Navigating life as a third culture kid | Vicky Schdeva | TEDxYouth@ISPrague
Summary
TLDRThe transcript explores the experiences of third culture kids—individuals raised in multiple cultural environments. It discusses the challenges of answering the seemingly simple question 'Where are you from?' due to their complex identities, shaped by diverse cultures. The narrator highlights benefits like adaptability, open-mindedness, and intercultural skills, but also addresses challenges such as feeling misunderstood, cultural confusion, and the need to adapt or 'lie' to fit in. The transcript calls for greater understanding and empathy toward third culture kids, recognizing both their strengths and the isolation they sometimes face.
Takeaways
- 🌍 The question 'Where are you from?' can be simple for some, but complex for others, especially third culture kids.
- 👫 Third culture kids (TCKs) are individuals who have been raised in multiple cultures and struggle to identify with just one.
- 🔍 TCKs develop unique intercultural and interpersonal skills due to their exposure to various cultures, making them adaptable and open-minded.
- 💬 Despite the benefits of being a TCK, they often face the challenge of being misunderstood and people simplifying their identity to just one culture.
- 🤔 TCKs grapple with identity confusion when asked which culture they identify with most, as their deep cultural identity is a blend of multiple influences.
- 🏞 The concept of the 'cultural iceberg' highlights that surface culture (language, customs) is easy to spot, but deep culture (values, beliefs) shapes a person's personality significantly.
- 🎭 Many TCKs adopt a 'chameleon' strategy, adjusting their identity and appearance to fit different situations, sometimes resorting to lies to simplify interactions.
- 📊 The experience of being a TCK shapes behavior, making it challenging to navigate family expectations, authority, and friendships.
- 💔 While TCKs may seem to easily adapt and make friends, they often experience deep attachment and loss due to the transient nature of their relationships.
- 🔄 TCKs often feel isolated despite their many benefits, and society needs to understand and accommodate their complex identities.
Q & A
What is a third culture kid (TCK)?
-A third culture kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of their developmental years in a culture different from their parents' culture, leading them to build relationships with multiple cultures. This concept was coined by American sociologists Pollock and Van Reken.
What are some common examples of third culture kids?
-Common examples of third culture kids include children of expatriates, missionaries, diplomats, immigrants, and those born into cross-cultural marriages.
What are the advantages of being a third culture kid?
-The advantages of being a third culture kid include being adaptive, easily crossing and changing cultures, developing excellent interpersonal and intercultural skills, being open-minded, and living in the moment.
What is the 'culture iceberg' concept, and how does it relate to TCKs?
-The 'culture iceberg' concept, created by Dr. Robert Kohls, illustrates that culture is more than just visible customs and traditions; it deeply influences beliefs and values. For TCKs, their deep cultural experiences shape their personalities and worldview, making it difficult for others to understand their full identity based on surface-level cultural traits.
What challenges do third culture kids face in their daily lives?
-Third culture kids often face challenges such as being misunderstood by others, having their multicultural identity reduced to a single culture, difficulty answering questions like 'Where are you from?', and struggling with cultural identity.
How do third culture kids typically respond to questions about their cultural identity?
-Third culture kids often feel confused or uncertain when asked about their cultural identity. They may adapt their answers based on the situation, sometimes oversimplifying or even lying to fit others' expectations and avoid lengthy explanations.
What is the concept of a 'cultural chameleon' in the context of TCKs?
-A 'cultural chameleon' refers to a TCK's ability to switch languages, behaviors, and appearances to blend into different cultural environments. While this skill helps them adapt, it can also lead to identity struggles and a sense of not fully belonging to any culture.
How does being a TCK affect relationships and friendships?
-TCKs may develop unique approaches to relationships, such as easily making friends due to their adaptability but also becoming deeply attached, leading to difficulties when friendships end. Their multicultural background can influence how they interact with friends and authority figures.
What are some examples of famous people who were third culture kids?
-Famous examples of third culture kids include Barack Obama (half Kenyan, half American), Uma Thurman (born in Mexico to a German father and Swedish mother), and Freddie Mercury (born in Tanzania, grew up in India and the UK).
How does society typically interact with third culture kids, and what could be improved?
