The only Disability in life is a bad attitude | Malvika Iyer | TEDxIIMKozhikode
Summary
TLDRThis inspiring narrative recounts the journey of a young girl who survived a devastating bomb blast at age 13, losing both hands and sustaining severe leg injuries. Despite the physical and emotional trauma, she chose to fight, not surrender. She pursued her education, excelled in her exams, and met the then President of India, Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, who encouraged her spirit. She continued her education, worked with underprivileged children, and became a motivational speaker. She advocates for accessibility in fashion and challenges societal norms of beauty and 'normalcy,' embracing her own strength and resilience.
Takeaways
- 🔥 Start with what you have and never stop, as you don't know your true potential until you're tested.
- 💥 A traumatic event, like a bomb blast, can change one's life, but it's the resilience that defines the future.
- 🩹 Physical injuries and emotional trauma can be overwhelming, but acceptance is the first step towards healing.
- 💪 The decision to fight against adversity can lead to overcoming challenges and achieving success.
- 🏆 Academic achievements, even under difficult circumstances, can be a turning point and a source of inspiration.
- 🤝 Meeting influential figures like a president can provide encouragement and direction for future endeavors.
- 🌟 Working with children and recognizing their unique talents can lead to a realization of one's purpose in life.
- 👨👩👧👦 The support of family and friends is invaluable in overcoming life's challenges and achieving personal goals.
- 🚫 Society's focus on appearance can be limiting, but self-acceptance and happiness are more important than fitting in.
- 🗣️ Speaking about personal experiences can empower others and contribute positively to their lives.
- 👗 Advocating for accessibility in fashion and beyond can help create a more inclusive world for everyone.
Q & A
What significant event occurred in the speaker's life in 2002?
-In 2002, the speaker survived a freak bomb blast caused by a fire in an ammunition depot, which resulted in the loss of her hands and significant damage to her legs.
How did the speaker's daily life change after the accident?
-After the accident, the speaker had to face daily dressing changes due to her leg injuries, experience nerve paralysis and hypoesthesia, and accept the loss of her hands and the disfigurement of her legs.
What was the speaker's mindset while in the hospital?
-The speaker decided to fight and not surrender to her situation, choosing to accept reality and not waste time wishing it to be different.
How did the speaker manage to participate in her 10th board examinations?
-Despite being bedridden, the speaker prepared for her 10th board examinations and wrote them with the help of a writer, dictating her answers and learning diagrams.
What was the impact of the speaker's exam results on her life?
-The speaker's excellent results, including a centum in maths and science, were life-changing, leading to an invitation from Dr. Kalam, the then president of India, to Rashtrapati Bhavan.
What career path did the speaker choose after her interaction with Dr. Kalam?
-Inspired by Dr. Kalam, the speaker pursued a graduation degree in economics from St. Stephen's and later a master's in Social Work from the Delhi School of Social Work.
How did the speaker's work with children influence her perspective on life?
-Working with children, especially those with disabilities, made the speaker realize their unique capabilities and talents, leading her to understand the importance of recognizing and nurturing potential.
What role did the speaker's mother play in her journey?
-The speaker's mother was a pillar of strength, always supportive and encouraging her to take on challenges, which was crucial in the speaker's healing and success.
How does the speaker view her disability and its impact on her life?
-The speaker sees her disability as a superpower rather than a hindrance, and she has learned to accept herself and be happy, despite societal pressures to conform to certain beauty standards.
What message does the speaker convey about facing challenges and moving forward?
-The speaker emphasizes the importance of accepting oneself and one's circumstances, and not giving up in the face of challenges. She encourages others to walk into uncharted territory with confidence and joy.
How does the speaker advocate for accessibility and inclusivity in fashion?
-The speaker participated as a showstopper in a fashion show promoting accessibility, wearing specially designed gowns that she could put on independently, highlighting the need for fashion to be inclusive for all, including differently-abled individuals.
Outlines
💪 Overcoming Adversity: A Journey of Resilience
The speaker recounts a life-changing event in 2002 when, at the age of 13, they survived a bomb blast that resulted in the loss of their hands and severe leg injuries. Despite the physical and emotional trauma, they chose to fight rather than surrender. With unwavering determination, they prepared for their 10th-grade board exams while bedridden, using a writer's assistance due to their injuries. Their hard work paid off when they achieved top results in the state, including a perfect score in math and science. This success caught the attention of Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, then President of India, who invited them to Rashtrapati Bhavan. The speaker's achievements and subsequent meeting with the president marked a pivotal moment in their life, inspiring them to continue striving for excellence. They pursued higher education, focusing on social work and children's rights, and eventually realized their purpose was to give back to society, helping others recognize their potential.
👨👩👧👦 Support and Acceptance: The Role of Family and Self-Love
The speaker emphasizes the critical role of their mother's strength and support, along with their family and friends, in their journey to overcome physical challenges and societal expectations. They reflect on the initial struggles, such as the difficulty of climbing stairs, and how they learned to accept their new reality. The speaker also discusses the societal emphasis on beauty and the pressure to conform, but they chose to embrace their identity and disability. They recount their decision to speak openly about their experiences, which empowered them and others. The speaker's philosophy is that a positive attitude is essential, and they view their disability as a superpower rather than a hindrance. They share their experience of walking the ramp as a showstopper, advocating for fashion accessibility for differently-abled individuals, and their belief in the importance of self-acceptance and moving forward in life.
