im here

Summary

In a candid video, the speaker grapples with existential questions, reflecting on their past ambitions and current aimlessness. They express a desire to find a fulfilling purpose, contemplating their love for guitar and gaming, and the misery of competitive play. The speaker acknowledges the societal pressure to work and the emptiness of holidays without close friends. They touch on their foray into voice acting and music, sharing their SoundCloud presence with its melancholic songs. The video concludes with thoughts on moving and the impact of cutting toxic relationships, hinting at a song inspired by such an experience.

Takeaways

• 🤔 The speaker is currently in a booth, reflecting on their thoughts and life direction.
• 🛌 They initially tried to relax on their bed but found their mind too active, leading them to the booth.
• 🔄 The speaker acknowledges the common advice of not looking back but expresses confusion about their future path.
• 💼 They recognize a societal expectation to contribute through employment or education but are unsure of their specific purpose.
• 🎸 A year ago, they bought a guitar and have been playing casually, indicating a possible interest in music.
• 🎮 They enjoy playing games, especially non-competitive ones, as competitive gaming causes them distress.
• 😔 The speaker feels a sense of aimlessness and existential dread, questioning their purpose and future.
• 🏡 They mention a lack of close friends and a distant relationship with family, contributing to feelings of loneliness.
• 🎙️ The booth was purchased with aspirations in voice acting, and they have recorded songs on SoundCloud, which they describe as depressing.
• 🔧 The speaker is considering moving to a smaller apartment soon, expressing reluctance and the hassle of moving.
• ✂️ They discuss the difficult decision to cut someone out of their life, which they've reflected on through songwriting.

Q & A

Why did the speaker decide to get into the booth?

The speaker's mind was too active to relax on the bed, so they got into the booth to perhaps say something or think about their past.

What does the speaker feel about the advice 'don't look back'?

The speaker seems to be struggling with this advice, as they are contemplating their past and current purpose in life.

What societal duty does the speaker feel they have?

The speaker feels they have a duty to serve society, possibly through getting a job or furthering their education.

Why did the speaker purchase a guitar?

The speaker bought a guitar about a year ago, but they still consider themselves a novice and play it occasionally.

Why did the speaker stop playing competitive games?

The speaker found competitive gaming to be miserable, especially when they couldn't rank up, leading to their decision to quit.

What is the speaker's current plan for their life?

The speaker's current plan is to continue studying, try to get a job, and then retire, although they are unsure about the specifics.

What was the speaker's dream in the past?

The speaker's past dream was to become a YouTuber, but they are now uncertain about this goal.

How does the speaker feel during weekends and holidays?

The speaker feels miserable during weekends and holidays, especially when they have long stretches of time with nothing to do.

Why does the speaker feel alone despite having family and school interactions?

The speaker feels alone because they lack close friends and their family interactions are limited to events, with school interactions being superficial.

What is the purpose of the booth according to the speaker?

The booth was initially purchased for the speaker to try voice acting, and they have used it to record songs, which are available on SoundCloud.

Why does the speaker consider their recorded songs depressing?

The speaker's songs reflect their current emotional state and thoughts, which are filled with uncertainty and existential questioning, hence they are described as depressing.

What is the speaker's view on their YouTube channel and its purpose?

The speaker views YouTube as a place for entertainment, but they feel their current content is not entertaining and is more of a projection of their scrambled thoughts.

Why is the speaker considering moving to a smaller apartment?

The speaker is considering moving to a smaller apartment, possibly due to financial reasons or a desire for a change, but they express reluctance about the move.

What significant action has the speaker taken regarding their personal relationships?

The speaker has cut someone out of their life, which they found to be a necessary but difficult experience, and they even made a song about it.