Biggest ways young people hurt their mental health

Summary

This video highlights the worst mental health mistakes young people make, offering practical tips to combat them. It discusses issues such as hyper-individualism, social media addiction, an external locus of control, pessimism, hookup culture, and avoidance of emotional pain. The speaker emphasizes the importance of interdependence, limiting social media use, fostering an internal locus of control, optimism, and emotional regulation. The video encourages self-reflection and developing healthier coping mechanisms for mental well-being, while also addressing how modern technology and cultural norms exacerbate these challenges.

Takeaways

• 😀 Hyper individualism is a prevalent issue among young people, leading to isolation and a lack of interconnectedness. A quick fix: check in with someone you care about daily.
• 📱 Addiction to social media can lead to mental health struggles like anxiety, depression, and poor self-esteem. Replacing screen time with reading in the evening can help combat this.
• 🔒 The external locus of control, where young people feel things happen to them rather than having control, is linked to depression and helplessness. A quick fix: focus on what you can control using the circle exercise.
• ☹️ Pessimism, often paired with external locus of control, leads to anxiety and poor outcomes. Training yourself to find silver linings in negative situations can boost mental health.
• 💔 Hookup culture can cause emotional distress, anxiety, and insecurity. It's important for individuals to reflect on what they truly want and set clear boundaries.
• 🛑 Avoiding emotional pain exacerbates suffering. Young people often lack emotional regulation skills, which worsens mental health over time. Practicing distress tolerance and emotion regulation skills early is crucial.
• 📉 Social media addiction leads to a wide array of negative outcomes, such as reduced attention span, poor academic performance, and body image issues.
• 🏡 Fatalistic attitudes, like 'My generation will never own a home,' reinforce helplessness. Shifting to an internal locus of control helps navigate financial and life challenges.
• 💡 Understanding interdependence rather than rigid individualism fosters healthier relationships and better mental health.
• 💬 Engaging in regular self-reflection, such as journaling, can help clarify personal boundaries and emotional needs, especially in relation to hookup culture and social norms.

Q & A

What is hyper-individualism, and why is it harmful to mental health?

Hyper-individualism is the belief that individuals are entirely separate from others, focusing solely on their own needs and boundaries without considering the impact on others. It can lead to self-isolation, neglect of interdependence, and poor relationships, which harms mental health.

How can young people combat the negative effects of hyper-individualism?

One way to combat hyper-individualism is by regularly checking in with others and maintaining connectedness. This reinforces interdependence and encourages a more balanced perspective on relationships.

Why is social media addiction problematic for mental health, especially for young people?

Social media addiction can contribute to poor self-esteem, anxiety, depression, loneliness, and worse social skills. It serves as a substitute for real connection, worsening issues like isolation and emotional well-being.

What is a practical tip to reduce social media usage?

Replacing evening screen time with reading can be an effective way to reduce social media usage. This promotes focus, well-being, and healthier habits.

What is an external locus of control, and how does it affect mental health?

An external locus of control is the belief that outside forces control one's life, which leads to feelings of helplessness, depression, and poor coping mechanisms. It limits a person’s ability to take responsibility and make positive changes in their life.

How can someone shift from an external to an internal locus of control?

To shift to an internal locus of control, individuals can make a list of things within and outside of their control. Focusing on what they can influence helps them feel more empowered to act on their own behalf.

What role does pessimism play in mental health issues?

Pessimism is linked to anxiety, depression, hostility, and even poorer physical health. It reinforces negative outcomes and a sense of hopelessness, which worsens mental health conditions.

What is a helpful exercise to combat pessimism?

One exercise to combat pessimism is to identify a silver lining in any negative situation. This trains the mind to find positive aspects even in challenging circumstances.

How does hookup culture negatively impact mental health?

Hookup culture can lead to low self-esteem, emotional distress, attachment insecurity, and anxiety. It often coerces individuals into casual acts of intimacy without recognizing their personal boundaries or needs.

What is the importance of emotion regulation for young people?

Emotion regulation is crucial for mental well-being, as avoiding emotional pain only prolongs suffering. Learning these skills early helps young people cope with life’s inevitable challenges and reduces the impact of emotional distress.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Common Mental Health Mistakes Among Young People

This paragraph discusses the mental health mistakes that young people frequently make, drawing inspiration from Dr. Mike's video on medical mistakes. The speaker mentions that having worked in university counseling and studied college students, they have seen how issues like hyper-individualism harm mental health. They explain that many young people believe their actions don't affect others, leading to self-isolation and disregard for interconnectedness. A simple remedy is to check in with someone daily to maintain connection and balance boundaries with interdependence.