🌟 Embracing Life's Challenges: The Power of Positivity
The speaker concludes by expressing gratitude for the life-altering accident, which they believe has made their life incredibly meaningful. They stress the importance of self-acceptance and moving on from past traumas, rather than being consumed by questions of 'why me?' They encourage embracing life's challenges with a positive attitude and a spirit of adventure. The speaker shares their personal philosophy that life's narrative is full of unexpected stops and starts, and the key is to continue living and adapting. They inspire listeners to cherish their spirit and to face life's uncharted territories with confidence and joy.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Resilience
💡Acceptance
💡Adversity
💡Perseverance
💡Self-Acceptance
💡Invisible Thread
💡Disability
💡Support System
💡Education
💡Advocacy
💡Challenges
Highlights
Starting with fear, pain, and doubt is a powerful call to action for overcoming adversity.
The importance of starting where you are, despite the challenges.
Surviving a bomb blast at the age of 13 and the resilience to move forward.
The physical and emotional trauma of losing both hands and dealing with leg injuries.
The decision to fight against the odds and not surrender to disability.
Preparing for board exams while bedridden and the determination to not waste a year.
Achieving top results in state exams despite the challenges.
The inspirational meeting with Dr. Kalam, the then president of India.
The pursuit of higher education at St. Stephen's and Delhi School of Social Work.
The realization of the unique capabilities and talents in every child, especially those with disabilities.
The decision to give back to society by helping others discover their potential.
The support from family and friends as a pillar of strength throughout the journey.
The personal struggle and the belief in one's ability to achieve despite physical limitations.
The acceptance of one's body and the rejection of societal beauty standards.
The empowerment of speaking about one's fears and disability to gain strength.
The concept of success being measured by the positive influence on others' lives.
The advocacy for fashion and accessibility for differently-abled individuals.
The message of accepting oneself and moving on as a path to a beautiful journey.
The importance of not giving up and facing challenges with a positive attitude.
The narrative of life with trauma, and the resilience to continue despite interruptions.
Transcripts
start now start where you are
with fear start with pain start with
doubt start with hands shaking start
with voice trembling but start start
with what you have start and never stop
because you never know what you are made
of until you're tested on a warm summer
afternoon in 2002 a deafening sound
completely knocked me out yes I survived
a freak bomb blast it was caused by a
fire in an ammunition depot I was 13
years old at that time the explosion had
ripped my hands off but more than the
damage to my hands there was a lot of
damage to my legs for three months my
legs were cut open
there were splinters everywhere and they
needed to be cleaned every day so every
day dressing it was a gory sight the
pain was excruciating
I had nerve paralysis in my right leg
and hypo stayshia which is loss of
sensation in my left leg the emotional
trauma of accepting the loss of both my
hands and the disfiguration of both my
legs and the fact that I have to accept
and have to live with this kind of
bodily limitation was extreme as a child
I aged in extracurricular activities I
was a trained Kathak dancer in fact but
there I was bedridden in the hospital
hoping against hope that I would somehow
come out of the drama
one day on the hospital bed I thought to
myself reality may not be what you want
it to be but it is the reality you must
now face you can deny this reality and
try to wish it away or you can accept it
and not waste any time wanting it to be
any different so that night on the
hospital bed I thought to myself that I
had only two choices from their fight
and I Will Survive surrender and I will
be wiped out I decided to fight
my wounds refused to heal but I did I
was bedridden and all my classmates
everyone had started preparing for their
10th board examinations and I have
thought to myself that why not give it a
throttle I knew that no school would
admit me with this three months to go
for the board exams but I was determined
that I had to ride I did not want to
waste any year I was just determined to
write the exams I prepared and prepared
and on crutches I wrote my exams with
the help of a writer three months of
preparation learning mathematics
learning diagrams dictating calculus
dictating extreme biology diagrams it
was a challenge it was a very big
challenge but I wanted to do it and I
did it the day my result came I think it
was a life-changing moment I was one
among the state toppers I wish for the
centum in maths and science and I think
that probably that result I mean if I
still look back to that moment that
result completely changed my life but I
didn't know that the writer was also so
intelligent so my achievements were
covered in a lot of newspapers and dr.
