I was born from surrogacy and I am now fighting against surrogacy Here is my speech Olivia Maurel
Summary
TLDRThe speaker, a child born from surrogacy, shares a deeply personal account of the emotional and psychological impact of being treated as a transactional object. They recount the trauma of abandonment, struggles with mental health, and the intergenerational effects on their own children. The narrative underscores the urgent need to abolish surrogacy to protect the rights and well-being of children, arguing against its normalization and the systemic issues it perpetuates.
Takeaways
- 🙇♀️ The speaker is a child born from surrogacy and is now an advocate against it, sharing their personal story to highlight the emotional and psychological impacts.
- 🤝 Surrogacy often disregards the consent of the child born, treating them as a product to be sold, similar to objects ordered from a factory.
- 👶 The speaker's biological parents were a successful couple who chose surrogacy due to infertility issues and a desire for a biological child.
- 🏥 The surrogacy process involved selecting a surrogate mother based on specific criteria, and the speaker was born through traditional surrogacy, biologically related to the surrogate.
- 💔 The speaker's biological mother was in a vulnerable state, having suffered a personal tragedy and financial difficulties, which the agency exploited.
- 🗓️ The speaker's birth date was chosen by the intended parents, illustrating a lack of autonomy and the commodification of the child.
- 😢 The speaker experienced severe trauma from abandonment and struggled with mental health issues, addiction, and suicidal thoughts throughout their life.
- 👨👩👧👦 The trauma and mental health issues faced by the speaker have had a transgenerational impact, affecting their own children as well.
- 🧬 The speaker was diagnosed with bipolar disease, possibly inherited from their biological mother, highlighting the importance of genetic and medical history in surrogacy.
- ❌ The speaker calls for the abolition of surrogacy, arguing that it is unethical and has lifelong negative consequences for the children involved, and that no regulation can make it acceptable.
Q & A
What is the speaker's stance on surrogacy?
-The speaker is against surrogacy and is advocating for its abolition, believing it to be unethical and harmful to the children born through it.
Why does the speaker feel emotionally connected to the topic of surrogacy?
-The speaker is emotionally connected to the topic because they were born through surrogacy and have experienced the negative effects of it throughout their life.
What are some of the negative effects the speaker attributes to being born through surrogacy?
-The speaker attributes trauma of abandonment, difficulty forming friendships, fear of rejection, alcohol addiction, suicidal attempts, and mental health issues such as bipolar disease to being born through surrogacy.
How does the speaker describe the process of surrogacy in terms of children's consent?
-The speaker describes the process of surrogacy as one where children are not given consent and are treated as objects or products, similar to cars being ordered from factories.
What was the age difference between the speaker's intended parents when they decided to have a child?
-The speaker's intended father was 37 and the mother was 48 when they decided to have a child.
Why did the speaker's intended parents choose surrogacy over adoption?
-The speaker's intended parents chose surrogacy over adoption because the father wanted a child from his own genes.
How does the speaker feel about their biological mother's situation during her surrogacy?
-The speaker feels that the surrogacy agency took advantage of their biological mother's vulnerable situation, using her need for money and not thoroughly considering her mental health.
What was the speaker's reaction when they found out they were conceived through surrogacy?
-The speaker always felt that something was wrong and they didn't fit in with their family, but it wasn't until they were 30 years old, after a DNA test, that they had physical proof of being born through surrogacy.
How does the speaker's experience with surrogacy affect their children?
-The speaker believes that the traumas they experienced due to being born through surrogacy are transgenerational and have affected their children, who also suffer from abandonment and rejection issues.
What does the speaker suggest as the primary reason for abolishing surrogacy?
-The speaker suggests that the primary reason for abolishing surrogacy is to protect the rights and psychological well-being of the children born through it.
How does the speaker feel about their intended parents?
-The speaker does not feel hatred or blame towards their intended parents; instead, they blame the system that allows surrogacy to continue and potentially cause harm to others.
