'We can Fix it' Manoj Vasudevan, 3rd place Toastmasters 2015

Summary

Mano, a 24-year-old from India, humorously recounts his journey to find love. Despite initial success in marriage, he and his wife faced numerous compatibility issues. After seeking advice and reading relationship books to no avail, his mother's wisdom taught him the importance of compromise and flexibility in a relationship. By applying these lessons, Mano and his wife transformed their marriage, celebrating 17 years together with two children, proving that love requires give and take.

Takeaways

• 😀 Mano was 24 years old, living a comfortable life in India but lacked a romantic partner.
• 💘 His mother offered to help him find a wife, showcasing the cultural practice of arranged marriages.
• 🎉 Mano married a woman who seemed perfect on the surface, but they had many differences that led to conflicts.
• 📚 Despite reading numerous books on relationships, Mano found that they did not provide a solution to his marital issues.
• 🤔 A friend's advice to separate made Mano reconsider his approach to resolving relationship problems.
• 👵 His mother's wisdom emphasized the importance of compromise and flexibility in a relationship, likening it to the partnership of a bow and string.
• 💡 Mano learned that relationships require both partners to bend and adjust, rather than expecting perfection from each other.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 He and his wife have now been married for 17 years, with two children, illustrating the success of their adjusted approach.
• 🤝 Mano's story highlights the importance of continuous effort and mutual understanding in maintaining a healthy relationship.
• 🌟 The message encourages others to 'pull less and bend more' in their relationships for a better chance at success.

Q & A

How old was Mano when he was living in India with a nice job and car?

Mano was 24 years old when he was living in India with a nice job and car.

What was Mano's mother's initial response when he expressed his desire to get married?

Mano's mother responded with 'No problem, we can fix it,' indicating her willingness to help him find a wife.

What did Mano's mother do to help him find a potential bride?

Mano's mother picked up the phone and started calling her friends to look for potential brides for him.

How did Mano describe the first woman he was arranged to meet?

Mano described the first woman as looking like a movie star from Bollywood and that she looked at him like he was George Clooney.

On what date did Mano get married, and what is the significance of that date?

Mano got married on July 4th, which is America's Independence Day. He humorously noted that he lost his independence on that day.

What were some of the differences between Mano and his wife that caused problems in their relationship?

Mano and his wife had differences such as her liking the outdoors and him preferring indoors, her loving swimming while he feared drowning, and her cooking versus his preference for his mother's cooking.

What advice did Mano's friend Jay give him regarding his marriage?

Jay advised Mano that life is short and not to suffer, suggesting that he should separate if he was unhappy in his marriage.

What was Mano's mother's advice on maintaining a successful relationship?

Mano's mother advised that no partner is 100% perfect and that the key to a successful relationship is the willingness to bend more, adjust, adapt, and accept each other.

How did Mano change his approach to his relationship after his mother's advice?

After his mother's advice, Mano started to bend more by joining his wife in her activities, such as going outdoors and swimming, and he noticed that she became nicer in response.

How long have Mano and his wife been married, and do they still have conflicts?

Mano and his wife have been married for 17 years, and they still have conflicts, but they handle them by holding hands even during disagreements.

What is the main message Mano shared about relationships based on his experience?

Mano shared that the main message about relationships is to 'pull less and bend more,' meaning to be more flexible and accommodating in a relationship to make it work.