WHY ARE FRIENDSHIPS SO FLUID ? - My thoughts on American Friendship as a Single Woman

Catholic Katherine

6 Oct 202208:54

Summary

TLDRIn this video, Catherine reflects on the transient nature of American friendships, influenced by factors like social media and life changes. She discusses how friendships can be easily formed and lost, especially in a society where people frequently move and change social circles. Catherine shares her personal experiences, including losing touch with friends during the pandemic and the impact of social media on maintaining relationships. She encourages viewers to cultivate meaningful friendships while accepting the natural ebb and flow of social connections.

Takeaways

🌐 The video discusses the nature of American friendships, particularly in a transient area like North Jersey.
🏡 People often move away after living in a place for a few years, which affects the longevity of friendships.
🤔 The speaker reflects on how friendships evolve from childhood through college and into the workforce, noting the ease of making and losing friends.
😲 The pandemic has led to the loss of some friendships, with people drifting apart due to differing views on safety measures.
💬 Social media plays a significant role in maintaining friendships, but it also makes it easy to lose touch with people.
💍 The speaker was surprised not to be invited to a close friend's wedding, leading to a reevaluation of what constitutes a 'true' friend.
🤝 True friendships are rare and can withstand major life changes, whereas more casual friendships may not.
👥 As people go through life, their social circles change, with friends coming and going based on life stages and circumstances.
📱 The ease of making friends is contrasted with the ease of losing them, suggesting a 'cheap' nature to some American friendships.
🌱 The video serves as a call to action to cultivate friendships, while also acknowledging that it's okay for some friendships to end.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Catherine's video?
-The main topic of Catherine's video is her observation on American friendship and her perspective on how it can be perceived as 'cheap'.
Why does Catherine describe American friendships as 'cheap'?
-Catherine describes American friendships as 'cheap' because she believes they are easily formed and just as easily lost, often due to life changes or lack of communication.
What is Catherine's geographical context for her observations?
-Catherine lives in North Jersey near the city, which she describes as a transient area where people often move in and out, influencing her view on friendships.
How does Catherine reflect on her friendships during the pandemic?
-Catherine mentions losing a significant number of friends during the pandemic, including a close college friend whose wedding she was surprised to miss, leading her to question the depth of their friendship.
What role does social media play in Catherine's perception of friendships?
-Catherine discusses how social media can lead to both the formation and dissolution of friendships easily, as it provides a superficial level of connection without the need for deeper engagement.
How does Catherine feel about the ease of losing friendships?
-Catherine expresses that it's sad how easily friendships can be lost, but she also acknowledges that it's a part of modern life and that the barrier to both making and losing friends is wide.
What does Catherine suggest about the rarity of true friendships?
-Catherine suggests that true friendships are rare and can stand the test of time, even through significant life changes, referencing Father Mike Schmidt's discussion on the topic.
How does Catherine's marital status affect her friendships?
-As a single unmarried person, Catherine notes that most of her friends are also single, and she suggests that life-altering changes like marriage and having children can lead to losing friends.
What advice does Catherine give about cultivating friendships?
-Catherine encourages viewers to actively cultivate their friendships, but also to accept that some friendships may naturally end, and that's okay.
What is Catherine's call to action at the end of her video?
-Catherine's call to action is for viewers to seriously reach out to someone they want to be friends with and invite them for a drink or coffee, especially if they are single.
How does Catherine view the constant change in friendships?
-Catherine views the constant change in friendships as a natural part of life, especially for single people, and she encourages acceptance of this fluidity.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Observations on the Transience of American Friendships

Catherine begins the video by expressing her excitement to discuss her observations on American friendships, which she perceives as 'cheap'. She acknowledges the limitations of her perspective, being based on her experiences living in North Jersey, a transient area. She reflects on how friendships are formed throughout life, from childhood to college and the workforce, where age diversity becomes more common. Catherine shares her personal experience of losing friends during the pandemic, especially one close friend whose wedding she was surprised to miss. She questions the depth of friendships maintained through social media and the ease with which they can be lost, suggesting that the barriers to both forming and losing friendships are low. She concludes by contemplating the impact of life changes on friendships and the rarity of true, enduring friendships.

