The True Story Behind LEADERS EAT LAST
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares a profound experience of leadership and service, inspired by military values and a personal journey to Afghanistan. The narrative unfolds from a conversation about 'officers eat last' to witnessing a fallen soldier's return, highlighting the selfless commitment and deep bonds within the military. The story emphasizes the transformative power of surrendering to service and the strength found in community and love, which transcends into civilian life.
Takeaways
- 📚 The title 'Leaders Eat Last' originates from a conversation with a Marine, emphasizing the principle that leaders prioritize the needs of others before their own.
- 🏆 The military awards medals for self-sacrifice, contrasting with the business world where bonuses are given for actions that may involve sacrificing others for personal gain.
- 🎖️ The speaker's personal experience in Afghanistan with the Air Force provided a deep understanding of the sacrifices made by military personnel.
- 🛫 The speaker's journey involved traveling on various Air Force planes, including a C5 cargo plane and a KC-135 tanker, highlighting the logistical challenges faced by the military.
- 🚨 A rocket attack near the speaker's location in Bagram Airfield underscored the constant danger and the importance of maintaining calm under pressure.
- 🛌 The speaker's moment of panic and fear in Afghanistan led to a realization about the importance of purpose and service, especially in challenging situations.
- 🤝 The concept of 'true service' emerged as a willingness to serve those who serve others, which the speaker learned through a moment of surrender and acceptance.
- 💔 The emotional experience of bringing home a fallen soldier in a casket on a C-17 flight, and the solemnity of the military's farewell, deeply impacted the speaker.
- 🌈 The return to Andrews Air Force Base marked by a rainbow symbolized a sense of hope and completion of a difficult journey.
- 🗣️ The speaker's report to military headquarters about the experience in Afghanistan, including the emotional recount of the casket's return, demonstrated the supportive nature of the military community.
- ❤️ The power of love, community, and culture in the military was a central theme, with the speaker emphasizing the deep bonds and mutual respect among service members.
Q & A
What is the origin of the title 'Leaders Eat Last'?
-The title 'Leaders Eat Last' comes from a conversation the speaker had with a Marine who explained that 'officers eat last', a concept shared across the military.
What is the main theme of the opening story in 'Leaders Eat Last'?
-The opening story in 'Leaders Eat Last' is a war story that contrasts the sacrifices made by military personnel with the behavior of some in the business world.
Why did the speaker travel to Afghanistan with the Air Force?
-The speaker traveled to Afghanistan with the Air Force at the request of a general who wanted him to see the men and women perform their duty and understand what they do.
What was the purpose of the mortuary tour at Dover Air Force Base?
-The tour of the mortuary at Dover Air Force Base served as a stark reminder of the sacrifices made by fallen soldiers and set the tone for the speaker's deployment.
What challenges did the speaker face when trying to leave Afghanistan?
-The speaker faced the challenge of finding a flight to leave Afghanistan, as there were no other planes going in the direction needed until Tuesday, causing a moment of panic and fear.
How did the speaker cope with the fear of being stuck in Afghanistan?
-The speaker coped with the fear by surrendering to the situation, deciding to serve in any way possible, and finding a sense of purpose in being there.
What was the significance of the casket on the flight back to Germany?
-The casket on the flight represented a fallen soldier being brought home, and the speaker felt it was the greatest honor of his life to be part of this mission after learning about true service.
What was the emotional impact of the speaker's experience on the military personnel?
-The emotional impact was profound, as seen in the respect and honor shown to the fallen soldier, the tears and support among the military personnel, and the speaker's own deep reflections on service and community.
How did the speaker's experience in Afghanistan influence his understanding of leadership?
-The speaker's experience in Afghanistan deepened his understanding of leadership as a commitment to serve others, especially those who serve their country, and the power of community and culture built on love.
What was the reaction of the military personnel when the speaker shared his emotional story at the headquarters?
-The military personnel, including a four-star general, encouraged the speaker to continue sharing his story by saying 'go on,' showing support and understanding in a moment of emotional difficulty.
What did the speaker learn about the difference between the private sector and the military?
-The speaker learned that in the military, there is a strong sense of community, support, and love among personnel, as opposed to the private sector where individuals might be pushed aside during moments of emotional struggle.
