Everything I Did to Break Free from the Shackles of SHYNESS- Take Back Control of Your Life #shyness

Summary

In this empowering video, the speaker shares her personal journey to overcome shyness, offering practical strategies for personal growth. She emphasizes the importance of self-love, social participation, and embracing mistakes as stepping stones to confidence. From spiritual practices like speaking in tongues to mastering social etiquette and articulating thoughts eloquently, the video provides a holistic approach to transforming from a shy individual into a bold, self-assured person. The message is clear: it's time to break free from the shackles of shyness and embrace one's unique value and potential.

Takeaways

• 🙏 The speaker overcame shyness by praying and asking for divine guidance to deal with it, emphasizing the importance of faith in their personal growth.
• 🗣️ Speaking in tongues was identified as a method to gain boldness, suggesting that activating spiritual strength can lead to increased confidence.
• 📚 The speaker retrained themselves to acquire life skills and knowledge that were not taught during their formative years, highlighting the importance of self-education.
• 💡 They constantly reminded themselves of their own importance and value to society, which is a strategy to combat the feelings of inadequacy often associated with shyness.
• ❤️ Mastering self-love was a significant step in overcoming shyness, as it helped to reduce the worry about others' opinions and increased self-worth.
• 🚀 The speaker intentionally did things outside their comfort zone, gradually becoming more comfortable with taking risks and facing challenges.
• 🎭 Participation in social activities and being in the center of attention was a conscious effort to overcome shyness and become more visible and involved.
• 🗣️ Practicing eloquent speech and effective communication was a deliberate action to improve articulation and express thoughts more confidently.
• 🍽️ Brushing up on social etiquette skills, such as dining and communication etiquette, helped the speaker to feel more at ease in social situations.
• 🤝 Becoming comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them was a liberating experience that helped the speaker to let go of the fear of failure.
• 🌟 Daily affirmations of boldness, confidence, and self-worth were used to reinforce a new self-image and to embody the characteristics of a courageous person.

Q & A

What was the main topic discussed in the video?

The main topic discussed in the video is overcoming shyness and the steps the speaker took to break free from its shackles.

What did the speaker emphasize about shy people in relation to their life progress?

The speaker emphasized that shy people often do not make it very far in life due to the limitations shyness imposes on personal growth and overall well-being.

What spiritual practice did the speaker mention as a method to overcome shyness?

The speaker mentioned speaking in tongues as a spiritual practice that helped her overcome shyness by activating the spirit of God within her, leading to a sense of boldness.

How did the speaker approach retraining herself to overcome shyness?

The speaker approached retraining herself by learning and teaching herself essential life skills such as communication, self-esteem, confidence, respect, and self-love.

What importance does the speaker place on self-reminders for overcoming shyness?

The speaker places great importance on self-reminders, emphasizing the need to constantly remind oneself of personal value and importance in society to combat feelings of inadequacy.

How did the speaker practice self-love as part of overcoming shyness?

The speaker practiced self-love by mastering the art of loving herself more than anyone else on Earth, which helped her to stop worrying about others' opinions and build her confidence.

What did the speaker do to intentionally step outside her comfort zone?

The speaker intentionally participated in social activities and took on roles that put her in the public eye, such as joining the ushering department in church and participating in social functions.

How did the speaker work on her communication skills to overcome shyness?

The speaker worked on her communication skills by increasing her vocabulary, reading, watching foreign movies to learn pronunciation, and practicing speaking eloquently in front of a mirror.

What role did mastering social etiquette play in the speaker's journey to overcome shyness?

Mastering social etiquette played a significant role as it equipped the speaker with the confidence to navigate social situations without feeling awkward or shy, especially in high-profile events.

How did the speaker change her attitude towards making mistakes as part of overcoming shyness?

The speaker became comfortable with making mistakes, seeing them as a natural part of growth and learning, rather than something to fear or avoid, which helped liberate her from the fear of being perfect all the time.

What daily affirmations did the speaker use to reinforce her new identity as a confident person?

The speaker used daily affirmations such as 'I am bold,' 'I am confident,' 'I am super intelligent,' and 'I am valuable,' repeating them as often as possible to embody the personality of a bold and confident woman.