05:01

📈 The Ebb and Flow of Friendships Over Time

In the second paragraph, Catherine delves deeper into the dynamics of friendships, using her own life as an example. She discusses how friendships can be lost and gained over time, especially with significant life events like moving or changing jobs. She acknowledges the effort required to maintain friendships and the role social media plays in both connecting and disconnecting people. Catherine suggests that the transient nature of friendships might be more pronounced among singles, who may experience more frequent changes in their social circles compared to those who are married or have families. She encourages viewers to cultivate their friendships but also to accept the natural ebb and flow of these relationships. She ends by inviting viewers to share their thoughts on American friendships and their personal experiences with the constant change in their social lives.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡American friendship

American friendship, as discussed in the video, refers to the nature of friendships in the United States, characterized by their perceived transience and ease of formation and dissolution. The video suggests that American friendships can be 'cheap' in the sense that they are easily made and just as easily lost, often influenced by life changes and geographical movements. This is exemplified by the narrator's experience of losing touch with friends during the pandemic and moving to a new city.

💡Transient area

A transient area is a region where people tend to stay for short periods before moving on. In the context of the video, the narrator mentions living in North Jersey, a place where people often come and go, which influences the temporary nature of friendships. This setting is used to illustrate how friendships can be affected by the transient lifestyle of individuals.

💡Social media

Social media is a collective term for websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or participate in social networking. The video discusses how social media has changed the dynamics of friendships, making it easier to maintain connections superficially through platforms like Instagram but potentially leading to a lack of deep, personal relationships. The narrator reflects on whether being connected through social media equates to being genuine friends.

💡Life-altering changes

Life-altering changes refer to significant events or transitions in a person's life that can drastically change their circumstances and relationships. In the video, the narrator mentions that such changes, like getting married or having children, often lead to the loss of friendships as people's priorities and social circles shift. This concept is used to explain why some friendships are not sustained over time.

💡Cultivate friendships

To cultivate friendships means to actively nurture and develop them. The video encourages viewers to make an effort to cultivate their friendships, suggesting that while friendships may come and go, it's important to actively invest in those that hold value. The narrator shares personal anecdotes about reaching out to potential friends and the importance of maintaining these connections.

💡Barrier to entry

The barrier to entry in the context of the video refers to the ease with which one can become friends with someone. The narrator suggests that the barrier to entry for friendships is wide, meaning it's relatively easy to make new friends. However, this ease of entry also implies an ease of exit, where friendships can be lost just as simply.

💡True friendships

True friendships are deep, enduring relationships that withstand the test of time and significant life changes. The video contrasts the concept of 'cheap' friendships with that of true friendships, which are rare but remain strong regardless of life's transitions. The narrator reflects on the value of such friendships and how they differ from more casual acquaintances.

💡Loneliness

Loneliness is a feeling of sadness or emptiness due to a lack of close relationships. The video touches on the theme of loneliness in relation to the transient nature of friendships. The narrator suggests that the constant cycle of friends coming and going can contribute to feelings of loneliness, but also posits that it's a natural part of life, especially for those who are single and not settled down.

💡Catholic

The term 'Catholic' in the video refers to the narrator's religious affiliation. Catherine, the narrator, clarifies that her views on friendship are personal and not representative of the Catholic Church. This term is used to establish the narrator's perspective and to set the context for her observations on friendship.

💡Call to action

A call to action is a prompt encouraging viewers to take a specific step or make a change. In the video, the narrator uses a call to action to encourage viewers to cultivate their friendships and to reach out to others, especially in light of the transient nature of friendships discussed throughout the video.

Highlights

The video discusses the perception of American friendships as 'cheap' and the speaker's personal observations.

The speaker, Catherine, acknowledges the transient nature of North Jersey and its impact on friendships.

Catherine reflects on how friendships evolve from childhood through different life stages.

The pandemic's effect on friendships is discussed, with personal anecdotes of lost connections.

The role of social media in maintaining friendships is questioned, with concerns about superficial connections.

Catherine shares her experience of losing friends due to differing views on the pandemic.

The ease of making and losing friends in different social settings is highlighted.

The concept of 'true friendships' that withstand life changes is explored.

The idea that friendships are cyclical and not permanent is presented.

Catherine's personal journey of making and losing friends throughout her life is shared.

The challenge of maintaining friendships when life stages change, such as marriage and parenthood, is discussed.

The video serves as a call to action to cultivate friendships, despite their impermanence.

Catherine invites viewers to share their thoughts on American friendships and their own experiences.

The video concludes with a reflection on the nature of friendships and the importance of social media's role.