Outlines
🇺🇸 Leadership Insights from Military Experience
The speaker begins by sharing the origin of the concept 'Leaders Eat Last' through a conversation with a Marine, emphasizing the importance of leadership that prioritizes the well-being of others. The narrative then shifts to a personal war story, highlighting the stark contrast between military and business practices, where the former rewards self-sacrifice for the benefit of others, while the latter often does the opposite. The speaker recounts a visit to Afghanistan with the Air Force, detailing the experience of witnessing an airdrop mission and the vulnerability and camaraderie felt during a rocket attack at Bagram Airfield.
😔 Fear and Surrender in a War Zone
The speaker describes the emotional turmoil of being stranded in Afghanistan, facing the fear of being unable to leave and the panic that ensues. This leads to a moment of surrender, where the speaker resigns to the situation and seeks to find a sense of purpose in serving the military personnel around them. The realization of the true meaning of service and the willingness to contribute in any way possible bring about a profound sense of calm and clarity. The unexpected opportunity to board a flight arises just as this realization is made, marking a turning point in the narrative.
🛫 Honor and Service on the Flight Home
The speaker recounts the solemn experience of boarding a flight carrying a fallen soldier's casket, an unscheduled mission that arose from the recent ceremony they had witnessed. The respect and honor shown by the Airmen towards their comrade are palpable. The flight is a quiet and reflective one, with the speaker finding themselves sleeping next to the casket, a moment of deep honor and connection to the concept of service. The journey continues with a medical evacuation flight, bringing wounded soldiers home, and an insightful conversation with a doctor about the profound difference between civilian and military medical missions.
🌈 Reflections and the Power of Community
In the concluding paragraph, the speaker shares their experience of reporting back to the military headquarters about their journey and insights. The recounting of the emotional journey, particularly the story of the fallen soldier, overwhelms the speaker, leading to a moment of support from a four-star general who encourages them to continue. This experience underscores the power of community, the strength of a culture built on love and support, and the profound impact of the military's sense of brotherhood and sisterhood. The speaker's final message is one of encouragement and support, embodying the spirit of resilience and the importance of community in overcoming personal struggles.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Leadership
💡Sacrifice
💡Service
💡Fear
💡Purpose
💡Resilience
💡Comradeship
💡Honor
💡Community
💡Insight
💡Emotions
Highlights
The concept of 'Leaders Eat Last' originates from a conversation with a Marine who emphasized the leadership principle that officers prioritize the needs of their troops over their own.
The speaker shares a personal story of visiting Afghanistan with the Air Force to witness military operations firsthand, gaining a deeper understanding of leadership and service.
An intense experience at Dover Air Force Base where fallen soldiers are received, setting the stage for the speaker's journey and introspection on leadership.
The realization of the stark difference between military and business practices, where the former rewards self-sacrifice for the greater good and the latter sometimes incentivizes sacrificing others for personal gain.
A harrowing account of a rocket attack at Bagram Air Base that hit close to where the speaker was, highlighting the immediate dangers faced by military personnel.
The profound moment of surrender and acceptance of helplessness that led to an overwhelming sense of calm and a desire to serve selflessly.
The transformative experience of being part of an airdrop mission in Afghanistan, witnessing the logistical efforts that support troops on the ground.
The emotional struggle of waiting for a flight out of Afghanistan and the panic that set in when it seemed there were no immediate options to leave.
The unexpected opportunity to board a plane carrying fallen soldiers, offering a deeply humbling and reflective moment for the speaker.
The solemn duty of bringing home a fallen comrade, and the honor the speaker felt being part of this sacred mission.
The silence and respect observed on the flight carrying the fallen soldier, contrasting sharply with the camaraderie and conversation on previous flights.
The speaker's emotional recounting of their experience to military brass, and the supportive response that underscored the military's culture of resilience and care.
The insight that true service involves choosing to serve those who serve others, a realization that came from the speaker's own moments of fear and surrender.
The importance of community, friendship, and a strong culture built on love, as illustrated by the military's response to the speaker's emotional sharing.
The speaker's commitment to using the phrase 'go on' as a form of encouragement and support, inspired by the military's approach to helping individuals through difficult times.
The overarching theme that love is a fundamental component of military effectiveness, with service members expressing deep bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood.
