In this video, Renny discusses the importance of mentorship and how to make the most of your first meeting with a mentor. She emphasizes the need to understand the purpose of the mentorship and to prepare well by researching the mentor beforehand. Renny suggests starting with an introduction and then asking specific questions related to career progression. She provides examples of questions to ask, such as about their career journey, challenges faced, and advice for growth. Renny also advises on how to handle the end of the meeting, including expressing interest in continuing the mentorship and sending a thank you note afterwards.

Takeaways

• 😀 The initial mentorship meeting is an opportunity to get to know the mentor and decide if you want to continue the relationship.
• 🔍 Before entering a mentorship, understand the purpose of the relationship and ensure your questions align with that purpose.
• 👤 It's important to research your mentor beforehand to know their background and expertise.
• 🗣️ As a mentee, take the initiative to run the meeting and come prepared with an agenda and questions.
• 👋 Start the meeting with an introduction of yourself and your goals for the mentorship.
• ❄️ Use icebreakers to establish a personal connection and find common ground with your mentor.
• 📝 Prepare a list of specific questions related to career progression or other areas you want to learn about.
• 🚀 Ask about pivotal steps your mentor took in their career and any mistakes they made to learn from their experiences.
• 🤔 Pose situational questions to get advice on specific challenges or scenarios you're facing.
• 🤝 Inquire about what your mentor values in a mentee and what they believe makes a mentorship relationship mutually beneficial.
• 💌 Always send a thank you note after the meeting to express gratitude for their time and insights.

Q & A

What is the main purpose of a first meeting with a potential mentor?

The main purpose of a first meeting with a potential mentor is to get to know them, understand their background and expertise, and decide if you want to continue the mentorship relationship.

Why is it important to know the purpose of the mentorship relationship before starting?

Knowing the purpose of the mentorship relationship is important because it guides the direction of the questions you ask and the topics you discuss, ensuring that the mentorship aligns with your specific goals and needs.

How should one prepare for a mentorship meeting?

One should prepare for a mentorship meeting by researching the mentor, preparing an introduction about themselves and their goals, and having a list of specific questions related to their mentorship objectives.

What are some icebreakers that can be used to start a mentorship meeting?

Icebreakers can include mentioning common interests or experiences found on the mentor's profile, such as working at the same company or running a podcast, to build rapport and create a comfortable conversational environment.

Why is it important to have questions prepared for a mentorship meeting?

Having questions prepared ensures that the meeting is productive and that you cover all the topics you wish to discuss. It also helps to keep the conversation flowing and provides a fallback if the discussion stalls.

What type of questions should one ask during a mentorship meeting focused on career progression?

Questions should be focused on the mentor's career journey, their experiences, and advice for career advancement. Examples include asking about pivotal steps in their career, the value of formal education like an MBA, and how to handle situations where one feels underqualified for a role.

How can situational questions benefit a mentorship meeting?

Situational questions allow the mentor to provide specific advice tailored to the mentee's current challenges or experiences, making the mentorship more practical and applicable to real-life scenarios.

What are some examples of situational questions to ask during a mentorship meeting?

Examples include asking for advice on receiving constructive criticism, selling an idea to stakeholders, preparing for a performance review, and improving delegation skills.

Why is it important to discuss the value of mentorship and what both parties can contribute during the first meeting?

Discussing the value of mentorship and mutual contributions helps set expectations and ensures that both the mentor and mentee understand and agree on the goals and benefits of the relationship.

How should one follow up after a mentorship meeting?

One should send a thank you note expressing gratitude for the mentor's time and insights. This follow-up helps to leave a positive impression and maintain the connection for future interactions.

Outlines

00:00

🤝 Introduction to Mentorship

The paragraph introduces the concept of mentorship by comparing it to a first date, emphasizing the importance of understanding the purpose of the relationship. The speaker, Renny, encourages viewers to prepare for a mentorship meeting by researching the mentor and having clear goals. It's suggested to start with an introduction and to ask open-ended questions to get to know the mentor better. The paragraph also highlights the importance of mentees taking the initiative in running the meeting and being prepared with questions to ensure a productive mentorship.

05:02

🎓 Career Progression and Education

This paragraph delves into questions that focus on career progression and the value of formal education. It discusses the importance of understanding the mentor's journey and their views on whether an MBA or similar education is necessary for career advancement. The speaker suggests asking about pivotal steps in the mentor's career and their approach to roles they weren't initially qualified for. It also touches on the idea of becoming a leader without a leadership position and the importance of learning from the mentor's mistakes.

10:03

🤔 Situational and Mentorship-Specific Questions

The final paragraph discusses the value of situational questions that allow the mentor to provide guidance based on specific scenarios the mentee might be facing. It includes examples of such questions, ranging from dealing with unhelpful feedback to selling ideas effectively. The speaker also recommends asking mentorship-specific questions to understand the mentor's expectations and values. The paragraph concludes with advice on how to establish the frequency of future meetings and the importance of sending a thank-you note after the mentorship session, emphasizing the value of expressing gratitude.