-Society often struggles to understand the complex identities of TCKs, leading to oversimplified views of their cultural backgrounds. To improve interaction, society could focus on recognizing and appreciating the full depth of TCKs' multicultural experiences and identities.
Outlines
🌍 The Concept of Third Culture Kids
The paragraph introduces the concept of third culture kids (TCKs) and explains the complexity of answering the question 'Where are you from?' for individuals with multicultural backgrounds. It mentions the definition coined by sociologists Poock and Van Reen in the 1990s, which describes TCKs as individuals who build relationships across various cultures. The benefits of being a TCK, such as adaptability, cultural crossover, openness, and living in the moment, are highlighted. Examples of famous TCKs include Barack Obama, Uma Thurman, and Freddie Mercury. The author also shares their personal story of being half Russian, half Indian, and living in the Czech Republic, emphasizing the challenges of explaining their cultural identity.
🧠 Cognitive Misers and Cultural Complexity
This paragraph discusses the difficulty people have in accepting complex, multi-faceted answers about cultural identity. It introduces the concept of 'cognitive misers,' who prefer simple answers to save mental effort. The author uses their own experiences to illustrate how people often try to fit them into a single cultural category, despite their multifaceted identity. The cultural iceberg model by Dr. Robert Call is introduced to explain how surface culture is visible, but deep culture significantly shapes beliefs and values. The author shares personal examples of how their Russian and Indian cultures influence their behavior and interactions, particularly in forming friendships and dealing with authority.
🦎 The Chameleon Strategy
The paragraph explores the adaptive behavior of TCKs, who often lie or change their identity to fit in with different environments. The author admits to frequently lying about their cultural background to avoid lengthy explanations and to feel safer. This adaptive behavior is compared to a chameleon changing its skin. The author acknowledges that this might lead to a lack of cohesion in their multicultural identity, as they prioritize fitting in over maintaining a consistent self-identity. The paragraph concludes by highlighting this as a significant disadvantage of being a TCK, despite the previously mentioned benefits.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Third Culture Kid (TCK)
💡Multicultural Identity
💡Cognitive Miser
💡Cultural Iceberg
💡Adaptability
💡Chameleon Strategy
💡Open-mindedness
💡Living in the Moment
💡Cultural Misunderstanding
💡Intercultural Skills
Highlights
Third culture kids often face the challenge of answering the simple question 'Where are you from?' due to their diverse cultural backgrounds.
A third culture kid builds relationships with multiple cultures and develops a unique identity shaped by all the cultures they’ve lived in.
Third culture kids are highly adaptive, able to fit into different cultural settings and accept a wide range of values and behaviors.
They tend to develop excellent interpersonal and intercultural skills, allowing them to navigate cross-cultural interactions with ease.
Third culture kids often live in the moment, realizing that their circumstances may frequently change due to global mobility.
Famous examples of third culture kids include Barack Obama, Uma Thurman, and Freddie Mercury, each of whom had multicultural upbringings.
The cultural iceberg model highlights that surface culture (visible aspects) only scratches the surface of one’s deep cultural identity (beliefs, values).
Third culture kids may struggle to communicate effectively with family members from different cultural backgrounds, creating internal conflicts about how to act.
Cognitive misers, or people who prefer simple conclusions, may try to reduce a third culture kid’s identity to just one culture, which oversimplifies their multicultural experiences.
Third culture kids often lie or adjust their identity in social situations to fit in, becoming cultural chameleons as a result of external pressures.
This chameleon-like behavior may lead to difficulties in fully embracing all aspects of their multicultural identities.
Third culture kids may experience isolation, as people around them fail to understand their multicultural complexities.
Despite facing challenges, third culture kids benefit from their experiences by being open-minded, adaptable, and more global in their worldview.
Cultural adaptability is a double-edged sword: it allows third culture kids to navigate multiple worlds, but it may also prevent them from feeling fully grounded in any single culture.
Society should take into account the uniqueness of third culture kids and work toward better understanding and supporting their multifaceted identities.