Transcripts
what's interesting about the story of
humanity and the concept of leadership
last first of all the title leadership
last comes from a conversation I had
with a marine right I said what makes
Marines better than all the other all
the others and he said officers eat last
and it's a concept shared across the
military it just happened to be with a
marine that's where that title comes
from and the opening story in leader Z
last is a war story
um you know I like to joke that they're
that uh in the military they give medals
to people who are willing to sacrifice
themselves so that others May gain and
in business we give bonuses to people
who are willing to sacrifice others so
that we may gain right
uh um but the true origin story for
leaders eat less which is not in the
book
was
um when uh came from an ex and I don't
talk about it that often I have talked
about it but I don't talk about that
often which is I had the opportunity to
go to Afghanistan
uh with the Air Force
um I had been doing a lot of work with
the mobility forces the air Mobility
forces
um are the branch of the Air Force that
are responsible for all of the the big
planes that don't
drop bombs or shoot bullets so no
fighter jets no bombers but the tankers
the cargo planes Air Force One all of
that stuff belongs to air Mobility
command and the general who's in charge
you know he said you know you've got to
know us really well but it would mean a
lot to me if you would be willing to go
to Iraq or Afghanistan to see our men
and women perform their Duty I would
like you to see what they do would you
be willing to go
and I said yes
um and they chose Afghanistan and I
didn't tell my family and very few
friends
um for the simple reasons I didn't want
them to worry
I told my parents that I was going away
with the Air Force for a few days true I
told them I was going to Germany
true I told him I'd be on a lot of
planes I'd probably be out of touch for
a while true I just didn't tell them I
was going from Germany to Afghanistan
and minor detail minor detail and it
became very real when I was at Dover Air
Force Base uh which is where we left
from and the first thing we got was a
tour of the mortuary where all the
Fallen Soldiers came through Dover
and then we went and I got fitted for my
uh Kevlar vest and helmet and they asked
me do you want the extra ceramic plate
like yes
um we flew
we flew uh to Germany on a C5 amazing
experience big big huge cargo plane with
like whole helicopters in the back
um and then we flew tobagrum uh on a
kc-135 tanker and the Air Force was
stretched so thin that they were using
tankers to bring inbound and stuff these
planes aren't designed to land in war
zones they have no defensive
capabilities they have no flares they
have nothing
and everything was fine
um and we landed in Bagram and the the
side door of the plane was open but we
were still on the plane we haven't got
enough we'd been on the ground maybe 10
minutes this is 10 o'clock at night it's
middle of the night they do that for
safety because we have no defensive
measures
um uh we're on the ground for maybe 10
minutes and the base came on a rocket
attack
and three rockets hit 100 yards off our
nose and you could hear them and the air
raid sirens blared and this through the
speaker they told everybody to go to
their bunkers to cover
and we are on a plane
and there's nothing we could do and and
nobody put on their helmets or their
vests because
our plan is filled with gas that's not
going to do anything
and everybody was weirdly relaxed and
for those who View and I think there's a
couple of you in the audience who've
been in a war zone you you have all the
feelings you're supposed to have but you
don't have them at the right times
so I was relaxed
yeah
um the Aryan Sirens turned off the all
clear was given and we could go to our
quarters we went to our quarters me and
my two escorts two officers who went
with me and
um and my only responsibility was to do
an airdrop Mission and they're not
regularly scheduled so we went to our
quarters we got like two maybe three
hours of sleep if we're really lucky got
up super early in the morning then we uh
did an airdrop in a C-17 where we flew
an hour and a half out to the middle of
Afghanistan to afford operating base
dropped down to 2000 feet the big door
open at the back and supplies parachuted
out the back and we were sitting right
there watching it happen it was an
incredible experience
come back to Bagram after the mission
was completed and now the goal is to
leave the country
and nothing's really regularly scheduled
and you sort of you have to find a plane
that we can get on to come home and we
did we found an aircraft that was an
outbound aeromedical Mission which means
they're taking away the taking back home
fallen soldiers and and Marines and
Airmen and sailors out of the war zone
and we had to get permission from the
pilots they said yes and then we waited
and waited and waited and waited and
waited and waited and waited and waited
and waited and waited and eventually we
got on the plane
all of our stuff was trapped down and
about five minutes before we're supposed
to leave the pilot came up to us and
says I need to bump you I need more room
for stretchers
and if there's ever a good reason to get
bumped off a plane this is about as good