Outlines
👶 The Impact of Surrogacy on a Child's Life
The speaker begins by expressing gratitude for the opportunity to share their personal narrative as a child born through surrogacy who now advocates against it. They highlight the emotional weight of their story and the importance of considering the voiceless children born from surrogacy arrangements. The speaker describes the commercialization and objectification of children in surrogacy, likening them to products ordered from a factory. They recount their own birth story, detailing the circumstances leading up to their conception through traditional surrogacy in Kentucky, USA. The narrative includes the intended parents' criteria for a surrogate, the surrogate's psychological state, and the financial motivations behind her decision to become a surrogate. The speaker emphasizes the lack of genuine consent and the profound emotional and psychological impact on children like themselves, born into such arrangements.
🏥 Birth and the Trauma of Abandonment
This paragraph delves into the speaker's birth and the immediate aftermath, which was marked by the trauma of abandonment. The speaker was not placed with their biological mother but was instead handed over to their intended parents, a moment that initiated a lifelong struggle with feelings of rejection and fear of abandonment. The speaker's childhood was fraught with emotional difficulties, leading to behavioral issues and an inability to form stable relationships. As an adult, these challenges persisted, manifesting in addiction, mental health struggles, and even suicidal tendencies. The speaker's narrative underscores the intergenerational impact of surrogacy, as their own children now grapple with similar traumas. The paragraph concludes with a plea for the abolition of surrogacy, arguing that no regulation can ethically justify the practice.
🧬 Genetic Inheritance and the Fight Against Surrogacy
The final paragraph of the speaker's testimony addresses the genetic and psychological inheritance they received from their surrogate mother, including a predisposition to mental health issues. The speaker discusses the lack of access to medical history and the potential risks this poses for future generations. They recount their fear and uncertainty when pregnant with their first child, due to the unknown遗传因素 they might pass on. The speaker concludes with a call to action, urging the audience to consider the long-term consequences of surrogacy and to advocate for its abolition. They emphasize that surrogacy's impact extends beyond the individual to future generations, and that the practice can never be ethically justified, regardless of attempts to regulate it.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Surrogacy
💡Consent
💡Abandonment
💡Biological connection
💡Mental health
💡Trauma
💡Transgenerational trauma
💡Ethical considerations
💡Regulation vs. abolition
💡Human rights
Highlights
The speaker expresses gratitude for being invited to share their personal experience with surrogacy.
They emphasize the emotional impact of being born through surrogacy and advocate for its abolition.
The speaker highlights the lack of consent from children born from surrogacy arrangements.
A critique of surrogacy is presented, likening it to the sale of cars from a factory.
The speaker shares their own story, born from a surrogate mother, to illustrate the emotional and psychological effects.
The importance of considering the long-term effects on children born through surrogacy is discussed.
The story of the speaker's intended parents and their decision to use surrogacy is detailed.
The process of finding a surrogate mother and the criteria involved are explained.
The speaker discusses the financial motivations behind surrogacy and the market's influence on the process.
Mental health issues of the surrogate mother are revealed, questioning the adequacy of agency screenings.
The emotional trauma experienced by the speaker at birth and the separation from the biological mother are described.
The speaker reflects on the planned nature of their birth and how it was not in their best interest.
Childhood traumas, including fear of abandonment, are linked to the speaker's surrogacy origins.
The speaker's struggles with addiction, mental health, and suicidal thoughts are shared.
The impact of surrogacy on the speaker's children and the potential for transgenerational trauma is discussed.
The speaker's journey to self-discovery and understanding their origins through a DNA test is recounted.
The speaker calls for the abolition of surrogacy to protect the rights and well-being of children.
A warning is issued against normalizing surrogacy and the potential for ethical violations.
The speaker concludes by urging the audience to consider the lifelong consequences of surrogacy on individuals.
