Stop Rejecting Your Trauma & How It Changed You | Naftali Moses
Summary
TLDRThe speaker explores the theme of personal growth through confronting and understanding one's traumas. They argue that avoiding pain and trauma prevents true maturity and self-awareness. By embracing rather than running from our past experiences, we can discover our purpose and contribute meaningfully to the world. The talk encourages viewers to face their inner darkness, suggesting that doing so can lead to a profound sense of identity and fulfillment.
Takeaways
- 🌱 Pain is often rejected because it contains a lot of love and is a part of growth and maturity.
- 🌟 The key to personal development is to investigate and understand one's traumas without identifying with them.
- 🔍 Facing what we refuse to face is crucial because it often challenges our value and fears, which are directly related to our purpose.
- 💔 Avoiding traumas can lead to a life of emptiness, void, and despair, and can affect future generations if not addressed.
- 🤔 Having a relationship with your traumas is essential for truly understanding yourself and your potential contributions to the world.
- 🏃♂️ Running from the beliefs created by traumas only confirms them and prevents personal growth and self-discovery.
- 🎭 Life is not linear; facing and integrating past traumas is part of the hero's journey and can lead to freedom and self-realization.
- 🌌 Opening oneself to something greater than personal experiences and traumas can lead to a deeper understanding of one's purpose and identity.
- 🤝 Embracing and integrating traumas can transform them from a source of pain into a source of strength and fulfillment.
- 🌐 The universe and eternity are connected to us, and recognizing this can help us see beyond our traumas and insecurities.
- 🙏 Gratitude for sufferings and struggles can lead to a profound understanding of one's identity and purpose in life.
Q & A
What is the main idea discussed in the video script?
-The main idea is the importance of facing and understanding one's traumas as a path to personal growth and self-actualization, rather than avoiding them and letting them define one's identity.
Why does the speaker suggest that pain is often rejected despite its potential for love and growth?
-The speaker suggests that pain is rejected because it challenges our sense of self-worth and requires maturity to let go of immaturity. It's a difficult process that involves confronting our deepest fears and insecurities.
What does the speaker mean by 'investigating your traumas'?
-Investigating your traumas means examining the experiences that have caused you pain or distress without identifying with them, to understand their impact on your life and how they shape your behavior and beliefs.
According to the speaker, what is the relationship between traumas and one's purpose on Earth?
-The speaker posits that traumas are directly related to one's purpose on Earth, as they can reveal what you are good at and are supposed to do. Facing these traumas can help you understand your true calling and contribute meaningfully to the world.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of not identifying with one's traumas?
-Identifying with traumas can prevent individuals from seeing their true selves outside of those experiences. It can lead to a limited understanding of one's identity and potential, and can perpetuate a cycle of pain and suffering.
What is the 'hero's journey' the speaker refers to, and how does it relate to facing traumas?
-The 'hero's journey' is a narrative pattern where the protagonist faces a significant challenge or conflict, often involving a return to a place of past trauma. It relates to facing traumas by illustrating the process of confronting and overcoming personal demons as a path to growth and self-discovery.
What role does the speaker believe traumas play in shaping an individual's identity?
-The speaker believes that traumas play a significant role in shaping an individual's identity, often influencing their beliefs, behaviors, and sense of self. However, it's crucial to face and understand these traumas to avoid让他们define who you are.
How does the speaker connect the idea of Divinity or a higher power to dealing with traumas?
-The speaker suggests that opening oneself to a sense of Divinity or a higher power can provide a broader perspective and a deeper understanding of one's experiences, including traumas. This connection can offer a sense of purpose and meaning beyond personal suffering.
What does the speaker mean by 'the emptiness behind the relationship you're in'?
-The speaker is referring to the feeling of void and disconnection that can arise when one avoids confronting their traumas. This avoidance can lead to unfulfilling relationships and a lack of genuine connection with others.
Why does the speaker argue that facing traumas can lead to a more meaningful and loving life?
-The speaker argues that facing traumas allows individuals to understand and integrate these experiences into their lives in a healthy way. This process can lead to personal growth, self-acceptance, and the ability to form deeper, more meaningful relationships with others.
What is the final message the speaker wants to convey about embracing and integrating traumas into one's life?
-The final message is that embracing and integrating traumas into one's life is not about being defined or controlled by them, but rather using them as guides for personal growth and self-understanding. This process can lead to a life of fulfillment, purpose, and genuine love.
Outlines
🌱 Embracing Pain for Growth
The speaker emphasizes the importance of facing and understanding one's traumas as a crucial step in personal growth. They argue that pain, often rejected, is a significant source of love and maturity. The speaker encourages the audience to investigate their traumas without identifying with them, suggesting that avoiding these experiences can hinder self-understanding and one's purpose on Earth. The narrative suggests that confronting fears, traumas, and insecurities is essential for personal development and can lead to a more meaningful life and relationships.
