Leaders Eat Last | Simon Sinek

Summary

The script explores the impact of human emotions and chemical responses on organizational behavior. It delves into how happiness, driven by chemicals like endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, influences trust, cooperation, and leadership within groups. The speaker emphasizes the importance of creating a 'circle of safety' to foster these positive traits and contrasts the effects of cortisol, which induces stress and inhibits empathy. The talk highlights the need for leaders to understand and leverage these emotional and chemical dynamics to build successful, empathetic, and cooperative teams.

Takeaways

• 😌 Trust and cooperation are natural reactions when we feel safe, whereas cynicism and self-interest arise when we don't.
• 🤔 The human body and organizations can be directed through incentive systems, which aim to shape behavior towards set goals.
• 🧠 Four primary chemicals in our bodies—endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—drive our feelings of happiness and influence our actions.
• 🏃‍♂️ Endorphins are associated with masking physical pain, such as during exercise or laughter, and are less about survival in modern times.
• 🎯 Dopamine is linked to the feeling of accomplishment and goal achievement, which is why visualizing goals is crucial for motivation.
• 📉 The overemphasis on dopamine-driven incentives can lead to addiction to performance and a focus on metrics rather than the bigger picture.
• 🤝 Serotonin is the 'leadership' chemical, tied to pride, status, and self-confidence, and is reinforced through public recognition.
• 🔐 Oxytocin is the chemical of love, trust, and loyalty, promoting a sense of safety and cooperation, which is vital for strong human relationships.
• 🤝‍♀️-🤝‍♂️ Physical contact is a powerful way to increase oxytocin levels, fostering trust and a sense of belonging.
• 🧘‍♂️ Cortisol, the stress hormone, is designed to keep us alive in dangerous situations but can be detrimental when chronically present due to a lack of trust.
• 🧠 The balance between our subconscious and conscious brains is crucial, with the subconscious having access to a vast amount of information that can inform our decisions.

Q & A

What is the natural reaction when we feel safe amongst our own?

When we feel safe amongst our own, the natural reaction is trust and cooperation.

How do the chemicals in our body relate to our behavior in an organization?

The chemicals in our body, such as endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, incentivize us to repeat behaviors that are in our best interest, similar to how organizations use incentive systems and goals to direct behavior.

What is the primary purpose of endorphins in our body?

Endorphins primarily serve to mask physical pain, and activities like laughing can trigger an endorphin rush.

Why is dopamine associated with finding something or accomplishing a goal?

Dopamine is associated with the feeling of accomplishment and focus, which is why visualizing goals and tracking progress can help in achieving them.

What is the issue with relying too much on dopamine-incentive systems in a company?

Over-reliance on dopamine-incentive systems can lead to addiction to performance, selfishness, and a lack of cooperation, which may hinder company growth.

How do serotonin and oxytocin differ from endorphins and dopamine in terms of their effects on behavior?

Serotonin and oxytocin are selfless chemicals responsible for trust, loyalty, and cooperation, unlike endorphins and dopamine which are more selfish and short-term.

What is the role of serotonin in reinforcing relationships within a group?

Serotonin, often associated with pride and status, works best when shared and reinforces relationships between individuals, such as parent and child or leader and follower.

Why is physical contact important for the production of oxytocin?

Physical contact is important for oxytocin production because it creates a sense of safety, trust, and loyalty, which are essential for social bonding and cooperation.

What is the effect of cortisol on our behavior and health?

Cortisol, the stress hormone, can inhibit the production of oxytocin and other growth functions, leading to a constant state of self-preservation that can negatively impact health and well-being.

How does the speaker suggest we should approach criticism in a workplace?

The speaker suggests that criticism should be done in person or over the phone to show respect and build trust, rather than through impersonal emails.

What is the significance of a leader's willingness to sacrifice for their people?

A leader's willingness to sacrifice for their people builds trust and loyalty, and is rewarded with the followers' commitment to the leader's vision and goals.

How does the balance of testosterone and oxytocin affect leadership qualities?

Testosterone can inhibit oxytocin, reducing empathy, which is why traditionally male-dominated fields like policing or investment banking may struggle with empathy. However, a balance of these qualities is essential for effective leadership.

What is the role of the subconscious brain in problem-solving and decision-making?