05:02

📱 The Social Media Addiction Problem

The paragraph addresses the growing addiction to social media among young people. This addiction stems from increased isolation caused by hyper-individualism, leading young people to use social media as a substitute for real connections. The author highlights the negative impact, including anxiety, depression, poor social skills, and misinformation. The speaker suggests that reducing social media use in the evenings and replacing it with reading can lead to numerous benefits, citing personal experience.

10:02

🔒 Protecting Personal Information Online

This section introduces a sponsorship from Incog, a service that helps protect personal data from being aggregated by data brokers and sold to third parties. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about privacy concerns when starting their clinical practice, emphasizing the importance of safeguarding sensitive information. Incog offers a solution by handling the removal of personal data from various websites, ensuring continuous protection through recurring removal requests.

💪 Internal vs. External Locus of Control

The paragraph explains the concept of locus of control, distinguishing between internal (belief in one's ability to control their life) and external (belief that external factors dictate outcomes). The speaker argues that young people are increasingly adopting an external locus of control, which leads to feelings of helplessness and discouragement. By focusing on what can be controlled, like financial challenges, individuals can take proactive steps to improve their situation. The speaker recommends an exercise involving drawing a circle to categorize what is within and outside of one’s control.

🌤️ Overcoming Pessimism and Fatalistic Attitudes

This section focuses on pessimism, which is often linked with external locus of control, leading to negative thinking patterns. The speaker explains that pessimism is associated with anxiety, depression, and poor health outcomes. A common example is the belief that younger generations will never own homes. The speaker suggests finding silver linings in negative situations as a practical exercise to cultivate a more optimistic mindset.

💔 Hookup Culture's Impact on Mental Health

The speaker reflects on the negative mental health impacts of participating in hookup culture, particularly for college students. Their dissertation focused on how casual sexual encounters lead to emotional distress, low self-esteem, and social complications. They argue that society often coerces individuals into these behaviors by framing them as empowering when, in fact, they may not align with personal values. A self-reflection journaling exercise is suggested to clarify boundaries and preferences.

🛠️ Avoiding Emotional Pain and Building Resilience

The final paragraph discusses how young people often avoid emotional pain due to a lack of coping skills, which leads to prolonged suffering. The speaker explains the formula ‘pain times resistance equals suffering,’ encouraging young people to face pain head-on rather than avoiding it. They mention that biological factors, such as underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes and heightened hormones, work against young people. However, by practicing emotional regulation skills, like those found in DBT worksheets, they can develop resilience and emotional mastery.

Keywords

💡Hyper-individualism

Hyper-individualism refers to an exaggerated focus on personal independence and self-reliance, often ignoring how interconnected humans are. In the video, it is presented as a harmful mindset in young people, leading to self-isolation and a lack of consideration for how individual actions impact others. This attitude is critiqued as being detrimental to mental health.

💡Social media addiction

Social media addiction is the excessive and compulsive use of social media platforms, which the video associates with various mental health issues like poor self-esteem, anxiety, and loneliness. It is seen as a consequence of hyper-individualism, where young people substitute real-life connections with virtual interactions, leading to further isolation and poorer mental health outcomes.

💡External locus of control

An external locus of control is the belief that external forces, rather than personal actions, determine the outcomes in one's life. In the video, this mindset is linked to helplessness and lower well-being. The speaker encourages young people to shift to an internal locus of control, which promotes personal responsibility and the belief in one’s ability to influence their own future.

💡Pessimism

Pessimism is the tendency to expect the worst possible outcome in any situation. The video discusses how pessimism, especially when combined with an external locus of control, can lead to poor mental health outcomes, such as anxiety and depression. The speaker suggests that reframing situations to find silver linings can help cultivate a more optimistic mindset.

💡Hookup culture

Hookup culture refers to casual sexual relationships without emotional attachment. In the video, the speaker points out that this culture can harm mental health by causing low self-esteem, emotional distress, and depression, especially for young people who feel pressured to conform to it despite their true desires. It suggests self-reflection as a way to navigate and set personal boundaries in this context.

💡Emotion regulation

Emotion regulation involves the ability to manage and respond to emotional experiences in healthy ways. The video highlights how young people often struggle with regulating emotions, particularly because their brain's prefrontal cortex, responsible for impulse control, is not fully developed until age 25. Avoiding emotional pain, rather than addressing it, is described as a common mistake that leads to prolonged suffering.