Outlines

00:00

🙏 Overcoming Shyness Through Spiritual Awakening

The speaker begins by addressing their audience as their 'elegant family' and introduces this as a continuation of a previous video on shyness. They recap the causes and effects of shyness, emphasizing its hindrance to personal growth and social interaction. The speaker then encourages viewers to watch the previous video for a deeper understanding. They transition into sharing personal strategies for overcoming shyness, starting with a spiritual approach. In their early 20s, the speaker turned to prayer and sought divine guidance to deal with shyness. This led to an understanding and practice of speaking in tongues, which they believe helped them find an inexplicable level of boldness. The speaker emphasizes the importance of not taking this spiritual practice lightly and shares the transformative effect it had on their ability to express themselves and break free from shyness.

05:00

📚 Self-Education and the Power of Positive Self-Talk

The speaker continues by discussing the importance of self-education in overcoming shyness. They discovered that as a young adult, they lacked essential life skills and knowledge, which they felt were not adequately taught during their formative years. To address this, they embarked on a journey of self-teaching, focusing on areas such as communication, self-esteem, confidence, respect, and self-love. The speaker highlights the significance of reminding oneself of their value and uniqueness, counteracting the negative self-perception often associated with shyness. They stress the importance of positive self-talk and self-affirmation as a means to build confidence and break free from the constraints of shyness.

10:02

💖 Mastering Self-Love and Social Participation

The speaker delves into the concept of self-love as a critical component in overcoming shyness. They share their personal journey of learning to love themselves deeply, which helped them worry less about others' opinions and become more self-assured. The speaker also discusses the importance of stepping out of one's comfort zone by intentionally engaging in activities that were previously daunting. They provide examples such as joining the ushering department in church and participating in social functions, which helped them become more comfortable with being in the public eye and being seen by others. This active participation in social activities is presented as a key strategy in the battle against shyness.

15:04

🎭 Embracing Public Roles and Enhancing Communication Skills

The speaker recounts their experiences participating in social activities and taking on public roles, such as becoming a subguard commander during a parade and winning a beauty pageant, despite their shy nature. They highlight the importance of practice and preparation in overcoming shyness, using these experiences to build confidence. The speaker also emphasizes the need to improve communication skills by expanding vocabulary, watching foreign films to learn proper pronunciation, and practicing speaking eloquently. They discuss the value of understanding and practicing social etiquette, which helped them feel comfortable in high-level social settings, such as dining with the CEO of YouTube. The speaker concludes by discussing the liberating effect of becoming comfortable with making mistakes and the importance of learning from them, rather than fearing them.

🚀 Affirmations and the Journey to Boldness and Confidence

In the final paragraph, the speaker talks about the power of daily affirmations in shaping one's mindset and overcoming shyness. They share their personal practice of reciting positive statements about their boldness, confidence, and value, which helped them embody these traits. The speaker also reads a scripture from 2 Timothy 1:7, emphasizing the message that God does not give us a spirit of fear but one of power, love, and a sound mind. They encourage viewers to break free from shyness, to see themselves as bold, confident individuals, and to use their God-given gifts to live a fulfilling life. The speaker ends the video with an invitation for viewers to share their experiences and strategies for overcoming shyness in the comments section.

Keywords

💡Shyness

Shyness is a personality trait characterized by feelings of apprehension, discomfort, or awkwardness in social situations. In the video, it is the central theme and the subject the speaker is addressing. The speaker discusses the impact of shyness on personal growth and well-being and shares her personal journey of overcoming it.

💡Personality

Personality refers to the unique set of characteristics that form an individual's identity, including temperament, behavior, and thoughts. The video discusses how shyness can be a part of one's personality and how it can be transformed through conscious effort.

💡Growth

Growth in the context of the video refers to personal development and improvement in various aspects of life, such as social skills and self-confidence. The speaker emphasizes that shyness can hamper growth, and she shares her experiences in overcoming shyness to foster her personal growth.

💡Speaking in Tongues

Speaking in Tongues is a spiritual practice in some Christian denominations where individuals speak in languages unknown to them, believed to be a spiritual gift. The speaker mentions this as a method she used to overcome shyness, suggesting it brought her a sense of boldness and empowerment.

💡Retraining

Retraining in this video refers to the process of learning and unlearning behaviors and skills to improve oneself. The speaker talks about how she retrained herself to be more confident, communicate effectively, and develop self-esteem, which contributed to overcoming her shyness.