Keywords

💡Mentorship

Mentorship refers to a relationship in which a more experienced or knowledgeable person guides a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. In the context of the video, mentorship is the central theme, with the speaker discussing how to initiate and conduct a mentorship meeting, emphasizing the importance of understanding the mentor's background and setting clear goals for the relationship.

💡Career Progression

Career progression is the advancement of an individual's professional career through acquiring new skills, taking on more responsibilities, or moving to higher positions. The video script uses this term to highlight the purpose of mentorship, where the mentee seeks guidance to enhance their career growth, such as moving into management roles or gaining new skills.

💡Introduction

In the video, introduction is emphasized as the initial step in a mentorship meeting, where both parties share a bit about themselves, their goals, and expectations. It sets the stage for building rapport and understanding each other's professional and personal backgrounds, which is crucial for a successful mentorship.

💡Agenda

An agenda in the context of the video refers to a planned set of topics or questions that the mentee should prepare before the mentorship meeting. It ensures that the meeting is productive and focused on the mentee's objectives, such as discussing career progression or seeking advice on specific professional challenges.

💡Icebreakers

Icebreakers are activities or questions used to initiate a conversation and make people feel more comfortable with each other. The script suggests using icebreakers to ease into the mentorship meeting, by finding common ground or shared interests, which helps in establishing a personal connection beyond the professional one.

💡Management Role

A management role refers to a position where an individual is responsible for overseeing the work of a team or department. The video discusses questions that can be asked to understand how a mentor transitioned into a management role, what challenges they faced, and what advice they have for someone aspiring to such a position.

💡Leadership

Leadership is the act of leading a group of people or an organization. The video encourages mentees to ask mentors about their leadership journey and how they can develop leadership skills, even if they are not currently in a leadership position, which is valuable for career progression.

💡Mistakes

Mistakes, in the context of the video, are experiences that the mentor has had which the mentee can learn from to avoid similar pitfalls. The script suggests asking mentors about their significant career mistakes as a way to gain insight and guidance on how to navigate one's own career path.

💡Situational Questions

Situational questions are those that relate to specific scenarios or situations that the mentee is facing or anticipates facing. The video script recommends using these types of questions to get tailored advice from the mentor, such as how to handle a lack of constructive criticism from a manager or how to prepare for a performance review.

💡Reciprocity

Reciprocity in mentorship implies a mutual exchange of value between the mentor and mentee. The video script touches on the importance of understanding what each party values in the relationship to ensure it is beneficial for both, such as the mentor's expectations from the mentee and vice versa.

💡Thank You Note

A thank you note is a message expressing gratitude, often sent after a meeting or event. The video emphasizes the importance of sending a thank you note after a mentorship meeting as a gesture of appreciation for the mentor's time and insights, which helps in maintaining a positive and respectful relationship.

Highlights

The importance of understanding the purpose of mentorship before entering a mentorship relationship.

The necessity of knowing your mentor's background before the first meeting.

The mentee's responsibility to prepare and lead the mentorship meeting.

The suggestion to conduct research on your mentor using platforms like Google and LinkedIn.

The value of starting the mentorship meeting with personal introductions.

Using icebreakers to establish a connection beyond professional interests.

Asking about the mentor's past experiences and lessons learned from their career.

Inquiring about pivotal steps that advanced the mentor's career.

Discussing the necessity of formal education like an MBA for career progression.

Understanding how to approach a role for which one might not be fully qualified.

Learning how to demonstrate leadership qualities without a leadership position.

Gathering insights on avoiding significant career mistakes from the mentor's experience.

Seeking advice on how to position oneself for growth within a company.

Asking situational questions to get specific guidance on current challenges.

Understanding what the mentor values in a mentee and what they expect from the relationship.

Discussing the mutual benefits of mentorship and how to make it a successful partnership.

The significance of sending a thank you note after the mentorship meeting to show appreciation.

