what to do when you feel like doing nothing (unmotivated, burnt out, unproductive)

Summary

In this video, the speaker addresses the feeling of exhaustion and lack of motivation, advocating for a gentle approach to self-care. They suggest slowing down, surrendering control, and allowing oneself to heal without striving for productivity. The script offers advice on resting, self-love, shifting focus, seeking support, and embracing life's natural cycles. It also highlights the importance of gratitude and taking small steps towards action when ready.

Takeaways

• 😔 Feeling unmotivated and exhausted is a sign to slow down and be gentle with yourself, allowing for healing.
• 🌱 Surrendering control and expectations can be a form of self-care, promoting a return to a more feminine energy that values inward reflection and healing.
• 🧘‍♀️ Resting and doing nothing can be beneficial for the body and mind, as it allows the body's natural healing processes to take place without additional stress.
• 💖 Practicing unconditional love and self-acceptance is crucial, especially during times of low energy or motivation.
• 🔄 Shifting focus from negative to positive aspects of life can significantly change one's perspective and emotional state.
• 🗣️ Talking to a trusted person or seeking professional help like online therapy can provide necessary support during challenging times.
• 🚫 Avoiding content that worsens feelings of inadequacy or comparison can help maintain a healthier mental state.
• 🌳 Spending time in nature can offer spiritual healing and a reminder of the world's larger perspective.
• 🔁 Understanding life's cyclical nature can provide comfort, knowing that difficult times are temporary and will pass.
• 💪 Starting with small, manageable tasks can help rebuild motivation and momentum without overwhelming oneself.
• 🙏 Cultivating gratitude for even the smallest things in life can lead to a more positive outlook and appreciation for what one has.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the Lavendaire video script?

The main theme of the script is about dealing with feelings of exhaustion and lack of motivation, and the importance of slowing down, being gentle with oneself, and allowing for healing when feeling overwhelmed.

What does the script suggest as the best approach when feeling unmotivated?

The script suggests that when feeling unmotivated, the best approach is to slow down, be gentle on oneself, and allow oneself to heal rather than trying to be productive.

Why might someone feel like doing nothing according to the script?

The script suggests that someone might feel like doing nothing due to high expectations from themselves or others, overworking, or feeling a loss of control due to the world not meeting their expectations.

What role does the script suggest societal issues like the pandemic have on our motivation and energy levels?

The script implies that societal issues such as the pandemic can be disheartening, causing feelings of being hungover, unmotivated, and exhausted.

What does the script mean by 'surrender to our feminine'?

In the script, 'surrender to our feminine' refers to going inward, slowing down, healing, and loving oneself, as opposed to the masculine focus on productivity, achievement, and external success.

What is the first step the script recommends when feeling like doing nothing?

The first step recommended is to let oneself rest, remove any pressure to be or do anything, and simply exist without putting any expectations on oneself.

How does the script suggest practicing unconditional love towards oneself?

The script suggests practicing unconditional love by accepting oneself exactly as they are, being kind and gentle, and practicing self-forgiveness.

What is the significance of focusing on what is easy according to the script?

Focusing on what is easy, as suggested in the script, can make it easier to get through tough times and shift one's perspective away from what is hard or going wrong.

What does the script propose as an alternative to traditional face-to-face therapy?

The script proposes online therapy platforms like Betterhelp as an alternative to traditional therapy, offering professional counseling securely online that is accessible and convenient.

How does the script relate the concept of life cycles to dealing with low periods?

The script relates life cycles to the idea that life is always changing and going through different seasons, suggesting that tough times will pass and that embracing these cycles can lead to a deeper appreciation of the highs.

What advice does the script give for taking action when starting to feel better?

The script advises starting with baby steps, breaking down tasks into the smallest, easiest chunks, and releasing any expectations or pressure, while also congratulating oneself for small actions taken.

How does the script encourage finding gratitude during low periods?