🔍 The Divine Within and Beyond Trauma
This paragraph delves into the concept of the Divine and its role in transcending personal traumas. The speaker suggests that personal development is limited without acknowledging a higher power or the interconnectedness of all existence. They propose that recognizing the Divine can lead to self-acceptance and the ability to heal from past traumas. The speaker also touches on the idea that people who deny the Divine often remain trapped in cycles of ego and personal pain, unable to achieve true growth or resolution. The narrative encourages seeking a deeper understanding of one's purpose and the transformative power of embracing rather than running from one's traumas.
💔 Healing Through Trauma Integration
The final paragraph focuses on the process of integrating trauma into one's life narrative as a means of healing and self-discovery. The speaker shares personal experiences and insights, suggesting that facing trauma head-on can lead to profound personal growth and a deeper understanding of one's identity. They advocate for a perspective where traumas are seen as shaping forces rather than defining characteristics, encouraging individuals to view their experiences as guides rather than masters. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of self-love and the integration of all aspects of oneself, including the painful ones, as a path to freedom and a more fulfilling life.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Pain
💡Maturity
💡Trauma
💡Identity
💡Divine
💡Confront
💡Insecurities
💡Healing
💡Significance
💡Embrace
💡Purpose
Highlights
The most rejected aspect with the most love is pain, which is a part of growing up and maturing.
People struggle with the concept of 'growing up' and letting go of immaturity.
There are three kinds of people: those who care, those who don't, and those who want to see the world burn.
Investigating one's traumas is essential for self-understanding and contribution to the world.
Facing the things we refuse to face is crucial because it challenges our value and identity.
Not having a relationship with your traumas means not having a relationship with yourself.
Running from beliefs created by traumas confirms and reinforces them.
As we age, we may find emptiness and despair in relationships and life if we avoid our traumas.
Traumas are relational and can shape who we are, affecting our relationships and self-perception.
Facing trauma requires courage and faith, much like a hero's journey in stories and films.
The hero's journey involves going back to face the dark representation of reality to grow.
Traumas can be seen as gifts that give us purpose and a reason for being here.
Childhood traumas, if unaddressed, can reappear in future generations.
Facing traumas can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and a more meaningful life.
The concept of the Divine or a higher power is necessary for understanding and integrating traumas.
People who reject the idea of the Divine may be trapped in a cycle of ego and trauma.
Understanding that the self is not limited by experiences and traumas can lead to personal growth.
Embracing traumas can lead to healing and setting oneself free from their control.
The most important belief is that traumas shape us but do not define us; they guide but do not control us.
Facing and embracing traumas can lead to a life of fulfillment and meaningful relationships.
The process of facing trauma is like an adventure that can uncover one's gifts and purpose.
By integrating traumas, we can bring light and understanding to our lives.
Transcripts
I think the one thing that we reject the most that has the most amount of love in it is pain
you know we weren't born adults it's a lot to let go of and a lot of maturity to create and
a lot of immaturity to let go of and for anybody who's really struggling with when do I grow up
it's once you put childish things away you better be real about what's childish too is you won't be
left with much if you get rid of everything right today I'm going to talk to you about one of the
most important powerful things in your life and I think you may have noticed this that there are
three kinds of people people that care people people that don't care than people that want to
see the world burn now for the people that care and this is going to be for those that really
want to understand themselves better and what they can contribute to the world the one most important
thing in your life is going to be investigating your traumas not identifying with them so the
things that are the most important for us to face are the ones that we refuse to face and
I'll tell you why because sometimes it challenges your value you go oh no your fears your traumas
and your insecurities all of these things are directly related to what you're supposed to do
here on planet Earth to who you are to what you're even good at and somehow we refuse to
face them the most so I want to start this off by saying you know if you don't have a relationship
with your traumas then you really don't have a relationship with yourself if you keep identifying
with your traumas then you never know who you are outside of them so the whole point of this
is realizing something that's going to change your life and listen to this if you keep running from
the beliefs that were created from the traumas that you've experienced then you just confirm
them as you create create a new character of who you are that not those things and as you get older
you'll find the meaninglessness behind the thing that you do the emptiness behind the relationship
you're in and the absolute void and despair that you experience on a silent level in the midst of
your throne perhaps I realized this my in my life which is what did my insecurities make
me believe what did my traumas make me believe well my traumas were really relational traumas
meaning things that I experienced with women and with my parents and how that affected me and you
know here's a nice word for a trauma pain that you refuse to face that has shaped who you are
that you're afraid to find you so there's a lot of pain in the experiences that you have so you
need to be courageous in order to face it right but you also need a lot of faith when going back
and this is the whole thing that most people live their life linearly and they forget the way that
you set yourself free and the so-called people is by going back it's every hero's journey and and
every movie we've watched that has spoken to our soul it's not the hero has a traumatic life and