💡Self-esteem

Self-esteem is the value and respect one has for oneself. The video mentions the importance of having a strong self-esteem in overcoming shyness. The speaker shares that she worked on building her self-esteem as part of her journey to become more assertive and less shy.

💡Self-love

Self-love is the act of loving and accepting oneself deeply. The speaker highlights the importance of self-love in breaking free from shyness. She shares that mastering self-love helped her to worry less about others' opinions and to be more confident in social situations.

💡Comfort Zone

A comfort zone is a psychological state in which a person feels familiar, safe, and at ease. The video discusses stepping out of one's comfort zone as a strategy to overcome shyness. The speaker intentionally did activities that were outside her comfort zone to become more confident and less shy.

💡Social Etiquette

Social Etiquette refers to the norms and expectations that govern behavior in social situations. The speaker talks about the importance of understanding and mastering social etiquette to feel more confident and less shy in various social settings, including dining and corporate environments.

💡Mistakes

Mistakes are errors or faults made unintentionally. In the video, the speaker discusses the fear of making mistakes as a barrier to overcoming shyness. She encourages the audience to become comfortable with making mistakes and to learn from them as part of personal growth.

💡Affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements that individuals repeat to themselves to influence their thoughts and actions. The speaker mentions using affirmations to change her mindset and embody the traits of boldness and confidence, which helped her to overcome shyness.

Highlights

The video is a continuation on the topic of shyness and its impact on personal growth and well-being.

Emphasizes that shy people often struggle to make significant progress in life due to their personality.

The speaker shares personal experiences and strategies to overcome shyness.

A call to prayer and seeking divine guidance as a first step to overcoming shyness.

Introduction of the concept of speaking in tongues as a method to gain boldness and break free from shyness.

The importance of retraining oneself and acquiring life skills not learned in formative years.

Self-teaching on communication, self-esteem, confidence, respect, and self-love as key to overcoming shyness.

The power of self-affirmation and reminding oneself of personal value and importance.

Mastering the art of self-love to mitigate concerns about others' opinions.

The benefits of stepping out of one's comfort zone and facing challenges head-on.

Participation in social activities and taking on visible roles to combat shyness.

Winning the Miss NYC pageant as a testament to overcoming shyness and gaining confidence.

Practicing eloquent speech and effective communication as a means to boost confidence.

Brushing up on social etiquette skills to feel more comfortable in social situations.

Becoming comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them as part of personal growth.

Daily affirmations of boldness, confidence, and intelligence to embody a courageous personality.

A scripture reading from 2 Timothy 1:7 to encourage boldness and reject shyness in utilizing God-given gifts.

A final call to action for viewers to break free from shyness and embrace a bold, confident life.

Transcripts

hey my elegant family this is a

continuation video of the topic called

shyness that we started dealing with

from last week in last week's video I

shared with you some of the causes of

shyness and why some people or most

people have actually embod this

personality or emotion called shinness

and then I also shared how it can affect

you as an individual how it can hamper

with your growth your overall wellbe and

just humer with everything good about

your life I also emphasize on the fact

that people who are shy never make it

very far in life so if you haven't

watched that video I very much highly

advise that you go and watch that video

first then you come back and continue

watching this one because in this part

I'm going to be sharing with you the

things that I did to break free from the

shackles of shyness yes it's very

possible to break free from the shackles

of shyness and I'm going to be telling

you everything that I did to break free

so let's get right into it shall we

before we get right into the video for

today if you haven't subscribed to the

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the very first thing that I did when I