The script encourages finding gratitude by writing a list of things one is grateful for, starting with sentences like 'I’m grateful…' or 'I’m blessed…', to shift focus and recognize the positive aspects of life.

Outlines

00:00

😌 Embracing Rest and Self-Care

The first paragraph discusses the importance of allowing oneself to rest when feeling unmotivated or exhausted. It emphasizes the need to slow down and be gentle with oneself during such times. The speaker suggests that instead of striving for productivity, one should surrender to the natural healing process of the body and mind. The paragraph also touches on the societal pressures and expectations that can lead to burnout, and the importance of shifting focus from external success to internal healing and self-love. It encourages viewers to practice unconditional love towards themselves, to accept their current state, and to change their perspective to focus on the positive aspects of life. Additionally, the paragraph introduces Betterhelp as a resource for professional online therapy, highlighting its convenience and affordability.

05:00

🌿 Nurturing Mental Health and Finding Balance

The second paragraph continues the theme of self-care by offering advice on how to cope with feeling low. It suggests avoiding content that may exacerbate negative feelings and instead seeking solace in nature, which can provide spiritual healing and a sense of peace. The speaker also discusses the cyclical nature of life, reminding viewers that all situations are temporary and will change over time. The importance of embracing both the highs and lows of life is highlighted, as these experiences provide depth and appreciation for one another. The paragraph concludes with practical advice on taking baby steps towards action, starting with small, manageable tasks and celebrating these achievements to build momentum and self-confidence.

10:02

🌱 Cultivating Gratitude and Trusting the Flow of Life

The final paragraph wraps up the video script by emphasizing the power of gratitude and the importance of trusting life's natural flow. It encourages viewers to find gratitude in even the smallest aspects of life, suggesting a journaling exercise to list things they are grateful for. The paragraph reassures viewers that it's okay to do nothing and to be gentle with oneself, as this is a necessary part of life's cycle. It also touches on the balance between masculine and feminine energies, advocating for a more inward-focused, allowing approach to life that complements the drive for achievement and productivity. The speaker invites viewers to follow their intuition and to embrace the idea that life will move forward even when they are not actively trying to make it happen.

Keywords

💡Productivity

Productivity refers to the efficiency with which an individual or system produces desired outcomes. In the context of the video, it is contrasted with the need to slow down and be gentle with oneself when feeling unmotivated. The script mentions that the best thing to do in a low state is the opposite of being productive, highlighting the importance of rest and self-care over pushing for external achievements.

💡Unmotivated

To be unmotivated means to lack the drive or enthusiasm to do something. The video discusses how to cope when feeling unmotivated, suggesting that it's a natural state that requires a different approach than trying to be productive. The script emphasizes the need to slow down and heal rather than striving for typical markers of success.

💡Healing

Healing is the process of becoming sound or healthy again. The video script encourages viewers to allow themselves to heal when feeling exhausted or unmotivated, suggesting that this involves resting and being gentle with oneself. Healing is presented as a necessary part of the cycle of life, where one must sometimes retreat in order to move forward.

💡Expectations

Expectations are beliefs about what will happen or what is considered necessary. The script discusses the pressure of high expectations, whether self-imposed or from others, as a potential cause of feeling unmotivated. It advises viewers to release these expectations and accept themselves as they are, which is key to the healing process.

💡Masculine and Feminine Energies

The video script uses the terms 'masculine' and 'feminine' to describe different types of energy or approaches to life. The masculine is associated with productivity, achievement, and control, while the feminine is linked to surrender, inward focus, and healing. The speaker encourages a balance, suggesting that embracing the feminine can be a way to cope with feeling overwhelmed by the masculine drive for success.

💡Surrender

Surrender in this context means to give up control and accept the current situation. The video emphasizes the importance of surrendering as a way to release control and expectations, allowing oneself to rest and heal. It is presented as a form of self-care and acceptance, rather than a sign of weakness or failure.