Transcripts
I'd like to thank everyone here um that
invited me to tell my side of the story
um as a child born from surrogacy and
now fighting against
surrogacy I'm grateful and extremely
honored to be in such a place uh this is
more than I expected and I am very
emotional I have to say um my entire
story I will share with you with a lot
of sincerity a lot of humility uh it's
the first time I'm speaking in front of
such a big group of people that are so
bright so I'm a little nervous I have to
say but I do think that my words today
are
important um because all all too often
unfortunately um we forget the people
that are the most affected by
surrogacy but these people they never
give uh their consent they never have
their word and those are the children
that are born from surrogacy these
children that are rips from their their
mother's of birth to be sold to
strangers kind of like cars that you
order from factories that you I mean
pick options that you may or may not
like um and these children are
considered just like vulgar objects and
products I am today a product of
surrogacy created sold bought and I'd
like to tell you my side of the story so
you can understand how it affected me
and why today we can't just simply
regulate surrogacy um we have to abolish
it purely and simply for the good of the
child and of course for the rights of
children a child should never be the
subject of such a contract and above all
should never ever be the subject of a
transaction so as I said we're now going
to travel back 40 years um that's when
my story all started even before my own
birth my intended parents me my intended
mother already had a son with another
man my parents had a very successful
business very very smart people I have
to give them that um my mother was 11
years older than my father the money was
flowing they were at the peak of their
careers and I do believe that at some
point my
mother kind of forgot her biological
clock
and so at one point they decided to
start a family but it was a little too
late at this stage my father was 48 my
my father sorry was 37 and my mother was
48 and my mother already had problems
with
infertility according to my father with
whom I had a recent
discussion he wanted a child from his
own genes so adoption was completely out
of the of the uh picture and surrogacy
to them was the only option rather than
giving up on having a child selfish
decision I believe but it's their
story so they looked up the United
States and more specifically Louisville
Kentucky um to find an agency that could
help them find a surrogate
mother my parents first gave the agency
of course a list of criteria concerning
the woman that should what she should
look like
I personally was born through tra
traditional surrogacy not gational
surrogacy so my surate mother is
biologically related to
me even though to my opinion it makes
absolutely no difference if the mother
is
biologically linked to the child or not
because to me the mother is the one
who has the child inside her womb for 9
months and of course gives birth to the
the
child about a year goes by where in
1991 my parents um had a surrogate
mother but she wasn't holding the
embryos and so they had to be rematched
with what would be my biological
mother um and thankfully she uh she got
pregnant only two months after signing
the uh the
contract it's often said that the
agencies look at wom's pschology through
very thorough tests that they make sure
they don't have any debt to pay but we
know that that's not true $4 billion was
the surrogacy market in 2022 and do you
honestly think that we're going to look
too closely at women who might even lie
during their
interviews I don't think
so my case is a perfect example my
biological mother and um she wasn't
mentally stable she had a huge history
history with
depression but on top of that just
before I was born she had lost a son age
of 2 and 1/2 years old in an absolute
tragic domestic
accident so I think you can put yourself
in her place mentally she wasn't there
at
all she was completely devastated after
that she was in debt and she had to put
on a brave face for her family her
children and her
husband this
agency that only saw what it wanted to
see when it hired her and that's the
money that she could
generate they abused of a Sit of the
situation of a woman that needed money
to feed her children and pay her
bills so I was born on December 10th
1991 a date that was chosen actually by
my attended parents because funny enough
it fell
between my intendant mother's birthday
who was born on December 5th and my my
biological mother who was born on
December 15th I had to be a Christmas
baby
actually but even that was decided for
me can you imagine in surrogacy births
can even be planned out and decided and
I'm not quite sure how that is in the
best interest of the
child and that's where it gets a bit
emotional for me
um as soon as I was born I wasn't placed
in the arms of my biological
mother the mother who had cared me for
nine months um the one who fed me the
one who spoke to me the one who I felt
every emotion invade her when she was
pregnant the woman who in the end was
the only person I
knew no no I had to take the Great Leap
of the infant out of my mother's womb
into the cold
AER world the hospital
lights and I had to be sold and finalize
the transaction into the arms of My
