Read People Like a Book (Ayanokoji Guide)

Summary

This video script offers an in-depth guide to mastering the art of reading body language across three stages: foundational, intermediate, and mastery. It debunks common myths, such as the assumption that crossed arms indicate defensiveness, and explains the importance of assessing a range of behaviors for deception. Key gestures, postures, and vocal cues are dissected to provide insights into a person's comfort, honesty, and intentions. The script emphasizes the value of observing hands, feet, facial expressions, and eye movements to uncover true emotions and power dynamics within groups. It also touches on the significance of timing in detecting lies and trusting one's gut feeling.

Takeaways

• 🧠 Understanding body language can provide control over interactions, environment, and future.
• 🙅‍♂️ Arms crossed is not always a sign of defensiveness; it can be a self-soothing behavior.
• 🤔 There's no 'Pinocchio effect'; deception can't be determined by a single behavior.
• 🤲 Open palms during conversation can indicate honesty and the absence of deceit.
• 🤝 Handshake positions can reveal subtle messages about dominance, submission, or respect.
• 👣 Paying attention to feet can offer insights into a person's openness to interaction.
• 😐 Facial expressions of comfort show relaxed muscles and genuine smiles, while discomfort activates stress responses.
• 😖 Micro-expressions, brief involuntary facial expressions, are believed to be universal and can't be faked.
• 👁️ Pupil dilation can indicate genuine interest or approval of something.
• 🔍 Congruence in body language, where verbal and non-verbal cues align, provides consistent messages.
• 👥 Observing group dynamics, such as foot direction and walking positions, can reveal power structures.

Q & A

What is the main goal of learning to read body language as presented in the video?

The main goal is to gain control over your interactions, environment, and ultimately your own future by understanding non-verbal cues.

What are the three stages of reading body language mentioned in the video?

The three stages are the Foundational stage, the Intermediate stage, and the Mastery stage, each building upon the other.

Why is it a myth that crossing arms is a sign of blocking behavior?

Crossing arms is more akin to a self-hug and is actually a self-soothing behavior, not necessarily indicative of blocking or defensiveness.

How does the curvature of hands indicate a person's comfort level?

Relaxed hands with a natural curvature and free movement without tension or stiffness indicate comfort and ease in a situation.

What does showing open palms during a conversation suggest about a person's honesty?

Showing open palms is considered a vulnerable gesture, suggesting honesty and the absence of deceptive intentions.

How can the position of the palm during a handshake convey non-verbal messages?

A vertical palm orientation indicates openness and respect, while a palm-down position might signal dominance, and a palm-up position often denotes submission.

Why are feet important in reading body language and what can they reveal?

Feet can offer valuable insights as they often reveal true feelings when people focus on controlling their facial expressions and hand gestures. They can show whether someone is open to interaction or prefers privacy.

How can observing foot kicks help in understanding someone's discomfort?

Foot kicks often occur when people hear something negative or are forced to answer a question they dislike, signaling high discomfort and a subconscious effort to 'kick away' something undesirable.

What are the two key vocal cues discussed in the video that can indicate a person's mental state?

The two key vocal cues are intonation, which can indicate submissiveness or authority, and the rate of speech, which often increases when a person is nervous.

What are micro-expressions and why are they significant in reading facial expressions?

Micro-expressions are brief, involuntary facial expressions that occur when experiencing an emotion. They are significant because they are believed to be universal across cultures and cannot be faked, providing a genuine window into someone's feelings.

How does pupil dilation relate to a person's interest or approval of something?

Pupil dilation allows more light to enter the eyes, enhancing focus and processing of visual information, and is a subconscious physiological response to genuine interest or approval of something.

What does congruence in body language indicate, and how is incongruence different?

Congruence indicates that non-verbal cues align harmoniously with verbal communication, conveying consistent messages. Incongruence occurs when there is a discrepancy between verbal and non-verbal cues, which can reveal inconsistencies in a person's thoughts or feelings.