The subconscious brain has access to a vast amount of information and experiences, allowing it to work on problems even when not actively thinking about them, leading to insights and solutions that may seem to come from nowhere.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Incentives and Chemicals in Human Behavior

The paragraph discusses how human organizations and bodies are driven by similar incentive systems. It explains that behaviors are directed through goal-setting and rewards, which are analogous to the body's chemical responses to stimuli. The human body uses four chemicals—endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—to incentivize actions beneficial for survival and cooperation. Endorphins mask physical pain, dopamine is associated with achieving goals, serotonin with status and pride, and oxytocin with social bonding and trust. The speaker emphasizes the importance of creating a 'circle of safety' to encourage trust and cooperation, which are natural human inclinations.

05:00

🏆 The Role of Serotonin in Leadership and Status

This section delves into the role of serotonin as a leadership chemical, responsible for feelings of pride and status. It highlights how public recognition boosts serotonin levels, reinforcing social hierarchies and the relationships between leaders and followers. The speaker uses examples such as company events and public acknowledgment to illustrate how serotonin motivates individuals to perform for the recognition and to reciprocate the sacrifices made by others. The paragraph also touches on the innate human tendency to form hierarchies and the natural deference shown towards perceived 'Alpha' individuals.

10:01

🤝 The Power of Oxytocin in Building Trust and Loyalty

Oxytocin is described as the chemical behind love, trust, and loyalty. The paragraph explains how physical contact and social interactions stimulate oxytocin production, creating feelings of safety and confidence. It discusses the importance of oxytocin in business relationships, where trust is crucial for successful collaborations. The speaker argues that leadership involves making sacrifices for the team, which in turn earns loyalty and hard work from followers. The paragraph also suggests that oxytocin can enhance problem-solving abilities and make individuals more generous, ultimately contributing to a happier and healthier community.

15:03

🚨 The Impact of Chronic Stress on Health and Performance

The paragraph addresses the negative effects of cortisol, the stress hormone, on human health and behavior. It contrasts the short-term survival benefits of cortisol with the long-term detrimental effects of chronic stress, which can lead to anxiety, tension, and a range of health issues. The speaker explains how a lack of trust in organizations can lead to constant low-grade stress, inhibiting the positive effects of oxytocin and impairing immune function. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of trust and safety in creating a healthy work environment and preventing the adverse health effects associated with stress.

20:04

🤔 The Interplay Between Conscious and Subconscious Thought

This section explores the differences between conscious and subconscious thought processes and their respective roles in decision-making. The speaker explains that while the conscious brain processes limited information, the subconscious has access to a vast reservoir of experiences and learnings. It discusses how posing questions to oneself can trigger the subconscious mind to work on problems, leading to 'Eureka' moments during moments of relaxation. The paragraph also touches on the importance of experiences and interactions in filing away knowledge that the subconscious can later access.

Keywords

💡Safety

Safety in the context of the video refers to a psychological state where individuals feel secure and protected within their environment, leading to trust and cooperation. It is central to the theme as it underpins the natural human reaction to cooperate when feeling secure, as opposed to exhibiting cynicism and self-interest when feeling threatened. The script discusses how creating a 'circle of safety' is crucial for fostering positive behaviors within an organization.

💡Trust

Trust is a fundamental concept in the video, defined as the reliance on the integrity, strength, or ability of others. It is tied to the video's theme by illustrating that trust is a natural disposition humans seek and that it is produced by certain chemicals in the body, such as oxytocin, which promotes cooperation and loyalty. The script emphasizes the power of trust in creating a sense of belonging and its importance in organizational behavior.

💡Cynicism

Cynicism is portrayed as a natural reaction when individuals do not feel safe amongst their own. It is the opposite of trust and cooperation, leading to paranoia and self-interest. In the video's narrative, cynicism is a behavior that organizations should aim to minimize by creating a safe environment that fosters trust instead.

💡Self-interest

Self-interest is described in the script as a behavior that emerges when people do not feel safe. It is a focus on one's own concerns or benefits without regard for others. The concept is relevant to the video's theme as it contrasts with the cooperative behavior that arises from a sense of safety and trust within a group or organization.

