The Battle Against Patriarchy | Rida Tharana | TEDxPESUSalon

Summary

In this TED Talk, a 24-year-old woman from a small town explores the concept of freedom for women. She challenges societal expectations and gender norms, discussing the pressures of marriage, the importance of financial independence, and the struggle for equal opportunities. Through personal anecdotes and societal observations, she advocates for women's empowerment, the right to make choices, and the need to break free from patriarchal constraints.

Takeaways

• 🎤 The speaker emphasizes the importance of discussing women's freedom and equality, challenging societal norms and expectations.
• 🌍 The speaker reflects on her upbringing in a small town and how global issues like conservation and gender inequality have personally impacted her.
• 🚺 The speaker discusses the societal pressures and expectations placed on women, highlighting the lack of freedom in various aspects of their lives.
• 💼 The speaker shares her personal journey of financial independence and how it has empowered her to make her own choices.
• 🏡 The speaker talks about the traditional expectations of women in marriage and how education is often seen as a means to improve marriage prospects rather than personal growth.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The speaker describes the double standards and additional responsibilities women face in balancing work and family life.
• 💪 The speaker advocates for women to support each other and break free from the constraints of patriarchy.
• 👗 The speaker addresses the beauty standards imposed on women and the negative impact of these standards on self-esteem and self-worth.
• 🤝 The speaker highlights the importance of women making their own decisions,不受外界影响，including choices about marriage, career, and personal expression.
• 🌟 The speaker concludes by celebrating the strength and resilience of women who stand up for themselves and work towards achieving true equality.

Q & A

What was the speaker's main topic of discussion in her second TED Talk?

The speaker's main topic was about the freedom and independence of women, exploring how societal expectations and norms often limit women's freedom.

Why did the speaker feel compelled to discuss the topic of women's freedom?

The speaker felt compelled to discuss women's freedom because she wanted to address the societal pressures and expectations that constantly remind women of their perceived limitations.

What was the speaker's perspective on the role of marriage in women's lives?

The speaker viewed marriage as an institution that often comes with societal expectations that can limit women's freedom, as it is sometimes seen as the ultimate goal for women rather than a personal choice.

How does the speaker describe the societal expectations placed on women regarding their education and career?

The speaker describes societal expectations as often reducing women's education and career achievements to mere details on a marriage invitation, implying that their success is secondary to their marital status.

What challenges does the speaker face in proving her capabilities to her family and society?

The speaker faces challenges like proving that she can manage her own life, pay off loans, and succeed in her career without needing to rely on a man or conform to traditional gender roles.

Why is financial independence important to the speaker?

Financial independence is important to the speaker because it represents freedom and the ability to take care of herself without needing to depend on others, which is a significant aspect of women's empowerment.

What is the speaker's view on the role of women in the corporate world?

The speaker views the corporate world as a space where women still face competition and are sometimes held back by patriarchal attitudes, but she also sees a shift towards women supporting each other.

How does the speaker feel about the beauty standards imposed on women?

The speaker feels that beauty standards are limiting and harmful, as they create insecurities and force women to compare themselves to unrealistic ideals, which can be emotionally draining.

What does the speaker suggest as a way for women to break free from societal constraints?

The speaker suggests that women should seek financial independence, make their own choices, and support each other as a community to break free from societal constraints.

What message does the speaker want to convey about women's capabilities and self-worth?

The speaker wants to convey that women are capable of achieving a lot on their own and should not seek validation from others. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and self-reliance for women's empowerment.

Outlines

00:00

🚺 Societal Expectations and Women's Freedom

The speaker begins her TED Talk by expressing her interest in discussing a topic that is innovative and different, focusing on the incorporation of women's issues. She questions whether women are truly free, drawing from her experiences growing up in a small town. The societal norms and expectations that dictate how a woman should behave are highlighted as constraints on her freedom. The speaker discusses the pressure to conform to traditional gender roles, such as marriage and domestic duties, and how these expectations are ingrained from a young age. She shares her personal journey, including the societal and familial pressures she faced, and how these experiences have shaped her views on women's freedom and independence.

05:02

💼 Financial Independence and Women's Empowerment

In this paragraph, the speaker delves into the concept of financial independence as a key aspect of women's freedom. She contrasts the societal expectations of women with her own experiences, emphasizing the importance of making one's own decisions. The speaker shares her achievements, such as buying a car for her father, as a testament to her capabilities and a way to challenge traditional gender norms. She discusses the stereotypes and biases women face in the workplace and the struggle for equal pay and opportunities. The narrative also touches on the internalized patriarchy that can be perpetuated by women themselves, and the importance of breaking free from these limiting beliefs to achieve true empowerment.