Transcripts
where are you from how do you think
about this question I think it is a
pretty simple question made out of four
words only where are you
from most people can answer by using
just few words for
example
samesa nevertheless there are people in
this world who have to use more than
just use simple words to answer for
example me I have to use at least 12
words to answer I'm half Russian half
Indian and I live in Czech
Republic given that our world is getting
more globalized there are millions of
kids like me who have to use more than
just few simple words to answer those
kids are known as third culture kids in
1990s American sociologists poock and
Van Reen had coined a definition which
is used up to now according to it a
third culture kid is a person who builds
relationships to all of the cultures
that he or she lived in there are many
the culture kids in this
world uh for some common examples are
missionary kids Children of expatriates
children born in cross-culture marriages
or children of
immigrants from their research poock and
vanreen had found out that many benefits
of being a third culture kid first of
all they're very adaptive meaning think
we are successful at fitting in because
we are able to accept and understand
many of the core values that drive the
behavior in the culture secondly we can
cross and change cultures easily meaning
because we are adaptive and have
combined knowledge about other cultures
we develop excellent interpersonal and
Intercultural skills thirdly we're
extremely openmed as we are raised in
foreign cultures we get to learn a lot
of diverse values attitudes behaviors
and expectations this helps us to expand
our worldview and last but not the least
we live in the
moment given that every day we experienc
sense of urgency because we realize that
the moment will not last for long and
would be replaced by something new to
come we attempt to live in the
moment as I said there are many th
culture kids in this world they're
politicians and celebrities used to be
thir culture kids some now they're known
as adult culture kids some common
examples being Barack Obama who's half
Kenyan half Kenyan and half American or
um Thurman who was born in Mexico to
German father and a Swedish mother or
Freddy Mercury who was born in Tanzania
grew up in India and then in United
Kingdom as you might have understood
there are many benefits of being a third
culture kid but there's still one thing
that bothers me is it actually an
advantage to be a third culture kid or
let's put it in the other way what are
disadvantages to being a third culture
kid to answer this question let me first
of all tell you my story I was born to
my Indian mother father and Russian
mother in Moscow when I was 8 years old
my parents decided to move to the Czech
Republic and since then we have lived in
PR it has been over 10 years that I live
here this story is pretty simple isn't
it but whenever share dist with people
it seems to be complicated to them they
tend to find it
confusing so what usually happens then
they try to find out which culture out
of all three of them is the most
important for me let me give you an
example once I was on this trip and I
met this lovely person Maria she was
sweet and was really lot of fun to
chatter with her well until this
question popped up where are you from
whenever I hear this simple question
made out of four words only I usually
freeze and start thinking okay I was
born in Moscow hence I'm Russian but
wait my father is Indian am I Indian too
am I actually an Indian if I live here
in Prague maybe I'm check yeah I'm chck
I grew up here right but wait Russian is
my mother tongue and I don't even spe
check so correctly am I then Russian but
if I'm Russian why do I speak in
different languages to my parents why do
I speak in English to my father I'm
confused
confed at the end I was not exactly sure
how to answer to Maria so I chose the
easier way I just simply told her all my
thoughts and
evaluations she was definitely confused
at the beginning
seriously but then she gaed her
confidence and told me seriously that I
should be check because I live in Czech
Republic situations like this make me
always wonder could be there's some
reason why people in general find it
hard to accept a multiple answer instead
of one single answer well I think one of
the reason is because we are all
cognitive misers meaning we don't want
to waste time and energy thinking a lot
so we make reductionist and simple
conclusions about the phenomena so
instead of analyzing my multiculture
identity which is made out of three
cultures Maria chose an easier way she
tried to identify me just to one
culture this is the first limitation of
being a third culture kid people do not
understand my multiculture identity and
they try to identify me just to one
culture I meet cognitive misers like
Maria on daily basis literally on daily
basis and there's one question that
tends to be popular among them and that
is which culture do you identify with
more here's the question for you do you
think that for third cult a kid it is
easy to answer this
question well before you consider it let
me show you this this is the culture
iceberg that was constructed by cross
cultural trainer and consultant Dr
Robert call according to it people
around us see have a surface culture but
rarely they get to understand and accept
our deep culture the main idea behind
this illustration is that it shows the
importance of culture not just in
shaping our customs and traditions but
as well in shaping our beliefs and
values
meaning the culture strongly affects the
way personality develops in the way we
view world around us taking in account
this think about their culture kids how
would their personality develop