💡Chemicals of Happiness

The 'chemicals of happiness' refers to four specific neurotransmitters—endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—that are associated with feelings of happiness, accomplishment, love, trust, and friendship. These chemicals are central to the video's message, as they incentivize behaviors that are beneficial for survival and cooperation, such as seeking a sense of belonging and working towards goals.

💡Endorphins

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that the body produces in response to pain or stress, such as during exercise, to mask discomfort. In the video, endorphins are mentioned as one of the 'chemicals of happiness,' but their primary purpose is to provide relief from physical pain, such as the 'runner's high' experience.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with feelings of pleasure and reward. In the script, dopamine is linked to the accomplishment of goals and the motivation to achieve them. It is described as the chemical that drives individuals to focus on targets and metrics, which can be both beneficial and detrimental, as it may lead to an addiction to performance.

💡Serotonin

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well-being and confidence. The video describes it as the 'leadership chemical,' which is associated with pride and status. It is produced through public recognition and reinforces relationships, encouraging individuals to work hard to make those who have sacrificed for them proud.

💡Oxytocin

Oxytocin, often referred to as the 'love hormone,' is a neurotransmitter that promotes trust, loyalty, and social bonding. The script highlights oxytocin as a 'selfless chemical' that is crucial for creating a sense of safety and fostering cooperative behaviors within groups, which is essential for effective leadership and organizational success.

💡Cortisol

Cortisol is a hormone associated with the body's stress response. In the video, it is described as an 'early warning alarm system' that is designed to keep us alive during dangerous situations. However, when cortisol levels remain elevated due to chronic stress or low-grade anxiety in an organization, it can inhibit the production of oxytocin and lead to negative health effects, illustrating the detrimental impact of a lack of safety and trust.

💡Leadership

Leadership in the video is portrayed not as a rank but as a choice that involves sacrifice and the willingness to put the needs of others before one's own. Good leaders are those who can create a circle of safety, fostering trust and cooperation, and are rewarded with loyalty and hard work from their team. The script emphasizes the importance of leaders being able to make difficult decisions that prioritize the well-being of their people over short-term gains.

Highlights

The human body and organizations share similar incentive systems that direct behavior through chemical responses.

Four chemicals—endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—govern our feelings of happiness and drive our behaviors.

Endorphins are primarily for masking physical pain, with laughter being a modern trigger for their release.

Dopamine is associated with the feeling of accomplishment and the drive to achieve set goals.

Visual representation of goals is crucial for directing dopamine and maintaining focus on targets.

Metrics should be used to track progress, not to become an obsession that can lead to selfish behaviors.

Serotonin is linked to leadership, pride, and status, and is reinforced through public recognition.

Leadership involves a balance of enjoying earned perks and being willing to make sacrifices for the group.

Oxytocin is the chemical behind love, trust, and loyalty, and is essential for cooperative behaviors.

Physical contact is a direct way to increase oxytocin levels and foster a sense of safety and trust.

Business is fundamentally about human relationships and finding circles of safety within which to operate.

Leaders must choose between sacrificing people for the sake of numbers or protecting people at the expense of numbers.

Cortisol is the stress hormone that, when chronically elevated, can inhibit oxytocin and lead to health issues.

Leadership styles differ between genders, with women often having an inherent advantage in empathy and care.

The balance between testosterone and oxytocin influences the level of empathy and cooperation in social dynamics.

The subconscious mind has access to a vast amount of information and experiences, which can provide solutions to posed problems.

Curiosity, experience, and social interaction are vital for filing away knowledge and accessing it when needed.

The neocortex and limbic system work together to balance rational thought with emotional responses and behaviors.

Transcripts

[Music]

[Music]