💡Rest

Rest is the action of relaxing, doing nothing, or taking a break from activity. The script repeatedly advises viewers to rest when they feel like doing nothing, suggesting that it is a form of self-care that allows the body and mind to recuperate. Rest is portrayed as an essential part of the healing process, not as a waste of time.

💡Self-love

Self-love is the practice of being kind and accepting towards oneself. The video encourages practicing unconditional self-love, which means accepting oneself exactly as they are, regardless of external circumstances or internal judgments. Self-love is presented as a crucial component of the healing process and a way to counteract feelings of inadequacy or failure.

💡Perspective

Perspective refers to the way in which things are regarded or considered. The script suggests that changing one's perspective can be a powerful tool for coping with feeling unmotivated. By focusing on what is easy or what is going right in one's life, rather than on difficulties, a person can shift their emotional state and feel better.

💡Gratitude

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation. The video script encourages viewers to find and express gratitude for the small things in life, as a way to shift focus from negative to positive aspects. Writing a list of things one is grateful for is presented as a practice that can help cultivate a more positive outlook and enhance well-being.

💡Cycles

Cycles refer to a series of events or actions that repeat in a regular, predictable pattern. The video uses the concept of life happening in cycles to convey the idea that change is constant and that difficult times are temporary. Embracing the cyclical nature of life is presented as a way to maintain hope and patience during periods of low motivation or exhaustion.

💡Intuition

Intuition is the ability to understand or know something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. The script suggests that following one's intuition is a way to navigate life, especially when feeling unmotivated. It implies that intuition can guide a person towards what they need, whether it be rest or action, and that it is important to listen to this inner voice.

Highlights

When feeling unmotivated, the best approach is to slow down and allow oneself to heal rather than forcing productivity.

The importance of self-compassion and not striving to get life together during low moments.

High expectations from oneself or others can lead to frustration and a sense of burnout.

The impact of societal and global events, such as the pandemic, on personal motivation and mental health.

The concept of surrendering to one's feminine energy to promote healing and self-love.

The challenge and ease of surrendering control and expectations to allow natural healing.

Rest as a crucial component for recovery, emphasizing the body's innate ability to heal itself.

Practicing unconditional love and acceptance towards oneself as a form of self-care.

The power of shifting focus and perspective to change one's emotional state.

The benefits of journaling to refocus attention on positive aspects of life.

The role of a support system and the option of online therapy for mental health support.

Avoiding content that exacerbates negative feelings and the importance of self-acceptance.

The healing effects of spending time in nature and its impact on one's spiritual well-being.

Understanding life's cyclical nature and the inevitability of change as a source of comfort.

The value of embracing life's highs and lows for a richer emotional experience.

Starting with small, manageable goals to rebuild momentum and self-confidence.

The practice of gratitude as a tool for finding positivity and contentment in life.

The importance of following one's intuition and allowing life to unfold naturally.

Transcripts

Sometimes, you just get tired.

I think I just want to do nothing and just read.

I literally want to do nothing.

Hello my loves, welcome back to Lavendaire.

Let’s talk about what to do

when you feel like doing nothing,

when everything feels exhausting

and you have no energy or motivation to do anything.

I know some of you want to hear tips on

how to be productive

when you’re feeling unmotivated,

but the truth is,

when you’re in this low state

the best thing you can do is 

the opposite of being productive

you have to slow down, be gentle on yourself,

and allow yourself to heal.

Don’t even try to get your life together.

Just allow yourself to be.

If you’re feeling this way,

it’s likely you have high expectations for yourself,

and you’re frustrated

because you haven’t been able to show up the way you wanted.

Or maybe others have high expectations on you

whether it's your parents or the people around you

or maybe you've been pushing yourself too hard,

taking too much on your plate

and burning yourself out.

Sometimes, we might feel this way because

we had expectations for what the world should be

or what our life should look like

and when that all fell short,

we lost our sense of control

and didn’t know how to handle it.

Honestly, even the pandemic

and seeing the ugly parts of society

can be really disheartening

and cause many of us to feel hungover,

unmotivated and exhausted.