Transcripts

just like when you have a first date

with someone this is your opportunity to

get to know them

and decide if you want to carry on with

them

[Music]

hi everyone welcome back to my channel

my name is renny

thank you so much for taking your time

out of your busy day to watch this video

so make sure you like comment and

subscribe before we start

and today we'll be talking all about

mentorship so i know i just did a video

about mentorship

and it was pretty well received a lot of

you asked for

a video about the specific questions i

would ask during a mentorship meeting

so that's what i'm going to do today so

let's set the scene

let's say this is someone that you are

meeting for the very first

time somebody introduced you to and

you're meeting them for the very first

time either online

or in person the first thing that you

need to know before you enter a

mentorship relationship

and i've said this before you need to

know the purpose of the mentorship

relationship

so if you're looking to for them to help

you with career progression

make sure that the questions you ask are

revolving around career progression so

with your first meeting with your mentor

it's really all about getting to know

them

if you're if this is a mentorship that

will last for months and months and

months

if it's not then you may want to dive

into a lot of the questions

at the beginning but still make sure you

start with an introduction of

you and them ideally and i emphasize

this you should know a lot about your

mentor before

the relationship even starts so if

someone connects you with someone

make sure you're doing your googles

you're searching on linkedin and you're

getting to know all about that person

so you can it's basically like you're

you're going for an interview you know

about that person and what they do

they can tell you more about what they

do but just know a general high level so

it's not like you're going in blind

remember that as a mentee the onus is on

you

to run this meeting so the mentor should

only do as much as you do as the mentee

so if you come unprepared and you have

no questions

you don't have an agenda set for the

meeting you can't expect the mentor to

do that so i would introduce myself and

tell them a little bit about me

and my goals for this mentorship and

then ask them about themselves when you

first sit down you would say something

like

hi lisa thank you so much for taking

your time to meet me

i was so happy when billy was able to

introduce you to me

so i am currently working in digital

marketing at

this company and i am working in digital

marketing but i'm so

interested in getting to know more about

print marketing

i know that you are the head of print at

this company and i would just love to

learn more from you

and get to know some of the projects

you're working on and any opportunities

that are available

where you work i really want to learn

from you and learn about your career

progression

and hopefully build a long-term

relationship with regular meetings so

that i can

learn from you so this is a great way to

start the meeting if

you are just getting to know them for

the first time

i also recommend even before this you

start off with

some icebreakers not formal icebreaker

games like you would play

at an event or something but just

getting to know them if you

saw on their profile that they worked at

the same company as you that's something

to mention or if you see that they run a

podcast

that's something to also mention as well

don't be creepy about it

make sure it doesn't seem like you're

digging in too deep before you even met

them in person

but just knowing a bit about them and

building with them on a level

not just professionally but personally

is a great asset

and it will help for longevity in the

relationship once you've had this

introduction both personal

and professional and you've established

that you want to discuss career

progression

i would ask questions specific to career

progression

i always come to my meetings with a few

questions prepared actually not a few i

usually have like 10 or 15 questions

prepared

but of course i usually don't have to

ask all of them because the conversation

flows naturally

however you it's always good to have

those prepared just so that

in case you are stuck and you have

nothing else to say you can think

you can just look at your notes and ask

them specific questions

don't worry it's okay to have your notes

there there's no harm in that

especially with virtual meetings they

won't even know that you have your notes

there

so make sure that you have notes and

you're prepared for every single meeting

that you may have so these are some

great questions that i

i've asked in the past relating to

career progression

and some questions that you can ask as

well the first question is

what do you wish you knew before you

took your first management role

this is a great question for getting the

person to open up and tell you about

their history

and of course in the introduction they

should have told you about where they

started and the roles leading up to

where you are right now but again this

allows them to tell you okay these are

the mistakes i made

losing up to this role that i'm in now

and i really wish that i had done

xyz before the second question would be

what is a pivotal step that you took

that propelled your career to move into

a management role

do you believe that getting an mba is

necessary so this

is a great question for learning exactly

what the person did to get them into the

world they currently

in and it also lets you know whether

they think that getting

education formal education is necessary

in order to

get into this role for some roles it's

actually necessary for you to go back to

school in order to get it

but for a lot of them a lot of people

will say no like there's no need to

waste your money on an mba so this is a

great way to gauge

and of course as i said before you

always need to have a board of directors

which is your

group of mentors so some mentors may

have different opinions on this but it's

just good to get people's feedback and

see how they

see their journey thus far next question

is was there ever a role you applied for

and landed but weren't 100 qualified to

do so

how do you approach it to ensure that

you don't disappoint anybody

this is a great question to ask if you

are in a similar position

so for example if your manager is

preparing you to move into a more senior

role but you feel like you're not

qualified

this would be a great way to ask a

mentor and see what they think i think

most mentors

whenever i've asked this question have

said just go for it this is a great

opportunity many people don't get pushed

into roles

they actually prove themselves many many

times before and often get passed over

for a role

so if you're able to get this

opportunity definitely make sure that

you take it

another question would be how do i