when we feel safe amongst our own the

natural reaction is trust and

cooperation when we do not feel safe

amongst our own the natural reaction is

cynicism paranoia and

self-interest so the question is how do

you create a circle of safety as it

turns out the human body is built the

exact same way as any organization if we

want to direct the behavior of people

inside our organization what do we do we

develop all sorts of incentive systems

we give them a Target we give them a

goal we offer some sort of bonus and

what do people do they work towards the

goals that we set we direct their

behavior it works perfectly effectively

it works the same way with children we

give them gold stars and we get them to

do the things that we want it works

perfectly fine inside the human body are

certain

incentives that work exactly the same

way and if you've ever had a feeling of

Pride status accomplishment love trust

friendship loyalty all of these feelings

that I'll generically call

happiness are basically produced by four

chemicals inside our bodies they are

endorphins

dopamine serotonin and oxytocin Edo

every single feeling that we basically

know as happiness is controlled by these

four chemicals and what they're trying

to do is incentivize us to get us to

repeat behaviors that in our that are in

our best interest in other words to get

us to cooperate to get us to trust it is

our natural disposition to want to trust

and cooperate and we're always looking

for it which is why the sense of

belonging is so powerful we're always

seeking out people who are like us we

want to be next to people who are like

us the first chemical endorphins we've

all heard of an endorphin rush a

runner's high endorphins have one

purpose and one purpose only to mask

physical pain that's it in our modern

day and age with supermarkets and cars

we don't really use endorphins for

survival much

anymore but there are other ways you can

get endorphins laughing for example when

we laugh it's actually an endorphin rush

you're actually convulsing your internal

organs and so endorphins are released to

mass that pain we've all had the

experience where we laugh so hard we say

stop stop it hurts it's cuz the

endorphins have run

out dopamine dopamine is the feeling you

get when you find something you're

looking for or you accomplish a goal you

set out to accomplish you know that

remarkable feeling you get when you

cross something off your to-do

list that's dopamine this is why we are

told that you must write down your goals

if you want to achieve them if you don't

write down your goals you you won't

achieve your goals there's some truth to

this we're very VIs visual animals you

have to be able to see the

Target and then it directs the dopamine

directs us to stay focused on that

Target the whole idea of metrics is to

count progress to make us feel like

we're making progress towards the goal

we're not supposed to be obsessed with

the metrics we're supposed to be

obsessed with the destination metrics is

Sly simply a way to help us feel like

we're getting towards it this is why we

have a vision statement they call it a

vision statement because you have to be

able to see it

so that it focuses us towards that

Vision the problem is most vision

statements are absolutely useless it's

because they're abstract and we can't

imagine them in our Mind's Eye we can't

see them you know so many vision

statements are to be the biggest to be

the best to be the fastest to be the

most respected respected by whom your

mother you can't understand this what if

I were to tell you you'll get a bonus if

you accomplish more how much more you

ask me more doesn't work we're no good

with the abstract we need things to be

specific we need to be them we we need

them to be visual most of the incentive

systems that we have built inside our

companies are dopamine incentive systems

they're individual incentives we give

people a Target and we offer them a

bonus and we offer them that is the

primary means we drive behavior and so

what happens is people will do exactly

what we want and they will work for the

dopamine and they'll hit the first

Target and we'll give them another bonus

and we'll hit the second Target and you

can become addicted you can actually

become addicted to Performance you can

actually become addicted to making the

numbers inside a company and the problem

is like all Addiction in time you

actually waste resources waste time and

destroy relationships ironically it is

not the best way to get a company to

grow and the reason is is because

dopamine and endorphins are selfish

chemicals you don't need anyone's help

to get them go for a run work your to-do

list get your goals set you're good to

go you don't need any's help you can do

it by yourself the problem is the

feelings don't last

they're very short term you lose them

quickly as soon as you achieve something

nobody here is excited about the numbers

they hit four years ago it's gone on to

the next and this is the problem this is

the problem we actually work against

each other too much dopamine in the

system we actually become more selfish

not more selfless and as we know from

the circle of safety as we know our best

opportunities are to work together to

face the dangers outside and seize the

opportunities not to work by ourselves

this is why the other two chemicals

exist serotonin and oxytocin are the

selfless chemicals they are the social

chemicals they are the chemicals

responsible for trust and loyalty and

cooperation without these chemicals we'd

all be working by ourselves and we would

not do very well we're not very good by

ourselves the first one serotonin is the

leadership