In terms of energy,

we’ve been operating too much in our masculine,

focusing on productivity, achievement,

external success and control.

And now, our body and energy are telling us

we need to surrender to our feminine,

to go inward, slow down, heal and love ourselves.

Surrender is a key word here.

We have to release our feeling of control,

release our expectations on ourselves,

and accept ourselves as we are right now.

It’s both hard and easy at the same time.

It can be so hard to surrender,

but on the other hand, it’s so easy

because all you have to do is let go.

There’s no action needed.

Just, inaction.

So, what should you do when  you feel like doing nothing?

First of all, let yourself rest.

Remove any and all pressure to BE or DO anything.

Just exist.

Stop putting any expectations on yourself.

Understand that you probably feel burnt out or depleted

so just let your body and mind rest and recuperate.

I think it’s so ironic and magical

that when you’re unwell,

all you have to do is do nothing aka rest,

because your body is fighting hard for you.

Your immune system is doing the hard work,

and your body literally already knows what to do.

You don’t have to do anything.

Just sit back and allow your  body to balance and heal itself.

Secondly, give yourself love.

Be kind & gentle with yourself, no matter what.

Practice unconditional love.

Meaning give yourself love regardless of anything.

Love is accepting,

so accept yourself exactly as you are right now.

Don’t force anything, and practice self forgiveness

if you’ve been hard on yourself.

Wherever you are right now is OK.

Also, try shifting your focus

Don’t underestimate the power of changing your perspective.

We often feel low

because we’ve been focusing on the wrong or difficult things.

I learned this while doing the Liberation Kriya challenge.

When you focus on what is hard,

for example, the shoulder pain and shaking arms in that challenge,

you feel like giving up because it’s such a struggle.

But when you focus on what is easy, like breathing,

it makes it easier to get through the tough time.

So, instead of focusing on what is hard,

try focusing on what is easy.

Instead of focusing on what’s going wrong in your life,

focus on what is still going RIGHT.

Do this as a journaling exercise.

Actively choose where you turn your attention to,

because it matters

and it makes a huge difference in how we feel.

If you feel like you need more help,

talk to someone in your life that you trust.

We each need a support system in our lives

and our mental health suffers if we don’t have one.

Another option is to consider online therapy.

Personally I’ve used Betterhelp for the past couple of years.

Thank you Betterhelp for sponsoring this video.

Betterhelp is professional  counseling done securely online,

and available for clients worldwide.

Once you sign up,

Betterhelp will assess your needs

and match you with your own  licensed professional therapist.

On the app, you can message your counselor

or schedule a weekly video or phone session.

It’s really easy since everything is done online and on your own time.

What’s great is that it’s a minimal commitment,

you can switch therapists if you don’t like yours,

and you cancel anytime if you don’t like it.

It’s more affordable than traditional offline counseling

and financial aid is also available.

If you want to nurture your mental health with professional counseling,

try Betterhelp.

Visit betterhelp.com/aileen,

and join over 1 million people taking charge of their mental health

with the help of an experienced professional.

Since Betterhelp is sponsoring this video,

they’re offering the Lavendaire community 10% off your first month

just go to betterhelp.com/aileen.

The next piece of advice I have for you

when you’re feeling low is

stop consuming content that makes you feel worse.

This includes any content that makes you feel bad about yourself,

content that makes you compare yourself to others,

and even “positive or inspirational” content

because sometimes, it reminds you of what you’re unable to do right now.

Sometimes it can be hard to have a positive mindset about something,

and that’s okay.

Allow yourself to FEEL whatever it is you’re feeling right now.

Accept yourself, as you are.

If you want an instant refresh, you can also go into nature.

Being in nature heals you on a spiritual level.

You’re reminded of the stillness and ease in nature,

and that you’re just a small part of this bigger world.

When you’re out in nature, you feel small.

Here, you can revive your sense of peace.