his village gets burnt down by this Evil dark lord of sorts who's acquainted to his family
it's like the fable stories of the video games if you ever play them it's really like Star Wars
in a lot of ways and all the great film that we watch nowadays that has shaped our culture We
Begin realizing that it's about going back to that place being able to face that dark representation
of reality whatever it is and to grow up past us rejecting them determining whether it's bad
or good the thing is that if we never get to go back and we never get to face it for what it is we
never get to see what it shaped us has to become if you guys have ever seen Samurai Jack and I feel
like that's the first thing that's coming to mind here it's quite childish when I mentioned it but
this was the thing that I grew up with and it was something that changed my life because I was able
to understand that you know his his his village was destroyed by a coup right and he's supposed
to be this demon Overlord that seeks destruction but also there's this somehow deep relationship
between Jack and him because it shaped Jack to be who he is when we have a level of immaturity and
we start playing the victim in relationship to things that happen we never get to see why we're
here we rob the world of the Divinity that it needs from you so you almost run away from the
responsibility of your life you become a Jona type no matter how many times you get thrown overboard
swallowed by a fish or spit out you're face of the responsibility that's required and perhaps maybe
even experiencing the pain of what happened as an adult and so this is something that I've noticed
that if people go years and years and years without confronting their childhood traumas those
childhood traumas just show up in their children and in the future generation if those wounds
don't go all dressed then who heals them you live with a silent expectation that others need to do
or you live with a delusion that nobody needs to talk about them nobody needs to share them
so what's the best thing that you can do well start addressing how these things have affected
you without the frame of this broke me there was a client I was working with and it was one of the
most difficult clients I worked with because of how much it felt like it defined her and as I
kept going deeper and it was like when your father would hurt you and and when and when you were told
these things about you and when as you got older people said those things as an adult you separated
yourself from the experience and you actually avoid that and now this is the danger here as
human beings things that you do not face go in the back end and begin to function there so let's just
say you've experienced a traumatizing childhood Beyond anybody's comprehension the real question
you need to ask yourself when facing this is does that mean anything or am I just broken by life and
so here's a very powerful framework for you guys to understand and I'd like to draw it out but I
could really just give you an understanding of it this way people who refuse the idea of the Divine
in their life are just left with a game of pass between their ego their personal experiences and
their traumas so no matter how big you get that Circle no matter how much personal development
you learn no matter how much I don't know whatever religious teachings you try to seek it's the same
conclusions you've you've never actually moved past it you've just made wider circles arriving
to the same conclusions meaning that you haven't changed so at what point does somebody change well
when they open themselves to something more than themselves meaning that perhaps maybe the self is
not just composed of your experiences and your traumas perhaps that if you looked at it this
way there's all of the universe and Eternity that you were connected to or else your life
would mean nothing and you're death would be the end a very linear life but one that opens
up themselves to the existential value something that we understand all of reality to be connected
to cuz it's something interesting how could you connect to the Stars if you don't have them within
you how could you look at the beauty around around you and feel a connection with it if you didn't
have that in you how could you love if you didn't have love in yourself and all of these questions
by the way are really Divine Concepts and you know I'm kind of noticing how I'm really trying to open
you guys up to the necessity for Divinity in your life necessity for God a necessity for something
more than yourself and I often notice that the people who have a foundation to receive that
and see that the self is not limited by the experiences and traumas open themselves up to
aspects of themselves that are more powerful than they could ever imagine that show up in the shadow
and also set others free from their own captivity of their ego and themselves so in my life you know
I didn't want to face the insecurities that I had well the traumas that I had what were the
traumas you'll never be loved the same way you love others oh okay well let me run from that
until it pops up in all of my relationships and burns my life down you'll never be loved for who
you are why constantly rejected for my own nature and tendency perhaps how did that show up how did
it manifest in my life have a deeper understanding of it that's a very big thing if especially if you
want to start resolving your pain and your traumas and your behavior understood what hurt you without
you making it about you so that's the importance of it by the way which I noticed that most people
who reject God and are trying to find leverage and be God themselves often find themselves in
a self-referencing circle with their own traumas and insecurities as it just gets bigger and bigger
as they technically become a larger narcissist more arrogant more self-fulfilling and they never
become resolved it's like it defined them it's like the trauma one so you need an understanding
of purpose and I spoke about this in the last video and I and I really think there's a lot of
value there you know not only when you find peace you find your purpose but also when you make peace
with these parts of yourself realizing the purpose in it the purpose comes by your door and the
connection that you guys get from purpose is one that now not only makes your relationship another
head in the crowd it this is the person that you are made for as they are made for you and you
don't need to ask questions about it why because you're not delusional and looking for delusions