chemical it's this feeling of Pride it's

the feeling of status it's the feeling

leaders have this is why they walk like

this right it's responsible for

self-confidence as well right if you

think about the ways to get serotonin

one of the ways to get serotonin is

public recognition this is why events

are very important public events company

events are very very important right

it's because when we put a room of our

peers together and we single somebody

out it's just like to single out Peter

Peter can you stand up please great job

on the meeting today we just want to say

thank you you did a superb job Peter

feels good he feels his status Rising

feels valuable you know we all want to

feel valuable amongst our own tribe we

all want to feel that our work is valued

by our peers and our bosses and so when

we have it pointed out publicly amongst

the group it actually makes us feel good

and valuable and others see us as

valuable and we feel our status rise we

feel proud and it builds our confidence

serotonin works best when it's shared

what it's attempting to do is reinforce

the relationship between parent and

child coach and player

boss and employee leader and follower

it's attempting to reinforce the

relationship between the person who

sacrifices so that you may gain and the

person who's the recipient of your

sacrifice and we like to work hard

because we want to make those who

sacrificed for us we want to make them

proud We want them to feel that their

sacrifice was worth it that's why when

we give an award to somebody the first

person they thank is God their parents

their boss their coach whoever sacrific

so they could achieve something on this

great day it's the first person they

thank I couldn't have done it without

their support their love their sacrifice

and if we give it to the boss or the

coach we give them an award they stand

up there and what's the first person

who's the first person they thank

couldn't have done it without my team

they say and the team sits there and

goes we love

you and it's shared and what we do is we

work hard for each other the person

who's responsible and in the in charge

is reinforced at Contin to give and see

that that they will achieve something

great and we continue to work hard to

make them proud and prove to them that

their sacrifice was worth it we don't

want to let people down we're not

accountable to numbers we're accountable

to people we're constantly assessing and

judging each other who's Alpha who's

beta who's dominant to us it's not a

fixed standard it's a relative standard

if you've ever met someone and you're

nervous meeting them you're not the

alpha we've all had the experience where

someone's met us and we can sense that

they're nervous meeting us you're the

alpha right we're constantly judging and

assessing each other we're hierarchical

animals you can't put a group of people

in a room and say you guys are all

equals it doesn't work that way we

always self-organize and the reason is

because when we assess that someone is

Alpha to us we voluntarily take a step

back and allow them to eat first our

leaders get first choice of meat and

first choice of

mate we may not get the best choice of

meat but we get to eat eventually and we

don't get an elbow in the face good

system to this day we are perfectly

comfortable with somebody more senior

than us getting preferential treatment

not a single person in this room has a

problem with somebody more senior than

you making more money than you doesn't

bother us at all we might think they're

an idiot but it doesn't actually bother

us that they make more money nobody has

a problem with somebody more senior

having a better parking space or a

bigger office it doesn't bother us in

fact we sometimes expect it it's because

we're proud to do things and shows uh

deference to those more alha than us

those that we have judged as Alpha and

if you're the recipient of that

difference if you're the one called Sir

or ma'am if you're the one who gets

given a cup of tea as soon as you walk

into the room even though you didn't ask

for it if somebody holds the door for

you or carries your luggage for you or

you're the one making more money and

enjoying all the perks you feel the love

you feel valued by your tribe you feel

the serotonin you feel your confidence

rise and it feels good

this is why we're all trying to Vie to

raise our status in the society because

it feels good it comes with certain

perks it's good to be the

king and you should enjoy those

perks

however they don't come for free there's

a cost for being the leader you

see as a Marine Corps General told me

the cost of leadership is self-interest

and he's right you see the group is not

stupid yes we gave our Alpha

this preferential treatment yes we gave

them first choice of meat yes we gave

them first choice of mate yes we show

them all this difference and they get

all that confidence as a result of all

the serotonin and the reason is because

when danger threatens the tribe we

expect the person who's actually

stronger who's actually better fed and

who's actually filled with all that

additional confidence to rush towards

the danger to protect us that's the cost

of leadership that's why we gave them

first choice of mate because they might

die first and we want to keep their

genes in the gene pool we're not stupid

that's what leaders do they're willing

to take the risk and sacrifice their

perks or Comfort when it matters to

protect their people you should enjoy

all the perks you've earned them however

are you willing to sacrifice the numbers

to save the people or would you

sacrifice the people to save the numbers

only one of those choices makes you a