adoptive parents whom I didn't know
of and that unfortunately was the first
trauma that would write the rest of my
life the trauma of
Abandonment so as a child I was already
showing signs of the trauma the trauma
of uh abandonment my parents couldn't
leave me I would be hysterical I was a
very complicate child um I was always
afraid of rejection I had trouble making
friends
my parents couldn't leave me anywhere
sleepovers parties I would I would go in
this hysterical
crisis and so they couldn't leave me I
was just afraid unfortunately that they
I would suffer a second abandonment
every time they they left
me but at that point in time I was
already going through an inner battle
how could I build myself without knowing
where I could came
from during my adult life things got
worse I sank into
alcohol
addictions I even was raped um because I
was constantly putting myself on agch I
made several suicide
attempts my life wasn't the
best um I had a hard time having normal
friendships I would suffocate people
because I was afraid that they would
leave me I was alone I was very very
lonely I sang into a lot of
depressions I'm
sorry I was also never able to find a
good job I wasn't
stable and I had a hard time finishing
my
studies then thank God I met my husband
uh who gradually helped me rebuild my
life as it is today with a lot of
patience a lot of
love he let me lash out all my emotions
and understood exactly why I reacted the
way I
would today I have three beautiful
children but unfortunately they in turn
suffer from my
traumas my daughter my oldest elanar
suffers from the trauma of
Abandonment and my son Theodore my
second suffers from the trauma of
rejection unfortunately they suffer in
turn from a traumas because I do
thoroughly believe that all of these are
transgenerational so surrogacy didn't
just affect me thank
you thank you surrogacy didn't just
affect me unfortunately it affects my
own children
today they of course have
help
I had proof of the fact that I was born
from surrogacy through a DNA test when I
was turn when I turned 30 I'm 31
today but that was the physical proof
because I always knew inside of me
inside that I didn't fit in I had
problems with my mother I saw that I
didn't connect with her I connected with
my dad because a little bit more because
he was biologically linked to me
but things didn't seem
right and I knew inside me something was
wrong we children were not stupid you
know we're very very smart
people and not so long ago uh I was
diagnosed with bipolar
disease shouldn't shock any of you after
everything I just told
you my biological mother so my surrogate
mother she herself battles with mental
issues and and I do believe I inherited
that from her but how could I know I
never had access to my medical records
on her side and everything was hidden
from
me and she could have lied during the
process
eventually in fact when I got pregnant
from my first child
Elanor I was scared to death I was
scared to death because I didn't know
what I would be passing on to my baby
cancer a genetic dis disease mental
health
issues it's mind-boggling to me to find
that in that it's in the best interest
of the child to hide all of this
information from their from from them
all their of their lives
sorry and that is a brief summary of my
life very very brief I could speak for
hours on my life and all the problems
that surrogacy has caused
me there are always
consequences look at me two people my
intended parents 31 years
ago they made a small decision then a
bigger one and then a more trivial one
and one decision after another I came to
the
world and on that day I was the
consequence of a small Choice made by
two people at a time when I didn't even
exist and this Choice it defined my
entire existence I'm a consequence and I
hope that soon it will be me who will
bring about consequences to abolish the
atrocity of
surrogacy but be careful in my words I
you'll never see me blaming my
parents they used a process that was
just an offer an option offered to them
on a silver PL platter and they didn't
have the strength to resist it today I
don't feel any hatred for them I don't
blame them I love
them but however I do blame the system
that is slowly but surely allowing
surrogacy to be
legalized first we approved the use of
surrogacy for medical reasons such as
infertility after we accept it for
social reasons and then we accept it for
anything and everything and for reasons
of human trafficking the sale of
children the unavailability of the human
body for ethical bioethical
reasons surrogacy has to be abolished
but in my humble opinion and I'm
not uh a doctor or just a child the
greatest reason to abolish this
monstrosity is for the sake of the child
for his or her rights for a psychic
balance that he or she like me may never
ever
regain and I'm just going to finish with
this and this is to all of you that may
think that this is normal to I mean
surrogacy is normal and we should maybe
regulate
it if just one child like me has
encountered so many problems in his or
her life as a result of surgy that
should be enough to convince all of you
that there's nothing good about this
process and that nothing can make it
ethical despite all of your attempts to
persuade yourself otherwise thank you
for your
time
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