as it gets so we got off the plane and
now the goal was to find another plane
we could get on and that's when we found
out that there were no other planes
going in the direction we needed to go
until Tuesday and it was only Saturday
and in that moment of upon receiving
that news every fiber of my being sank
um I could feel the panic
coming now that I didn't have before
I became a person that I am not and I
could see it happening like one of the
PA offices while the public affairs
officer said I can get you on a flight
to you know
Kazakhstan Kyrgyzstan but you don't have
the right visa and I put my finger in
his face and I said you get me on that
plane like I don't talk to people that
way you're in fear what's that you were
in fear I I was consumed by fear right
um
uh we went back to our quarters we're
all pretty exhausted and I lay on the
bed and I close my eyes there's no way
I'm sleeping and my mind is racing but I
close my eyes one of the officers said
well I'm gonna see if I can find another
flight and he left and the office the
other officer said well I'm gonna go to
the gym
and because I was in my bed with my eyes
closed you thought I was sleeping and as
he walked out the room he turned off the
lights
I'm now left by myself in this dark room
my mind is racing and I'm consumed by
fear I am now convinced I would bet
money I am a hundred percent convinced
that there's gonna be another rocket
attack it's definitely going to land
wherever I am and the way that my
parents are going to find out that I am
in Afghanistan is the someone who's
going to knock on the door and tell them
I'm convinced
I I
don't want to be there I regretted
saying yes
I'm lonely
and I am in the purpose business so I I
get this and so I thought to myself okay
you don't have a sense of purpose that's
what you need you need purpose you need
purpose okay so I started inventing
purpose I'm like you're here to give
witness and then come back and tell
their story
and I'd feel amazing and
and then like three minutes later
I wasn't amazing I was back into deep
panic and fear and I would do this a
couple of times I I would come up with
some nonsense and I think we do this
ourselves we come up with some
rationalized nonsense that sort of lasts
a little bit
and everything was exaggerated and
compressed for me you know
um and I I couldn't come up with
anything else and so I lay in that bed
and I I gave up
I I resigned myself
to being powerless and stuck you
surrendered surrender I I just gave up I
surrendered and and in that moment of
surrender
this intense calm came over me
I'd even go so far as to say excitement
where having now surrendered and given
myself up to the situation I decided
that I wanted to serve
that I would volunteer that would give
talks if they wanted around the base for
troop morale I would sweep floors if
they wanted me to I would carry boxes I
didn't care how menial the tasks were I
wanted to be there to serve
as if it were a movie the timing was
uncanny having just come to this
realization
having just learned what true service
means that truly to live a life of
service means the choice to serve those
who serve others
not everybody to serve those who serve
others
having just come to this magical insight
as if the door flung open it was Major
Throckmorton he said there's another
flight that's leaving we can get on it
we can get it there's another flight but
we have to leave now we have to leave
now they're really going to leave
without us where's Matt I'm like he's at
the gym
so we ran to the gym
he's on the treadmill like we gotta go
we gotta go there's another flight we
gotta go just as a quick aside
I'm not a in I'm not military so I'm not
allowed to wear uniform anything like
that
and I'm wearing uh khakis and a goal
shirt
which is like contractor wear
and a pair of boots and I'm scruffy and
I'm little
so I kind of look like Special Forces
[Laughter]
so when all the other troops see me run
into the gym go up to Once one guy and
go we gotta go we gotta go we gotta go
they're all like
what's going on
that was my little thrill
Ed anyway we ran back to our quarters we
grabbed our stuff he didn't have time to
shower he threw his uniform back on we
grabbed our packs and ran out to the the
flight line
to catch our plane as soon as we got to
the flight line we could see the C-17
that we were going to board and just as
we got there a security Cordon came down
and they wouldn't let us onto the field
because somewhere else on base
there was a fallen soldier ceremony
happening and what happens is out of
respect everything on base stops
and so we sat on the curb and we waited
and why we were sitting on the curb I
told the guys what I had just gone
through in the bed
and I I wept
it brings me to tears now I wept as I
told them the story and one thing people
don't realize about the military is
crying is just fine it's just fine
there's a lot of crying and it's just
fine
they hold space
yeah and uh we finally the security
Cordon came back up and we went and
boarded our aircraft
and what I haven't told you is the
reason that this was an unscheduled
aircraft and the reason
um it showed up as we would be carrying
the soldier for whom they just had
the ceremony
we got on the plane where the only three
passengers on that plane
and the Army brought upon the aircraft a
single flag drape casket and laid it in