💡Interdependence

Interdependence refers to the mutual reliance between people, acknowledging that human beings are inherently connected and affect each other. The video contrasts this with hyper-individualism, advocating for maintaining social connections by regularly checking in with others to combat isolation and promote better mental health.

💡Synaptic pruning

Synaptic pruning is a biological process during brain development where excess neural connections are reduced, making remaining connections more efficient. The speaker mentions this in the context of young people’s developing brains, suggesting that this, along with hormonal changes, can impact their mental health and decision-making abilities.

💡Personal boundaries

Personal boundaries are the limits set by individuals to protect their personal space, emotions, and needs. The video critiques the view that boundary-setting can be done in a vacuum, emphasizing that boundaries should be reasonable and consider the needs of others. Unreasonable boundaries, tied to hyper-individualism, can harm relationships and mental health.

💡Distress tolerance

Distress tolerance is the ability to endure and manage emotional pain without resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms. The video argues that many young people avoid emotional pain, which worsens their suffering in the long run. Developing distress tolerance skills, such as through practices like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), is recommended for long-term emotional health.

Highlights

One major mistake young people make is hyper individualism, where they believe they exist separately from others without acknowledging interdependence.

The idea that setting boundaries happens in a vacuum without considering others' reactions is another symptom of hyper individualism.

Avoidant attachment, where dependence on others is seen as unhealthy, is common among young people and is linked to hyper individualism.

A quick tip to combat hyper individualism: check in with someone you care about daily to maintain healthy connectedness.

Another major issue is social media addiction, which arises as a result of isolation and hyper individualism. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and poor self-esteem.

A quick tip to combat social media addiction: replace screen time with reading after dinner, which can improve focus, relationships, and career.

Young people often adopt an external locus of control, believing that outside factors solely determine their lives, which can lead to helplessness and depression.

Switching to an internal locus of control helps young people take action and overcome challenges, despite external circumstances.

Pessimism is another harmful mindset, often paired with an external locus of control, where young people feel doomed to fail in life pursuits like owning a home.

A simple exercise to combat pessimism: identify a silver lining in any negative situation, even if it's small.

Hookup culture harms young people’s mental health by promoting emotional detachment and insecurity, often leading to depression and anxiety.

Reflection and journaling on personal boundaries and desires can help people navigate hookup culture with more confidence and emotional safety.

Avoiding emotional pain, rather than learning distress tolerance, can prolong suffering, as avoiding pain only intensifies it over time.

Young people should focus on emotion regulation skills early, such as through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), to handle pain better and reduce suffering.

Biological factors, such as the undeveloped prefrontal cortex in people under 25, contribute to impulsive behaviors and difficulty with emotional regulation.

Transcripts

what are the worst mistakes that young

people make related to their mental

health shout out to Dr Mike for

inspiring the topic of this video he did

this video topic with the worst health

and medical mistakes that young people

make so I figured why don't I do the

equivalent of that for mental health

because I've worked in a couple of

University counseling centers I did my

dissertation on college students so in

no particular order here are some of the

biggest mistakes I think young people

make that harm their mental health and

also some quickfire tips to combat each

of them

[Music]