considering that they're exposed not
just to one culture but to many of them
well in my case I've noticed that all my
cultures have affected the way social
with friends communicate with authority
or how I simply stand up for
myself my friends might have noticed
this but there's something really funny
about me making your friends if I make a
friend I believe this friendship is
forever I might know the person for a
few days if not hours but I believe that
we will become best friends forever
innocent right but why is it so well I
think it's because of my Russian culture
I've notice there's no common Trend in
Russia
here takes the leave my Indian culture
because of it I believe I'm socially
Brave person and I can easily make a lot
of friends but because of my Russian
culture I get very easily attached to my
friends and it's painful for me to lose
them and that example which I personally
consider to be the most
important is that children in India are
supposed to be respectful towards their
parents and in the way they should be
submissive while children in Russia tend
to be more independent
and slly
rebellious because of these two cultures
I find it difficult to communicate with
my own
families sometimes I seen as being too
independent too rebellious and sometimes
I seen as being too submissive too
respectful so I really don't not know
which standards should I follow even
when communicating with my own
families this is one of my biggest
dilemas for me to resolve when it comes
to the point that I should argue with
someone who is older than me and has
some sort of authority I then to turn on
to the Indian submissive side of me not
the Russian and I think this could be
the reason why sometimes it is really
hard for me to get on my confidence and
tell the people what I feel and what I
really think and I think this could be
the reason why it's hard for me
sometimes to stand up for
myself these are just examples of my
daily Behavior which I believe are
strongly affected by the cultures
present in my life I personally consider
cultureal Iceberg to be an important
concept because it emphasizes the Point
why I personally cannot identify myself
just with one culture people might think
that I'm Russian czeck Indian based on
the surface culture but trust me rarely
and actually never in my case they
understand that real me here inside me
is actually the mix of my cultures which
lay in the Deep culture so coming back
to the question do you think that for
thir Goa kid it is easy to answer this
question well in most cases it's not
this is the second limitation of being a
third culture kid people do not
understand that our Multicultural
experiences do not teach us just a new
language or New Traditions it shapes and
changes our personality and the way we
view world around
us one thing that I really learned from
being a third culture kid is that I
understand that people usually do not
understand
me this concept made my life easier you
want to know how well I'll I'll tell you
I learned to
lie I learned to change my identity and
appearance according to the
situation I learned to tell people what
they want me to tell them I learned to
be a
chameleon well never people would ask me
that simple question where are you from
my answer would usually vary according
to the
situation usually Li lie to people
simply because I just feel tired to to
explain a lot so I will tell them that I
originate only from one country because
that is what they want me to tell them
that is why most people think I'm
Russian another time when I tend to lie
it's when I meet someone who really does
not like one culture or another so if I
meet someone who really doesn't like
Russia I tend to tell people that I'm
Indian if someone really doesn't like
India I will tell the person that I'm
cck in a way I should be ashamed of it
at least I think so I don't know what
you think but that's the way I am I
change my behavior I Chang my identity
because it makes my life easier and
because it makes me feel
safe same as chameleon which changed
skin in order to protect
itself well surprisingly I found out
that I was not the only one who tend to
tells lies apparently thir culture kids
develop a skill of being a culture
chameleon meaning that they can switch
language and appearance in in order just
to fit better into the
environment although this might sound
funny that a kid can become a lizard
this is actually a third limitation of
being the culture kid because people do
not understand us we lie and because we
lie we become
chameleons by following this strategy
the chameleon strategy we may actually
never learn how to maintain all our
multiculture identities together so it's
not
good well so here we are
these are the three disadvantages of
being a third culture kid at least these
are disadvantages which I personally
consider to be the most important at
least for me people might think that I'm
Russian Indian Czech but they never
understand that this are the
disadvantages which I have as being a
third culture kid although as you'll
heard before that tur culture kids have
many benefits such as being open-minded
being adaptive and living in the moment
and to be quite honest when I found out
that I'm a thir K I was very happy
although I had a feeling that I do not
belong to any of the countries I knew
that there are many more kids like me so
I belong at least with them nevertheless
because people do not understand me it
makes me feel sometimes isolated and I
would wish that people would know this
instead of knowing how many benefits I
have so now let's think how should we as
a society interact with third culture
kids considering their uniqueness thank
you
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)