the middle of the cargo bay
and all of the Airmen stood at attention
I didn't know what to do and I put my
hand on my heart I kind of felt like an
idiot and so I just stood at attention
with them in this perfect line
as the Army laid down the casket they
did a slow eight count salute to say
goodbye to their comrade we watched them
March off the plane hug and cry as they
walked out of sight the air crew got to
work and strapped down the precious
cargo and then we left it was a nine and
a half hour flight overnight back to
Ramstein back to Germany
and as soon as we got in the air
everybody like staked out a piece of
real estate to get some sleep and I was
last because they all sort of scattered
and so I was left uh sleeping next to
the casket
um on every other flight I was on WE
joked we talked we had a blast on every
other flight on this flight barely a
word was spoken on every other flight I
hung out in the cockpit talked to the
pilots on this flight I never visited
the cockpit once
um and I will tell you it was the
greatest honor of my life having just
learned what true service means getting
to bring home someone who understands
service more than I ever will
we get to Bagram we get to Ramstein and
our final flight home is uh an an air
medical evacuation where we're bringing
wounded the wounded back to America from
Germany
um some of them ambulatory some of them
not and it's a more relaxed on this
flight but in the back of the aircraft
there's a single Gurney
it was nurses tending to a whole bunch
of troops and there's a there's like
four doctors tending to one Marine who's
what they call ccat which is an
artificial coma
uh and I sort of stayed away out of
discomfort from the back of the plane
and I sort of like at some point like I
should really go so I went back and
talked to the docs and they were telling
me his wounds his buddy had stepped on
an IED and was killed and he took the
shrapnel he had traveled in the chest he
lost an eye
um shrapnel in the skull and
um and they were telling me how uh some
of the trauma care that was being
developed in Afghanistan and Iraq was
slowly making its way to civilian
hospitals back home so even when they're
wounded they're giving back to us
and the head doc the guy in charge was a
reservist from Austin
who works in an ER and I I asked him a
question had I not gone through what I
went through I asked him a question I
would never have asked him
I said I said you're a good guy you work
in an ER you save lives for a living
are these missions different than your
job back home
and he looked at me said there is no
comparison
he said 90 to 95 of the people who come
through the ER are either drunks or
idiots
he says there's not a single drunk or
idiot here he says the honor I get on
these missions
doesn't equate to an entire career
we made it back to Ramstein back to
Andrews Air Force Base we made it back
to Andrews Air Force Base we were the
last plane to land right before a huge
storm came in
which was amazing that they let us land
and we got off Andrews and there was
this the biggest rainbow I've ever seen
in my life
over over the over the base
I'll tell you one final piece to this
the deal I made with the general was
that I would go do my thing and then he
wanted me to come back to headquarters
and Report out what I had seen and share
any insights that I may have gleaned
and so about two weeks later I went back
to headquarters and did just that and I
stood in an auditorium
smaller than this and all of the brass
was there all the generals a bunch of
kernels like all the brass were there
and I told him what I went through in
the airdrop and some things that I was
really impressed by and the little
tweaks that I could see and I was going
over in my head do I want to tell the
story of coming home with this casket
and I sort of like was debating and I
finally decided to tell the story
And the emotions were raw I mean it had
just happened
And the emotions were raw and
I started telling the story and I I
couldn't
I swelled up and I I couldn't I couldn't
get the words out
and something magical happened
and you realize the difference between
private sector and these magical human
beings
if I and it's happened if I'm on a stage
and I well up and I get stuck somebody
in private sector will say it's okay
don't worry
right as if to push you aside
when I got stuck and welled up on that
stage
two words were spoken by the four star
who was sitting at the back of the room
he said
go on
as if to say go on you're safe or go and
we're with you
and that's amazing yeah he didn't say
stop
in a time of pain in a time of fear in a
time of overwhelm he did not say stop he
said go on
and this is why I wrote that book
because you realize the power
of community the power of friendship the
power of of a strong culture that is
built on love and I don't use that term
lightly if you ask folks in the military
I've I've talked to the the hardest of
Hardcore Warriors and I say what is it
that makes you good at what you do and
they say love they say love they love
each other we call each other colleagues
and co-workers they call each other
brother and sister and that relationship
is real
and from that day on when my friends
struggle I say go on
and that's why that book exists
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