you're connecting with reality so for everybody who's experienced a trauma maybe later or earlier
in life I noticed the most powerful thing to understand is that it is given you the gifts
and it is a reason why you are here when these things begin to reoccur means that you need a
deeper connection with this aspect of yourself that you reject so you want to set yourself free
you want to live a life to where you are fulfilled you want to have a loving meaningful relationship
then you need to understand the parts of you that were traumatized so that you stop convincing
yourself that you're broken and perhaps maybe through the pain and the chaos is what sets you
free the love that you really seek and I mean this even in my life recently ending something with a
person I viewed as very significant every time I looked away from the pain and the Darkness that
showed me about reality I lost the love I lost it there's almost an overwhelming Sensation that
I get and this is something for when you've truly growing up you will say these words thank you God
for my sufferings and my struggles and I mean it I mean it you think of a life where you die
by the end of it you're not leaving with anything sometimes we deny ourselves the pain the sadness
the insecurities the traumas the fear and then we have nothing to say for ourselves because we
don't even know who we are it's one of the biggest questions I get nowadays whoa who am I an identity
crisis Beyond an identity crisis traumas have been told to something that inhibits you what if these
things release you help you find you and it's like you ever think about that you're born into a body
in a world that you don't understand surrounded by people who claim to love you and the one thing
that you really want is a sense of identity who am I the one thing that's most important you
reject the most because you're too afraid to face it because perhaps maybe it will confirm
your deepest darkest fears about who you are and what you're here to do and what is required from
you the trauma is the incorporation of darkness in your life that you need to integrate so that
you can bring the light it's the part of you that allows you to understand why you are here we don't
look at ourselves as defects as rejects you start beginning that the rejects that understand the
parts of themselves that they no longer reject become a functional force in the world and an
Irreplaceable one and an invaluable one meaning their value is irreplaceable so you begin to think
of life outside of your own centricity and you stop holding on to the pain you start feeling it
oh my god when your father would speak to you like that when he'd yell at you and make you feel small
how fall small you would feel how insignificant it made you but opposed to you facing that trauma
it's just much easier to just run away from that because maybe you're still chasing significance
and so it's paradoxical you want to escape the bubble you in you need to come down to the C core
of what allows that bubble to exist those bubbles need to be popped they need to be challenged those
insecurities need to be faced and light needs to be brought in and that's because you're going to
come in with that I think of my life and I think the only way to really describe it is through my
own personal experiences I wasn't aware of my own traumas what did that make me prone to searching
for it again to then pce it on the girl that hurt me no these things pop up in childhood and then
they show up in the girl that you're with because of your unaddressed mother wounds or daddy wounds
and they affected you a lot of the time we're afraid of going back there because we don't
want to hate the people we love remember they never wanted to hurt you you're just becoming
familiar with reality and how you can hurt others so perhaps if you want your love to matter begin
to care more about yourself and understand what that means to care about others is to go out of
your way to integrate the parts of yourself that can hurt others that's somebody that really loves
somebody that looks to control to learn about their nature that looks to understand how these
traumas have shaped them and some of the deepest love that you can ever get is actually on the
other side of you embracing the traumas that you have and you could heal them now of course
there's no such thing as completely eradicating it because then I just erase you as a person so
the most important belief that you can have is these shape me not Define me they guide me not
control me and a lot of the time we feel like we're controlled by it but perhaps maybe that's
what you should investigate maybe you should consider that this aspect of you has affected
you for the greater good so there's a there's a level of faith in going back and I noticed that
when I work with most people nowadays it's like they go back and they face the same conclusion
that they were a fade facing so they go on a three-day Journey a sum Marine trip down
to the Marina Trench to realize yep Dad was right worthless this is the hardest homework
I'm going to give you what if I told you to sit with it before you rejected it what if I told you
to investigate maybe the lining of the floor that says I'm worthless and to see if there's something
underneath it I think what sets most people free is when they're able to realize that they can be
loved for that not because it's an expectation but because they've showed up their whole life to make
sense of the things that have happened to them that they now embrace them live with them and that
is the action of love to listen to embrace it and to live with it that's loving that love sets you
free from the trauma that you've experienced every story that we know of a man of great achievement
and a person that has overcome has faced these parts of themselves has developed a relationship
with them and maybe that's what we're afraid of doing if I don't see it it's not there well
we're going to flip it on its ass if I face it I embrace it and I bring it into all aspects of
myself that show it's there I set myself free from it so the parts of you that perhaps that
you reject that you keep in those traumas about how the world is maybe this is the beginning of
an adventure by which you investigate your gifts and why you're here through your traumas let's
lead with it with an open end to something so much more that you're connected to and it will
no longer be what defines you it'll bring the fruit and the fullness to your life [Music]
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