said to myself that this shyness was not

going to take a hold of me anymore this

was in my early 20s I said mm M this

wasn't going to happen anymore was I

prayed to God about it and asked him to

show me how to deal with it I'm a Jesus

girly I'm the kind of girl who knows

that she has a father who she can go to

talk to and ask for help and at that

early age I was already big on um loving

God and understanding um My Life as a

child of God so I remember one day in

church this thing was just so annoying I

couldn't take it anymore and I remember

during the service I just asked God can

you tell me how to deal with this thing

called shyness and that was when I

actually came into the understanding of

this thing called speaking in tongues if

you are a child of God watching this

video and you are spirit filled right do

not I repeat do not play around or joke

around with speaking in tongues now

speaking in tongues in from where I come

from is a language of the spirit and

there is a certain level of boldness

that is inexplainable that takes charge

of you as a person when you actually

activate that spirit of God within you

by speaking in tongues I tell you that

was the first thing that I did and for

the first time I think it was after a

week after that prayer that I made to

God that I listen to a message about

speaking in tongues and how to speak in

tongues to charge yourself up and I tell

you from that day till this day I have

spoken in tongu so freaking much that I

actually started to see I have I said I

started to experience this thing called

boldness well up from within me the

first time in my life I could talk talk

to someone and say no I didn't like what

you did for the first time in my life I

could express myself and this is

actually what worked for me I started

speaking in tongues more earnestly and I

took on this um personality of a very

bold person I can't explain it it's a

mystery and I really don't want to go

deep into it because I mean I know I

have we have a lot of people on this

channel who are not all Christians but

if you're a Christian who is filled with

the Holy Spirit don't take speaking in

tongues lightly at all okay the second

thing that I did to break free from the

shackles of shyness was I started to

retrain myself I discovered that as a 21

yearold adult there was so many things I

didn't know I had very limited knowledge

I was functioning with very limited

knowledge like knowledge about life

trainings and skills that I needed to

thrive because they were not taught me

at an early age by my Guardians and my

parents at the time again I don't blame

them for it but there are certain things

that we all need in our formative years

to help us grow and develop into

mature responsible adults that were

supposed to have been taught us things

like how to communicate properly things

like self-esteem having a great

self-esteem things like building your

confidence so many things like respect

how to show respect to yourself How To

Love Yourself how to love others those

are real life things that should have

been taught us as children in our

formative years but wearing Tau to some

of us unfortunately so because I quickly

realized that I was living life with

very

limited knowledge at the time I had to

go and start retraining myself and

teaching myself these things I started

teaching myself how to be a more

confident lady I started teaching myself

how to communicate more confidently and

effectively I started teaching myself

how to respect myself how to Value

myself how to respect others I started

teaching myself little principles like

kindness loyalty being honest those

little little things that you think are

insignificant are things that actually

help build up shape of a person's

personality and I had to start teaching

myself that all over again as a 21

yearold adult trust me it wasn't the

easiest thing to do but I'm so glad that

I did it next thing I did was I

constantly reminded myself that I

mattered so much in the grand scheme of

things and that I was useful and had

something of value to offer

Society now timid shy people always

think that they are the ones who who are

not good enough that's why they are

always the ones seated by the corner

like they always just like this like

hiding away and not wanting anyone to

see them or notice them that's how you

know a shy person but I tell you when

you have REM when you constantly remind

yourself that you are important and that

you matter in the grand scheme of things

nobody else is better than you I'm

telling you for free there's nobody like

you nobody can be better than you you

can only be the best of yourself as much

as you have developed your confidence

and your self-esteem and your self-love

so tell yourself every single day that

in the grand scheme of things you two

are important you have something to

offer this world you have something to

offer Society it's not only people who

you think are bold and confident no

acquire those things that pep talking

yourself up and constantly remind

yourself I am valuable I have things

offer Society I know that I'm good

enough I know that I'm worthy those are

the things I said telling myself and

before I knew it I started breaking free

from the shackles of what shyness before

we go on with the video remember that we

have the art of speaking eloquently and

elegantly CA is currently up on discount

you don't want to miss it we're taking

back the we're taking the discount away

very soon so use the link in the

description box down below to get my

information about it and of course

access the course as well okay now this

course is important if you trying to

level up on your communication skills be

an eloquent speaker know how to um

effectively communicate your thoughts

and your ideas and your feelings without