10:04

💪 Breaking Free from Beauty Standards and Insecurities

The final paragraph addresses the issue of beauty standards and how they impact women's self-perception and self-worth. The speaker recounts her own struggles with body image and societal expectations of beauty, which led to feelings of inadequacy and a constant comparison with others. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and the realization that one's worth is not determined by physical appearance. The speaker calls for a collective effort among women to challenge and change these harmful standards, advocating for a shift towards a more inclusive and diverse definition of beauty. She concludes by encouraging women to recognize their strength and capabilities, and to stand up for themselves and their desires without the need for validation from others.

Keywords

💡Freedom

Freedom in the context of the video refers to the autonomy and independence that women seek in various aspects of life, such as career, marriage, and personal choices. The speaker discusses how societal expectations and norms often limit women's freedom, using her own experiences to illustrate the point. For example, she mentions how women are expected to prioritize marriage and family over their careers or personal ambitions.

💡Patriarchy

Patriarchy is a social system in which men hold primary power and are dominant in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege, and control of property. The video script highlights how patriarchy affects women's lives, from the expectations placed on them during upbringing to the challenges they face in the workplace. The speaker provides examples such as the societal pressure on women to marry and the undervaluation of their work compared to men's.

💡Financial Independence

Financial independence is the state of having control over one's own economic life and not being dependent on someone else for financial support. The speaker emphasizes the importance of financial independence for women as a means of achieving true freedom and making their own choices. She shares her personal journey of realizing the value of earning her own money and the sense of security it provides.

💡Gender Roles

Gender roles are a set of societal norms that dictate the behaviors, activities, and attributes expected of individuals based on their assigned sex. The video script discusses how these roles often confine women to traditional expectations, such as focusing on marriage and household duties. The speaker challenges these roles by advocating for women's rights to pursue education, careers, and personal fulfillment outside of these stereotypes.

💡Beauty Standards

Beauty standards refer to the cultural and societal norms that define what is considered attractive or beautiful. The speaker in the video script addresses the unrealistic beauty standards that women are often held to, such as having fair skin, straight hair, and a slim body. She shares her own struggles with these standards and how they can lead to low self-esteem and a constant comparison with others.

💡Inequality

Inequality in the video script is discussed in the context of the disparities between men and women in areas such as pay, opportunities, and social status. The speaker points out that despite women's advancements in education and the workplace, they often do not receive equal pay or opportunities compared to men, which is a form of gender-based inequality.

💡Marriage

Marriage is a legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship. In the video, the speaker discusses how marriage is often presented as a societal obligation for women, with expectations placed on them from a young age. She challenges this notion by advocating for women's right to choose whether or not to marry and on their own terms.

💡Self-Reliance

Self-reliance is the ability to depend on oneself, particularly in meeting one's own needs and overcoming challenges. The speaker in the video emphasizes the importance of self-reliance for women, sharing her own experiences of proving her capabilities and independence. She encourages women to be self-reliant to break free from societal expectations and to have the freedom to make their own choices.

💡Societal Expectations

Societal expectations are the beliefs about how individuals should behave or act as defined by society. The video script explores how these expectations can be particularly restrictive for women, dictating their roles, behaviors, and life choices. The speaker uses her own life as an example to show how she has navigated and challenged these expectations.

💡Empowerment

Empowerment refers to the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights. The video script discusses women's empowerment as a means to overcome patriarchal norms and achieve personal and professional success. The speaker talks about how women supporting each other can lead to a collective empowerment and challenge the status quo.

💡Education

Education in the video script is discussed as a tool for women's empowerment and a pathway to independence. The speaker reflects on how education has been both a means for her to break free from traditional gender roles and a way to challenge societal norms. She also points out the irony that despite women's educational achievements, they are often still valued primarily for their potential as wives and mothers.

Highlights

The speaker discusses the topic of gender equality and the societal expectations placed on women.

The speaker questions whether women are truly free in a society that constantly reminds them of their gender roles.

The ideology of how a woman should behave and the expectations placed on them are highlighted as constraints on women's freedom.

The speaker shares personal experiences growing up in a small town with traditional views on women's roles.

The pressure on women to marry and the societal norms associated with it are discussed.

The speaker challenges the notion that a woman's education is primarily for her marriage prospects.

The double burden of work and home responsibilities faced by women is described.

The importance of financial independence for women is emphasized.

The speaker talks about the realization of her own capabilities and the freedom that comes with financial independence.

The challenges of proving oneself in a male-dominated society are shared.

The speaker reflects on the changes in women's roles and the support women are now giving each other.