leader oxytocin oxytocin is everyone's

favorite chemical it's the feeling of

love it's the feeling of trust it's the

feeling of loyalty it's all the warm and

fuzzies unicorns and

rainbows like I said multiple ways to

get Mo oxytocin One

Way physical contact right this is why

children hold on to us makes them feel

safe it's why we hug the people we love

because it feels good it's why athletes

high

five it's why when someone's hurt or

someone's depressed we touch them we

kiss them on the forehead we rub their

leg leg and say they're there don't

worry it'll be okay we put we put our

hands on our friends shoulders when we

sense that they're tense cuz oxytocin

relaxes us and it makes us feel safe and

it makes us feel that someone's there

for us and it gives us the confidence to

try again because we know someone's

there you think business is about terms

and contracts it's not it's about our

pursuit to find Circles of safety

business is looking for Human

Relationships to find people around whom

we can feel safe and this is one of the

most valuable tools you have imagine

you're about to sign a deal with someone

and you come to sign the contract and

they say we're so excited and you say

we're so excited and you say great and

they say no no we don't need I don't

need to shake your hand let's just get

this contract signed and start the deal

and you go great and they say no no no

no I don't need to shake your hand let's

just do this I agree to all the terms

you just got all the terms you asked for

and yet their simple refusal to shake

your hand to create the human Bond of

trust means one of two things will

happen you will either Scuttle the deal

or you will go into it

nervous because they wouldn't shake your

hand oxytocin trust

safety if someone does a good job you

want to criticize somebody instead of

doing it on of email stand up walk

across the hallway knock on the door and

say nice job today and if you can't do

that pick up the telephone pick up the

phone and say hey just wanted to say

nice job and they'll say is that the

only reason you called and you go uh-huh

and they go wow

I've done it what it happen people are

amazed that you would spend the time

simply to say thank you or if there is a

criticism that you would spend the time

to pay them the the service to do it

yourself as opposed to on some email

leadership is a

sacrifice sometimes that sacrifice comes

in terms of your Comforts your profits

sometimes that sacrifice comes in terms

of your time and your energy and the

best leaders are the ones who are

willing to sacrifice for their people

leadership is a choice it is not a rank

I know many people at the top of

organizations who are not leaders and I

know many people at the bottom of

organizations who absolutely are

leaders and when you're willing to do

that and your people feel confident that

you would do that you are rewarded with

their love and their loyalty and they

will gladly give you their blood and

their sweat and their tears and

sacrifice themselves to see that your

vision is ADV

and the more oxytocin we have in our

systems the more good we want to do it

actually makes us more generous and as I

said before it it boosts our immune

system it makes us happier it makes us

healthier why because the human body is

desperately trying to get us to look

after each other the greatest feeling we

can get is when we do something nice for

each other on purpose so that we will do

nice things for each other and if we see

people do nice things for each other it

makes us want to do nice things for each

other why because the human body is

trying to get us to look after us

ourselves happy people live longer Happy

People oxytocin also does something to

the frontal lobe it makes you a better

Problem

Solver it makes you smarter when you

work amongst people with whom you

trust there's one more chemical I

haven't told you

about it's called

cortisol the big

CA cortisol is the feeling of stress it

is the feeling of

anxiety

it is the feeling of

tension it is the feeling you get when

you're not sure what's going to

happen cortisol is designed to do one

thing and one thing only keep you alive

it is an early warning alarm system the

problem is cortisol is not supposed to

stay in our systems it's supposed to

inject in our system Keep Us Alive at

this danger and then leave but when we

work in companies when we work in

environments in which there is low gauge

stress all the time because we don't

trust trust each other drip drip drip

someone comes to work and says I think

there's going to be redundancies today

and everybody goes what now everybody's

worried now everybody's paranoid now

everybody goes

tense and guess what nobody's getting

any work done that day because

everything is about stay alive stay

alive stay alive we react the exact same

way we become paranoid I knew I

shouldn't have spoken up in the meeting

oh I knew I shouldn't have done that

because we don't trust each

other we fear that our leaders would

sooner sacrifice us to save the numbers

and would never sacrifice the numbers to

save us if we just know that that's the

case and it happens every year drip drip

drip that's why we have stress at

work it's because there's this low grade

cortisol in our bodies at all

time there's a problem with that you see

cortisol is an oxytocin

inhibitor it doesn't want want us to be

empathetic when there's danger it wants

us to stay alive cortisol makes us

unbelievably

selfish

paranoid stressed tense it literally

inhibits the chemical that makes us

happier healthier and

empathetic to find all that extra energy

to make us paranoid and Keep Us Alive

cortisol has to turn things off