feeling shy and awkward and timid and

easily intimidated that cost is

definitely for you okay so go get your

hands on it let's get right back into

the video next thing I did was I

mastered the art of self-love this

helped me stop worrying so much about

what people thought about me as a human

being

I mastered the art of loving myself like

right now I don't think that there's

anybody on the surface of this Earth

that loves me more than I love myself I

know that I'm abundantly loved by God by

the people around me but you see my own

love the love I have for myself it's

like one of the greatest loves I can

ever I can ever imagine so I mastered

that Art of Loving myself we have a

video on this channel where I went deep

I went deep into the topic of self love

please go look for that video and watch

that video so that you can really

understand the concept of selflove and

start loving yourself today because as a

shy person you really need a big dose of

selflove to break out of the shackles of

shyness the next thing I did was I

intentionally started to do things that

were outside my comfort zone yes and I

did it one step at a time one day at a

time and what I quickly realized was the

moment I did something

once right I I became if it became

easier to do it a second time the first

time around might be a little bit

awkward but I broke myself free I'm like

no no no I'm going to do this I don't

care who's looking at me I don't care if

I make a mistake I don't care I'm just

going to get this thing done and I found

out that the minute I did it it became

so easy to do it the second time I'll

give you an example back then like I

said I didn't want to be seen I didn't

like being seen in public I

intentionally decided to join the

ushering department in church and you

you guys know that aers are literally

like the center of attention when

they're trying to guide people to their

seat and show people their ways and all

I joined the aering Department in church

so that I could be a master at letting

people watch me and see me without me

getting shy or intimidated apart from

church I did a lot of ushering jobs for

social functions when I was in my when I

was in the University as well so just I

broke free from that and I'm like I

don't care who's watching I'm just going

to do this thing and be I'm and be

excellent at it so whatever it is that

is your own comfort zone try to break

free from it try to take it one step at

a time and break free from it and I

Promise You by doing that you're

literally breaking the shackles of

shyness this next point is somehow

connected to the last point and it is I

intentionally participated in social

activities and made sure I was right at

the center in the view of everyone

instead of being at the back hiding in

the crowd

guys it was around this time that I also

went to um uh we did the NYC I went to

the NYC orientation Camp if you live in

Nigeria you know that after after

University you have to go for the onee

NYSC orientation camp for 3 weeks in a

camp where everyone is just together I

participated in all of the activities

that was where I actually contested for

Miss NYC and I

won

yes I um I I will put pictures if I have

pictures this was a shy timid girl who

said no no no no no I'm going to

intentionally participate in these

social activities because this shyness

will not keep me bound so I went on

participated in the NYC Miss NYC pant

and I won I was in platoon 5 I won for

my platoon I was a subguard commander in

the match parade and my platoon platoon

5 also came first we won first place in

the match pass and I was the subguard

commander the subguard commander is the

commander is in front then you have two

subguard commanders before you now have

the remaining people who are Marching so

there's the commander subguard commander

and then the remaining people in the

match in the match parade I was one of

the subguard

commanders the shy awkward girl who said

mm- I'm not going to let this shyness

take a hold of me I'm going to

participate in Social functions and I

will let people see me I must be seen I

also participated in in the cooking

competition I did a lot of things of

course that wasn't easy for me to do but

what actually made it easy was I I

practiced I remember during the pageant

when I was practicing and rehearsing for

the pageant when everybody has gone

ahead to sleep in Camp I will be up on

my bed reading questions on

understanding the questions the kind of

questions that I will be asked during

the pageant I'll be doing the dance I

asked some of my roommates to teach me

how to do the dance and guys I was Miss

NYC a shy te me intimidated intimidated

girl I did the damn thing if I could I

tell you you can the next thing I did

was I started practicing how to speak

eloquently and articulate my thoughts

effectively by doing things like

increasing my word Bank reading a lot

listening to the news when I'm watching

a movie I'm intentional about learning

how they pronounce their words so um no

shade to Nollywood movies I stopped

watching Nollywood movies for for a long

while and I started watching um foreign

movies cuz I I felt to myself that if I

was going to be a master at English

language I needed to start watching the

people who the language originated from

their from like so I start watching a

lot of Hollywood movies and when I'm

watching I'm not watching for just

entertainment alone I was only I was

also watching for education I would

listen to how they pronounce their words

and I would always ensure that I

practice it um when I was all by myself

I remember those times when I was stand

in front of the mirror and I'm talking I

remember there was a time in my life I

used to pronounce cucumber as cucumber I

used to pronounce pineapple as pineapple

I don't know there's a way they