The impact of societal beauty standards on women's self-esteem and identity is discussed.

The speaker shares her journey of self-acceptance and breaking free from societal expectations of beauty.

The idea that women need validation from men to feel complete is critiqued.

The speaker calls for a collective effort from women to stand up for their rights and freedoms.

The empowerment of women to take care of themselves and not rely on others for their well-being is emphasized.

The speaker concludes with a message of hope and the potential for a future of gender equality.

Transcripts

and this is me giving my second Ted Talk

and I thought the only time I would take

up is if I find a very different and uh

Innovative let's call it something all

of the subject kind of a topic so when

they reach out to me also the topic was

the thing I was interested in

and it's

like

incorporate women with it but how how

can we not incorporate women with it are

we really free

from a very small town I'm 24 year old

and what obviously read every

Independence Day there's one post that

comes up stating that conservations are

free

as global warming there's inequality

there's that there's this so that's

that's one question out there so I'm

gonna uh take it entirely to my gender

as a woman

as a woman am I really free and I'm

going to start saying that no I'm not

and every walk of my life every step I

take the society reminds me of it the

ideology of how a woman should be

reminds me of it and the expectation

constantly remind me that hey you are

actually not free we are bound to

certain things in a way that we just

cannot get out of always struggling or

we're talking about it at this point

Beauty gods and I'm the older one and

while growing up Jenna was never

something that we were spoken of but one

of the things I was constantly talked

about regularly to my parents was you

have three goals what are you gonna do

with them

as of though like if you're three goals

you probably need to you know sign up

something or figure life

but that's how it was constantly put up

your three girls you have to figure out

marriage for them little girls when

marriage was something there was

constantly spoken of

because if you if you are getting

married to somebody you need to give

them something as a gift even they even

though they might not ask for this and

this is something that I kept growing

nonsense right constantly knowing the

fact that as a woman my parents have to

gather something or constantly need to

answer the society because because ours

supposed to be at the end of the day uh

for someone I always keep telling them

right women are with you with with their

buildings as girls we depend on our

parents we thought about marriage we

prepared for it you're sent to a good

engineering college to get that degree

and then it's put up in your marriage

marriage invitations

is an engineer who's

well

but here knows how hard it has been for

him to study she'll be a very

understanding

and that's exactly what's

the best and best of women who've got

them the best of best of education is

just for their marriage invitation to

state that this is why she's doing this

eventually you need to end up getting

married all the let's say education that

you've learned eventually goes on goes

on how to cook how to clean and how do I

use my uh knowledge on the same and if

you by any chance stand out to be

somebody who say I am privileged enough

because my family or my husband allows

let me concentrate on this word

specifically allows me to work then

you're probably waking up early in the

morning at six o'clock doing everything

at home cooking breakfast for yourself

and for your husband packing is

different sending him off going to your

work working for a nine hours shift

coming back again cooking for yourself

to the husband going back to bed which

is for like I think five hours of sleep

and you wake up again we did ask for

this we did tell that hey we won't eat

quality we did get it but in a way that

we're just exhausting ourselves your

parents are saving up for you to give

the best education while our parents are

saving up

to get me married off to someone with a

lot of gold

one of the things that women lack is

financial Independence freedom

right when it comes to money with all

that we're talking yes we have women who

are working I have a sister working I am

working a lot of them are working but a

very truly free

once you start making money

limited I started making money I

realized that hey this

that are not a lot of people want women

to have

[Music]

can actually take care of myself I do

not need anybody and if one day anybody

decides to abandon me I can still rely

on myself without having to think should

I go back to my parents should I find a

man to take care of me or anything else

then later on when I started doing

things I didn't realize my

responsibilities I'm living by myself I

need to take care of things I need to do

all of that I realize that there's a

difference between me

[Music]

making money

yes

is different for different people for me

it has always been freedom of choice I

want a woman to be able to make

decisions of herself for her to choose

what she wants to wear uh what she wants

to share freedom of opinion Freedom of

Choice decide whom she wants to marry

when she wants to marry what's the

course she would like to take

right as I said coming back to

[Music]