Kalam the then president read about me
and invited me to rashtrapati bhavan it
was a divine moment to meet him to
receive appreciation from him he
congratulated me he asked about my
future plans and he said that he is
amazed that such a small I was a
teenager and you know at that age you
have such high spirits and he
congratulated me and he wished me that
you must go very far from here I took
that I took all of the encouragement he
gave me and I wanted to strive for the
best I decided to do my graduation in
st. Stephen's I pursued a graduation
degree in economics and then I continued
to do my masters in Delhi School of
Social Work when I was doing my Master's
I worked with a lot of different liberal
children especially a lot of children
and that's when I realized that each one
is so unique in their kind they have
such amazing
they have such amazing capability such
amazing talent and it has to be it has
to be seen it this the way I was
included is the way someone found out
that what I am built off they also
needed someone was there someone had to
find out what they were made of and
that's when I realized that it is my
time to give back what I received it's
my time to give it back so this is how
the healing happened but I think this
would have been incomplete without the
strength and the support of my mother
who is a pillar of strength she's been
like a shadow
throughout never giving up on me and
always in for any adventure no matter
what she's always saying yes and I had a
lot of support of my family and friends
and I believe that then I they never let
me down and I feel that that was the
biggest that was the biggest gift they
could ever give me I really struggled to
reach where I am today I never planned
any of it I didn't knew I didn't know
that I this is how my life is going to
be or this is how I am going to this is
what is going to become of me nobody
knew I decided to only focus on my
studies and just take one day at a time
I still remember when I was just
pursuing my 10th standard the biggest
challenge at that time was to be able to
climb staircase so it has really taken
me a long way I have also felt that this
accident took away a lot from me
it took my ability to walk it took my
ability to do a lot of things with my
hands I mean if you all look close your
hands both your hands and clenched it in
a tight fist like how you punch someone
both your hands that is my reality
I mean imagine doing imagine writing
with it imagine holding a spoon with it
imagine applying a Kajal with it
everything so that was my reality I
didn't know that I was ever going to be
able to do something but here I am and
I'm I have always believed that there is
an invisible thread that connects us to
what we are destined to achieve the
thread may sometimes
it may even stretch but it never breaks
I feel that this accident has given me a
second life I lost 80 percent blood I
was going to die that day my doctors had
said they had told that I had lost my BP
was zero and it was just a gory side but
I just loved how my life has turned out
to be I have never felt bad for the way
my body is the society we live in
attributes a lot of importance to beauty
more than once education or career one
is always focused into a competition to
become most beautiful you have to look
your best at all times
fairness products perfect makeups
everything but I have learned to accept
myself and be happy in a society like
this but I do remember that when I was
in college I try to camouflage my
disability I try to wear full sleeves I
try to shy away from shaking hands and
then I realized that what am i doing
this is not my reality this is not if I
am just trying to be too normal and what
is normal what is the definition of
normal who defines normal actually I
just knew that this was not helping me
to trying to be someone who I was not
then one day I decided to step out and
talk about what happened to me to speak
my fears I learned that going out and
talking to people gives you that amazing
strength and courage to move on and I
think that's what it gave me and thus I
began my journey as a speaker I once
read somewhere that a measure of one's
success is the degree of positive
influence that you have on someone
else's life as well as your own I
immediately recollected the male's I had
received from people they used to write
to me saying that they had stopped
complaining that they stopped blaming
that they started hoping they started
living that to me was my proudest moment
ever
as Scott Hamilton rightly said the only
disability in life is a bad attitude so
going by this definition I don't think I
have a disability I feel this is my
superpower
my legs still hurt when I walk and I
have to really convince my mind that I
have to take those hipster steps I have
to walk because I have to have to
continue whatever I am doing but that's
not all when I was bedridden in the
hospital one day the doctors declared
that this girl is never going to be able
to walk again but was I to believe them
never I walk the ramp last year as in a
showstopper gown to promote
accessibility and so why should fashion
be only for the so-called normal people
why not for differently-abled as well so
that was the whole campaign and they
designed these lovely gowns one was a
beautiful Maharani pink and red gown and
the other was a Spanish frill down and
it was accessible so that I could wear
it on my own because how many shops do
you go and you can just say that I am
someone with artificial hands and I need
to buy a gown I have never really seen a
place like that so this is what I am
advocating for fashion and accessibility
so this is for people by fashion is for
everyone everyone wants to look good so
it really does not matter whether you
have a perfect body or whether you have
it's your definition what is perfect it
is all your definition the accident was
a terrible experience but sometimes I
thank God it happened because I don't
think my life would have been as
incredible as it is today wherever you
are
accept yourself and move on from there I
believe it is the Y questions that kill
people from inside if I had started
questioning why this accident happened
to me why me why I had to go through all
this I would probably have spent my life
chasing these questions in vain the
moment you accept yourself what has
happened to you I believe the road ahead
opens up the fog clears and it's a
beautiful journey from there on places
people and
enhance enlighten and enthrall you so
never give up why should you give up I
believe I have reasons to give up
everyday even now it was a strenuous
task to walk every day is a challenge
every day you have I know big or small
is it everyday you all face challenges
but why give up walk into that uncharted
territory with your head held high and a
heart full of joy I believe that we are
all gifted with that spirit and that
spirit is what we should always always
nurture always always cherish some
people's life seem to flow in a
narrative mine had many stops and starts
that is what trauma does it interrupts
the plot you can't process it because it
doesn't fit with what came before or
what comes afterwards it just happens
and then life goes on no one prepares
you for it
you just live
you
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