pronounce it I can't pronounce it that

that ugly way anymore I used to

pronounce these things as in a very

weird way and those things hampered with

my with my communication skills and

being able to um um articulate my

thoughts effectively so when I started

to learn I started to understand how to

pronounce my words correctly it welded

up this boldness and confidence in me

and now I can speak to any freaking

person at any freaking time without

being with so much

confidence that can be you as well okay

the next thing I did was I brushed up on

my social etiquette skills I mastered

the art of dining etiquette

communication etiquette corporate

etiquette social etiquette think about

all the etiquette when you're on a

dining table how do you behave when I

remember when I was when I traveled to

Paris to meet the CEO of YouTube

we were treated to a five cost dinner

and we're about I think we're about in

all we were about maybe um 12 to 15 of

us on the table I was the only black

girl from Africa on that table I mean

because I was already well armed in the

knowledge of dining etiquette I knew

exactly what I what what I was doing or

what I was supposed to do the there were

lots of table um there were lots of um

Cutlery on the table the glass wees that

had the wine the GL the the wine glass

the water glass it had different plates

I knew exactly what was going to be

saved at what time I knew how to hold my

knife and my correctly and because

of that I wasn't awkward I didn't feel

awkward I wasn't shy I wasn't timid

because I was already well armed in

dining etiquette and of course

communication etiquette because I was

meeting a lot of people there for the

very first time I wasn't shy I was the

boldest girl in the room in fact for an

African black girl who everyone thinks

oh you should be some kind of way I was

the boldest in the ran that definitely

gave me an advantage so please brush up

on your social etiquette skills okay the

next thing I did was I became very

comfortable with making mistakes this

for me it was the most liberating part

of the whole experience because the

reason one of the major reasons why I

was always timid and shy was I was

afraid I was too scared of making

mistakes but everybody makes mistakes

like I said before even the adults the

parents

they all make mistakes everyone makes

mistakes because everyone is on

different levels on their growth and

their knowledge Journey now making the

mistake is not where the problem is is

what you do after you've made that

mistake do you learn from the mistake

correct yourself pick up the pace and

keep going or do you wallow in the

mistake what do you do when you have

made a mistake that's where the problem

is so I immediately realize okay

everybody makes

mistakes making mistake is not a bad

thing it's what I do after I made that

mistake that determines whether it is

bad or good and that for me was when I

started to liberate myself from the

shackles of trying to always do the

right thing all the time being prim and

proper all the time being perfect all

the time that's not very um sustainable

or attainable and it's okay to make

mistakes and then the last point that I

put down here of the thing I did to

actually break free from the shackles of

bondage is I started affirming and

believing

these words every day words like I am

bold I am confident I am super

intelligent I have an extraordinary

amplitude of comprehension in my path

there is no such thing as timidity no

such thing as fear no such thing as

shyness I am very bold and confident in

expressing my thoughts articulating my

ideas I matter I'm important I'm

valuable I will say this as many times

in a day as possible until I embodied

the personality of a bold confident and

a super courageous woman that's the

woman that you all see here today before

I go I'm going to read a scripture from

2 Timothy 1:7 I'm a Jesus girly and for

those who are watching that literally

want to break free from this bondage

this scripture will do you a lot of good

so it's 2 Timothy chap 1: 7 and I'm

going to read it from

the message translation it says God

doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts

but bold and loving and

sensible that same scripture in King

James version is for God had not given

us the spirit of fear but of power and

of love and of a sound mind I prefer the

message translation because because it

uses that word shy it says God doesn't

want us to be shy with his gifts but

bold and loving and sensible God has

bombarded a lot of gifts inside of you

the fact that you have a brain eyes that

see nose that smell mouths that speak

hands that move legs that keep you going

those are gifts that God has given to

you and God expects you to use those

gifts to produce results and make your

life on this Earth very beautiful and

valuable and you cannot do that if you

are a shy or an awkward or a teamate

person I tell you opportunities will

continue to pass you by if you continue

to stay within the confines of the

shackles of shinness so it's up to you

today to Break Free Break yourself free

tell it enough is enough I'm not going

to let you hold me bound no more I'm not

going to let you keep me down anymore

more I am a bold confident courageous

person because God does not want me shy

with his gifts but he wants me bold he

wants me loving and of course he wants

me

sensible that's pretty much all I have

for you for today's video I hope you

have watched till the end if there is a

point that you think that can also help

us embody this um art of boldness and

confidence please do well to leave us a

comment in the comment section down

below so we can all continue to learn

I'll see you all next time with another

beautiful episode until then remember to

stay very elegant take care

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