make money

I got my father his first car a second

car or this jam and I got it because

again I wanted to get it for him the

relationship between my parents have

always been proving them that I am

capable of doing it came to Bangalore I

had to constantly prove that I'm not

gonna run away with the boy because

you're at the end attached to a man

right what will you do today you

another guy and run away with him that

did not happen then they thought I'd not

be able to pay off the loan they

know that I took I paid that office

right that did not happen then they

thought should not be able to make it

like how much can you really do you can

you study then you work for some time

and then you're tired that did not

happen either when I got in that car

that was the first time I was able to

able to sit

in the middle of all the men around me

okay

not a single woman apart from myself

it's my father or my uncle my aunt my

mama was my Tattoo's and they're they're

Sons as well who are like very young

they're literally you've lost 10 or 11th

but you do understand that they're there

because of the agenda and nothing is but

I sat there one of the things that

constantly hit me is I am cure

because I was able to get something as

big as a car

or as I would have to wait

until they were done eating

for me to walk in and take it and the

more I walk in

let's consider your earning 35

and you're like working to get the

highest package you have the same

as a man but you're not getting paid for

the same thing you also have competition

right while you're growing up you

realize that okay I'm doing this with

your lifetime

what's more to it do it you don't have

so much

once you take up a vacation

you're done with the money that you have

that's when you realize that you don't

have

making decisions

you don't really

sure your followers know is not

bothering you up and asking that hey I

just wanted to have your opinion on this

particular decision or can you make this

decision for us it's never been

your say but it has always been a sea of

a man you know my son in any ways

eventually take up the land so I have to

ask him this opinion

so when you make anything to that matter

you are great accordingly as much as I

would like to say do things for yourself

it's hard because we constantly are

proving to society that we are worthy of

what we can do and we want to be put out

there we want to be called or we want to

be known for us and not for our gender

like Instagram is one of the platforms I

use to talk about this on a regular

basis and I realized that

women great

patriarchy is one of the things that

still exists it persists in a different

way some of them are right up front on

your face like no you cannot do this

some of them come off like hey you're

during leaves you can't dress like this

your manner married women girls don't

dress like this you're old enough

old enough and when things like these

keep happening is when you realize that

even in this generation

patriarchy still exists for me it was

taught to me by my mother

she was the first one to instill that

hey

in terms of Education until the class

time that's more than enough it's enough

for you to teach your kids I never knew

I'd be able to stand up here on a stage

and address this to a cloud at all if I

were to believe her then that hey

class 10th is more than enough but yes

patriarchy is usually instilled by our

women because that's how they are raised

as well they're conditioned into

believing that this is how we should be

let's consider another woman sitting out

there with my other entirely different

mind that you have to agree with

whatever I say I'm not I'm not saying

that at all but they also have the

superiority complex where they feel that

I'm entitled I am good while she is not

following what a woman has to follow or

what a woman is expected of and it's sad

because they will actually pull other

women down that that be in the corporate

spaces not corporate spaces this

competition right and that's one of the

things I feel is changing right we're

coming together as a community where

women are supporting women

freedom freedom from insecurities stop

body starts let's talk about the whole

Beauty standard that's lined up you

should be a certain way it should be a

certain client a skinny girl with a

petite body straight hair fair skin is

much more admissible and admirable than

anybody out there and it stuck to us

while growing up I hope it's not the

same thing I'm not big fan of my skin

color I'm not very happy with how I look

I've been constantly comparing myself to

other people stating that only if

I was like them or I was like oh

I would have been driven men would find

me dripping I would have been accepted

into society and if

I don't know there's no one like me but

it takes so much from you right you have

so much trauma for your childhood that

it takes so much of your teenage years

so much of your adulthood to just figure

out that I am a complete person all by

myself without having to look like

without having to sound sound like

someone or without having to be like

someone

constantly fight battle with

the over again that hey

please accept me even though I do not

sit on the on the whole radar

but the whole idea

of that wanting right

from time to time from another gender

feeling that only if I get validation

from this person probably I am

probably I can't well or probably I can

exist and once you break out of that

shell is when you know that here I am a

I'm a human being all by myself I always

constantly think will we ever reach a

space they will have two equality we'll

never reach them because we'll

constantly have a set of people staying

there and no let's go back to the old

age

us as women are collectively coming

together

asking for Freedom right standing up for

ourselves knowing that this is what we

want we're taking like

them and that's okay we as Community

right now most women that I know and I'm

happy about because that's whenever I

surround with and I want to be like

know that

don't need a man

it's not a necessity

I will not die if I don't have one or

perish if I don't have one or feel like

that's the end of my life I want a man

if there is a man in my life it's

because I want him to be there and

tomorrow if I decide that I do not want

him I can actually walk away but women

once they learn

how to actually take care of themselves

without needing anybody they are

emotional beings not denying it we have

attachment towards a family towards

people that we dearly love we care and

we want to protect them but once we know

that I am the one who will be taking

care of myself when I fall back I am the

one who hold

and I am the one who stand up for me no

matter what

and that's exactly

[Music]

which you're actually capable of a lot

of things all by yourself

but you're afraid because once you do

that

yeah

[Music]

see

[Applause]