become a leader

even if i'm not in a leadership position

so i find that this is a great question

to ask and a lot of people are very

intrigued by this question

because as many of us we are individual

contributors or project managers so we

are not in that level

that we are we are people managers but

we want to get there so this is a great

way to see

how you can prove yourself while you're

an individual contributor or

a people or a project manager and

hopefully that will allow you to become

a people manager

so again learning from their experience

another great question that i like

is what is one of the biggest mistakes

you've made career-wise that i

should avoid so this allows you to again

to learn from their mistakes mentorship

is

a guide who is taking you through their

life and allowing you to not mistake

make the mistakes

they made so asking a direct question

like this allows them to give you

it straight and easy okay they can tell

you exactly what mistakes they made

and what not to do one more question

that i would ask in relation to career

progression

is when you've outgrown your role but

want to remain within the company

how do you position it to management so

that you don't hurt the relationship

i think this is something that many of

us face especially if you work in a

large organization there's a way to

navigate things

because of all the politics that go on

and bureaucracy that goes on

so people who are more senior than you

are able to teach you and

teach you how to navigate these

situations some other questions that and

these are the ones that i find most

valuable

are the situational questions i think

these are some of the best questions to

ask

because you're actually asking i did

this

and i want to know your opinion on it or

i want to know how i should approach it

in the future

i'll just give you a few examples of

these questions

so number one would be my manager is

constantly giving me

feedback such as you're amazing you're

great when i ask for a genuine critique

she says i'm perfect and then there's

nothing wrong

how do you approach a situation like

that to get more constructive criticism

a second question would be so say the

person that you're

reaching out to is in sales you would

reach out to them and

quote their sales experience so you say

as someone in sales

what are your tips on how to sell

someone on an idea you are pitching

recently i have been presenting many

projects to management and i want to

learn how to get

buy-in from key stakeholders so one more

question would be

a question about a situation that's

going on that

everybody has to face so something like

a performance review my performance

review is coming up

what type of preparation do you most

appreciate seeing from your employees

one last situational question that i'll

give you is

i tried to delegate a task last week and

it did not go well

can we work through what to do

differently next time

lastly i'll just give you some questions

about

mentorship specifically that you can ask

that your mentor

so if you're looking to make this an

ongoing relationship i would ask some

questions

such as what do you value in a mentor

and what do you value in a mentee this

is a great way to know what their

expectations are from the jump

you know exactly what they're looking

for and if you cannot provide that of

course

make sure you ballo and you do not

continue to have this relationship

or if their values don't align with

yours make sure you bow out another

question would be

to you what is the value of mentorship

and how do both parties work together to

make it

mutually beneficial you wanted to get to

know as much about this person as

possible before you decide to go

on a second mentorship meeting it's just

like when you have a first date with

someone this is your opportunity to get

to know them

and decide if you want to carry on with

them and after you ask all of these

questions

make sure that you establish if you want

to continue make sure that you establish

how regularly you want to meet so after

you say thank you so much i

like i appreciate your time you then

express

that you would like to make this an

ongoing thing so you can gauge from the

reaction if they also want to make this

an ongoing thing

so i would say something such as thank

you so much for your time

i appreciate every word of wisdom that

you gave me and i'm looking i'm

definitely going to implement these

things into

my life i would love to update you on my

progress with all of these things

so i think this was a great mentorship

meeting and i would love to make this a

recurring meeting

i know you are very busy and i value

your time so would you be willing to

have meetings with the every month or

every two months

if they say yes great this is a great

opportunity you

have a mentor make sure you send them

over that calendar invite as soon as you

can

ask them if they have a preferred day or

a preferred time like if it's fridays at

2 p.m that would be a great time

for you both to meet and you make your

calendar open for them okay

don't try and like say oh i can only

work on these days

try to make your calendar as open for

them as possible because

they're the ones really giving you the

most value however

sometimes they may say no so they may

say

oh i'm so busy or like oh no just feel

free to message me whenever you want

you can ask me anything that you want

anytime or

oh i actually have a lot of mentees

right now and i can't afford to take on

another one at the moment but if you

but you're able to message me anytime

that you want for help

so this is a nice way of saying no

that's fine not everyone has to be your

mentor

but you've made the connection and make

sure you keep that connection it doesn't

have to be a monthly

thing it doesn't have to buy a monthly

thing you can message them quarterly or

yearly or it can only be a one-time

thing it really depends on the

relationship and what went down on

in that meeting so after the mentorship

is done the last thing that i emphasize

and you should all

do is send a thank you note i think this

is something that so many people don't

do

and it makes you stand out when you

actually do send a thank you note

similar to when you have an interview

and you send up a note thanking them for

having an interview with you

send a follow-up note after your

mentorship meeting just

saying thank you so much for meeting

with me i learned a lot during this time

and i'm excited to meet with you

on xyz day even if you're not meeting

with them again

still send a thank you note it is the

least you can do

always express gratitude because they

really didn't have to give up their time

for you i hope these tips were helpful

if you have any other questions about

mentorship leave them in the comment box

below

and let me know what you want to see

next regarding mentorship finance

fashion anything that you want thank you

so much for watching

have a great day everyone bye

[Music]