one mistake that I think young people

make a lot these days is this attitude

of hyper individualism there's this myth

that's very popular nowadays especially

among young people that we are all very

separate rather than interconnected

we're unable to sort of acknowledge that

that the things we do individually

affect other people in turn and that

other people directly and indirectly

also affect us so for example I think

one way that this shows up in young

people is thinking that setting

boundaries happens in a vacuum that you

can just set whatever boundaries you

want and anything goes because it's your

boundary and you have a right to set any

boundary even ones that are not always

reasonable another way that hyper

individualism shows up in young people

is I think this avoidantly attached

attitude that's super common where any

sort of dependence on another person is

considered unhealthy when in reality we

are all dependent on other people

whether or not we like it and so the

sooner we can acknowledge that and

figure out healthy ways to navigate it

the better off everyone will be both

hyper individualism and Hyper

collectivism are dangerous and I know

that there are definitely cultures out

there that take collectivism to an

extreme and people struggle with that as

well but in the case of hyper

individualism I think some of the

outcomes of that include self-isolation

because you are very much isolating

yourself from other connections and

acknowledgment of interdependence and

also a lack of consideration of how your

actions affect other people as well so

one really quick easy way to combat this

is to check in with someone you care

about every single day just to maintain

that connectedness to maintain that

dependence on each other and acknowledge

that we don't exist in a vacuum and it's

okay to check in with other people

rather than always be thinking about

what's in our best interests second

mistake that I think young people make

related to their mental health is

addiction to social media now how this

relates to hyper individualism is I

think because people are a lot more

individualistic they're a lot loner they

isolate a lot more and when they isolate

a lot more they lean on social media and

Technology as like a proxy for

connection to fill those basic

connection needs that aren't going to go

away no matter how much we stifle them

and I don't think that this is entirely

younger generation's fault because in a

lot of cases it was their parents that

should have set stricter boundaries

around social media usage and now we're

seeing the consequences of what is

called like an iPad kid generation of

people who are are addicted to

technology can't focus don't know how to

socialize and should have been taught

better social media addiction has been

associated with poor self-esteem anxiety

depression body image struggles

loneliness bullying worse social skills

difficulties maintaining attention worse

academic performance misinformation and

conspiracy theories and yet young people

are spending an exorbitant amount of

time on social media every single day

one really effective way to combat this

that I implemented months ago and since

then I have seen countless benefits is

in the evening after dinner instead of

scrolling on my phone or watching

something on Netflix or both at the same

time replacing that time with reading

time it has done wonders for myself for

my career for my relationship highly

recommend it now while we're talking

about the pitfalls of Technology there's

something we need to talk about that

affects all people not just young people

and that is that we live in a world

where it's extremely easy to look up a

person's private information such as

their social security number their name

date of birth phone phone number IP

address financial information home

address and that is where the sponsor of

today's video comes in in cogy so I have

actually been using incog for years so

I'm very excited about the sponsorship

here's the gist of the problem data

Brokers aggregate all your personal

information and then they sell it to

businesses and scammers just last week

nearly 3 billion people's Social

Security numbers were leaked and this is

very scary because it exposes you to

things like scams identity fraud

harassment stalking the concern with the

social security number num in particular

is that people could open loans in your

name which is going to deteriorate your

credit score in addition to being

identity fraud and anytime you get a

notifications from like your bank that

your information was found on the black

market or that your password was leaked

in an online data breach these are the

types of issues that could come up

according to the 2022 annual data breach

report by the identity theft Resource

Center the number of victims for such

crimes increased by

41.5% since the previous year and

another issue here is privacy there are

hundreds if not thousands of these

websites that again aggregate all your

private information for people to find

in one spot let me tell you a little bit

of an anecdote on that topic when I was

setting up my clinical practice I needed

something called an NPI number in order

to apply for an NPI number you need to

have like an address where you're

actually providing the services and

since I was fully remote they wanted me

to put my actual home address on this

database that you can find like two

clicks away where a person lives and I

actually called them to be like hey what

should I do about this I don't feel

comfortable putting my home address

where clients and other people can find

it they were so incredibly rude they had

such an attitude with me and honestly I

got the sense that they probably get

these calls a lot and basically they

just said like not our problem take it

up with your governing body and that is

part of the reason why I left both the

US and the field of therapy because I

was tired of feeling unprotected by the

very people who are supposed to protect

me but incog is a way of taking matters

into your own hands not letting your

protection fall in the hands of somebody

that's not going to do that it would

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sleeping here's how it works you set up

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information stays off the internet so

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annual incog subscription now back to