It doesn’t have to be a major trip.

Just take a walk outside, go to a nearby park,

maybe go to the beach or the mountains, 

or even your local nursery.

I mean even going to your local home improvement store

where they have that outdoor nursery

can make you feel a little better

Because I feel like the energy of plants  and flowers can be so healing.

Next, understand that life happens in cycles.

Just like the cycle of the day, our moon, or our four seasons,

life also happens in cycles.

Change is the only constant.

This means that life never stays the same

and is always going through cycles or seasons.

Have you ever heard of the  saying “this too shall pass?”

whatever you’re going through, know that it will pass.

You might be going through a tough time right now,

but it won’t stay like this forever.

Your situation and feelings will change.

Just stay patient and persevere through this season.

Learn to embrace the cycles and seasons of your life.

Both the highs and the lows.

Because without the lows, there wouldn’t be highs, and vice versa.

It’s the depth and variety that allow you to feel the difference.

If you only knew day, but never knew night,

you would take the sun for granted.

You wouldn’t appreciate it as much.

It’s because you know night,

that you can appreciate the day, and vice versa.

Same with our emotions.

It’s because you’ve experienced the lows that you can deeply appreciate the highs.

Once you’ve given yourself rest

and you’re ready to take some action, start with baby steps.

Again, release any expectations

or pressure you might have for yourself.

Break down your tasks into the smallest, easiest chunks you can.

If you want to start exercising to nurture your health and boost your mood,

instead of setting a goal like,

“I want to workout for an hour everyday”

Set tiny goals like:

put on my workout clothes today, put on my shoes,

open a workout app, or step outside to walk for 5 minutes.

Do as much as you feel you can,

and congratulate yourself for those small actions.

We tend to want to be ambitious

and set these big goals for ourselves,

but when we don’t meet them, 

we feel like we’ve failed,

and we feel even worse about ourselves.

The better approach is to start small and give yourself grace.

A small effort is still an effort.

By doing this, you take the pressure off

and you’re building your stamina to be able to do more.

Lastly and importantly,

find gratitude in every little thing.

Get specific about all the small things in life you’re grateful for.

Open up your journal or word doc,

and start writing a list of sentences that begin with

“I’m grateful…” or “I’m blessed…”

I actually did this exercise last night and ended  

up writing over 900 words in a list that went on and on.

It’s funny how once you start focusing on gratitude,

more and more things pop up.

I wrote things like I’m blessed to have experienced 

music festivals and concerts pre-pandemic.

I’m blessed to have a big family with a lot of cousins.

I’m blessed to have a great relationship with my brother.

I’m blessed to have healed from emotional baggage in my past.

I’m blessed to be alive and healthy during a pandemic.

I hope these ideas were helpful to you,

it’s a gentle reminder that if you feel like doing nothing,

it’s okay to do nothing.

It’s okay to be gentle with yourself.

It’s okay to give yourself space to breathe, and to heal.

We all need it from time to time.

It’s part of our cycle.

Like I said, there’s both masculine and feminine energies.

Our world operates mostly on the masculine and we’re expected to do

and achieve and add value to the world.

But we can’t ignore the feminine energy

that wants us to go inward, to allow, to be.

I’m learning more and more the beauty of simply existing,

of least effort, not trying to achieve or do more,

but to do less and allow life to flow more naturally.

I think people worry that if you don’t do anything,

your life won’t move forward.

But that’s not true.

Just as your body knows how to heal itself when you do nothing,

your life will be guided forward and change will happen,

because change is ALWAYS happening  even if you’re not trying to.

All you have to do is follow your intuition.

And if you don’t know what it’s telling you, get quiet.

Maybe it’s telling you,

you need a break before I tell you what to do next.

Thank you so much for watching.

Please subscribe and leave a comment below with your thoughts.

Are you able to surrender and flow with ease?

Can you release those expectations you have on yourself?

Sending you so much love for your journey.

See you next time.

Bye!