Outlines

00:00

🔍 Mastering Body Language: From Basics to Mastery

This paragraph introduces the concept of reading body language as a means to gain control over interactions, environment, and one's future. It outlines three stages of learning body language: foundational, intermediate, and mastery. The paragraph debunks common myths, such as the assumption that crossed arms indicate blocking behavior, and clarifies that such actions are often self-soothing. It emphasizes the importance of assessing a range of behaviors rather than relying on a single 'Pinocchio effect.' The discussion then shifts to the significance of hand gestures, palm positions during handshakes, and the honesty conveyed by open palms. The paragraph concludes with insights on how feet movements can reveal true feelings, often overlooked in favor of more visible body language cues.

05:01

👣 Reading Body Language: From Hands to Feet

The second paragraph delves deeper into the nuances of body language, focusing on hand positions as indicators of comfort and the honesty suggested by open palms. It explains the subtle messages conveyed by the position of the palm during a handshake, such as vertical for neutrality and respect, downward for dominance, and upward for submission. The paragraph also highlights the importance of observing feet movements, which often provide honest reactions that are less controlled than facial expressions or hand gestures. An example is given where observing whether feet adjust to include someone can indicate a willingness to include them in a conversation. The paragraph also touches on vocal cues, such as intonation and speech rate, as indicators of a person's mental state, and facial expressions, including micro-expressions, which are involuntary and believed to be universal across cultures. It suggests practicing with micro-expression tests to improve the ability to decode these expressions in real-time.

Keywords

💡Body Language

Body language refers to the non-verbal cues and signals that individuals communicate through their bodies. In the video, body language is central to understanding how people express themselves without words. It is used to gain control over interactions and to read people's true feelings and intentions. For instance, the video discusses how crossed arms are not necessarily a sign of defensiveness but can be a self-soothing behavior.

💡Control

Control in this context means the ability to manage and influence one's environment and future through understanding and运用 body language. The video emphasizes that by learning to read body language, one can control interactions and achieve desired outcomes. It is a key concept that ties into the overall theme of gaining insight into human behavior.

💡Crossed Arms

Crossed arms are a body posture that is often misinterpreted as a sign of closed-off or defensive behavior. The video clarifies that this is a myth and that crossed arms can be a self-soothing gesture, akin to a self-hug, indicating comfort rather than hostility.

💡Open Palms

Showing open palms during a conversation is a gesture that suggests honesty and openness. The video explains that exposing the palms is a vulnerable gesture, indicating a lack of deceptive intent. This concept is used to illustrate how certain body language cues can signal trustworthiness.

💡Handshakes

Handshakes are highlighted as a rich source of information about a person's character and intentions. The video discusses how the firmness, position of the palm, and even a two-handed handshake can convey dominance, respect, or submission. It is an example of how subtle body language cues can reveal power dynamics.

💡Feet

The video points out that feet can offer valuable insights into a person's true feelings because they are often less controlled than facial expressions and hand gestures. It provides an example of how observing the movement of feet can indicate whether someone is open to being approached or prefers to keep a conversation private.

💡Micro Expressions

Micro expressions are brief, involuntary facial expressions that reveal a person's true emotions. The video explains that these expressions are very short-lived and cannot be faked, making them a reliable window into someone's mental state. They are presented as a key tool for advanced body language readers.

💡Pupils

Pupil dilation is discussed in the video as a physiological response that can indicate interest or agreement. When pupils widen, it suggests that a person is engaged and processing visual information more actively, which can be a sign of genuine interest or approval.

💡Congruence and Incongruence

Congruence refers to the alignment of verbal and non-verbal cues, suggesting honesty and consistency in communication. Incongruence, on the other hand, occurs when there is a discrepancy between what is being said and the body language, which can indicate deception or discomfort. The video uses these concepts to explain how to detect truthfulness in interactions.

💡Power Dynamics

Power dynamics refer to the relationships of dominance and submission within a group. The video suggests that by observing where individuals direct their feet and who takes the central position in a group, one can identify the power structure. This concept is used to demonstrate how body language can reveal social hierarchies.

💡Gut Feeling

Gut feeling is mentioned as an intuitive sense that can help detect deception or hidden intentions. The video advises trusting one's subconscious cues, which may pick up on subtle body language signals that the conscious mind might overlook. This concept is tied to the idea that our instincts can be a powerful tool in reading people.