non-essential systems one of the systems

it turns off is growth we don't need

your fingernails to grow at the time of

danger it also turns off your immune

system it's not supposed to stay in your

system but when you have lowgrade

cortisol in your body what happens is it

screws with your immune system and so

all of these diseases cancer heart

disease diabetes are on the rise not

because of partially hydrogenated oils

or fizzy drinks our jobs are literally

killing

us this is the effect of bad leadership

we are literally shortening the lives of

the people who work for us we are giving

them cancer and diabetes and heart

disease and because they don't feel safe

we don't feel that they have our backs

and we're killing ourselves in the

process does this work differently with

in with gender are men and women wired

differently

um uh yes they are wire

differently uh women tend to be more

comfortable with this stuff uh because

it's

mushy and soft you know um it's not that

these things are mushy and soft it's

that just they're harder to measure

right the how do you measure the quality

of trust it's very hard how do you

measure if we made the numbers very easy

um

testosterone is an O is also an oxytocin

inhibitor this is why traditionally we

like men to be policemen I don't care

what your excuses you're coming with me

you know there's less empathy right men

have less empathy because of the

testosterone they do biologically they

have it's an oxytocin inhibitor which is

why when you have oh like an investment

Bank a lot of men and a lot of machismo

and a lot of competition it really can

be quite destructive um if there's bad

leadership you have it in the military

as well and it's not as destructive

because there's good

leadership um um so yes women tend to be

better at this I I actually believe that

we need more it's not that we need more

female leaders per se it's that we need

more leaders who like females females

just have an inherent Advantage you know

traditionally leadership has been male

leadership aggression make the numbers

Unapologetic make decisions right and

yet the balance of the chemicals which

tend to be more traditionally female

qualities things like empathy gratitude

patience care um are things that are

very important in all genders and all

leaders women have an

advantage um of those so it's once again

it's about balance I tend to believe

that great leaders actually come in

pairs mom and dad you know um you know

when we when we when we when we achieve

something great in our careers it makes

our fathers proud when we're good people

it makes our mothers proud right and so

I tend to believe good leaders even in

companies tend to come in pairs you tend

to have the more Visionary empathetic

people focus you tend to have the more

operator let's get this done let's

measure everything and it's the tension

of the two that actually make it very

functional it creates balance yes Simon

thank you very much I a bit of a follow

on from the last one actually but um I'm

interested in the difference between or

the triggers between conscious thought

and the kinesthetic feelings yeah and

how they actually which which are the

alpha in there and which leads which and

how can you turn them on or off boy

these are hard

questions all of these chemicals are

produced in our lyic brains and our lyic

brains are responsible for our

feelings and it's responsible for all of

our behavior and decision making but it

is not responsible for rational and

analytical thought and it's not

responsible for language we share the

lyic brain and all these chemicals with

all the social mammals we're all the

same we have a neocortex which is our

Homo Sapien brain which gives us the

capacity for rational and analytical

thought and language the the problem

with being human the problem with the

neocortex is that we want to make sense

of everything and we want to explain

everything and so when we have a feeling

where a gazelle just reacts to the

feeling we want to figure out where the

feeling's coming from you know and so

this can drive us mad right and it and

it can actually feed it good or bad we

create stories in our heads that can

really make it quite maddening um what's

quite remarkable about the conscious and

subconscious brains if you will the

conscious brain has access to the

equivalent of four feet of information

around you so this is the information we

access when we have uh brainstorming or

we do the pros and the cons or we think

about the problem or we access our

expertise right this is our conscious

brain the subconscious brain has access

to the equivalent of 11 acres of

information in other words every lesson

you've ever learned every experience

you've ever had gets stored away and the

reality is the value of the

brainstorming session is actually not

the brainstorming session it's the

asking of the question because your

subconscious brain will continue to

think about things not really think but

think about things even when you're not

thinking about them right but if the

question's never asked it won't

so the value of the brainstorming is the

posing of the question and then when

you're lying in bed or go for a run or

in the car or in the shower all of a

sudden you go oh my God that's the

answer right they come from nowhere they

didn't come from nowhere it's because

your brain is always working out

problems and posing the problem at work

and then allowing it to to sit allows

your brain to go into all those other

experiences you've had and know what to

do this is why experiences and curiosity

and talking to each other really matters

because you will file these things away

and you will access them when you need

them