Bill Burr's Sports Rants | CONAN on TBS

Summary

In this humorous and candid dialogue, the speaker shares his unfiltered thoughts on various aspects of sports, including the controversy surrounding steroid use in baseball and the Hall of Fame, the over-commercialization of football, and the irritation of sports being used as a platform for social causes. He also touches on the changing dynamics of fan experiences, from the annoyance of the 'tomahawk chop' to the absurdity of interviewing coaches mid-game, all while maintaining his unwavering love for the game despite its flaws.

Takeaways

• 🤔 The speaker expresses indifference towards the steroid use controversy in baseball, suggesting that players who use steroids are like guinea pigs for future advancements.
• 💪 The speaker humorously envisions a future where steroids are commonplace and can be inhaled to achieve physical perfection, like having abs or a full head of hair.
• 👴 The speaker criticizes the modern practices in baseball, such as the expectation to give foul balls to children, which he believes has changed the game's spirit.
• 📺 The speaker feels that sports have become too commercialized and politicized, with causes and messages being attached to games, which detracts from the pure enjoyment of watching.
• 🎉 The speaker strongly dislikes attending Super Bowl parties due to the behavior of non-fans who talk during the game and miss the point of watching sports.
• 🏈 The speaker is a dedicated football fan, watching multiple games each week and taping those he cannot watch live.
• 👥 The speaker believes that women, with their multitasking brains, cannot enjoy watching sports in the same way men can, and suggests this is why they might want to change the experience.
• 🏆 The speaker admires O.J. Simpson's football achievements despite his infamous criminal past, highlighting the ability to separate personal actions from professional accomplishments.
• 🗣 The speaker finds the practice of interviewing coaches during halftime disruptive and unnecessary, as it takes them away from focusing on the game.
• ☀️ The speaker is concerned about the impact of global warming on sports, as evidenced by unusually warm weather during a November baseball game.
• 🤷‍♂️ Despite criticisms and controversies, the speaker asserts that he will continue to watch football because of his deep love for the sport.

Q & A

What is the main controversy discussed regarding the Hall of Fame in the transcript?

The main controversy discussed is the potential inclusion of players like Bonds and Clemens into the Hall of Fame, who are suspected of using steroids in the past.

What is the speaker's opinion on athletes using steroids?

The speaker does not mind athletes using steroids, suggesting they are acting as guinea pigs for future advancements in the use of such substances.

How does the speaker envision the future of steroids affecting the general public?

The speaker humorously predicts that by the time they are 80, there might be a steroid vaporizer that people can inhale to gain physical benefits like abs and full heads of hair.

What change in baseball games does the speaker dislike?

The speaker dislikes the expectation that if you catch a foul ball, you should give it to a child, which he feels has led to kids not having to work for anything.

What does the speaker criticize about the NFL's approach to certain issues?

The speaker criticizes the NFL for becoming too 'poppy,' with too many causes and distractions from the game, such as dressing in pink for breast cancer awareness or having moments like 'stand up to cancer' during games.

Why does the speaker refuse to attend Super Bowl parties?

The speaker refuses to attend Super Bowl parties because they believe they are full of people who don't watch football regularly, and they talk during the game and only pay attention during commercials.

How does the speaker describe their typical football watching routine?

The speaker watches two games on Sunday, tapes three, watches the Monday game, and then watches one of the taped games on Tuesday and Wednesday, the Thursday night game, and college football on Saturday.

What does the speaker suggest about women's enjoyment of sports?

The speaker humorously suggests that women, with their multitasking brains, cannot enjoy watching sports in the same focused way men can, and implies that they might be jealous of men's ability to enjoy sports without multitasking.

How does the speaker feel about the 'tomahawk chop' performed by Florida State fans?

The speaker finds the 'tomahawk chop' annoying, not because of its cultural implications, but because it is done repeatedly every few seconds and doesn't seem to vary.

What does the speaker say about the impact of global warming on sports?

The speaker humorously notes that playing a home game in November with a temperature of 71 degrees is a sign of the golden age of global warming and suggests people should enjoy it before 'hellfires come'.

What is the speaker's final stance on watching football despite any controversies or issues?

The speaker declares that they would continue to watch football regardless of controversies, even if the commissioner were to do something outrageous like punt a baby.