the video another big mistake that I see

young people make related to their

mental health is what's called an

external locus of control locus of

control is basically what you feel

controls the outcomes in your life

someone who has an internal locus of

control feels like they have the power

to shape their lives whereas someone

with an external locus of control thinks

that things happen to them Outsider

influences affect their trajectory and

they don't really have a lot of power to

make change in their life external locus

of control has been associated with less

willingness to engage in treatment an

inability to take responsibility for a

person's own actions depression

helplessness lower well-being and life

success unhealthier behaviors and poor

coping so it's very concerning that

modern society has convinced young

people to take an external Locust of

control that they don't have any control

over their lives and that young people

now perpetuate that mindset by saying

that it's offensive if you invalidate

this world Feud one example of this that

I see so often is how young people will

often say my generation's never going to

be able to afford a home I understand

that things are financially very tough I

know what that is like but fatalistic

attitudes like this and external locus

of control ironically make it harder to

accomplish those things it's an internal

locus of control that helps you surmount

the very real Financial challenges that

we have and you know to some extent I

think we need to understand where this

is coming from because younger people do

have less control over their lives in a

lot of situations they're still

financially semi-dependent or completely

dependent on their parents they're told

by older Generations that they don't

know anything about life so there is the

sense of like the things that happen to

me are not dictated by me but once again

switching that to an internal locus of

control can help you surmount the very

real challenges that you face in life so

a really quick tip to combat this is in

any situation where you feel helpless or

powerless do this exercise that I

included in the personal growth Journal

where you draw a circle everything

inside the circle are things within your

control jot all of those down everything

outside of the circle are things outside

of your control so jot all of those down

everything you can think of have you

done everything within the circle and

how do you work on accepting everything

outside of the circle really quick way

to reroute okay do I have some options

in this situation if so let me act on

them and are there things that are

outside of my control because if so let

me stop whining about them another

mindset associated with poor mental

health that I think young people in

particular struggle with these days is

pessimism pessimism has been associated

with anxiety depression hostility even

poorer Health outcomes pessimists

literally die younger and I think that

external locus of control and pessimism

worked together taking that same example

of my generation will never own a home

you have the external locus of control

of there's nothing I can do to affect

change in my life paired with the

pessimism of things are going to work

out the worst possible so these two

really go handin hand and one exercise

that I absolutely love that I've been

practicing a lot of is in any negative

situation I try to identify the Silver

Lining associated with it so for example

last week I went to get some paperwork

done and it turned out I didn't have all

the documents that I needed to do that

paperwork and at first it was like man

that's so frustrating we just drove like

40 minutes one way to get to this place

but the Silver Lining was we stopped by

a cute little Decor Boutique on the way

there and we found a couple of items

that I was looking for for the new home

now is the glass always half full no I

don't think that it is but forcing

ourselves to see things that way can

help us come to a place of acceptance

and switch into this optimistic mindset

that's ironically going to get us better

prepared to take action another thing

that young people people really

participate in that I think is harming

their mental health is hookup culture I

did my dissertation on College women's

experiences in hookup culture and I

learned that participating in hookup

culture has been associated with low

self-esteem emotional distress

attachment insecurity social

complications depression anxiety and the

worst part is that by nature of it being

a culture anybody who's not conforming

to that culture is kind of pathologized

and seen as weird for it and so what you

get then is a lot of people who are

basically coerced into these casual acts

of intimacy without realizing that they

have a right to reject them in the first

place they're sold the idea that it's

badass and empowering to objectify and

be objectify that it's crazy or clingy

to expect emotional intimacy or sexual

exclusivity and women in particular are

sold a framework of sexuality that's a

lot more aligned with what men tend to

want than what women tend to say they

want so a tip to combat this is look I'm

not going to say like don't participate

in this if you don't want to but

regardless of whether or not you do

participate in hookup culture I think it

could be helpful to have just like a

moment of self-reflection and do a

journaling prompt to really get clear on

what it is that you want what does and

doesn't work for you what are your

boundaries in the situation and again I

have a lot of such prompts in the

personal growth journal and the last

mistake I'm going to touch on today is

young people in a lot of situations tend

to avoid emotional pain because they're

not really equipped with the emotion

regulation and distress tolerance tools

that comes with experience they haven't

yet learned that avoiding pain will only

augment it I say this constantly but

pain times resistance to pain equals

suffering meaning there's the inevitable

pain of life that we will all experience

and anyone who thinks that there are

people who are devoid of this are wrong

and then there's the resistance to that

pain that we put up the avoidance of

that pain which augments that pain and

transforms it into suffering instead so

for example when I was younger when I

would go through a breakup I didn't know

how to handle the pain and so I would

just avoid it and try to numb it without

realizing that actually that makes

things worse and that prolongs the

healing process now young people do have

some things biologically working against

them here for example their prefrontal

cortex is not developed until age 25

which means you don't have things like

impulse control and executive

functioning working in tiptop shape they

also have synaptic pruning and their

hormones are arai but really my best tip

for getting out ahead of this is to

practice those emotion regulation skills

sooner rather than later whether it be

through what I talk about in the

personal growth journal or things like

the DBT Handbook of worksheet I gained a

lot of emotional Mastery by learning

about DBT and by doing those worksheets

myself cuz again you're going to have to

learn them at some point the longer you

delay the harder your life's going to be

thanks again to en cogy for sponsoring a

portion of today's video don't forget to

check them out below and I'll see you

soon

[Music]