Highlights

The importance of understanding body language for gaining control over interactions and one's future.

Debunking the myth that crossed arms always indicate a defensive or blocking behavior.

The concept that there is no single 'Pinocchio effect' behavior that reveals deception.

Relaxed hands with a natural curvature indicate comfort and ease.

Open palms during a conversation suggest honesty and the absence of deception.

Handshakes can reveal subtle non-verbal messages about a person's intentions.

The significance of observing feet movements to gauge a person's openness to interaction.

Foot kicks as a sign of discomfort or unwillingness to answer a question.

Vocal cues, such as intonation, can indicate a person's emotional state or confidence.

Facial expressions, particularly the absence of tension, can signal comfort.

Micro-expressions as a window into someone's true emotions.

Pupil dilation as an indicator of genuine interest or approval.

The significance of congruence in non-verbal communication for understanding a person's true feelings.

Incongruent body language can reveal deception or hidden intentions.

The ability to detect power dynamics within a group through non-verbal cues.

The importance of timing and gut feeling in detecting dishonest body language.

Transcripts

[Music]

being able to read people like a book

gave aan aoji unbreakable confidence

think about it how could you possibly

not be filled with a Godlike sense of

certainty when you know things about the

people around you that they themselves

are not even aware of what I want you to

get from this video is control control

over your interactions control over your

environment and ultimately control over

your own future this is why in this

guide you will learn about how to read

body language in three stages the

foundational stage the intermediate

stage and the Mastery stage each of

these levels builds upon the other so

let's sit up straight take a deep breath

and lock

in let's first get some popular body

language myths out of the way when you

see someone sitting with their arms

crossed do you assume that they are

doing a blocking Behavior that's

actually not necessarily true in essence

crossing your arms is like a self hug so

more than anything it's a self- soothing

Behavior also before we go into more

Advanced Techniques it is important to

understand that there is no Pinocchio

effect in other words there is no single

behavior that can reveal things like

deception when you want to understand

people you always need to assess a

broader range of factors now let's talk

about the meaning of key gestures and

postures while talking about hands it is

important to keep in mind that when

someone is relaxed their hands naturally

assume a more curved position rather

than being completely straight this

relaxed curvature indicates comfort and

ease in the situation also relaxed hands

are more likely to move freely without

tension or stiffness so if you notice

that someone's hands are slightly curved

and moving freely it's a sign that they

are feeling comfortable additionally

when someone shows you open Palms during

a conversation there are more likely to

be honest this is because exposing the

Palms is a vulnerable gesture that

suggests the absence of deceptive

intentions lastly handshakes are a gold

mine if you want to gather more

information about someone and I am not

just talking about the firmness for

example the position of the Palm during

a handshake can convey subtle non-verbal

messages a vertical Palm orientation

with the Palm facing sideways or

slightly downward is most likely neutral

and respectful it indicates openness and

a willingness to engage conversely a

palm down position could signal

dominance or assertiveness while a

palm-up position often denotes

submission other than that a technique

that politicians often utilize to

display dominance is offering a

two-handed handshake where the free hand

covers or clasps the shaking hand if you

look up Donald Trump handshakes you can

see this in

[Music]

action feet can offer such valuable

insights because when people try to

control their body language they focus

mainly on their facial expressions and

hand and arm gestures so body language

below the waist is often where the truth

can be found here's a practical example

you notice two classmates engaged in

conversation in the hallway you're

interested in joining them but are

unsure whether your presence would be

welcomed or seen as an interruption want

to find out pay attention to their feet

as you approach their reaction will show

whether they are open to including you

or prefer to keep the the conversation

private if their feet remain stationary

while they turn their upper bodies

toward you it suggests they may not be

interested in your company however if

their feet adjust to include you in

their stance it's a good sign that they

genuinely want you to join the

conversation I will now show you a short

clip try to deduce how the interviewed

women feels about the question she gets

asked why did you want to own a

town I'm glad you asked me this question

I'll bet you are there was so much

written about I'm so glad um did you see

the foot kicks these kick happen when

people hear something negative or they

don't want to answer a question but are

forced to her doing this Behavior

signals High discomfort and shows a

subconscious effort to kick away

something she doesn't like to use this

practically observe what question

triggers the foot kick in the other

person if you want to keep a good

relationship ease off on the questioning

or offer emotional

support vocal cues can also be a big

source of information especially

intonations are important here

intonation is simply the rising and

falling of the voice during speech in

general a Rising intonation indicates

that someone is submissive or insecure

while a falling intonation displays

Authority however keep in mind that a

rising intonation could also just show

curiosity besides that the rate of

speech is quite an obvious window into

someone's mental state people generally

tend to increase their speaking rate

when they are nervous you have probably

noticed this too when you speak in front

of an audience adrenaline rushes through

your body which warps your experience of

time this causes a lot of people to

speed up during

presentations it's it's finally time for

us to talk about facial analyses let's

first approach this by considering the

dichotomy of comfort and discomfort as

these are fundamental states that the

brain reacts to in the world in facial

expressions Comfort is typified by the

absence of tension the muscles are

relaxed and features appear soft and

open genuine Smiles known as duen Smiles

are also a good indicator of comfort you

can spot these Smiles by looking out for

the engagement of the muscles around the

eyes conversely facial expressions

associated with discomfort often involve

the activation of facial muscles in

response to stressors the furrowing of

the brow or squinting of the eyes are

typical examples tension in the jaw or

clenching of the teeth may also be

observed Beyond these overt Expressions

micro expressions are a great gateway to

someone's mental state a micro

expression is a very brief involuntary

facial expression humans make when

experiencing an emotion they usually

last 125th to 1 15th of a second and

cannot be faked what makes micro

Expressions so special is that they are

believed to be Universal across cultures

take a minute to make yourself familiar

with the seven universal micro

Expressions on

[Music]

screen how can you actually start to

decode these micro expressions in real

time besides just carefully paying

attention one interesting way to train

this skill is to practice online with

microexpression tests there are a lot of

free options you can try

out before we talk about congruence and

in congruence let's take a closer look

at the OD eyes if someone's pupils widen

it could suggest that they agree with

what you just said but why is that pupil

dilation allows more light to enter the

eyes which enhances their ability to

focus on and process visual information

this subconscious physiological response

happens when we are genuinely interested

or approve of something under certain

circumstances this dilation might be

hard to spot but this is still something

useful to keep in mind and could really

help you in some circumstances you may

also notice that someone's eyes blink

more than usual this is a big sign that

they are struggling to keep calm however

but before you can make a proper

judgment you first have to get a rough

idea of their Baseline blinking

[Music]

rate congruence refers to a state where

different aspects of non-verbal

communication align harmoniously on the

other hand incongruence occurs when

there is a discrepancy between verbal

and non-verbal cues in congruent body

language various channels of

communication such as facial expressions

gestures posture and vocal tone convey

consistent messages that support the

person's verbal statements for example

someone might show you a genuine smile

while also having a relaxed body posture

and using open gestures conversely an

example of in congruence could be that

someone verbally expresses agreement to

you while displaying tense facial

muscles or avoiding eye contact being

able to spot these inconsistencies is

what really allows you to make more

robust assumptions about someone else's

thoughts and opens the way for you to

enter the Mastery

[Music]

stage being able to accurately detect

the power dynamics of a group is what

really sets people people like aan aoji

apart to master this skill pay attention

to the direction of individuals feet

when they're engaged in conversation

within the group interestingly the feet

are often pointed towards the center of

the group or towards the person they

subconsciously perceive as the leader

also be aware of everyone's position

when walking as a group the person who

naturally assumes the position at the

center of the group while walking often

holds a position of

influence at some point in your life you

will probably come across someone who

consciously tries to trick you into

believing something based on their body

language noticing these attempts comes

down to two things gut feeling and

timing when talking about timing it is

important to keep in mind that for the

honest person a hand gesture comes a

beat before the words on the other hand

an anxious Liar's gestures will follow

the words in doubt it is always best to

follow your gut feeling your

subconscious mind often picks up on

subtle cues that your conscious mind May

overlook

[Music]